TheDeleter: i am cooking
Harpy: now all I can imagine is del in a frilly pink apron trying to bake a pizza
SteelKomodo: XD:
TheDeleter: actually i'm making potato wedges :)
Harpy: almost the same thing! Except not really
---
M Sheep: New RP Idea: All my characters as mimes
M Sheep bringing you bad ideas since 1992!
SteelKomodo: oh god no D:
Gooper Blooper: Worst Possible Settings for 2013 RP
Gooper Blooper: 1: A Trailer Park
Gooper Blooper: 2: Mongolian-Manchurian Steppe
Gooper Blooper: 3: Fucking Manhattan Again
M Sheep: 3: Clown School
SteelKomodo: I disagree with your 3 point, goops
Gooper Blooper: goddamn clowns
SteelKomodo: Clown School would be considerably worse
funnyspy: I'd so RP on theeeeeee
funnyspy: MONGOLIAN! MANCHURIAN! STEPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Gooper Blooper: but there ain't shit to do in mongolia
Gooper Blooper: You thought the non-fight RP got slow LAST year
Gooper Blooper: "Welp, guess we sit on the grass until Zombie Tiamat Skeleton Cyborg shows up"
SteelKomodo: "Boy, Shin Cyber Zombie Akuma Level 2 is taking his time, isn't he?"
M Sheep: 4: Alternate Dimension Existing Inside Sine's Shot Glass
M Sheep: Not quite sure what I was on when THAT happened
---
TheDeleter: can we go back to that minecraft video for a second, because i can imagine david and jaxx setting off one of those by accident and standing around laughing whilst the rest of the kobbers are getting brief transmissions of them laughing and going "what are they doing"
TheDeleter: don't play minecraft with david
SteelKomodo: pffffft
SteelKomodo: that would indeed be a bad idea
SteelKomodo: hmmm... Kobbers playing Minecraft
SteelKomodo: Dirk either wouldn't do it because "fuck that nerdy shit" or he'd do exactly what we'd expect him to do; build a giant naked lady out of obsidian
TheDeleter: "David, what are you-" *boom* "...Umm... what the FUCK?"
TheDeleter: *Widow Maker laughing in the background*
SteelKomodo: Pit'd be the guy who crafts a badass doom fortress and weeps when David inevitably blows it up
SteelKomodo: XD
Saberwulf: back
TheDeleter: wb
SteelKomodo: wb man
Saberwulf: David has life as his Minecraft
Saberwulf: "Haha woops, blew up half your planet, mate"
TheDeleter: "Why on earth would you use red matter?!" I just wanted to dig, mate!"
TheDeleter: "Jesus Christ David."
Saberwulf: "That's /Sir/ Jesus Christ David."
Saberwulf: *spreads out arms, floats into air before exploding*
SteelKomodo: everything tends to explode around David
SteelKomodo: I wonder if he's made of Red Matter sometimes.
TheDeleter: david tends to make things explode
Saberwulf: I'm pretty sure parts of David are considered rare elements and compounds
Saberwulf: His blood's transfusable to basically anyone if you can filter all the drugs and radiation
TheDeleter: a small race of nanobots are mining his bones for hypersilver
TheDeleter: man i like the idea of trips through kobber minds but i don't think i'd wanna go visit davids
TheDeleter: because then we might meet david
Saberwulf: "The purest hypersilver is that which comes from the rare, exotic David Arcturus Wulf. Let's see if we can get any closer to—" "Oi, buy something, or get out! And no filming! At least not without paying my fee!"
TheDeleter: that was more insightful than it was going to be
Saberwulf: Oh jesus, actually seeing inside David's head
SteelKomodo: XD
Saberwulf: It'd be... Brutal, to say the least
TheDeleter: mind you going through any kobber's head wouldn't be fun
TheDeleter: jonesy would have a little pink space for Conrad, and then this big blacky spidery blob of guilt about what she did to get conrad hanging above it, mumbling to itself about how she's a bad mother and she doesn't deserve this, it's all her fault, no it's david's, no it's hers, etc
Saberwulf: David's is probably his ship, but every container is filled with endless worlds of every thing he's seen and all of his fucked up emotions
Saberwulf: Some of them are exact 1:1 recreations of certain scenes, like him killing his father, making Jonesy kill Dante, locking Jaxx into Theta, burning people as a Viraemenia, etc.
