TheDeleter: meanwhile my sniper at the back just facepalms
Saberwulf: Hahaha
SteelKomodo: XD
SteelKomodo: Team K.o.B. - they kick ass even when panicking
SteelKomodo: and Santos is the only sane guy
TheDeleter: that's XCOM!
---
GB: Let the record show that I will always suck at Donkey Kong no matter what system it is on
---
GB: You know what's wonderful? Atari game manuals.
GB: "How many of you out there have always longed to be a pinball wizard? It's a good bet that some of the places you had to go to play a game of pinball weren't the most comfortable for you. Well, relax. Since you were wise enough to invest in this ATARI (r) VIDEO PINBALL TM Game Program TM, you'll never have to worry about being at places with that kind of unsavoury atmosphere again."
GB: "VIDEO PINBALL has the challenge and the excitement of standard pinball games, and it doesn't have any idea what a quarter is. So not only are you spared the unpleasant task of stuffing quarters into hungry machines, you have the comfort and the well-being of your home. What more could a pinball enthusiast ask for? And as for you pinball wizards, don't think you can master this one lickety-split. It'll be a while before your wiz rating is restored and in full swing."
SteelKomodo: pfffffft wat
GB: "Just in case you're a pinball rookie, there's only one thing you need to know. You're going to love it. You may have stayed away from the more traditional places of pinball habitation in the past, but now you're going to see why so many other people have gone goofy with "pinball madness". As a matter of fact, you'll probably catch the fever yourself within about 20 minutes."
GB: "So take a deep breath, turn up the stereo, and jump right into VIDEO PINBALL. One more thing. Better get yourself a piggy bank for all those quarters you're going to save."
RedSpy: Game manuals today
RedSpy: "THANK YOU FOR BUYING HAVE SOME ADS"
RedSpy: "ALSO THE CONTROL STICK MOVES, YA GOBSHITE"
GB: And then you actually turn on VIDEO PINBALL
GB: And you get this
GB: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEuNpdB_3E0
SteelKomodo: to be fair
SteelKomodo: that is how most of my pinball games go
GB: Oh yeah, I understand the limitations of the time, I just love how they talk it up
TheDeleter: that's hilarious
TheDeleter: like
TheDeleter: the ball touches the flippers maybe once or twice
GB: If you toggle the difficulty switch on the console two more holes open up!
GB: BETTER WATCH OUT
TheDeleter: oh god!
TheDeleter: that's too many nooooo
TheDeleter: how will i ever cope?
---
RedSpy: Remember when the purpose of the select button was selecting things?
GB: (of course it is SK I'm being silly)
RedSpy: Now its just start button's ugly cousin who he has to bring to every party
GB: That is the best description of Select
TheDeleter: select never did anything man, what a freeloader
---
TheDeleter: i guess
TheDeleter: hmm
TheDeleter: how about
TheDeleter: in my spare time
TheDeleter: i do an xcom LP
TheDeleter: to show you what all the fuss is about
GB: be careful
GB: An LP has yet to be finished in the dark circles of blogdom
RedSpy: And I shall RP as Colonel Fluffybritches, the manliest pajama-wearer in space
GB: I'LL INTRODUCE SARAH
GB: AND HER FAMILY
TheDeleter: no rp >=(
GB: :<
GB: (XD)
---
GB: The way I'm envisioning SaRahPG
GB: You know how in Paper Mario TTYD it went "Mario part, Pech part, Bowser part"?
GB: I'm trying to do something like that
RedSpy: mhm
GB: Peach, not Pech
GB: Pech would have slaughtered the X-Nauts
---
RedSpy: Sup Del
RedSpy: . . . Wait did I miss Pharms
TheDeleter: yes you did
TheDeleter: you missed the pharms
RedSpy: D:
---
GB: Donkey Kong: 24500
RedSpy: Nice
GB: That was like my best Donkey Kong run ever
GB: Although, you know how the NES version left out a level?
GB: The Atari version leaves out two levels
RedSpy: ???
GB: It just goes back and forth between the famous girders stage and the "final" stage where you have to run over every platform to make DK fall
RedSpy: Ouch
RedSpy: At least 75m no longer haunts us XD
GB: Yeah, no music!
