"My fellow Americans... Together, we have witnessed the decay of our home country. We have seen our once-mighty lands become weak, dependent, and limp. We rely on China for cheap goods... we import oil from the Middle East... and the two dominating political parties will find any excuse to butt heads.
But worst of all, is our increasing dependence on the King Of Beasts."
The man on stage began to pace.
"A ragtag band of monsters, superheroes, magicians, and storybook knights. They have done the impossible, conquered the unconquerable, and are in control of vast sums of money. Some civilians fear them, others worship them. Sound familiar?"
He looked out at the assembled audience. "That used to be us. That was US, dammit. The good ol' U.S. of A! Our President, he tries his best - I envy that robotic suit - but it's not enough to coexist with them. Not when they're stealing the glory of America. No, we need to outdo them. We need to prove our superiority. We need to... well, to borrow a phrase, we need to Make America Great Again.
And that is why, gentlemen, I have decided to run for President."
"Under what party, sir?" a man in the crowd asked.
"Neither of them. The Democrats are too weak-willed, and the Republicans tie themselves in knots arguing with each other. I am in Independent. And before you start with the old saw of third parties being failures, I have a plan. One that will make Ross Perot look like Ralph Nader."
"Well, what is it? Tell us!" another man said eagerly.
"Hah... not yet. This is absolutely critical information, and must be kept classified at all costs. Suffice it to say I've spent the better part of a decade getting ready, and that my terms as a senator aren't for nothing.
There's something out there, gentlemen. Something the King Of Beasts has no idea exists. Something that has the power to blow away anyone who opposes our great nation... without the lingering damage of a nuclear weapon. It will take an expert to find what we need, but fortunately for us, that's exactly what I have in store.
A new age is dawning, one with me at the helm. Me: Nevada Senator, Trent Johnson. Under my rule, we will no longer rely on any other country for anything! We will ascend back to our rightful place as the greatest country in the world!"
Senator Johnson raised his fist.
"My America... will be the most unstoppable America of all time!"
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