Saberwulf: These are things I think about when I'm bored
TheDeleter: del would have a room full of dead bodies
TheDeleter: like, of all the people/aliens he's killed i guess
TheDeleter: just a mountain of dead bodies in a dimly-light room
Saberwulf: You can hear the sound of something burning far away, and if you put your ear to the wall, you can hear his wife whisper "Delmond"
Saberwulf: :2spooky:
TheDeleter: nuuuuu
TheDeleter: of course it wouldn't all be doom and gloom, jonesy's brain could have a lot of silly stuff in too
Saberwulf: Oh, of course. David's head is filled with happy stuff too
Saberwulf: I imagine the happiness and goofy shit is in the top containers, and as you go lower it gets worse
TheDeleter: yeah
Saberwulf: Buried somewhere in there is probably some insano-mindfuck secret he holds
Saberwulf: It kind of sucks that I never got around to doing Frozen In Time, because David mentions at the end of ZF that he was there when the recursion stones were made
Saberwulf: It's like jesus fuck David who are you
TheDeleter: he's a very strange man
Saberwulf: He has a Phd in strange
Saberwulf: Doctor David
Saberwulf: David is The Doctor
Saberwulf: But with guns and coke
TheDeleter: and thus the mystery is solved
TheDeleter: i guess jonesy's brain has a big shelf of likes, a decent chunk of which is chocolate and chocolate related things
TheDeleter: like, half of it is chocolate and guns
Saberwulf: Are there guns made of chocolate
TheDeleter: yes
Saberwulf: Good
TheDeleter: as if it was going to be any other way
Saberwulf: haha
SteelKomodo: Eddie's is full of rockin' landscapes and some awesome cars to ramp off the landscapes. Also a giant fridge full of beer.
SteelKomodo:
SteelKomodo: Pit's has a shelf for his feelings about Raw, the contents of which range disjointedly from flowers to riot shields. Also it has an ice-cream dispenser
SteelKomodo: Dirk's? Don't even ask
Saberwulf: The King of Beasts: Everyone's fucking crazy as shit
SteelKomodo: yep
TheDeleter: huzzah
---
M Sheep: Oh good lord
M Sheep: Sk, I just found your "Dirktionary"
SteelKomodo: only just? :P
SteelKomodo: what's your opinion?
M Sheep: Good! I laughed
SteelKomodo: thanks, man
M Sheep: Perhaps one day we shall see a page or excerpt from the dirktionary?
SteelKomodo: maybe
SteelKomodo: I never thought to expand it - it was planned as a silly one-off
SteelKomodo: but now you've brought it up... hmmmmmmm
Gooper Blooper: Honeypants (/hənē-pants/) Noun
SteelKomodo: XD
---
Gooper Blooper: Gamestop keeps a record of everything I've done there because I have a gamestop card
Gooper Blooper: Last time I went was September 24 to buy Four Heroes of Light
Gooper Blooper: I did some trade-ins too, and it lists those, but it says I traded in Final Fantasy III for DS
Gooper Blooper: gamestop I don't even have FF3
Gooper Blooper: you're ridiculous gamestop
SteelKomodo: XD
SteelKomodo: funny you should bring that up
SteelKomodo: but I actually have the ROM for that
Gooper Blooper: it's a normal, old-school, hard as nails turn-based RPG
Gooper Blooper: complete with white mages
Gooper Blooper: it's like SK kryptonite
SteelKomodo: aaaaaaaaah D:
SteelKomodo faints.
---
SteelKomodo: whenever a MGR ad comes up on Youtube
SteelKomodo: "My sword can do many things... It can protect the innocent... It can punish the guilty... It can wreak vengeance without limits..."
SteelKomodo: and then I interrupt with "BUT WILL IT BLEND?"
RedSpy: PFFFFFFFFFT
SteelKomodo: yeah, I know, cheap shot :P
RedSpy: Will it? Will it REALLY?
SteelKomodo: I don't think you could blend Raiden's sword.
