Chatzy Madness Volume 199: Chatzy Pls

This special mini-edition of Chatzy Madness in which every punchline is "x pls" is sponsored by Bree.

Attempting to compile every time anyone said "x pls" would be a Sisyphean task, so instead for this special Chatzy Madness, 30 names - users, characters, etc - have been searched for in my nearly 1000 chatlogs with Windows Search and a sample has been taken.

Let the pleading begin.

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Harpy: *looks at barchives*
Harpy: *giffany made it*
Gooper Blooper: Made it on the villain list? Of course she did, she kidnapped two regulars
Harpy: the description should have totes been "oh mah gawd murderous girlfriends are just so kawaii desuuuu~"
Gooper Blooper: updated villains list
RubyChao: bwahahaha goops pls
Harpy: oh my god he actually did it
Harpy: thank ye goops
Harpy: thoops
Gooper Blooper: kawaii uguu yandere
Harpy: >​uguu
Harpy: aaaaaaaaaa

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I Am Del: today begins the redemption of tak-sin apparently
I Am Del: when curnweend arrives
I Am Del: coincidentally, there's a rainbow outside my window
I Am Del: GAY JOKES ARE STILL FUNNY RIGHT GUYS
I Am Del: GUYS
I Am Del: GUYS
I Am Del: guys
I Am Del: :<
SteelKomodo: del pls

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Cornwind Evil: And now you know why Ash knows so much modern pop culture
iKomodo: WELP
Jumpropeman: that really was bugging me to be honest so I'm glad to know the full skinny now
Cornwind Evil: Until he was 16, our Earth was his
Cornwind Evil: Xaxargas came out in 2020
Banjo KazooBree: Xaxargas: "Mom...Dad...I'm gay."
Banjo KazooBree: "I'M DATING JEWEL MAN AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME"
iKomodo: Bree pls
iKomodo: BREE PLS
Banjo KazooBree pls
Del: sk's pls fall on deaf ears

Chatzy Madness Volume 198: The Whitest of Them All

Hruppyp-n-ghi: Here we go; the classic ZFRP argument. :v You know it's true.
Hruppyp-n-ghi: Though to be fair, most of the ones there -are- buxom. :U We need a Silence figure instead. Draco, have you an Edit handy? :v
Aurora Harpy: well when all your enemies are dead regardless of curves or stength... :U
Hruppyp-n-ghi laughs wickedly at harps' assertion and griiiiiiiiiiiiins until Del bans him
RubyChao: on one side, suho and sephine
RubyChao: on the other side, yuugi and silence :V
Aurora Harpy: in the middle: Kevvy
RubyChao: *kevvy and tenshi
Tableter: Kenshi and tevvy
Gooper Blooper: apparently the actual best body is a tall one - the other two tower over the poor girl in the middle
Hruppyp-n-ghi: Hehhehhh.

---

☯✞follow for more soft goop✞☯ joined the chat
RubyChao follows
Draco: We don't want'cher "soft goop" around here, bub. BI

---

Seth Rollins Wearing Pantyhose joined the chat
Gooper Blooper: Occasionally CW's username reflects not what Seth Rollins is doing, but what Cornwind himself is doing. I doubt this is one of those times.
Hruppyp-n-ghi: Nope. CW's reflecting Daredevil wearing panty hose.
Seth Rollins Wearing Pantyhose: See? Pantyhose
Seth Rollins Wearing Pantyhose: Okay so it's an appropriation of this costume
Seth Rollins Wearing Pantyhose: But it still looks like pantyhose to me on some level
Gooper Blooper: I like it. It's like an upside-down ninja.
Draco: Was he burned with acid? "No, I just find masks to be terribly comfortable. I think they'll be all the rage in the future."
Gooper Blooper: Maybe it ​is​ pantyhose, but characters can turn weird clothing choices into gold
Gooper Blooper: see also: Solid Snake in general, Ramza's assless chaps
iKomodo: Hahaha
Draco: So...yeah...lookin' for Buttercup, Daredevil? You gonna go fight Prince Humperdink?
Aurora Harpy: assless chaps <3
Gooper Blooper: workin it
Draco: Sarah starts throwing dollar bills.
Gooper Blooper: she just slides the money into the straps
iKomodo: XD
Aurora Harpy: the ass no one thought they needed
iKomodo: Oh god
iKomodo: now I have a mental image of Dirk noticing it
iKomodo: and having a mental struggle with himself
iKomodo: "dat butt... IT'S NOT JO! yet dat butt..."
Gooper Blooper: ​Josephine staring as well
Tableter: This looks like my cue to go sleep!
Tableter: :P
Gooper Blooper: kek