GB: And DK looks hilariously terrible and Mario is wearing pink
RedSpy: Wat
RedSpy: Pics
GB: http://videogamecritic.net/images/2600/donkey_kong.png
GB: Also DK doesn't roll the barrels, they just appear
RedSpy: . . . Is that DK
RedSpy: Or is that the monster from the Godzilla creepypasta
RedSpy: I can't eventell
RedSpy: Also, those barrels are cookies
GB: Of course it's DK! It's obviously DK!
GB: These graphics are cutting edge!
---
GB: https://www.mobygames.com/images/covers/large/1199718400-00.jpg
GB: "Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?"
RedSpy: XD
GB: Also available for Atari is a game called "King Kong"
GB: I think the graphics are even worse
GB: http://videogamecritic.net/images/2600/king_kong.png
RedSpy: What
---
RedSpy: I think we might have the Sents fight tomorrow
Erebus: Excellent.
Erebus: I'll be there for some funtimes.
RedSpy: I read that as furnitures
Erebus: Well, that too, of course.
---
The Party joined the chat
SteelKomodo: hello spy
TheDeleter: the party has arrived
The Party: . . . Oh come on how did you know D:
TheDeleter: red title text?
TheDeleter: plus you're, like, the only one who does this
The Party: Touche
---
Phone: . . . Holy fuck I DID IT
Phone: I BEAT SUPRA MAYRO KRATT
Phone: I HAVE NO IDEA HOW
Phone: BUT I DID
SteelKomodo: and what was your reward?
Phone: An ugly ass mugshot of
SteelKomodo: XD:
---
Phone: http://theyfightcrime.org/
GB: "He's a globe-trotting flyboy dwarf who hides his scarred face behind a mask. She's a hard-bitten African-American femme fatale with a song in her heart and a spring in her step. They fight crime!"
GB: So... David and Ulrika?
TheDeleter: haha
Phone: My god
---
Erebus: "He's a scrappy voodoo grifter who hangs with the wrong crowd. She's a vivacious blonde detective married to the Mob. They fight crime!"
Erebus: I'd read that.
TheDeleter: That'd be awesome
GB: "He's an impetuous moralistic senator searching for his wife's true killer. She's a scantily clad belly-dancing lawyer with a knack for trouble. They fight crime!"
GB: I don't even
---
GB: There's an Atari compilation of games for PC called Stella Gets A New Brain
GB: gets me every time
Phone: . . . Wat
TheDeleter: ruined forever i say
GB: It has to do with the fact that all the games in the compilation are games that originally loaded from cassette
GB: Thereby giving the Atari more RAM
SteelKomodo: XD
GB: And as we learned the other day, the Atari was called Stella when it was in development
GB: stellaaaaaa
---
SteelKomodo: I don't need the They Fight Crime generator
SteelKomodo: I already made one - it's Pit's T.V. Show
GB: I think you could get a pretty good They Fight Crime generator by combining two random ZFRP characters
GB: "He's a shy but courageous knight with an idiot hair. She's a tough-as-nails armored soldier with a space marine husband. They fight crime!"
SteelKomodo: "He's a happy-go-lucky angel with a successful acting career. She's a cyborg on the run from a shady organization. They- wait a minute..."
GB: "He's a snake-toungued bastard with a heart of gold locked away deep down inside. She's a sassy eight-foot-tall praying mantis with a pet stag beetle who gives no fucks. They fight crime!"
TheDeleter: whooo
SteelKomodo: "He's a gentlemanly walrus who runs a booming theatre. She's a cheery white mage with a hammer and a lot of money. They buy out crime!"
GB: A bad guy loses because we buy his fortress and hire all of his soldiers
GB: "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SPREAD MISERY AND PAIN!" "But Triden gives us dental!"
SteelKomodo: XD
Phone: "He's a reformed Wily-bot with a claw full of ammo and a fan for a face. She's a cheerful sniper who's friends with a Demon Prince. Together, they fight crime and bug Sine."
Phone: "It rhymes! Sorta!"
---
SteelKomodo: Del and I get called Tom and Jerry sometimes
TheDeleter: we do
SteelKomodo: no prizes for guessing who the Tom was
---
TheDeleter: THE BEEGEES
TheDeleter: DEAR GOD SPY
TheDeleter: WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING
Phone: HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THE WORDS
Phone: HE'S LITERALLY JUST SAYING "MUMBLING"
---
Phone: First five minutes of the debate: "I am Mitt Romney and there are terrorists in the middle east"
Saberwulf: Hahahaha
TheDeleter: well that sure is an opener
---
Erebus: So, what's up?
