Halloween Costumes of Years Past

Well, it's Halloween night. Aside from some opportune gold digging at the bargain racks, this is everyone's last chance to get their fix of spooky fall fun before Santa rides in on a turkey and takes over reality for two months. I'm going to take a look back at my childhood again, this time to review all of the Halloween costumes I've ever worn - that I can remember - and their rough order...

Pumpkin - Infant costume, a simple set of pajamas with a pumpkin motif.

Dinosaur - I was still just a toddler, so I didn't go trick-or-treating in this.

Bear - This is the earliest costume I can recall that I went trick-or-treating in. I'm pretty sure it was homemade. I was not a scary bear. >_>

Skeleton - The typical skeleton costume is an all-black ensemble with white bones, so it looks pretty skeleton-y at night. My mom liked the idea but not the costume quality, and set to work making a homemade version. She painstakingly painted a skeleton onto a plain black shirt and pants. It was pretty damn impressive.

Devil - I always liked the costumes with accessories. Here my mom made me a pitchfork out of cardboard and aluminum foil.

Magician - One of my more unusual costumes, and also one of my last. I think I picked it because I got a magic set for my birthday a few weeks earlier. A simple, cheap costume choice, I already had the plastic hat. I simply added a plush rabbit, a black set of clothes, and a mustache courtesy of a makeup crayon sorta thing and I was good to go.

Zombie - I think this was my final costume, worn in fourth or fifth grade. Pretty sure it was just tattered old clothes and some face makeup to make a big fake scar.

I also have a vague memory of possibly being a vampire one year, but can't place when that was. Probably between devil and magician.

You guys ever go as anything interesting?

Ten Things For A Dime: The Ten Cents Challenge

Last winter I had an eBay gift card. After buying a bunch of stuff with it, I was soon left with a balance of exactly ten cents.

This would not stand.

It was my mission to begin searching eBay for items that started as one cent auctions with free shipping, bid on them, and hope and pray nobody else was interested. It was a long and hard struggle, but eventually I prevailed. The gift card was completely used up. But what exactly can one buy for a penny? Let's find out. My Hedorah and Baltan four-inch figures will be modeling the goods.

1: Digital Camera USB Cable
The most useful of the ten items, this cable was purchased to serve as a backup in case the original, identical one our digital camera uses ever went missing. We go back and forth between having two cables and finding only one, so I'd say this was a great buy.

2: Europe-To-USA Plug Converter
Can you say Crazy Prepared? On the off-chance I ever fly to the UK or France, I can bring along the home electronic of my choosing!

3 and 4: Rubber Fishbone Cable Winders
 The second-most useful item I purchased was the blue fishbone there. I had a pair of headphones with an unusually long cord, and the fishbone saved the day by making the cable shorter! However, those headphones broke a while back, so the fishbones remain in reserve until I once more have a long, thin cable that needs shortening.

5: Online Wi-Fi Pokemon Trade
The user's name was, I believe, "Pokemontrainer2000". The auction name was "Certian Kind of pokemon over wifi" (yes, he misspelled "certain") and boasted of Mewtwo, Dialga, Giratina, and other Pokemon available to trade. I won a trade from him and sent my Friend Code along with a request for a Mewtwo. He never responded, even though I paid, and a week later his account was closed. HOPE YOU CHOKE ON THAT PENNY, PUNK.

6: Butterfly Pins
While that last one was a bust, THIS worked out better than my wildest dreams. I entered a butterfly pin auction and lost, but was given a "Second Chance Offer" to purchase a one-cent pin outright. Hell yeah, bro.

And then when it arrived they gave me a second one. HELL YEAH, BRO!

I don't know what it cost to make these pins, but it was probably more than half a penny. Deal get.

7: Tongue Scraper
Because why not. Its best function is actually as an action figure weapon, as helpfully demonstrated below.

Aw yeah.

8: SD Card Case
Hey, this could come in handy! I saw an SD Card lying around in the open when I ordered this, but by the time it arrived, I couldn't find the card anywhere. Probably it was placed back into the Wii or whatever. If I ever need to hold one, though, I won't be wanting!

9: Drawstring Pouch
This pouch's main function is to hold some of the other items, like the tongue scraper and the plug.

10: A Penny
(Note: Model penny is a different penny than the one I purchased)

Yes, I bought a penny for a penny. But my penny was eBay gift card money. Therefore, I managed to convert gift card money into cash, and everyone has wanted to do that at some point in their lives.

Plus, the penny was a "Lincoln log cabin" penny, talked up big time by the sellers despite them having 600 of the darn things listed simultaneously. My mom took an interest in the penny and bought it from me for a dollar, technically making this one of the biggest scores of them all with a 99-cent profit!

And so, that's the story of how, with a lot of patience and a little luck, you can get ten things for ten cents even with today's prices. Fun Fact: Everything except the penny, the failed Pokemon trade, and the cable is from Hong Kong.

Gaming Retrospective (Part 6)

While I have stuck behind Nintendo, getting the DS and Wii and planning on a 3DS, my brother has been branching out to other companies. The trigger was Guitar Hero. He showed interest in the series, and when Guitar Hero 3 released he snatched up the Wii version on launch day and played the absolute living daylights out of it, forever ruining Dragonforce in the process. That next spring, he used his Christmas money to buy a PS2 Slim and Guitar Hero 2. He ordered them online, and much to his dismay GH2 arrived first. What a tease!

A few years later he opted to get a 360 since the Wii always got the shit end of the stick when it came to multiplatform releases. He now plays Microsoft's system almost exclusively, and his library is almost entirely first-person shooters and music games - genres I've never cared for. We used to like the same games, but around when he found Guitar Hero we started drifting apart. The last game we extensively enjoyed together was Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

Neither of these systems has really been played by me a great deal - they're not really "mine". The 360 in particular is just where I've played a couple Xbox Live Arcade games I liked. The PS2, meanwhile, has seen a lot more use from me, first in the form of compilation games like Capcom Classics Collection and then later some of Nippon Ichi's strategy games after I played and thoroughly enjoyed Disgaea DS. So keep in mind my experience with both systems is pretty weak.

As for the DS and Wii, there's not much in the way of interesting anecdotes surrounding them - it's pretty brief. First there was my mom's heroic efforts in acquiring a DS in November 2004, managing to get an employee to hold the systems for her at Toys R Us so she could drive down there and claim them, even though the employee wasn't supposed to do that. Our Wii, meanwhile, hails from Florida. My father was taking his annual trip to Florida and my brother and I gave him our money so he could buy a Wii and Super Paper Mario. My brother and I have had a complicated relationship with my dad I won't go in-depth with here, but suffice it to say 1) My parents divorced over a decade ago, 2) I no longer see my father, and 3) Recently he took off to live in Florida permanently, and if my mom hadn't spied on his mother's FaceBook we wouldn't have known until he sent us a court summons ordering that he wanted to pay less child support (my brother is still a minor). In short, he's a douche and I hope he dies, but at least we were able to use him as a Wii-retrieving pack mule back in '07.