Chatzy Madness Volume 197: Which Witch Is Which

Aurora Borealis: A dead giant would be good for studying anatomy and weak point, a live one good for behavior
Aurora Borealis: Under lock and chain, due to OH GOD WHAT IF IT GETS MAD AND PUNCHES ME
The things: PAAwUUNCH
SteelKomodo: lel
The things: One of these days, Alice, one of these days- wham, pow, straight through the moon-
Naw. CW doesn't like punchin' ladies. :x It's gentlemanly of him. He may refrain as he likes.
:f I like lady warriors too much not to punch lady warriors. It's its own variant of disrespect in my book. :S Eh.
The things: Joan of Arcadia gets no street cred if there isn't legitimately someone defeated, I suppose the logic is. -shrug- They can achieve. They do achieve. So I shan't impede them from achieving by failing to be an impediment in the way until such time as they overcome and vanquish me to the yield or the death, on my troth as knight?
The things is of muddled coffeeless mind
SteelKomodo: mmhm
Blue was timed out
The things: Mind you; I am very much against hitting ladies that cannot or will not hit back. :/ That's unequal. Just as I'm all for watching Silence trounce guys that think they can punch as hard as her. >​) It would be just as bad, though, if Silence attacked a civvy guy or goyl that wouldn't fight back.
That's the aspect I tend to focus on, not the gender mannerism- NO
BLUE
WHY
Aurora Borealis: Aurora will zap anyone who is gonna hurt her or her friends. Or her books :|
Aurora Borealis: No touchy the bookies without permission, thank ye
The things: But boooks
-watches nerdy girls of all stripes and sizes gravitate towards them, a certain Touhou in the lead-
Aurora Borealis: "Ask first! This is a library, not a book fair or a giveaway! :|"

---

RubyChao: who wants
RubyChao: a horror comiiiiic *jazzhands*
Del: meeee
Aurora Borealis: Nnnnooo
RubyChao: enjoy

---

Gooper Blooper: I saw your blog harpy
Gooper Blooper: it was cure
Gooper Blooper: *cute
Boreas: Goopy has seen the blog
Boreas: IT WAS CURE
Boreas: I HAVE CURED GOOPY'S ILLS
Boreas: WITH A BLOGPOST
Gooper Blooper: the only way to make a blog cure is if white mages are in it
Boreas: *stuffs Boreas in a white mage outfit*

Chatzy Madness Volume 196: Fred Must Paint the Wall

(Plans to play together in World of Warcraft)

Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: I just had the stupidest idea of us all just being Death Knights named after Kongs. The DK Krew
SteelKomodo: hahaha
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: Just go into dungeons
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: And post the lyrics as we appear in formation
SteelKomodo: Del is obviously Lanky
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: "SO WE"RE FINALLY HERE" "PERFORMING FOR YOU" "IF YOU KNOW THE WORDS YOU CAN JOIN IN TOO" "dear lord there's 3 of them"
SteelKomodo: no style, no grace, but a funny face
Del: for sure
Bree: only if I can be candy kong
Bree: hey bb check out my hawt apetits
Bree: I'm the sexiest monkey you'll ever lay eyes on
Bree: and I'm totally a monkey

---

Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: This will be my chatzy background every day
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: On a daily basis I will be greeted by Fred Flintstone's smiling face, the bright blue skies, and a wall that needs to be painted
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: The game was released in 1991, Fred
SteelKomodo: hahaha
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: Its been 25 years
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: And you're still painting that wall
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: Why are you only one quarter of the way done
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: How are you still smiling
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: Is this the second coat? Or maybe the hundreth?
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: Your family hasn't seen you in years, Fred. You're still just painting that wall
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: They miss you

Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: Fred no put the bowling ball down
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: He's your friend, he deserves better than this
Spy Must PAINT THE WALL: Even if he steals your cereal on a daily basis

(later)

Spy Must PAINT THE WALL was timed out
iKomodo: There goes spy
Gooper Blooper: he has to GET TO THE BOWLING ALLEY BEFORE IT CLOSES
iKomodo: XD

The City of Second Chances

-MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-

-TRIDENLAND-

"I can't believe we're shutting down Tridenland..." Sarah moped.

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic, dear!" Celestia said, waving a hand dismissively. "We just can't be in two places at once! It will still be open on a limited basis, just as more of a family fun stop than a full amusement park."

It was true - caught between either leaving the park for yet another summer or ignoring her friends at the King of Beasts, Celestia, ever the businesswoman, had decided to take a third option and make Tridenland into a franchise, with a new location opening in Las Vegas. Manhattan's Tridenland would remain open, but it was not as popular as it was in its' early years, perhaps due to the memories of Zoofights fading and becoming less fresh. Now it would be a smaller, more laid-back experience, with many of the biggest rides being either decommissioned or moved to the new location.

Competing for dollars in Las Vegas was risky, to be sure, but the possible payoff was massive. Celestia mused over this fact as she watched a team of WarMechs led by Skeiron, Mecha-Sarah, and Buzzsaw dismantle a roller coaster for parts while Isotope surveyed the scene and acted as a lookout. She laughed quietly to herself. A big risk for a big payout... that definitely sounded like Vegas, all right.

Celestia looked away from the demolition and took a look at her daughter. Sarah had always had a bit of a healthy, cheery glow about her when happy, but now she seemed to be like that all the time, even when outwardly she could be glum, or bored, or even asleep. And Celestia knew why.

When Alex had popped the question, Sarah's initial quiet response had, predictably, given way to her old giddy excitement, and she'd spent the entire next day vibrating with joy as she told and retold the events of the day before to her family and many of her friends. That initial rush had faded, but a storm of emotions continued to swarm through the little white mage long after the fact.

The wedding was planned for June, currently, and there was still much to be done, but Celestia had been happy to take care of much of the minutiae, and the family as a whole wasn't jonesing for a massive, extravagant affair with dozens of third parties to pay thousands to - especially since Celestia herself could do the catering. No, this would be a simple wedding to plan, if not still fancy in person.

After all, a wedding in the glitziest place on the planet between two people who really, really, REALLY enjoyed sweets wasn't exactly going to be a muted, quiet one.

Chatzy Madness Volume 195: Utsuho Goes Fishing

Harpy: "The spider goat is purely a creation of science. Outwardly it’s no different from your typical goat. However, the spider goat does have spider DNA in it. That’s right the spider goat creates milk that contains golden orb spider silk.
Scientists refine the spider goat’s milk and then the extracted silk is used to make highly resistant products such as fishing line wire, body armor, surgical sutures and parachutes. It is located in Utah State University. This farm is actually part of a larger research facility at USU that focuses on animal husbandry and genetics."
Harpy: david step your game up
Sabercrow: David only spins silk when it's comedically appropriate
SteelKomodo: what
Del: hahaha
Harpy: like water to wine, david turns milk to silk
Sabercrow: He can also do the wine thing, and combined they're great at parties
Harpy: his kids complain when its obvious their cereal bowls are filled with threads