GB: Putting some final touches on the boxart
Erebus: Hell yeah \m/
GB: Aw damn, turns out if you bought the game new it came with a free poster
GB: http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Games/F/Final%20Fantasy%20The%204%20Heroes%20of%20Light/Everything%20Else/4%20Heroes%20Packaged%20LE%20Poster--article_image.jpg
GB: Maybe I could just print my own damn poster, WHAT THEN SQUARE?!
GB: (Having a printer again for the first time since 2003 really opens up new realms)
Erebus: That's insane! Unthinkable! Why, you could print anything.
GB: mother of god
GB: I posted earlier that I bought some Atari games online for cheap recently, and they were extra cheap because they don't have labels
GB: so I'm going to print new labels
GB: I don't have any, like, sticker paper or whatever though so tape will have to do
Erebus: Beware, though. The longer you gaze into the abyss, the more it gazes into you. The very toner of your soul could be stained!
Erebus: *Tone
Erebus: ....Actually, no, that typo needs to stay I think.
GB: yeah I was gonna say
---
GB: Four Heroes gets a case because I bought it as just a cartridge
GB: GameStop displays only the carts of some DS games to save space
Erebus: Hell yeah, that works then!
GB: When I bought it they just took some other game's paper envelope and plopped it in
GB: Mine says "Hannah Montana"
GB: I am not keeping Four Heroes of Light in a paper envelope marked "Hannah Montana".
Erebus: No, that would just be cruel, almost.
GB: Josephine's been through enough, dammit ;~;
---
GB: Looks like everybody's here 'cept Wulf
SteelKomodo: yep
RedSpy: The gang's all here
Pharmacy: now all we need to do is break out in song
---
GB: And now
GB: The World's Biggest Pac-Man
GB: http://worldsbiggestpacman.com/
SteelKomodo: woah
SteelKomodo: that is a big pac-man
GB: the world's biggest
GB: Tired of playing the same maze over and over?
GB: NOW YOU WILL NEVER RUN OUT OF MAZES
SteelKomodo: woot!
---
GB: We could PM right here in the Chatzy if we were Mr Moneybags Premium Users
GB: but we're not
GB: so we can't
TheDeleter: moneeeeeeeeeeey
SteelKomodo: screw premium, I has internets
GB: THE CHATZY KRAB, COME SPEND YOUR MONEY HERE
TheDeleter: XD
SteelKomodo: XD
GB: Annnnd now I'm imagining Sarah, Widow Maker, and Celestia acting out the ad
GB: god dammit
GB: "I'VE GOT ALL THIS ~MONEY~ AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT"
SteelKomodo: Pit can sympathise
SteelKomodo: "SUDDENLY I'M RICH"
---
GB: Dr. Rabbit's found his next patient
TheDeleter: hahaha
TheDeleter: oh dear lawd
SteelKomodo: R.I.P Doctor Rabbit
SteelKomodo: The world will thank Destoroyah for this.
---
Saberwulf: "Oi, your kid smells like infinity and peach cobbler, love!"
SteelKomodo: pfffft, Peach cobbler
GB: Can I just say
TheDeleter: "Oh, uh, the peach is his bath lotion. Kind on the skin."
GB: I love the "you smell like" running gag
SteelKomodo: XD
GB: "Oi, what smells like cupcakes and magic- oh hi Sarah"
Saberwulf: I adore doing it. It's just the creepiest fucking thing that Jaxx is constantly sniffing people
Saberwulf: David does it too, but much less.
Saberwulf: Funfact: Magic smells like tangerines because that sounds like Octarine
TheDeleter: hahaha
TheDeleter: terry pratchett whoo
SteelKomodo: woooo
Saberwulf: The Hub is like a fucking Yankee Candle expo for Jaxx and David
GB: "I CAN SMELL FOREVER"
---
GB: Just got a spam email from someone named Josephine
Saberwulf: Hahahahhaha
SteelKomodo: XD
Saberwulf: Only 13 years too late
RedSpy: pffft
GB: If only it was about weight loss. Instead it's about auto warranties
Saberwulf: Josephine now works at a car dealership
GB: Mechanicsephine
GB: That bag is great for holding tools
Saberwulf: Selling cars that Ariel highly disproves of with all their CO2
GB: Josephine: "Now, what we really need to do is upgrade the horsepower on this baby! MORE POWER ARGH AR AR"
GB: Ariel: "I don't think so, Josephine."