GB's DS Favorites
-Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney and every sequel (LOCALIZE AAI2 CAPCOM YOU MORONS)
-Pokemon DPP
-Pokemon BW
-Disgaea DS
-Kirby Super Star Ultra
-Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story
-New Super Mario Brothers
-WarioWare: Touched
-The Legendary Starfy
-Mario Kart DS

GB's Wii Favorites
-Super Smash Brothers Brawl
-Super Paper Mario
-Space Invaders Get Even
-Blast Works
-Deadly Creatures
-Godzilla Unleashed
-MySims
-Mortal Kombat Armageddon

What GB has liked so far on PlayStation 2
-Capcom Classics Collection 1 and 2
-Disgaea 2
-La Pucelle Tactics

What GB has liked so far on Xbox 360
-Castle Crashers
-Assault Heroes

Gaming Retrospective (Part 5)

The N64 well was running dry. To my dismay, it was dying out even though we'd only just gotten it less than a couple years ago. Now, there were new systems in town: The PlayStation 2, the GameCube, and the Xbox. I had a problem. My brother wanted to get a PS2. I wanted a GameCube. As our savings grew, I was increasingly worried that we'd miss out on the Cube and buy the PS2 instead. I needed a way to bring my brother back to Nintendo.

I got my wish in an issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly, which I occasionally grabbed off the magazine rack if the issue looked cool (my first issue featured a Pokemon Gold and Silver preview, my second was about the Game Boy Advance, and my third I simply purchased because I wanted something video game-y to read). Anyway, this issue featured a review of Super Smash Brothers Melee, and it sounded like an amazing game. My brother and I had rented and loved the original Smash Brothers, and the glowing reviews of its sequel swayed my brother into wanting a Cube as well. The number one line from the review that we both loved (perhaps because we were both still kids in 2002) was "If the first game made you happy, the sequel will make you crap your pants with glee".

And so we got the Cube, but not with Smash Brothers because the store was out of copies. Our first game was Luigi's Mansion. But we had a problem. A BIG problem. You see, the Cube was our first disc-based system. We didn't know how they worked. We didn't get a memory card.

Ever tried to play a GameCube with no memory card? It's not fun. Ever seen the first twenty minutes of Luigi's Mansion two dozen times? I have. The N64 wound up retaking its position as alpha console, the stunted Cube getting neglected. It wasn't until Christmas of that year that we finally got SSBM and a memory card.

I've played a ton of great games on the Cube, and I might go so far as to call it my favorite system overall. I have more GameCube games than any other type of video game. I continued buying and playing new games for it well into the Wii's appearance.

GB's GameCube Favorites:
-Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (Top contender for favorite game of all time)
-Skies of Arcadia Legends (Another contender)
-Super Smash Brothers Melee
-Mortal Kombat Deception
-Animal Crossing
-Kirby Air Ride
-Super Mario Sunshine
-Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee
-Mario Kart: Double Dash
-Sonic Adventure 2 Battle
-Sonic Mega Collection (Highly recommended if you don't have a Genesis)
-Lego Star Wars 2

Gaming Retrospective (Part 4)

Shortly after getting the Game Boy Color (or perhaps before - my memory is extremely fuzzy on this point), my family also got a Nintendo 64 (OH MY GOOOOD). Now that I think about it, it was probably the fall before we got the Game Boy Color - so, Fall 2000. Anyway, it was very late in the N64's lifespan, so we were able to buy it pretty cheaply. My brother and I had saved up money together for it, and we each got to pick out a game to go with the system. My brother's choice was Bio Freaks, a pretty crappy Mortal Kombat ripoff (but it was made by Midway, so I don't know why it wasn't just another installment of Mortal Kombat). My pick was the complete opposite - Kirby 64. In retrospect, Kirby was a great first N64 game because of the 2D controls - it helped ease me into 3D gaming and the insanity that is the N64 controller.

The majority of our N64 games were rentals, not purchases - we didn't have much money to spare on gaming at this time. We picked up a few more games here and there, mostly lesser-known ones, while all the big names in N64 were rental-only, like Pokemon Stadium, Mario 64, Mario Kart, and the two Banjo-Kazooie games.

One day we visited our rental store to find they were offering a game I'd never seen before. It was called Paper Mario. Intrigued, we checked it out. And I could not stop playing. I had never played an RPG that wasn't Pokemon at this point, and Paper Mario's length and epic feel blew me away. We wound up keeping the game for nearly a week (you were supposed to return game rentals two days after paying) because I had to see the end, and I did. The whole thing was spectacular and cemented Paper Mario as one of my all-time favorite games. I love everything about it - the gameplay, the music, the art style, the dialogue, the atmosphere, it's all amazing and I love it to pieces.

In direct contrast to the N64 and Game Boy, we got right on the GBA train when that came out. Well, almost - my brother has a birthday in August, and we were going to give him a GBA with Super Mario Advance, but although we found the game, we didn't find the system! They were simply out of stock. Rather than hold onto Mario Advance until the system was available, my mom opted to return it. That Christmas we each got a GBA and a game: I got a white one with Mario Kart Super Circuit, and my brother got a purply see-through one with Earthworm Jim. Neither game made much of an impression on me, and it wasn't until Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire released that I really got into the GBA. The best times of the GBA's life for me were actually well after I'd replaced it with a DS, as a number of GBA games came into my possession for cheap as the system began to die out. Even as recently as 2010 I found new-to-me GBA games I liked, like Drill Dozer.

GB's Nintendo 64 Favorites:
Paper Mario
Banjo-Kazooie
Banjo-Tooie
Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards
Pokemon Stadium 1 and 2
Mario Kart 64
Super Mario 64
Space Station Silicon Valley

GB's Game Boy Advance Favorites:
Pokemon RSE
Pokemon FRLG
Final Fantasy I (Dawn of Souls)
Final Fantasy IV
Super Mario Advance series
Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland
Kirby and the Amazing Mirror
Metroid Zero Mission
WarioWare: Mega Microgames
Drill Dozer

Four Awesome Halloween Decorations

Halloween is my second-favorite holiday, only losing out to Christmas. Both were truly magical times of the year for me when I was a child. Now they aren't quite as awe-inspiring, but they are still great changes in atmosphere and an excuse for spooky things/presents.

