SteelKomodo: wat XD
Ears: His words are backed with NUCLEAR WEAPONS
Ears: Best final smash
Ears: (Fun fact: in Civ V, every civ's research priorities are on a scale of 1-10. Gandhi's priority for nukes? 12)
SteelKomodo: XD:
Ears: Its all thanks to a bug in the first game, where Gandhi was so nonviolent it bugged the game and caused integer rollover
SteelKomodo: So non violent it flipped back to violent
Ears: Democracy gave extra nonviolence. Gandhi already had the bare minimum. So discovering democracy turned him from a pacifist into an Ork
Ears: From 1 to 255
Harpy: welp
---
Gooper Blooper: I love how ridiculously obvious it is that KIU was made by Sakurai
Gooper Blooper: turn it on, tap to start, oh look it's the Sakurai Menu
SteelKomodo: As Yahtzee put it, "It makes sense because Smash Bros. is the only reason anyone knows what Kid Icarus is."
SteelKomodo: which, sadly, is kinda true :<
Gooper Blooper: Pit is the second character to benefit ENORMOUSLY from Smash Bros
Gooper Blooper: first was Marth
SteelKomodo: True that
SteelKomodo: so goops, have you played much of Kid Icarus just yet?
SteelKomodo: and what can you say about it, if you have?
Gooper Blooper: Can't say too much, as I only played the first level, then messed around in the options for a bit
Gooper Blooper: I do like how it's sort of acknowledged it's been decades since the last game
SteelKomodo: true that
Gooper Blooper: And I am excited by the return of
Gooper Blooper: Complete with
Gooper Blooper: And I can collect
Gooper Blooper: (yep, it's a Sakurai game)
SteelKomodo: (XD)
---
OrkzOrkzOrkz: I can't get over how fucking happy they look
SteelKomodo: Can you blame them?
SteelKomodo: They've finally beaten their arch-enemies. And in a crossover, no less!
SteelKomodo: I say let them ride all the tandem bikes and drink all the champagne they want
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Mega Man and Sonic are like "is this really happening"
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Five bucks says it was their bike first
---
TheDeleter: time to fight owl
SteelKomodo: oh god D:
TheDeleter: goddamn it
TheDeleter: sometimes pooh just decides to be a limpwristed dicktwaddler and not hit the ball at all
TheDeleter: infuriating
TheDeleter: SWEAR TO GOD OWL I'M GONNA THROTTLE YOU
SteelKomodo: D:
TheDeleter: I DID IT
TheDeleter: FUCK YOU YOU FEATHERED FILCHER OF FORTUNE
SteelKomodo: congrats
SteelKomodo: but
TheDeleter: now for tigger
SteelKomodo: what's the wonderful thing about tiggers?
TheDeleter: it's that TIGGERS ARE BULLSHIT
TheDeleter: HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THAT YOU STRIPED SPERMSWALLOWER
TheDeleter: I'M GONNA SKIN YOU
TheDeleter: AAARGH
SteelKomodo: XD:
TheDeleter: here's how tigger works
TheDeleter: he throws the ball
TheDeleter: the ball vanishes
TheDeleter: you have to hit the ball whilst it's invisible, which requires swinging the bat a split second after it goes invisible
TheDeleter: tigger is wizard
---
OrkzOrkzOrkz: I DID IT
OrkzOrkzOrkz: I FUCKING BEAT THAT OWL
SteelKomodo: well done
Gooper Blooper joined the chat
OrkzOrkzOrkz: GOOPS
OrkzOrkzOrkz: I FUCKING BEAT THAT OWL
SteelKomodo: now prepare for even worse torture
SteelKomodo: also hi goops
OrkzOrkzOrkz: THIS IS CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION
TheDeleter: hi goops
Gooper Blooper: oh god has Spy been trying to beat Pooh's Home Run Derby ever since I left last night
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Yes
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Yes I have
SteelKomodo: yes
Gooper Blooper: oh jeez Del too
TheDeleter: yep
TheDeleter: tigger makes me angry
Gooper Blooper: that's what tiggers do best
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Time for a TF2 break
Gooper Blooper: play as scoot
Gooper Blooper: use the bat
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Then I will resume my quest to beat the game sans-updates
Gooper Blooper: boink
OrkzOrkzOrkz: I'm rolling hard mode no Robot Master weapons here
Gooper Blooper: Have you already beaten it with upgrades?