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RubyChao: the cake from mario 64 ds
RubyChao: but WITH TOUHOUS
RubyChao: (nah it's prob. not on purpose but it sure does remind me of that)
ivel: at least it's not the cake from Mario RPG
Harpy: Bundt?
ivel: mhm
Harpy: don't give me ideas to have him be a boss in RP, ivel
Harpy: he will lose
Harpy: he will lose ​horribly
ivel: please do the thing
Harpy: it's a OHKO if sarah's there
Harpy: unless the cake gets bigger somehow to make it more of a pain to actually eat it
Harpy: still a OHKO if sarah's there
Harpy: unless its
Harpy: A SPICY CAKE
iKomodo: The thing?
Harpy: he wants me to RP a goddamn cake as a villain
Harpy: :U
Gooper Blooper: eat the cake, sarah
Harpy: gooper no
iKomodo: Hahaha
Harpy: the cake is eviler and bigger than ever
Harpy: SAMMY'S TRAPPED IN THERE
Its Not Me: rip cake
Gooper Blooper: >​implying sammy won't be able to eat her way out
iKomodo: rip in peace
Harpy: "FUCK I JUST ATE AT THE CHICKEN WING PLACE NOW YOU GOTTA DO THIS YOU FUCKIN SUCK"
Harpy: Bundt will prolly be a BBP thing, since he wouldn't really fit in any of my other plots :U
Harpy: well.. it
iKomodo: Koopa puts up an advertisement. "Eat at Scoopa Koopa's... then try dessert at the Bonus Boss Pavilion with a free voucher! And by 'free', I mean with anything over $15."
RubyChao: CASSANDRA SUMMONS BUNDT TO TRY AND DEFEAT GLUTTONY WITH A CAKE SO BIG
RubyChao: EVEN HE CAN'T EAT IT
Harpy: Gluttony easily wins
Harpy: you can't stop him from eating giant cakes no matter how big it may be

Prison Break

-MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-

-THE TOMBS-

"This is officer CX-1 DA300. I need backup! Repeat, I need backup!" Browny said urgently, clutching his communicator like a lifeline. "Someone! ANYONE!"

Around the corner, it was utter chaos. Rioting prisoners overturned tables, ripped signs off of walls, and set fire to anything flammable. A refrigerator, its' door ripped off, was thrown and slid down the hall past Browny, who wisely made a tactical retreat.

As Browny advanced towards a quiet-looking hallway, he was forced to change direction again when he heard the crackling of electricity - and the shouts from two security guards to someone to "hold fire". But they didn't hold fire, instead unleashing a loud crack of lightning, electrocuting the men. As Browny retreated again, he heard the attacker laugh, delighted.

Another route... this one also trouble. Browny shrunk back as he saw two shadows cast by people around the corner. One, judging from what appeared to be a hat, was an officer. The other...

"Go on, son. Just try it." the figure drawled.

The officer fired his gun.

The other man didn't even flinch. He laughed, and there was a sudden movement, followed by the sound of the officer collapsing.

Browny once more ducked away, finally finding a safe spot inside a supply room.

"I don't understand..." Browny thought to himself. "Who are these people? We don't have anyone with those powers in this prison... that's what the kobbers are for. But the kobbers aren't here. Where did they come from? Who could they-"

It was then that Browny figured it out. There was only one prisoner in this compound that could possibly warrant this magnitude of an escape. Only one prisoner that could have these kind of connections. One that he'd gotten the kobbers' help dealing with, two and a half years ago...

 And then Browny's luck ran out, when a man opened the door, saw him, and charged. The last thing Browny saw before shutting down was a swinging foot wreathed in flames.

-MANHATTAN, NEW YORK-

-BROWNY'S OFFICE-

-TWO DAYS LATER-

"I thought you had that bastard under lock and key!"

"We did." Browny sighed. "Unfortunately, that prison break was of a magnitude higher than anything we've seen since the dragon attack in November 2012. We weren't prepared, at all. And to no one's surprise, when we finally got everything under control, he was among the unaccounted for."

Electra groaned, hand on her forehead. "Ugh... So what are you doing sitting in your office? Shouldn't you be tracking him down?"

"I've been forebade to."

"What?!"

"There is solid evidence that they escaped to Las Vegas, Nevada. However, the police force there has prohibited outside investigation into the case, and is claiming they will handle it. If you want my opinion, I think a large portion of them have been bought off or are being suppressed. I hear my former coworker Theodore is there, and there's no way he would fall to corruption, but his division doesn't seem equipped for this level of threat. Hopefully he doesn't run into trouble.