SteelKomodo: it'd wreck the blender something fierce
---
Gooper Blooper: I think it's a good sign when I keep wanting to "go back and read the past adventures" of characters that haven't really had many yet
Gooper Blooper: Characters in question being Gloria, Ariel, and Josephine
TheDeleter: it is
---
TheDeleter: i bought a nightwish cd because i am a 15 year old girl
SteelKomodo: what D:
TheDeleter: and when you put the cd in the computer drive, it puts up a fucking QUICKTIME video of their music
TheDeleter: and you have to rip it with a different program if you want the tracks because i explored the cd and actually honest to god can't find them
Saberwulf: ahahahaha
TheDeleter: the music files are not on the fucking drive
SteelKomodo: D:
TheDeleter: it's all for the goddamn music video
SteelKomodo: DDDD:
TheDeleter: holy shit this is like stepping back in time
TheDeleter: 1998 i'm back lets watch smtv live and go to the mall on our skateboards to get some nes games
Saberwulf: welcome back to the land of Compact Discs and Geocities
Saberwulf: PLEASE INSTALL SHOCKWAVE PLAYER
TheDeleter: i think it fucking is shockwave and all let me check
SteelKomodo: aaaaaah flashbacks
SteelKomodo: also, spider emoticons: D::::
TheDeleter: there's an exe but it's not shockwave
TheDeleter: oh wait i forgot to elaborate
TheDeleter: it's not just a quicktime video
TheDeleter: it's a fucking program you use to watch the music video and NOTHING ELSE
Saberwulf: oh my fucking god
TheDeleter: so
TheDeleter: where the fuck is the music
TheDeleter: wait hang on a sec
Saberwulf: I bet the music is part of the exe or something
TheDeleter: no they're not a "hidden" file
TheDeleter: holy fucking shit what IS this
Saberwulf: Just some bugfuck stupid way of jamming things together like they did in the 90's
SteelKomodo: D:
TheDeleter: it's like a witch doctor woke up and decided "I'm going to fuck something up today"
SteelKomodo: dow dow dow dow
TheDeleter: and then he did a blood ritual on a dell computer and bam
TheDeleter: at least it's on itunes now
TheDeleter: got it ripped on
TheDeleter: but goddamn, what the fuck
TheDeleter: i;m going to try and open the exe and see what's inside
TheDeleter: 7zip won't open it as an archive
TheDeleter: ugh, shit's copy protected or something
TheDeleter: no wonder
TheDeleter: it won't let me make it not-ready only
Saberwulf: Gotta protect that Nightwish
TheDeleter: that's actually really fucking sneaky
SteelKomodo: mmhm
TheDeleter: man i don't even like Nightwish that much but i like "Over the Hills" and I saw them at download and they were cool so I though "why not"
TheDeleter: that is a lot of effort to protect some semi-gaelic operatic rock enjoyed by teens worldwide
SteelKomodo: gotta admire that, I suppose
---
TheDeleter: i liked pokemon colosseum
TheDeleter: pokefallout
---
TheDeleter: i don't know much in other languages
TheDeleter: i can get by in france a bit
TheDeleter: probably more if i boned up on it some
TheDeleter: i know what russian for "bitch" is thanks to dota
SteelKomodo: XD
TheDeleter: and i can say "hello" and "shall we fuck" in japanese, which i suspect won't get me far
Saberwulf: I'm pretty sure all I can say is random words and curses in other languages
Saberwulf: Also Chingu
Saberwulf: Which will serve me well one day in a Korean KFC
TheDeleter: you sure like that word
Saberwulf: I do. It's Korean for friend/mate
SteelKomodo: woot
SteelKomodo: also del how did you figure out that second one what the hell
TheDeleter: i know, i looked it up
TheDeleter: as for the answer to that, sk, i learned it in the same place i learned that randomly clicking links on Knowyourmeme is a bad idea
Gooper Blooper: you never know when you'll need to know that
SteelKomodo: oh lawd
Saberwulf: I used to know how to say "two beers please" in around seven languages but it's been a while, need to ask my Dad
Gooper Blooper: The Kobber's Guidebook: How to say "two beers please" in 48,000 languages
SteelKomodo: Count Longardeaux's Dirktionary 2.0: How (Not) To Survive Abroad!
Saberwulf: "Now with Dolphin, interpretative dance, and whatever the hell Ulrika's speaking!"