One of my favorite aspects of Halloween was decorating. It was always great seeing the house transform into a gallery of rubber spiders and fiberglass pumpkins.

Here are four Halloween decorations that were among the most beloved of my childhood.

The Jointed Skeleton: Simultaneously super cheap and super noticeable, the jointed skeleton is a great way to decorate your wall on a budget. They're like what you'd get if you crossed an action figure with a poster. I always loved the decorations that could be played with and not just looked at.

My family has several jointed skeletons in the Halloween storage box, including one that looks pretty much the same as the one above and another one that's plastic and glows in the dark, but the jointed skeleton that has the most fond memories, and the one we've had the longest, is a truly unique and interesting one. At five feet high, he's easily the largest. His bones are tinted green, and he has a cartoony look to him. Most notably, his body is crawling with insects, rodents, tiny ghosts, and a few other critters, running the gamut from realistic to silly-looking. He's a rare breed, and although this decoration is made of paper and probably as old as I am, he's still kicking, albeit a little bent.

The Plastic Light-Up Pumpkin: This is my absolute favorite Halloween decoration. Every year, the green jointed skeleton and the light-up pumpkin, those were my Halloween bros. In my elementary school days, the pumpkin replaced my traditional night-light for October, and I loved it. It was things like this that ensured the holiday was special.

In recent years, my pumpkin has sadly not been treated right. A mishap while we were moving in 2006 caused him to get a nasty dent, and it has yet to be repaired. We could always buy another because they are miraculously still making these after twenty years, but it wouldn't be the same.

The Pumpkin Tower: While the skeleton and pumpkin were present from my earliest Halloween memories, I recall this pumpkin tower coming a bit later, around fourth grade. Essentially the light-up pumpkin's darker and edgier brother, the pumpkin tower features six jack-o-lanterns in a great variety of expressions. Cheerful, goofy, sinister, and even a sarcastic-looking pumpkin are all represented, and there's an even ratio of nosed to noseless faces. As a kid, I always carved my pumpkins to look like the fourth one up - angry, toothy, and a little bit scary.

The Halloween McNuggets: And here's the unconventional entry! This old McDonald's promotion gave my family some neat decorations to go with my Happy Meal. We had the Frankenstein, the pumpkin, the vampire, and the witch, plus a fifth one not pictured here - a punk-rocker-type with neon green hair and a leather jacket. Like Mr. Potato Head, there was a lot of potential for mix-and-match costumes, so you'd get the sinister Dracula nugget wearing the witch robe and pumpkin hat. Despite the potential for lost pieces, the set stayed intact for a shockingly long time, and even now I'm pretty sure we still have most of the parts.

Mother Nature knows no mercy.

Just got done watching this movie called "The Besieged Fortress" I picked up as one of my birthday presents (basically I was given a hundred bucks and told "go nuts"). If you like Zoofights, and if you're reading this blog you probably do, I recommend this film. The Besieged Fortress is basically a cross between a nature documentary and an action film. It's real life but with an emphasis on the dramatic.

The basic plot follows the numerous trials of an African termite colony as they attempt to fend off natural disasters and invading ant hordes. The cast includes the termite colony, three different species of ants, and a number of "cameo" animals like a snake, a tarantula, a vulture, and a chameleon. A praying mantis makes an appearance at the film's start along with a scorpion and the chameleon to attack the winged "prince" and "princess" termites who are meant to breed and start new colonies. Surviving princes and princesses begin constructing their fortress and become king and queen. Eventually, there are millions of termites and the queen has become a massive bloated immobile egg-laying machine.

Everything starts going to shit when a lightning bolt strikes a nearby tree, which topples and damages the termite stronghold. Dust kicks up in the colony, followed by mudslides when it begins to rain. The queen only barely survives, and no sooner have the termites started to recover than the driver ants arrive.

Driver ants are the film's main antagonists, effortlessly bulldozing through every animal in their path as they roam in search of food. When the ant queen picks up the scent of termites, she directs her army into battle, leading to the film's climax as the two armies wage war.

It's not a really hardcore "educational" documentary, but you're going to come away knowing a lot more about driver ants and termites and their societies, and you'll probably have a new respect for insects after seeing what they're capable of.

Gaming Retrospective (Part 3)

So there I was, a fourth-grader, staring at a Charmander card and wondering just what the heck the big deal was. That's right - at first, I didn't "get" Pokemon. But I was kind of curious. I collected a few more cards by bumming them off people who had duplicates. I even remember which ones I got: Machoke, Magikarp, Ponyta, and Magnemite, in addition to the Charmander.

My next step into Pokemon fandom was through a book order. You know book orders, right? Those six-to-eight-page Scholastic-sponsored catalogs full of wondrous books to buy that were handed out every so often in elementary school? I loved the crap out of those things when I was a kid, and even when I moved on to the higher grades and they weren't offered any more, I ordered a few books from my younger brother's book orders. Anyway, right around the time I got my first cards, a book order was handed out, and there it was: "The Official Pokemon Handbook". I went for it, and after I got the book, I was IN. My earlier confusion washed away like so much allowance money as I realized "holy shit I must catch them all". And what added to it was the Handbook's introduction, which stated that Trainers start at the age of ten. OH MY GOD, I WAS TEN!! IT MUST BE DESTINY.

So I collected the cards, I had the handbook, I bought the toys, and I caught the occasional episode of the cartoon, which I only ever saw on Channel 98 or something on my TV, it was really weird because our channels only went up to 64 or so, then we skip over the next thirty and BAM Kids WB. I have no idea. So I had all that and I'd heard the whole thing had its roots in video games. My family visited the house of one of my mom's old college friends, and her two daughters were also into Pokemon (they also had a Genesis and let us borrow Ghouls and Ghosts for a while!). They had an old-school murky-green-screen Game Boy with Pokemon Blue (or possibly Red, I no longer remember). I tried it out with a new file, making sure to follow their special instructions to not save. I remember making it all the way to Mt. Moon. I had never played one of these newfangled "role playing games" before, but I was intrigued, although I remember being a little intimidated by the game mechanics since they were so drastically different to my beloved platformers and fighting games.

But for a while I did not have a Game Boy of my own. It wasn't until the fall of 2000 that something clicked. I had my latest issue of Nickelodeon Magazine and was flipping through it... and then, I saw it.

I stared for a good several minutes at this ad, including rereading it by slowly panning down the page while humming Also Sprach Zarathustra. You only think I'm kidding. I knew there were going to be more Pokemon thanks to the movie and Misty always carrying around that goddamn enigma Togepi, but this drove home the fact that there were going to be new Pokemon, in new Pokemon games. New new new.

