As Monster Mash fans no doubt know, Greentech Corporation has partnered with everyone's new favorite animal-battling company to bring you EVEN MORE animal brawls! Greentech is an expert in life reanimation, monster wrangling, and not cringing when witnessing something really gross, so we are a perfect choice to hold THE LOSER'S LEAGUE!
Yes, the Loser's League. Just because six of the twelve monsters competing in Monster Mash were brained, squashed, or fed to giant plants does not mean they're unsalvageable! Our crack team of doctors, surgeons, back-alley quacks, mechanics, roboticists, necromancers, alternative healers, and white mages are hard at work breathing life back into the six beasts that failed to win the first round. Of course, sometimes we get lucky and don't have to do anything to revive a monster. You'll see what I mean soon.
Voting works much the same as in Round 1. State your vote and present your case as to why you think your pick will triumph. The votes will be Tractored and a winner will emerge to move on deeper into the tournament!
Let's meet today's contestants...
IN THE RED CORNER
We expected that there would not be much left of Centurion after that underwater eruption. What we didn't expect was that the underwater volcano would also produce a severely charred but still intact ancient artifact from a long-lost ocean civilization. Said artifact merged with the bones of Centurion, and left us with PRIMUS PILUS the FIRE SKELEDINOSHARK.
+Surrounded by mystical flames that refuse to be extinguished, even in water.
+Can extend the flames to mimic fire breath - except it can be fired from any angle, not just from the mouth.
+Most of the teeth are broken, but bites from this thing are still painful.
+The only way to kill it is by destroying the artifact lodged deep in its' skull.
+It appears to not need water to "live" so it should be able to travel overland.
-Fragile bones.
-Bone loss seems to weaken the monster.
IN THE BLUE CORNER
In contrast, Tiburon's body was more intact, but there weren't any mystical idols around to revive it for us so the Loser's League team actually had to do their jobs. It wasn't too hard to get him back in the land of the living (sort of), but the harder part was what to do to Tiburon to improve his chances in battle.
But suddenly, the guy in charge of plugging the holes, the guy in charge of upgrades, and the janitor all put their heads together and realized there was one way to kill three birds with one stone.
We had to do something with all those giant piranhas, right?
Of course we did. And so ESTAFADOR the ZOMBIE PIRANHA SHARK was born.
+We weren't quite able to fully revive the shark - it's in a zombielike state and feels no pain.
+The piranha are mostly alive, and they are plugged into the wounds of the shark.
+I've been informed the shark is capable of firing the piranha out of its' wounds, although it cannot fire the one we shoved into its' mouth.
+It's still a giant shark, and at 53 feet long it's got ten feet on Primus Pilus.
+Mega Shark is still capable of limited land movement. The piranha are less fortunate.
-While big and powerful, Estafador won't be able to execute any attacks on Primus Pilus without injuring itself or its' piranha unless it uses outside tools, so it's either going to need to show intelligence we don't expect of it or it needs to finish this one in a few blows.
-More heads are not necessarily better than one - Mega Shark is dumber than ever, and the piranha seem limited to basic animal cunning.
THE ARENA
The Great Canadian Aquarium was a wonderful tourist attraction until that faithful day the Sharknado tore through the city and devastated it. It's destroyed anyway, so obtaining a permit to hold this match in was simple enough.
Our competitors will be unleashed on opposite sides of the evacuated but mostly intact aquarium and are expected to duel from one tank to another. Since neither one is technically alive and neither can feel pain, I warn all spectators that this is likely to be one of the most gruesome spectacles ever recorded, and won't end until one nightmare fish's body finally ceases twitching.
It's time to open voting. Go on, sports fans, who will it be? The flaming skeleton with the power of Atlantis, or the zombie shark with an entourage of giant piranha?
Coming soon... THE ALTERCATION IN THE AQUARIUM.
VOTE NOW!
Gotta throw my vote at #Primus Pilus here. The fact that he's on fire alone gives him a massive advantage - Estafador won't be able to grab him without burning himself, and I highly dobut he's smart enough to try and overcome that somehow. That skeleshark will chew him up and spit him out, you mark my words.
ReplyDeleteA monster with fragile bones who only gets weaker over time? #Estafador has this battle of zombies vs. skellingtons in the bag. He can fire piranhas like mortars, a much more potent ranged attack than extending the small flame aura Primus has here. In addition, while Estafador will always be at great strength, Primus weakens as he takes more damage. The war of attrition will leave Esta in peril, but in the end I think he'll take the cake.
ReplyDeleteSure, the possible bloodloss from the piranhas plugged in his wounds could be a problem, but its probably coagulated into a thick mess by now anyway.
AWWW YEAH, SHARKNADOS!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd in a shark based match no less.
As much as I prefer the design of the skeletal shark I can't help but think that #Estafador has the advantage being a zombie and all. Zombies can keep pumping even after they've lost everything but what's left of a central cortex, so it can easily push through the pain to hit the weak spot.
The moment anything is given a weak spot it is bound to be exploited. For zombieshark you still need to break through tough shark skin to do the damage, but with a fire barrier that only needs the determination and pain resistance that Estafador brings to the table to penetrate, those brittle bones are going bye bye.
Love your design pilus, but you are bringing bone marrow to a shark fight, and this shark and his piranha buddies will have no trouble slamming into your skeletal structure
I'm going to have to side with #Pilus on this one. The fire is magical. It's going to torch Estafador. Even if ZOMBIESHARK has tough zombie skin, he's got those big piranha-plugged holes. Launch the piranhas, and you unclog the hole - and then get burnt up from the inside. Pilus is going to have fried zombieshark steaks for dinner tonight.
ReplyDeleteVotes! I'm going to go for #Estafador. He's a zombie! A zombie stuffed with zombie piranha! It's like a party of undead! Also, JRM made a valid point about the pain tolerance - zombies have pain ignorance, and the temperature means nothing to it, althught those lttle piranhas might boil.
ReplyDeleteVOTING IS CLOSED!
ReplyDeleteThanks to everyone who voted! I will try and get this fight up in a week or less.