Now, I called you here for more than to just share the news. I can't abandon my responsibilities here, so it's up to you."

"Me? Why me?"

"You knew him better than anyone else in this city, and you have a connection to the kobbers. You're the perfect woman for the job."

"Heh... All right, Browny, I'll bite."

"This time, though... don't expect to make an arrest."

Chatzy Madness Volume 194: Kobberitis

Molasses Sheep: I'm the worst at actually playing vieogames the way you are supposed to play them
Molasses Sheep: Team composition? But I like this one's design and this one's dialog!
RubyChao: hahahaha
Molasses Sheep: And then I force the team to fit
RubyChao: i can just imagine you picking your touhous that way, sheep
Molasses Sheep: this is literally how I play all my RPGs
Molasses Sheep: I will literally go out and grind and over level instead of just swap my dang team members
Molasses Sheep: BECAUSE WHAT IF I MISS GOOD DIALOG FROM *insert character here*
Molasses Sheep: But, this also why all my Pokemon teams are awful
Molasses Sheep: I generally hold on to like the ten first guys I catch in the game
Molasses Sheep: and that's just my team
Molasses Sheep: I HOPE YOU LIKE ZIGZAGOONS AND PELLIPERS
Molasses Sheep: I just slam the square into the round hole until something breaks

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Gooper Blooper: oh, spy, you'll be glad to know
Gooper Blooper: when working on chatzy madness this afternoon I came across Del posting a text-to-speech website people played with for a bit
Gooper Blooper: I made one of the voices do a reading of Kanye's Dead Zone
Spynosaurus: Goops
Spynosaurus: You're the best
iKomodo: Oh lawd
iKomodo: "inhale my dong enragement rapper"
Gooper Blooper: the character limit was 250 so it had to be done in two dozen parts but I did it anyway
Spynosaurus: Holy shit Goops xD
RubyChao: how was it
Gooper Blooper: not bad
Gooper Blooper: pretty good dramatic pause on "kanye west was at my door"
Gooper Blooper: when "rubychao" was spelled correctly, he actually pronounced it right (though I still mentally say "ruby kay-oh"
Gooper Blooper: I was really thrown for a loop when I heard it pronounced "chow" ingame
Gooper Blooper: like, you don't call the other guy "chows zero" so what's the deal
RubyChao: goops has been pronouncing it wrong for how long now
RubyChao: goops pls
Gooper Blooper: since I got Sonic Adventure 2 Battle
Gooper Blooper: so I think about thirteen years now
iKomodo: Man, goops
RubyChao: damn
iKomodo: i have to admit, I feel good now knowing my pronunciation of Chao was correct all along
iKomodo: ...but wait, didn't SA2 have the Chao Garden?
RubyChao: it did
RubyChao: but it was never spoken in-game
Gooper Blooper: yeah it did
iKomodo: ah
iKomodo: what about Omochao?
iKomodo: did he speak?
Gooper Blooper: He did, and he said his name I think
RubyChao: yeah but i bet goops ignored him :V
Gooper Blooper: but I just somehow missed it
iKomodo: ...you shoulda twigged then :U
Gooper Blooper: It was later, around Sonic Heroes or something, where he said "omochow" and I was like "wait what did you just say"
Gooper Blooper: I remember I used to have a second "I know this is wrong but I can't stop pronouncing it" problem
Gooper Blooper: For whatever reason, in the early-mid 2000s I pronunced mage as "modge". I have no idea why. If I was pulling directly from "magic" (like how I got kay-oh from "chaos") I would have said "madge" but I didn't
RubyChao: RED MODGE
RubyChao: WHITE MODGE
RubyChao: BLACK MODGE
Gooper Blooper: then I just somehow managed to switch to "mayge"
Gooper Blooper: yes, chao
Gooper Blooper: exactly
RubyChao: i think i have a couple things i always pronounce wrong
RubyChao: a couple 2hu names
Gooper Blooper: Goopsmom has told me that I'm historically bad at pronouncing
Gooper Blooper: This is because I learned words by reading them, not by hearing them spoken or sounded in a dictionary
Spynosaurus: Well ah pronounce it MAGLE
Spynosaurus: . . . I botched the JBL nooo