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Nope
OrkzOrkzOrkz: But if I can beat Owl and get halfway through Tigger I can do anything
Gooper Blooper: you fool
OrkzOrkzOrkz: I know, my hubris shall have me cast from Skyworld
Gooper Blooper: Look out for the accursed Christopher Ravensky Robin
SteelKomodo changed name to GilbertGottfried
GilbertGottfried: YOU FOOL
OrkzOrkzOrkz: . . . pffffffft
GilbertGottfried changed name to SteelKomodo
Gooper Blooper: *clippy*
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Also am I wrong for imagining MM2 Baseball Edition
Gooper Blooper: "IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE PLAYING POOH'S HOME RUN DERBY"
Gooper Blooper: I don't think so
Gooper Blooper: Considering they actually made a Mega Man Soccer
TheDeleter: bar version of PHRD, where Sarah is increasingly confounded and upset by the bullshit the other kobbers pull
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Oceanus just punches the damn ball
OrkzOrkzOrkz: To pitch
Gooper Blooper: Sarah the Pooh
OrkzOrkzOrkz: He's an inverse Donkey Kong
TheDeleter: replace tigger with david/jaxx and we're good
SteelKomodo: XD
SteelKomodo: um
Gooper Blooper: willy nilly silly young mage
SteelKomodo: Eddie throws a ball of concentrated METAL?
Gooper Blooper: Stag Beetle rides the ball
Gooper Blooper: You swing at it, he bites the bat in half
TheDeleter: Stag Beetle would be owl, fucking zig-zagging everywhere
Gooper Blooper: Fucks Given: 0
TheDeleter: final boss isn't the Lord, or Jaxx, or any of that crap
TheDeleter: it's ann
TheDeleter: she's got a meanass throwing arm
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Throwsephine
SteelKomodo: Pit and Dirk as Kanga and Roo
Gooper Blooper: Throwsephine is the tutorial opponent
SteelKomodo: They take turns in throwing the ball
SteelKomodo: "Is this even legal?" "Shut the fuck up and pitch already!"
TheDeleter: Jonesy just does fastballs all the time
TheDeleter: "if it hits you, you were in the way!"
Gooper Blooper: Skeiron's fastball is a loaf of bread
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Zephyrus encases the ball in a tornado
OrkzOrkzOrkz: What a dick
Gooper Blooper: Constructor X screams his baseball techniques as he does them
Gooper Blooper: "FLYINNNNNNNG HOMERRRRRRR!"
---
Gooper Blooper: who wants more terrible internet ads
TheDeleter: me
Gooper Blooper: I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS BUT IT HAS A GUN ON IT
Gooper Blooper: http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc320/PapaGonzales/vangogh.png
Gooper Blooper: http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc320/PapaGonzales/ca085912203710191fcc8ad59d74896a_zps8f209bcd.gif
TheDeleter: haha
TheDeleter: grow taller (also mutant)
Gooper Blooper: http://i.imgur.com/RgL0D.jpg
Gooper Blooper: (simulated imagery)
Gooper Blooper: http://i1237.photobucket.com/albums/ff474/ditoman92/smokey.jpg
TheDeleter: get yo smokey on
TheDeleter: mo money less problems
Gooper Blooper: http://i.imgur.com/VoUMI.png
Gooper Blooper: http://i.imgur.com/BrjRI.png
TheDeleter: unknown species
TheDeleter: fuck that
TheDeleter: that ain't unknown
TheDeleter: that's getthefuckoutofchinaius weareallfuckedus
OrkzOrkzOrkz: DAMNIT
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Almost beat Tigger
Gooper Blooper: http://i1249.photobucket.com/albums/hh519/Superchops/catchthemouse.jpg
TheDeleter: worst game ever
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Eff lost again
TheDeleter: XD
Gooper Blooper: I think what I like most about the "catch the mouse" flash game is the options at the bottom
Gooper Blooper: Like the instructions page for when the directions are already there on the main screen
Gooper Blooper: And the high scores list that is presumably nothing but "2" over and over
SteelKomodo: that is bad design, right there
Gooper Blooper: I'd say the odds of those links not doing what they say and all of them just taking you to an adware site are about, oh, 110 percent
TheDeleter joined the chat 14 minutes ago
TheDeleter: 112% per cent
---
Harpy: i have wobbly hands from playing too much Kid Icarus
Harpy: goddamn it Pit stop being so charming
Gooper Blooper: haha
SteelKomodo: XD
Harpy: and now he has to slay a phoenix
SteelKomodo: Hey, he can't help it if the ladies want him!
Harpy: not sure how Alex will feel about that
Gooper Blooper: When he kills it
Gooper Blooper: Does that mean the Phoenix is Down
SteelKomodo: oh lawd that mission
Harpy: *ba dum TING*
---
Gooper Blooper: But are you ready
Gooper Blooper: for Shit That Didn't Happen: The Ad
SteelKomodo changed name to TheKing
TheKing: OAH YES
TheKing changed name to SteelKomodo
SteelKomodo: i have seen varations of that ad
Harpy: what
SteelKomodo: don't ask me why or how, but I have seen them
Gooper Blooper: Think about it
SteelKomodo: and they are, indeed, the epitome of ShitThatDidntHappen.txt
Gooper Blooper: On this mysterious dating site, women greatly outnumber men
Gooper Blooper: They even make the women pay to join while men get in free
Gooper Blooper: And still girls everywhere
Harpy: that body is way too thin, how is it even supporting her chest- wait uhm that wasn't it? D:
Gooper Blooper: Please help them unload their wimmenz
SteelKomodo: nope
Harpy: there are women on the internet?