Nintendon't my ass.

For whatever reason, probably because it was so close to my birthday, I didn't get the Game Boy Color until Christmas. I remember it well - I'd gone through all my presents but one. I unwrapped it and discovered to my joy that it was a purple Game Boy Color. But then, a terrible thought crossed my mind as I recalled my mom possibly making a horrible error and forgetting that you need to buy games separately (since the Genesis and Game Gear both had pack-in games while the Game Boy did not, you see). I looked at her and said "But Mom, if you don't buy a game to go with it, it won't work."

And then she goes and reaches into the Christmas tree's branches and pulls out another present. Oh hey, it's Pokemon Gold. Here y'go, son. :smug:

I spent all day playing that bastard. ALL DAY. I picked Totodile, kept him from evolving a bit with the Everstone before eventually relenting, and I made it to Goldenrod City before having to go to bed. The next several months were full of more Pokemon action, and I bought a copy of Red later on.

Ah, childhood.

GB's Game Boy Favorites:
Pokemon GSC
Pokemon RBY
Pokemon Trading Card Game
Wario Land II
Kirby's Dreamland
Game Boy Camera

Gaming Retrospective (Part 2)

Before I answer the big question as to what got me to pick out a fancy new video game system at the end of the nineties, I need to touch on two minor systems that came into my life earlier in that decade.

In third grade, I was approached by my second-grade teacher. She had some very old computers she had to get rid of, because the school was replacing them, and wanted to know if I would like one. BOY WOULD I! The "computer" turned out to be a Commodore 64, and for the two years or so I had it before it stopped working I wiled away many an hour on its interesting library of giant floppy discs. Memory is fuzzy enough to not warrant a full list of recommended games, but I recall liking Choplifter and Boulderdash and totally failing at Donkey Kong and Impossible Mission. My favorite game, though, was Pooyan, an ancient Konami title that involved a family of pigs shooting arrows to pop the balloons of foxes and keep them from reaching the pigs' house.

Around this same general time period, I also received my first "portable" system for Christmas - a Sega Game Gear with Super Columns, a puzzle game. This was the first "dud" system, as it cost a stupid amount of money and didn't offer too much in return. However, the Game Gear did eventually find a niche - I later got Pac-Man and a collection called "Arcade Classics" for it (Centipede, Missile Command, and Pong), and my mom wound up playing it regularly in the early 2000's. It was pretty much "her" system at that point. I won't be recommending Game Gear games either since I didn't play any that were amazing enough to try and hype up.

Super Columns, by the way, stands out for two reasons in my mind. The first is that for a long time it stood as the only video game in the house that my mom had beaten but neither me nor my brother had. That changed last year when I fired up the old Game Gear one more time and took that thing down. The other reason is the first guy in story mode. His opening quote is "I have orders not to let you pass but play me for the privilege." WHAT A SMUG LITTLE SHIT.

Okay, back to the late nineties. The Game Gear was a bust, the Commodore may or may not have still been working. I was at school one day and I see some kids standing off to one side looking at trading cards. "Hey guys, what are you doing?" Then one kid takes pity on me for not knowing and gives me one of his duplicate trading cards.

...What is this thing you call "Charmander"?

Gaming Retrospective (Part 1)

Let's take a look into my childhood... specifically, the birth of my hobby of video games. Video games have in large part shaped a lot of my online behavior, directing me to certain sites and learning certain things. Who knows what I might have done had I taken a different path, played different games on different systems, or not played at all?

My first video game system was an Atari 2600. This ancient wood-paneled box is basically an antique nowadays, and it's a good deal older than I am. I have some foggy memories of playing it as a toddler of about three years old. We had Pac-Man and Circus Atari, but the one I always played was Space Invaders. I claim that Space Invaders was my first ever video game, and even if it wasn't it was the one that made me love video games. It's funny, though - we definitely had an Atari 2600, but the original arcade version resonates with me better than the Atari 2600 version, which has drastically different-looking graphics. I'll chalk it up to weird childhood memory blurriness.

So anyway, one fine day my little toddler self is blasting some aliens when the unthinkable happens - the system shuts down. To this day I don't know what happened, but the Atari broke somehow. My best guess is that it got clogged with dust or something, and back then my family didn't know how to clean a video game system. The Atari never worked again, and being four years old I bawled my eyes out. But there was a solution - I was going to get a new video game system as a birthday present, because fortunately my birthday was only a few weeks away when the Atari gave up the ghost.

My parents didn't know about any hot new games that everyone was buzzing about those days, so they met with my (significantly older than me) cousins and asked "What's the best video game system available?" They answered Sega Genesis.

Now, the Genesis and me, we were tight. I loved the crap out of that thing from the moment I got it. It came into my possession on my fifth birthday with Sonic the Hedgehog 2 as a pack-in title. Also, in a great moment of derp, my dad added a second game to the package: Davis Cup Tennis. Thus began my long and proud history of not giving a crap about sports games.

Not long after getting the Genesis, it was determined that we needed more games. My mother and I headed off to Ames, a now-sadly-defunct department store chain, and picked up three new games: Super Street Fighter 2, Ms. Pac-Man, and Chuck Rock II: Son of Chuck. A while later, game six - Socket - was added. Fortunately (considering the high price of video games even back then), all four became classics in my home, and my mom was able to join in for the first two. I have fond memories of watching my mom and dad slug it out in Street Fighter, and she loved Ms. Pac-Man so much that she regularly played it by herself. In a way, she also helped in Chuck Rock II - there's a button-mashing minigame about five levels in, and I always had her try it because I was terrible at button-mashing.

The Sega Genesis remained top dog in my home for a long time. It helped that as late as 1998 new Genesis games were being made and old ones still had room on retail shelves. I added to my collection right up until 1999 or so, and just as the Genesis finally began to fade, there was one thing that drove me to get a new video game system. You may be able to figure it out, but I'll elaborate next time when I continue this gaming retrospective.

For all of my systems I'll give some recommendations of some favorite games of mine. I'll be mixing it up a little with both classic popular games and some lesser-known ones that I found deserved more attention.

GB's Genesis Favorites:
Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Sonic 3 and Knuckles
Streets of Rage 2
Super Street Fighter 2: The New Challengers
Toejam and Earl
Contra: Hard Corps
VectorMan
Chuck Rock and Chuck Rock II
Socket

Plushies!

Ah, plush toys. While many people have them, my collection trends a bit towards the... unconventional.

1: Garfield plushies aren't weird! One of the first series of any sort that I grew to love was Garfield, when I was just three years old. I'll probably deliver a proper tribute to the fat cat in a later post.