Serendipity

Chatzy Madness Volume 193: Five Nights At Friendlies

ivel: I just got Chao in a phone app
ivel: "Giant Hero Chao"
RubyChao punches a kaiju

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RubyChao: bbl in like
RubyChao: ten hours
RubyChao: ...*five hours
RubyChao: not ten hours
RubyChao: i'm not coming back at 4 am

---

Gooper Blooper: goopschars don't do drugs
Draco: BREAK NEWS: Sarah arrested for using a performance-enhancing spell to win the martial arts tournament.
Cornwind Evil: Sarah knows martial arts?
Draco: She knows sumo? =V

---

Spy Ready To Party joined the chat
Spy With Legs Showing joined the chat
Spy With Legs Showing: HE
Spy Ready To Party: HAS
Spy With Legs Showing: NO
Spy Ready To Party: STYLE
Spy With Legs Showing: HE
Spy Ready To Party: HAS
Spy With Legs Showing: NO
Spy Ready To Party: GRACE
Spy With Legs Showing: THIS
Spy Ready To Party: SPY
Spy With Legs Showing: IS
Spy Ready To Party: A
Spy With Legs Showing: CHEATYFACE

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Harpy: [2:02:14 PM] Ivelchild: Longtime RP partner problems
Us: Okay, this time we're going to develop this relationship slowly. Give it some good, tense buildup.
Us: (two days later)
Us:Well, I guess they're married now.

Noir

Chatzy Madness Volume 192: The Lonely Ditto

Draco: Conrad and Ellie are settling in for a 5-day anime marathon, but his mother and some of her friends unexpectedly drop in to visit. He must manipulate the doors and monitor security cameras to keep them from getting in and showing Ellie his baby pictures.
SteelKomodo: hahaha
Worlds Shortest Spy: Oh god no xD
Five Nights at Jonesyhaus: perfect
Draco: He has to hold them off until 6 PM, at which point Gezora calls Happy Hour and they withdraw.
Cornwind Evil: I can't see Jonesy leaving if she encountered a closed door
Five Nights at Jonesyhaus: she'd see it as a challenge
Five Nights at Jonesyhaus: or shout through it
Five Nights at Jonesyhaus: "ARE YOU TWO WATCHING CARTOON PORN AGAIN"
Gooper Blooper: 5 Nights At Celestia's: As Celestia, keep your daughters from getting into your bakery storeroom and eating all your baked goods.
RubyChao: the sixth night adds the surprise challenge by upgrading it to your daughters and husband
RubyChao: the seventh night, they all bring their friends
Gooper Blooper: Alex and Dirk may appear as well
RubyChao: no one has ever beaten the seventh night
SteelKomodo: lolz
SteelKomodo: Dirk is just there for the butts
Gooper Blooper: The seventh night looks less like Five Nights At Freddy's and more like a high level in Defend Your Castle
Harpy: top lel

---

Something Something Dark Side: Hello, Ruby.
Something Something Dark Side: Hello, Harps.
Something Something Dark Side: Hello, Draco, Goops, CW, Ven.
Something Something Dark Side: Ignore that last one. I'm still waking up.

---

RubyChao: back
RubyChao: with chocolate
Harpy: *CHOCOLATE INTENSIFIES*
Gooper Blooper: what kind of chocolate
RubyChao: hershey's bar
RubyChao: ordinary chocolate
RubyChao: plain but serviceable
Gooper Blooper: the old guard standby of chocolate
RubyChao: well
RubyChao: i had chocolate
Gooper Blooper: goddamn
Gooper Blooper: that was fast
RubyChao: i was hungry
Harpy: i still like the idea of a 2P hero that is overshadowed by-
Harpy: ruby ate that chocolate bar
Gooper Blooper: one of us
Harpy: AT SARAH SPEED
Gooper Blooper: chao
RubyChao: looks about right