IN THE RED CORNER
When our crew went into the wilds of Costa Rica, we didn't know what we'd find, and prepared ourselves for the worst. It's a good thing we did, because the monstrosity that shambled out of the jungle and promptly began attempting to devour our employees is about as bad as we'd feared.
We saw the thing coming out of the trees. It had no eyes and rotting knees. We commenced to shaking and we said "Oh, god damn it", because it looks like a Purple Creature Eater.
+ The Purple Creature Eater is an offshoot of the Purple Terror. It has taken root inside the rotting body of Dinocroc and is puppeting it as its' vassal, allowing it to walk.
+ Dinocroc's body has had poisons injected that slow down its' decomposition, allowing the Purple Terror to keep it held together until it finds more hosts.
+ The Purple Terror has many vines - it seems like more are always sprouting, and it has a serious regeneration ability.
+ The plant can heal itself by sucking energy from opponents.
+Dinocroc's body is about 37 feet long (used to be 40 but his jaws have fallen off). The vines can extend quite a bit.
- If the body is destroyed, the Purple Terror will have limited mobility options. The regeneration also ceases when a body is no longer present to suck power from.
- Slow.
- Fire Bad.
IN THE BLUE CORNER
We here at Greentech believe strongly in giving our monsters the best. At least, when it's US reviving them and not outside circumstances. With that in mind, we were offered a lucrative contract by Hazbrute to have one of our champions sponsored by them. We're not going to ignore that kind of cash, let me tell you. And honestly, I'd say Piranhaconda is better off for it.
He is now The Piranha Commando.
+ We have gotten top-line surgeons to install a brand new set of artificial peepers. Better cones, rods, corneas, the works. In other words, he can see now.
+ His head has been patched up with steel plating, both protecting him from future pipe-brainings and making headbutts more effective.
+ At 53 feet in length, the Piranha Commando is the longer of the two beasts.
+The Piranha Commando's lower body is covered in metal plating, ending in a wicked pickaxe.
+ He can also fly - he is equipped with a jetpack. The jetpack is powered via a battery and a propeller, so he will not be able to exploit his opponent's fire weakness with it.
+ In order to check off Hazbrute's "2edgy dark backstory" requirement for their boys' action figures, he is wielding the very pipe Sharktopus killed him with in Hawaii.
+ He's still got a piranha head, so he's still got piranha jaws.
- Piranha Commando is lighter in weight than the Purple Creature Eater.
- His face and upper body are unarmored and vulnerable.
- The jetpack has a limited charge. He's got a couple minutes of flight time total.
+ Buy All His Playsets And Toys
THE ARENA
We're hosting this one ourselves! Greentech is using the money from Hazbrute's sponsorship to complete the construction of the arena we'd always wanted - a wondrous, shielded thing with room for crowds and some surprise hazards for the battlers. Watch your step, you two.
VOTING CLOSES ON MONDAY, JULY 22!
#PURPLE CREATURE EATER
ReplyDeleteI really think this will come down to a contest of who has more expendable body mass to lose, and the commando is lacking in the bulk department. PCE just needs to get a good thwack in on the flesh bit to take down the piranha, but the plant can heal up and sap its host body to keep going. Just like a normal plant to it can handle having some vines severed, and Dinocroc's body could just as easily ignore any minor damage that Piranha Commando's weapons will be dishing out.
I have to disagree with JRM here and say that #Piranha Commando has this. He's just simply the better-equipped monster here - PCE is just plants and rotting corpse, and isn't even half the animal the old Dinocroc used to be. Without a doubt, that ol' fish will rip him apart with everything he's got and leave nothing but scraps.
ReplyDeleteAlso, he has product endorsement. In the cruel world of animal combat, the one with corporate backing always wins.
Piranha Commando's going to find himself with reversed fortunes thanks to #Purple Creature Eater's vines. Now he'll be the one having to deal with being grappled and torn apart. Between zombielike fortitude and health-sapping plants, Purple Creature Eater has become nearly unkillable. Piranha Commando, meanwhile, is a mess. He uses headbutts but swings with his tail, meaning his body will be constantly upside down and most of his blood will rush straight to his head. He has stubby little fins but he's trying to use a pipe as a weapon, and while I mean no disrespect toward the pipe it just doesn't seem like a good choice here. Finally, he has a giant, gaping weak spot in his armor: his entire chest and facial area where damage is most easily done.
ReplyDeleteAND WE'RE OUT OF TIME
ReplyDeleteVoting closed, fight later this week!