Grey Knight and Conehead Go to White Castle

A Chatzy compilation of moments from an online playthrough of Castle Crashers.

Grey Knight: RedSpy
Conehead: Gooper Blooper
Royal Guard: Gentleman Draco (present only for Industrial Castle, Lava World, Pirate Ship, Desert, UFO, and Marsh)

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(Grey Knight stands underneath an owl that is relieving itself out of fright)

RedSpy: Owl shower :D
SteelKomodo: Showler

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(A group of unarmed Thief enemies are running away from an unknown attacker. Grey Knight charges after them and tries to kill them before they run offscreen)

Gooper Blooper: spy no theyre running away
RedSpy: NO MERCY FOR THE WEAK
RedSpy: WARPDAMNIT JONESY
TheDeleter: "Don't blame me for your own failures >​=I"

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Harpy joined the chat
Gooper Blooper: hey harpy
RedSpy: Ey Harpy
Harpy: oi
RedSpy: You're just in time for Grey Knight and Conehead Go To White Castle
Harpy: i thought grey knight hated coneheads
Harpy: WHY ARE YOU WORKING WITH THE ENEMY
RedSpy: We're actually on the most confusing level
Gooper Blooper: It looks pretty hilarious really since we're on the wedding level now
RedSpy: Grey Knights Seige Conehead Caslte
RedSpy: So we just keep getting distracted
TheDeleter: Hullo mari
RedSpy: (Also I introduced Goops to wonderful tricks like digging everywhere and the Owl Shower)
Harpy: "most confusing level"
Harpy: more like the level where the cake always saves your life
Gooper Blooper: MY OWN CLONE

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(On the autoscrolling carriage stage, Grey Knight suddenly freezes in mid-jump and becomes unkillable and immobile)

RedSpy: GOOPS HELP
RedSpy: WHAT IS THIS

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Gooper Blooper: what the hell
Gooper Blooper: one of my brother's xbox live friends has an avatar costume
Gooper Blooper: He's Attitude Era Kane
Gooper Blooper: bah gawd kang

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(Our heroes come across an area in the Lava World called 'Volcano Town' that guarantees 'No Active Volcanoes'. Everyone in the town has been killed by a volcanic eruption.)

Gooper Blooper: Draco sells real estate in Volcano Town doesn't he
Draco: Got it cheap at a Fire Sale.

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(The knights have one minute to escape a UFO. Conehead and Royal Guard clear a floor full of vents without much trouble but Grey Knight continuously falls over from the same vents' attack over and over)

Gooper Blooper: SPY

(Time runs out with Grey Knight still in the vents. Game Over.)

Gooper Blooper: god dammit spy

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(Fifteen minutes of Corn Boss, ten of which are spent on its' last 10 percent of health)

RedSpy: Words cannot describe the hate I have for this POS
Draco: FINALLY. GAWD.
Gooper Blooper: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

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(A return to the Home Castle store makes a wave of Barbarians, the weakest enemies in the game, appear)

Gooper Blooper: BARBARIANS AGAIN
Gooper Blooper: they never learn
RedSpy: THEY SO WEAK
RedSpy: IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF

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(Full Moon, the hardest level in the game, begins)

Gooper Blooper: oh god full moon

(Game Over)

Gooper Blooper: fuck full moon

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(Grey Knight and Conehead deal with a "beefy" enemy that can easily break out of close combat by spamming arrows and Grey Knight's magic, which is also arrows. It takes about thirty solid seconds of constant arrows.)

RedSpy: BOY HE TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE EH
Gooper Blooper: haaaa

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(Grey Knight dies again)

Gooper Blooper: we need to talk about your Defense stat
Gooper Blooper: I'm staging an intervention
Gooper Blooper: this is for your own good

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(Grey Knight and Conehead enter the Ice Castle)

Gooper Blooper: Conehead: Hey, uh
RedSpy: Grey Knight: What is it now?
Gooper Blooper: Conehead: Is this that White Castle you promised?
RedSpy: Grey Knight: . . . Yes. Yes it is. Now time for us to meet the Burger King
RedSpy: He's kidnapped the Dairy Queen and we gotta save her, okay?
Gooper Blooper: Conehead: OH NO
Gooper Blooper: ONWARD TO BREASTS
RedSpy: GK: TO BATTLE!
RedSpy: (and breasts)

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(Conehead wins the duel to earn a kiss from the princess by defeating Grey Knight)

Gooper Blooper: TAKE THAT, LOW DEFENSE
RedSpy: (And lo, did Conehead mack on the dairy queen)
Gooper Blooper: yayyyyy
RedSpy: (All things considered he was playing it pretty cool)

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(Grey Knight runs out of potions halfway through the final level)

Gooper Blooper: you go through Potions like Sarah goes through milkshakes
RedSpy: Wizard and I have an understanding
RedSpy: I enter his room, I kick his sorry ass

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(The final boss is defeated)

Gooper Blooper: AND SO CONEHEAD BECAME A MAN
RedSpy: AS DID GREY KNIGHT
RedSpy: MOOKS NO LONGER

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(Ending cutscene)

Gooper Blooper: Excited Weasel is my favorite
RedSpy: 8D

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(RedSpy unlocks Stove Face, the enemy responsible for Full Moon being so difficult)

Gooper Blooper: OH BOY
Gooper Blooper: YOU GOT THAT ANNOYING DOUCHE FROM FULL MOON
Gooper Blooper: CONGRATS
RedSpy: NOW I CAN USE HIM AS A PUNCHING BAG IN THE ARENA

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RedSpy: So what now?
Gooper Blooper: Now I'm about done
Gooper Blooper: But hey
RedSpy: That was fun, and thanks for playing :D
Gooper Blooper: This time next week: SCOTT PILGAY
Gooper Blooper: you down
RedSpy: HELL YES
RedSpy: Stephen Stills' fists of fury are renowned in legends
Gooper Blooper: let the xbox beat em ups continue
RedSpy: EcksBawks