2: Sharks are pretty common animals in plush form despite not being particularly cute animals. They're pretty easy to make cute, though!

3: There's this shop near where I live that may warrant a post at some point, but in a nutshell it's a very "folksy" sort of novelty/gift store with things like candles, fabrics, and fancy-schmancy brand toys. Everything is hilariously overpriced so I don't know how they're still in business in this economy, but anyway. They had a major sale last year and I was able to buy the black spider and green snake for a small fraction of their usual price.

4: Giant microbes! I have the Brain Cell and Daphnia.

5: The yellow thing with swirly eyes is Kururu (Kululu) from Sgt. Frog/Keroro Gunso, a comedy manga about alien frogs doing a really, really shitty job of taking over the world (doesn't help that one of their number is distracted by a HOT ASS). It's the only manga I've ever "gotten into", although I've fallen way behind (only up to volume nine. I think they're on, like, twenty or something). This may be another future blog post.

6: Look in the bottom right corner and you'll spot the stuffed walrus I used to make my Berlin Walrus mockup back in May.

7: Bulbasaur and Jigglypuff!

8: Sideways Turtle only cost a quarter at a yard sale last year.

The Best Laid Plans of Mantids and Men

I hope poor Zephyrus recovers from his memory loss soon. There was something special I'd wanted to do...

On a different note, and to make this post a little longer than one sentence, I've done a few posts now building up towards a certain date next week. Anyone figured out why yet?

Insect Photography

I've mentioned it a couple times, but I love nature. I really do. I'm fascinated by the animal kingdom and its many strange ways. I am especially drawn to a lot of the less "popular" animals - insects, fish, reptiles, and other invertebrates. My favorite animal, by the way, is the octopus. You may have been expecting praying mantis, but no - they're right near the top, but not my favorite. Regardless, insects and the other land-living arthropods (spiders, centipedes, etc) have always been favorites of mine because of their small size and abundance.

Here are some photos I've taken of insects over the last couple years.

Japanese beetles are an invasive pest species that strip plants in great numbers. They've been a bit less common around here in recent years, but there's still plenty to go around in the second half of summer.

This critter is a type of stinkbug. Stinkbugs are beetles best known for their noxious odor, hence the name. I've encountered stinkbugs several times but never been attacked by their smelly spray, luckily enough. They like to show up in fall.

Crane flies are strange animals - how did evolution decide that this was a good idea? I'm still not sure, myself, but something about these long-legged, ungainly, poor flyers with no working mouthparts is a success because I see plenty of them every August.

The other pics here are all a year or three old, but this one was shot just two weeks ago. It is, of course, a bumblebee. Bumblebees are simultaneously cute and intimidating - they can sting multiple times since their stingers don't have barbs, but if you leave them alone they're generally happy campers and won't try to fight you.

Just a few moments after photographing the above bee, this wasp flew in to visit the same plant. It was a lot more active than the bee, so I was lucky to get a shot this nice.

Out of all my insect photos, this is the one I'm proudest of. This butterfly wasn't feeling too well and so I was able to get a spectacular shot of it by picking it up and letting it sit on these flowers. Later the weather warmed up enough for it to fly away.

Rivalry Rumble?!

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband because here comes video game website GameFAQs with another one of their popularity contests!

Since 2002, GameFAQs has run one or two of these things a year - winner-take-all popularity polls between brackets full of video game characters or games themselves. This year's event is the Rivalry Rumble - 64 teams of two characters, and each team is a "rivalry". Friendly and unfriendly rivalries alike are included.

The contest starts November 2, but until then people can go through the bracket and predict who they think will win each match. Best predictors win prizes, so if you've got a GameFAQs account, give it a whirl.

Here's some of the notable rivalries that will be competing!

Mario and Bowser: When it comes to hero/villain rivalries, this has always been a top one for me. In a lot of Mario games it's a pretty simple good guy/bad guy thing, but there's a notable exception: the Mario RPGs, especially the Paper Mario series (my favorite game series of all time, by the way). In Paper Mario and its sequels, Bowser is given a great deal of characterization, becoming a truly likable and well-rounded character in comparison to the one-dimensional endboss he was in the NES days. This is one rivalry I wouldn't mind seeing go all the way.

Kirby and Meta Knight: I think Kirby and King Dedede might have been the better choice for a straight-up "rivalry" (especially considering Brawl in the Family, heh), but this is still a strong pairing. Also, looking at previous GameFAQs character contests, Meta Knight is more popular than Dedede, helping to boost the tag-team's strength. Their bracket placement is interesting - they could go out in round 1 to the Resident Evil tag-team of Jill Valentine and Nemesis, or they could make it all the way to Mario and Bowser. I'm predicting they'll pass one round but not two.

Sonic the Hedgehog and Dr. Robotnik: One of the ultimate rivalries in video gaming, at least back in the 90s when Sonic was beloved. Some people on GameFAQs were wishing that Sonic had paired up with Knuckles or Mario instead. I think this is a good rivalry, though, and unless Kirby does something amazing he's on a crash course to face Mario in the Sweet 16.

Sub-Zero and Scorpion: Niiiice! Here's a rivalry that treats both characters as roughly equals. Both sides have fans and both can be seen as the "good guy" depending on how you look at it. I've always loved the Mortal Kombat ninjas. I've predicted for them to win twice, although they could possibly go even farther if they really apply some REAL ULTIMATE POWER.

Pokemon Trainer Red and Pokemon Trainer Blue: If there was any justice, this pairing would win the contest, or at least make the finals. When you think "video game rivalry", you probably think Pokemon Red and Blue. "Gary" is in your face the whole game, battling you a total of eight times with a team that goes from nothing to a squad of six juggernauts, just like you. And at the end of the game, you defeat Lance and you think it's all over, but no - BLUE GOT THERE FIRST. The "Champion after Elite Four" thing is so obvious nowadays that newer Pokemon games don't even pretend it's a surprise, but back in the day this probably caught some folks off guard. Any way you slice it, this was an awesome rivalry, and I hope it does well.

Link and Ganondorf: The smart money on winning the whole shebang is on these guys. If you're not familiar with GameFAQs contests, here's a quick tip: Link is revered like a god. He has won more contests than every other character combined. Last year they held a bonus poll on Christmas Eve - Link vs. Santa. Link won. He beat Santa on Christmas Eve. Gah. And Ganondorf, while nowhere near as popular, has done well for himself in the past. I have pegged these two to win, even though it's a pretty dull rivalry and I never saw what was so great about the Zelda series.

Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth: I take back the Red/Blue thing, this is the best rivalry in gaming. The Ace Attorney series is one of my favorites, and the superb writing and character development makes these two some of the most lovable and fascinating characters around even if you don't ship them with each other as some are wont to do. They even snagged a 1-seed! However, I doubt they'll win their division, let alone the contest. I selected for them to win a single match, but I hope they can win more.

Ramza and Delita: I've never played Final Fantasy Tactics and I don't know who Delita is but I'm backing this pairing anyway because ALEEEEEEX. I hope the idiot hair is visible in the match picture :3

BJ Blazkowicz and Adolf Hitler: Thank you, Wolfenstein 3D. This contest is the first GameFAQs contest to allow "historical characters" in addition to the usual "must have originated in a video game" characters. This gave us three entrants we wouldn't have otherwise: Zeus (paired with Kratos from God of War), Dracula (paired with Alucard from Castlevania), and... Adolf Hitler, who was brought in pretty much just for the sheer novelty of having Adolf Hitler on GameFAQs' front page with an option to vote for him. Will people vote for Hitler? His opponents are Sora and Riku of Kingdom Hearts fame, so I'm doubting it...

I may pick out a few more rivalries to talk about another time.

Cutting Room Floor 2

Here are a few ideas for the FINAL BATTLE that did not make the cut.

1: If Tiamat had escaped, Snapture would have killed her.

2: If Evil Alex had gone on long enough, Sarah would have tried hugging him - probably dying in his arms from his attacks.

And here is a not-quite-finished picture I was going to add to the battle's beginning, but didn't because of lack of time and details like Air Man V2 not appearing at the start.

It Ends Tomorrow

I'm starting to feel a little bit better. I'm still very much sick, but I don't think I'll spend the day fading in and out of delirium and puking mucus into my trashcan. I think I'll even be able to eat and drink a little!

And I NEED to get better because tomorrow is the FINAL BATTLE. I have been given the honor of hosting the last major RP fight this year. It's too bad the Zoofights tournament keeps getting delayed because we have at least two weeks left after this. But oh well - considering I need at least five specific people to all be on at once for this to work, rescheduling would be murder.

You folks better bring your A game because Tiamat here's got a few tricks up her nonexistent sleeves...

Of Sick Mantids

Why have I suddenly decided to have Widow Maker catch a cold in the bar? Why, because I've just gotten one myself. Bleck.

You know that feeling of impending doom you get when your throat starts feeling a little scratchy? Food and drink isn't going down as easily. Your nose runs a little. You're not fully sick, but you know that it's already started and there is absolutely nothing on Elohim's green earth that will keep you from falling headfirst into it? I had that feeling last night.

I hate that feeling.

I own a plastic snail.

I would never lie to you. Certainly not about something this important.

Gezora welcomes you!

Gezora is master of all it surveys.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find Gezora toys? There are a number of them out there, but almost all are stupidly expensive. This little toy was a mere five dollars with free shipping, so I snatched it up. Got lucky there, too - I see people on eBay trying to peddle this tiny plastic toy for twenty dollars. Completely unacceptable. No three-inch toy is worth that much.

Pity the tip of one arm came off, though. I have no idea how it happened - I just picked him up one day and saw he was damaged.

Gezora is aware it has a damaged arm. Gezora asks that you not worry, as it is not painful.

When it comes to Godzilla toys, you got two main camps - the Bandai crowd and the Bullmark crowd. The former toys are liked for their close resemblance to the movie monsters they emulate, while Bullmark toys are often wildly inaccurate with four-legged monsters standing on two legs and monsters that are supposed to be brown getting colored neon yellow with pink highlights instead. I love Bandai toys and loathe Bullmark, but with Gezora it was Bullmark or bust, and Gezora's inexplicable pink spots are relatively tame in comparison to his mostly-accurate body, so I rolled with it.

Gezora is considering frying up some lobster in celebration of Hardcore Prawn's victory. Gezora wonders if you will join it?

Gezora stands at about three inches in height and has posable arms and head.

Right Back Atcha

What with all the Kirby action in the Zoofights Bar lately, I figure it's time to show off my collection of Kirby merchandise. It's nothing impressive, but I've got a few neat toys.

The majority of my toys are from a Wendy's promotion in 2003. I've always preferred Wendy's to McDonald's, by the way. Burger King doesn't place since there are none where I live, so I've only ever eaten there once or twice. Anyway, the Kirby Wendy's promo was probably my favorite of their toy giveaways (but McDonald's was responsible for my favorite toy promotion EVER - more on that another time). I'm a few toys short of a full set, though. This here's Ice Kirby. He's a pullback toy - just as the name says, you pull the toy back and then let go and watch it scoot across the floor and into somewhere inconvenient.

Here we have Angry American Kirby on Warpstar. The toy is wheeled like Ice Kirby, but it's free-wheeling, like a Hot Wheels car, and does not possess a pullback motor. I have three of these thanks to a duplicate Kids Meal and a yard sale that was selling one for a dime. Why did I buy an Angry American Kirby on a Warpstar when I already had two? Because when Kirby merch is a dime, you don't ask questions.

I didn't get this Cook Kirby toy until I found it at a yard sale well after the end of the promotion. He is a fortune-telling toy similar to a Magic 8-Ball, which is why he's pictured with one here. Push down his spatula and the message in his mouth will spin a bit. Kirby has five different responses. It's a fraction of the variety an 8-Ball offers, but he does the best with what little he was given: "Yes", "No", "Maybe", "Ask Later", and "Zzz". So you have a 2 out of 5 chance of actually getting an answer out of Kirby.

Another quirk of this toy is that since it's lever-operated, you can, with a little practice, game the system so Kirby gives you the same answer every time. So if you ever wanted to force your wishes to come true, here's your ticket to chocolate fountains and gorillions of dollars.

Sarah is showing off the next toy, which is actually from a Burger King promotion, not Wendy's. It's also a year older than the others. This promotion was a sort of Nintendo All-Stars/Super Smash Brothers deal, and this was Kirby's sole entry in the lineup. Pressing the star lever on the front acts like a pinball flipper of sorts, sending little red pellets flying about. The idea, of course, is to feed Kirby. For added difficulty, wind up the toy with that knob on the side and Kirby will start twisting left-to-right, creating a moving target.

And lastly, by far the priciest of my Kirby toys is this quality plush from Banpresto. In addition to looking cute, he can also work as a makeshift pillow and iPod stand.