Gooper Blooper: The Dirktionary would instead be 48,000 ways to say "shall we fuck"
Saberwulf: hahaha
SteelKomodo: XD
SteelKomodo: yes
SteelKomodo: this is now canon
TheDeleter: hahahaha
Gooper Blooper: Cast the net wide enough, surely ONE of em will say yes
SteelKomodo: hahahaha
TheDeleter: Dirk reports a 100% success rate with it (note - statistics may be completetly false)
SteelKomodo: oh lawd this material is writing itself somehow
SteelKomodo: like a sweary caterpillar spinning a coccoon of hilarity
Gooper Blooper: Dirk's cocoon is made of leather
Gooper Blooper: The Breast Chaser watches over it until he hatches
SteelKomodo: oh god I can't stop laughing
Gooper Blooper: it's the cirrrrcle of liiiiiife
SteelKomodo: help
---
Gooper Blooper: I found this picture today and jesus christ I have never seen anything more RUINED FOREVER
Gooper Blooper: uncanny
TheDeleter: god
TheDeleter: daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
SteelKomodo: ...fuck I left my Saralex insulin at the flat
SteelKomodo dies from cuteness overload
SteelKomodo changed name to DeadKomodo
Saberwulf: Hahaha, goddamn that's spot on
Gooper Blooper: I've lost track of how many deaths this chat has had
---
Gooper Blooper: I caught a Geodude and named it Rocky, then traded a Bellsprout to an NPC and he gave me an Onix also named Rocky
Gooper Blooper: I would say great minds think alike, but the dude lived in a town that had thousands of Bellsprout literally right fucking outside so I'm hesitant
DeadKomodo: XD
Saberwulf: Pff
---
Gooper Blooper: Oh hey, Richie Rich did the plot from Cars forty years before Pixar did
TheDeleter: hahaha
TheDeleter: oh man this is something
TheDeleter: Undeterred by the giant mechanical hammer, Richie grits his teeth and drives on, as Gloria and Mr. Rich watch desperately from the stands. You know who isn't in the stands? You know who is completely absent from his son's life except to deliver contempt and abuse? Reggie's father. I think we begin to understand where the blame might lie for Reggie's psychological hangups.
TheDeleter: welp
Gooper Blooper: I love this site
TheDeleter: its great
TheDeleter: im browsing it now
TheDeleter: christ
TheDeleter: Back in the old days mothers used to just dose crying babies up with "soothing syrup", the most famous of which contained the active ingredient "morphine". That'll quiet your kid right up, no doubt about it!
Gooper Blooper: the good old days
---
Gooper Blooper: I ran across this picture the other day
Gooper Blooper: And I couldn't help myself
TheDeleter: you fiend
Gooper Blooper: she's walking past a fucking bar
Gooper Blooper: I had to
Saberwulf: hahaha
---
Gooper Blooper joined the chat
RedSpy: Eyo Goop
SteelKomodo: eyo goops
TheDeleter: its goops
Saberwulf: heya Goops
Gooper Blooper: everyone loves me
---
Netbook Sheep: I've got a sleepy little Shi Tzu beside me here to pet
SteelKomodo: d'aaaaw :3
Netbook Sheep: SHE'S SO LITTLE
SteelKomodo changed name to RedHeavy
RedHeavy: IT IS SO TINY
Gooper Blooper: I would have expected Sheep's pet to be a sea cucumber or something
Gooper Blooper: Or a sheep
RedHeavy changed name to SteelKomodo
Netbook Sheep: To help re-raise your undoubtably horrific impression of my visage
Netbook Sheep: I had Madagascar hissing Cockroach as a boy
SteelKomodo: ...D:
SteelKomodo: a
Gooper Blooper: Now that's a pet I'd imagine you having
SteelKomodo: aaaaaaaa
Netbook Sheep: And a large red millipede of some sort
Gooper Blooper: I keep bugs too sometimes
SteelKomodo: hey del
Netbook Sheep: I called the cockroach La Cuckaracha
SteelKomodo: pfffft
Cornwind Evil: Where do you LIVE?
Cornwind Evil: Crouch End?
Netbook Sheep: Me?
Gooper Blooper: hahahahaha
Gooper Blooper: Just get Ms. Todd to take a shortcut, she'll get you to Sheep's place no problem
Cornwind Evil: No. The last time she took a shortcut, I found this really strange Buick 8.
Netbook Sheep: Really, It was more Courage the Cowardly Dog's Middle of No Where
Gooper Blooper: That's Sheep's car, you almost had him
Netbook Sheep: Hah!
Netbook Sheep: Took me minute, but
Cornwind Evil: Sheep, your car has a problem
Netbook Sheep: I got the reference
Cornwind Evil: First of all, it's not really a car
Cornwind Evil: Second of all I think it warps reality
Gooper Blooper: Yeah, it was a bum deal. Shoulda kept Christine
Cornwind Evil: Third the paintjob sucks
Gooper Blooper: but the trade in bargains, man
Cornwind Evil: Now I have to get back to planning my vacation to Derry, Maine. Seems like a nice quiet little town
Cornwind Evil: Best place to go since Castle Rock burned down. That must have been one hell of a gas leak.
Netbook Sheep: Maine, nice place
Netbook Sheep: If it wasn't for all the vampires
Gooper Blooper: Piece of advice, went there once
Gooper Blooper: Don't take out any books at the library and don't buy any tourist cameras
Netbook Sheep: But chattery teeth might be good buy
Gooper Blooper: those bastards will save your life
Cornwind Evil: Also the sinks make weird noises
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