Gooper Blooper: Oh, Ariel would probably throw a fit
SteelKomodo: ba dum tish
Gooper Blooper: Pretty sure Harpy missed the RALLY FOR REALITY
Harpy: pretty sure i did .n.
Harpy: and every time I hear ariel, I keep thinking of the mermaid
SteelKomodo: yeah, that was a thing
Gooper Blooper: Ariel, Sarah's younger sister, is a big activist
Harpy: goddamn it disney
Gooper Blooper: She did a thing in ZFRP where she campaigned against body image stereotypes
Gooper Blooper: Jonesy helped
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Every time
TheDeleter: she did
Harpy: nice
TheDeleter: it was cool
SteelKomodo: Speaking of the Sarahkin, make sure Gloria doesn't find the Dirktionary.
SteelKomodo: Or everything will be wrong.
Harpy: pretty sure Stella would have joined in too if she wasn't busy being Empress
Harpy: or rallying grown up corgis
SteelKomodo: Corgi races
SteelKomodo: and the Tarkatans bet on who will win
TheDeleter: a corgi army
Harpy: corgi sleigh
Harpy: STELLA IS MRS. CLAUS
Gooper Blooper: Nicky-poo and Stel-Stel riding a giant corgi
SteelKomodo: Holy shit, it works
Gooper Blooper: INTO BATTLE
SteelKomodo: because Nick's surname is Winter
Harpy: Stel-stel better wear her best fairy outfit then
Harpy: its been said the fey once used corgis as steeds
---
OrkzOrkzOrkz: The wonderful thing about Tiggers
OrkzOrkzOrkz: is that TIGGERS USE MORE GODDAMN PERFORMANCE ENHANCERS THAN THE ENTIRE MLB
Gooper Blooper: HOOHOOHOOHOOOOO~!
---
Gooper Blooper: GREEN MARIO
SteelKomodo: "Damn you, Short Luigi!"
TheDeleter: Its close enough
---
OrkzOrkzOrkz: Jack Bauer, Jack Sparrow, and Jack Black starring in . .
OrkzOrkzOrkz: YOU DON'T KNOW JACK
Harpy: ...terrible D:
---
TheDeleter: time to fight tigger
SteelKomodo: gl D:
Harpy: gl indeed
TheDeleter: that was a dumb idea
TheDeleter: never mind
TheDeleter: fuck tigger
TheDeleter: Winnie the Pooh's Home Run Buttsex
Harpy: D:
TheDeleter: i would indeed compare the experience of baseball against tigger to anal violation
---
TheDeleter: if there's a fighting-type evolution for eevee it's gotta be called champeon
SteelKomodo: ...YES
---
Gooper Blooper: BABBY PIT CANNOT FLY
Gooper Blooper: :<
SteelKomodo: :<
Harpy: :c
TheDeleter: :£
Gooper Blooper: YOU ARE A TOY YOU CAN'T FLY
Harpy: nooo
Gooper Blooper: annnnd he'll go saillllliiiinnnnnnng nooooo morrrrrrrre
Harpy: i can't help but imagine Pit desperately trying to find a way to fly
Harpy: and asking Palutena for help
Harpy: then she gives him a hangglider
Gooper Blooper: ACME Rocket Jetpack
SteelKomodo: Trollutena D:<
SteelKomodo: aw damnit, goops, that song made me sad :<
Harpy: ...not sure which one would result in more hillarity: the jetpack or the hangglider
Gooper Blooper: hangglider jetpack
Harpy: ...oh jesus
Gooper Blooper: oh I know
Gooper Blooper: she gives him a propellor beanie
Harpy: ...
Harpy: "To celebrate you becoming the captain of my guard, here, have this"
Harpy: *beanie*
Gooper Blooper: the best perk
Harpy: "...aren't you supposed to give me a laurel? D: "
SteelKomodo: :3
Gooper Blooper: Alex Triden knows that feel
Harpy: yep
---
TheDeleter joined the chat
TheDeleter: a wild del appears
TheDeleter: to
TheDeleter: thunderous applause?
SteelKomodo joined the chat
SteelKomodo applauds thunderously
TheDeleter: =D
---
Saberwulf: Agghh shit why is it so hard to find in-depth stuff about the /actual/ Arthur Avalon
TheDeleter: because
TheDeleter: because
Saberwulf: I need to know so many things before I completely ignore everything he was important for
TheDeleter: his actual name was john woodroffe, right?