Oh, that's right. Kirby's got games, too. Here's my list of Kirby games:

-Kirby's Dreamland
-Kirby's Pinball Land
-Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards (My first Kirby game!)
-Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland
-Kirby and the Amazing Mirror
-Kirby Air Ride
-Kirby Canvas Curse
-Kirby Squeak Squad
-Kirby Super Star Ultra
-Kirby's Dreamland 3 (on Wii Virtual Console)

That about wraps it up. I wonder if I'll ever find the other Kirby fast food toys at yard sales...

Cutting Room Floor

Over the course of the last summer, I've drawn many a picture in MS Paint for my characters, especially Widow Maker and Sarah. Since one can never anticipate for sure what will happen when RPing, a few drawings I've made went unused - all of them featuring Sarah. Here they are, for better or worse.

This evil white mage came about from a boredom-fueled drawing session. Is it Sarah? A doppelganger? One of her sisters? Who knows, because I never got that far! At one point I think I considered having Tiamat kidnap Sarah and her sisters and use them as a lure to get the Warriors of Light to the Flying Fortress, and they would be attacked by a possessed Sarah and try to come up with a way to free her without hurting her too badly.

Here is the problem with using a lot of pictures to show expressions in your RPing - when your character gets a new accessory, you have to acknowledge or handwave it. I had considered adding Sarah's locket to all her standard poses, but opted to have her keep it tucked away in her robe instead as I wasn't pleased with the result and didn't think it was worth the work.

Nothing special here, just the old idiot hair poking gif but faster.

Turns out Sarah never drank one of Hella Jeff's drinks (Bimp or Sweet Vermouth and Hella Gin).

"DUFES, has anennyone sene alex around anywear"
"FUCK I'M EATING ALL THESE BLACK LEGENDS"

Skeiron's Joke Book

Q: Why did the plane crash?
A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why did the television show fail?
A:Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why didn't the stove work correctly?
A: Because the pilot light was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why did the police eat the criminal accused of illegally downloading films onto his computer?
A: Because the pirate was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why couldn't the baker do his exercises?

A: Because the Pilates was a loaf of bread.

Q: An enormous store that sells school and office supplies has several parking areas named after common math terms. Unfortunately, one of these areas was devoured by birds. Why?
A: Because the Pi lot was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why couldn't the Pokemon trainer evolve his Pokemon?
A: Because the Wynaut was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why was the floral shop customer dissatisfied with their bouquet?
A: Because the violet was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why couldn't the dress properly fasten?
A: Because the eyelet was a loaf of bread.

Sarah is so fat, when she lies around the house, the pilot was a loaf of bread!

Q: Why couldn't the statistician get his presentation done?

A: Because the pie chart was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why didn't Alex get a good night's sleep?

A: Because the pillow was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why was the new bathroom a failure?
A: Because the toilet was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why was the pilot a loaf of bread?
A: Because the plane crashed.

Q: Why did WarMech fall in love with Sine at the bakery?

A: Because her new life was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why was the toast able to fly planes?

A: Because the loaf of bread was a pilot.

Q: Why did the WarMech win the fight?

A: Because the Mecha Dragon was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why did the video game programmer experience difficulty in coding his latest cartridge?
A: Because the 8 bits were a loaf of bread.

Q: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why was the business venture successful?
A: Because the competition was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why was the wine-maker a hit at the bake sale?
A: Because the pinot was a loaf of bread!

Q: Why was the amateur computer animator dissatisfied with his choice of program?
A: Because the Pivot was a loaf of bread.

The Lord is a loaf of bread.

Q: Why was this unit's wedding gift delicious?
A: Because the present was a loaf of banana bread.

Jokes in purple are courtesy of Gentleman Draco.
Jokes in red courtesy of RedSpy.
Joke in orange courtesy of Cornwind Evil.

Vinyl figures. Vinyl figures everywhere.

Some people collect coins. Some people collect stamps. I have had several collections over the years, including plastic dinosaurs and (like every child at the turn of the century) Pokemon cards.

But for the last couple years I've mostly been rounding up vinyl action figures of giant monsters.

(click the photo for a larger view)

This picture is slightly out of date - There are several toys I have gotten since this photo, and a couple of the tiny ones at the bottom I have sold on eBay. There are also several small toys that were left out because they are on a little shelf on the other side of my room.

There are toys from the Gamera and Ultraman series, but for the most part it's Godzilla Central. I've been collecting since January 2008, and lately new arrivals have trickled to a standstill because A) I don't have the money, B) I'm not the sort of person to drop 300 bucks on a seven-inch-tall Biollante even if I WAS blessed with a gorillion dollars, and C) I've gotten pretty much all the lower-cost merch I can find.

Also I'm kinda running out of room.

I may go into detail about some of these guys in later posts.

God DAMMMMMMMNNNNNN

You know what I hate?

SEASONAL. ALLERGIES.

Okay, for those who don't know, if you have "seasonal allergies", that means Mother Nature basically has a free pass to fuck with you whenever it wants and there's nothing you can do about it, usually in fall and spring. "Oh hello there GB, were you planning something today? Well, you can still do it, only you're going to have watery eyes and a runny nose all day kthxbye." And, of course, allergy medicine works roughly 25% of the time. Usually (like TODAY) I take a pill and all that happens is I'm out one pill.

All of my hate.

RP Retrospective (Part 2)

Okay, let's finish up the look back at the characters I assumed roles for this past summer.

THE NECRONOMITRON
Now THIS was interesting to do. While Widow Maker was in the hospital, Sine Cosine gave her an unidentified package as a gift. With no description, I was free to make up what the contents were. I thought of several potential items, mostly weapons and such, but settled on a mysterious book with an emblem on the front that looked suspiciously like a certain Martian's eye...

The Necronomitron was the Loser's League incarnation of Zoofights III's Martian, but it was dropped from the roster and never mentioned again. With the passing of not only two more tournaments but also a universe reboot thanks to Croctopus, it was clear that this potential plot thread would never be picked up, so I came up with my own design for the Necronomitron - a possessed book with the Martian's tentacles. Since he was Brother Chucked in the official tournament, his personality was jealous, revenge-seeking, and tortured at his unfair elimination (he actually won his Round 1 fight but was sent to the Loser's League anyway). The result was a tragic sort of villain who had some good points about his frustrations, but he was going to go a little too far in getting his revenge.

My plan was to keep him in the shadows for a long time, and he would return at the climax of the tournament for an exciting fight. However, two things interfered. The first was Air Man's challenge to fight Necro in a Fite Yer Mates match, which forced him out of hiding much earlier than intended. The second was the RP Explosion - even if the Martian had been left alone, the plots soon went far beyond his scope, making him hardly a blip on the radar compared to some other peoples' villains.

And then the Martian lost his fight, which led to Air Man's survival and the Martian's Heel Face Turn, making him a heroic guardian who wound up sacrificing his life to keep the bar safe, only to merge with his pet Biollante in one of my stranger ideas. It was the first of several reformed villains I would be using...

THE FIVE MANTIS BAND
I like to use the things I win in bets at the Betting Corner. Although I don't always find a use for everything, other things see considerable action, such as the Supermarine Walrus plane, Sarah's shutter shades, and some of my unclaimed bets like the Golden Game Brute and Commodore 64. Widow Maker won five normal-sized, instrument-playing mantids from Jumpropeman after Neuromantis beat Cash Cow, and they became fringe joke characters that make an appearance every so often, usually to play a song. They haven't done much in recent weeks, but they're in talks to play at a certain ninja wedding...

CELESTIA
The Warriors of Light plot, like so many other things in RP-land, has grown much larger than my original vision for it. The original plan was for Sarah to find the four Warriors of Light and give them their crystals, then hold off a fleet of WarMechs before going to the Flying Fortress to defeat Tiamat and take home a ton of treasure. Then I considered making the final fight more exciting by including the other Fiends. And THEN they started attacking the bar separately, and now Tiamat is assembling minions from other people's plots and now it's four plots in one and the Tiamat battle is going to be the Bar's final boss. I just need to find the right day to do it.

Wait, none of this is about Celestia.

Celestia (Sarah's mother) got her start as a minion of Tiamat's. Her first mention was in a photo album of Sarah's - a black mage appears in some of the pictures, but is absent in all the more recent ones. My original implication was that she had died, but I left it ambiguous. Later, while looking up WarMech pictures, I found one that appeared to have a cockpit. Intrigued by the idea of a giant manned WarMech leading the others, I brought it into the story and decided to have Sarah's mother drive it. It was my intention from the start that she would survive and Heel Face Turn, making her the second reformed villain of mine.

Celestia is a pretty fun and diverse character to write for. Her experience with the WarMechs makes her a mechanical genius, and I like having my characters be capable of helping others in unique ways. Her motherly demeanor opens up possibilities for all sorts of pleasant mommy things and allowed her to befriend Little Walter. And, just like her daughter, every so often she winds up drunk...

SKEIRON
Another "happy accident", Skeiron is one of Celestia's WarMechs. He arose from a simple gag wherein one of her generic robots, WarMech-3, was aware of the fact that it was a doomed mook and was therefore trying to get in some memorable one-liners before getting killed and forgotten about. RedSpy mentioned he thought it was funny, and then... "Can we keep him?"

I used WM3 a few more times leading up to the match, showing that he wasn't interested in fighting. His pacifism saved him in the fight, when he was the only WarMech to survive. But then Cornwind Evil decided to kill him off instead, having Devastator stomp him to smithereens during the six-hour Lord marathon. I considered keeping him dead, since I was already managing three characters at once, but I opted to revive him a few days later, and he now shows up occasionally. The robot became a comedy character with the principal gimmicks of robospeak, not understanding popular culture but quoting it anyway, and (the crowd favorite) making as many jokes as possible despite only knowing one punchline. Much later he acquired the name Skeiron to reflect his fondness for Zephyrus, the only bar character to have really befriended him.

Annnnd this post is even longer than the last. Derp.

RP Retrospective (Part 1)

Okay, similar to what a few other people have done, I'm going to go over all of my RP characters and reflect on how they arrived and developed.

WIDOW MAKER
Originally, the wisecracking genre-savvy praying mantis was supposed to be my only character. And for four weeks, she was. But then, tragedy struck at Zoofights - Playing Mantis was defeated by Cray Fish by a single vote. Losing such a loved competitor by such a razor-thin margin, on top of having lost every single fight up to that point, was too much for Widow Maker, and she collapsed from a heart attack. With my character in the hospital, it was time to bring in...

HELLA JEFF
Hey, dufes. While his novelty wore off fairly quickly, for the fight between the Manglin' Pangolins and the Hippos With An Eating Disorder, Jeff here was a blast to write for. It was basically a game of "how many SBAHJ references can I cram into each post?". Jeff was selected because, since the intelligent Widow Maker had a 0/4 record for voting, she opted to bring in the stupidest character she could find as a replacement. Eventually, by the seventh fight of round 1, I switched back to Widow Maker and relegated Jeff to the occasional cameo.

SARAH
Oh my word, what the hell happened here. Widow Maker was tended to in the hospital by four white mages (the classic one-liner, "Four white mages? It'll never work!" being the entire reasoning). But it really started with "Fite Yer Mates", the RP game that pitted our characters against each other as if it was a mini-Zoofight. After a brutal tag-team match that left even the winners in poor shape, I brought in the white mages to heal their wounds. One of them, "White Mage 3", stuck around afterwards and became a sort of tagalong to Widow Maker. That was going to be the end of it - a two-character tag team, Widow Maker being the snarky veteran while White Mage was innocent and naive of the carnage. This lasted for one fight - Achilles Eel vs. Teslacorn.

Then Alex showed up and things started to get crazy.

The knight/janitor had always been there, but posts were infrequent and Alex's avatar was an old sprite. But when signups for the 18-way Fite Yer Mates Big Bar Brawl were going on, Jumpropeman (Fite organizer) requested full-body pictures of everyone for drawing references, so Alex goes and posts a picture of Ramza from Final Fantasy Tactics. I was unsure of who to vote for in the brawl, so I had White Mage 3 start crushing on him. Then Alex caught me off guard when he asked for a name to properly thank her by. I managed to come up with "Sarah". Over the next few days the two of them fell in love, forming the first (and what I naively thought would be the only) bar pairing.

The one thing that I planned for that has actually panned out regarding Sarah is the cuteness. I thought it would be amusing to have an incredibly adorable character in Zoofights, and she's actually gotten cuter with each new development. She's a tiny, happy-go-lucky, lovey-dovey little blob of goo in a robe, and I've been able to do a lot of enjoyable things with her. I also enjoy when she gets mad, because that's when I can unleash Angry Sarah, who is a total badass.

Sarah is by far my most complicated character, so I can see how she's made this post so long. I'll cover my other guys later.

Thanks, Alex.

AlextheJanitor, gonna thank you for three things here.

1: Thanks for helping me get involved in the nonsense that is the Zoofights RP Forum.

2: Thanks for starting this trend of every regular RPer having their own dang blog.

3: And thanks for making me want to play Kirby games again. I'm a little behind on the series and I like to game on a budget, so I'm going to get Epic Yarn for my birthday in a couple weeks.

I don't know how often I'll use this thing, but I have some ideas for what to put here in the future.