Saberwulf: Yep
Saberwulf: Brought Tantric Buddhism to the west
Saberwulf: I actually found out about him years ago because I searched up what "tantra" meant (I did not come up the the surname Tantra)
TheDeleter: i still don't know what tantra means :P
Gooper Blooper: I believe it means "Motherfucking"
TheDeleter: google tells me tantra is "the hottest, sexiest nightclub in Nottingham"
TheDeleter: appropriate somehow?
Saberwulf: Tantra means... It's complicated because Hindu Buddhism is always complicated, but from what I've read over the years it's kind of like this: While regular Buddhism is usually about being neutral and letting the wheels turn, Tantric Buddhism is about doing concrete things
TheDeleter: yeah, wikipedia said "welp we can't define this" pretty much
Saberwulf: Also yeah, that is actually appropriate because Tantric buddhism extends to sex, which pissed the English the hell off because they were prudes
SteelKomodo: TANTRAAAAAA D:<
Saberwulf: Ergo, the Arthur Avalon pseudonym because Woodroffe was also a judge
Gooper Blooper: So THAT'S why Jaxx was linked with Buddhism
Saberwulf: Yep.
TheDeleter: to be fair wikipedia claims that said rites are not only really rare, but also fucked up
Saberwulf: Yeah, the sex was a rare thing. it's really a lot more about doing yoga. Though when it had a resurgance in the west everyone latched onto the sex thing and amalgamated it with Kama Sutra
SteelKomodo: Jaxx doing Yoga?
TheDeleter: proving once more that western society is kinda fucked in the head
Gooper Blooper: He was doing yoga occasionally there
TheDeleter: i mean i love it because freedom, but man
Gooper Blooper: And then he'd swear and that would fuck him up
Saberwulf: I loved doing that gag
SteelKomodo: pfffft
Gooper Blooper: "shit" *plop* "DAMMIT"
Saberwulf: "I'm gonna be a Buddha!" "No you're not" "Fuck you snake—" *crash*
TheDeleter: In her tame, relaxed years after the Bar, Jonesy took up yoga
TheDeleter: at least that's what i say and what i say goes damn it :I
Gooper Blooper: Jaxx doing yoga, okay
Gooper Blooper: JONESY doing yoga sounds NUTS
Gooper Blooper: how can she sit still long enough
TheDeleter: "Why am I doing this? ...and why do I continue to do it?"
Gooper Blooper: If she's not setting something on fire or frolicking in the chocolate fountain she's generally asleep
Saberwulf: Jonesy is attempting to be the typical mid-2000's mom, that's why
Gooper Blooper: but I guess Conrad
Gooper Blooper: that would help
Saberwulf: "My son is good at soccer!" "Ma'am, he scored a goal that lit the net on fire while yelling, and I quote, blood and thunder."
TheDeleter: both of those
Saberwulf: "Your husband then flipped a bleacher when a parent tried to fight him."
TheDeleter: "Just because my son is objectively better than everyone else's son, doesn't mean he did anything wrong :I"
TheDeleter: "Also your bleachers are shit."
Gooper Blooper: "Please refrain from participating in future Bring Your Pet To School Days."
Saberwulf: Hahaha
TheDeleter: "Son, when you get older, your body undergoes some changes, and you start having urges to fold space-time. Puberty is gonna look like small fry compared to that."
---
Gooper Blooper: I'M NOT MICKEY
Gooper Blooper: I'M MY OWN ORIGINAL CHARACTER BLICKEY
SteelKomodo: oh lawd what D:
Saberwulf: I could probably buy a shipping container of those on Alibaba
Saberwulf: I don't have any idea what I'd do with it, but I'd have a shipping container of knock-off mickeys
Gooper Blooper: "David, why the hell did you order a gross of purple-headed Mickeys?" "Because, sir Chesterfield, you never know when you need a purple-headed Mickey or two hundred."
Saberwulf: He melts the heads down to get the tone right on his new Rain outfit
TheDeleter: If he wishes hard enough, he will BECOME Rain.
Gooper Blooper: Add a little red paint and bingo, Headless Mickey stickers
TheDeleter: Just like Cosmo </terrypratchet>
SteelKomodo: XD
Gooper Blooper: "The ancient denizens of the Hub used every part of the vinyl sticker."
---
Saberwulf: Chet looked at the colorful, UV-stained outfits as they walked next to the line. "So why couldn't we hear or see this place until we stepped through that alley? The glow at least would be visible from the air."
David was now King Rain. Somehow. "Magic, yo." He wiggled his arms out in the air, spraying a shower of tiny golden sparkles while whistling It's Raining Men.
Chet slowly turned his head forward, deciding it was best not to ask too many questions.
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