GB: Also who is Dave McIsaac and why does he think I use LinkedIn
Saberwulf: Why do I know that name
GB: I know, the name threw me off too
Saberwulf: Ah, that's why. Dave McIsaac is a violin player
RedSpy: I was reading an LP of Monster Rancher DS for some reason and have horrifying news
RedSpy: The NPCs in that game can do the SarahShake
GB: AH HA
GB: I KNEW IT
Saberwulf: COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT
SteelKomodo: SarahShake?
RedSpy: You know, that thing where she seems to just tremble in place
SteelKomodo: ah
RedSpy: Like she's about to explode
GB: That thing where she clutches her face in excitement and shakes
RedSpy: http://lparchive.org/Monster-Rancher-DS/
GB: okay I just figured out why I knew the name Dave McIsaac
GB: That's the name of a guy on the Zoofights staff
Saberwulf: Motherfucker that's right
Saberwulf: That's uhhhh
Saberwulf: shit
GB: See, at the end of ZF5 I wound up in the ZF inner circle
SteelKomodo: oh boy
GB: And I was privy to some emails about the creation of the final
RedSpy: http://lparchive.org/Monster-Rancher-DS/Update%2003/11-monster-rancher-ds13240323.gif Copyright infringement . . . IN DOUBLE
GB: That's how I got that "bonus arena image" in there
RedSpy: Ooh, nice
GB: All right I have figured it all out
Saberwulf: Isn't Dave McIsaac Gravitas?
GB: By looking through the old emails I have determined that Dave McIsaac is
GB: Jazzbanjo
Saberwulf: Ah
GB: You may know him as EnforcerWolf
SteelKomodo: eyo
SteelKomodo: its jazzbanjo- D:
Saberwulf: Hahahaha
Saberwulf: That's fantastic
---
Erebus rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 10
Erebus rolled a die with 100 sides. The die showed: 57
Erebus rolled a die with 1000 sides. The die showed: 729
Erebus rolled a die with 1000000 sides. The die showed: 573844
Erebus rolled a die with 1000000000 sides. The die showed: 239945271
Erebus: Well, good to know.
SteelKomodo: pffft, what are you doing, bus XD
Erebus: I HAF NO IDEA
---
GB: Farmed for gems in Four Heroes today
GB: Trying to raise equipment levels so the tower enemies aren't such enormous dicks
SteelKomodo: ah
GB: Fortunately enemies outside the bonus towers are weaker than those inside, even if it's the same monster
SteelKomodo: that's helpful
GB: Take the Lizardhawk, for instance - a bipedal lizard with a sword and helmet
SteelKomodo: GRIND AWAAAAAAY
GB: Outside the towers he's a pussy
RedSpy: Fight any other tower bosses yet?
GB: Inside the towers he hits like a truck and gets to attack twice
GB: Only minibosses
GB: The first tower, that I've finished, was desert-based
GB: The second one, I'm on floor 10, it's like a giant tree
GB: Third one is called "Strange Lighthouse" - it's inside the horn of the whale
GB: Haven't found the fourth one yet
RedSpy: obviously its locked until the other 3 are done
RedSpy: And its full of Rolan
RedSpy: MAYBE THE TOWER IS ROLAN
GB: It's beginning to look a lot like Rolan
GB: Kiiiiings on everrry flooooooor
SteelKomodo: oh boy
GB: There's a Rolan in the hotel
GB: One in the park as well
---
Erebus: ....Norn learns to cook, Sarah is too polite not to eat her ovenmade abominations.
Erebus: "YEAH IT'S TOTALLY GREAT *BLURK*"
Saberwulf: Haha
TheDeleter: the sausages are still screaming pleas to end it all
Erebus: The cornbread muffins are made of neither corn nor bread.
Erebus: Just pain.
Erebus: "THIS IS GREAT NORN THEY'RE BURNT AND RAW *GLORK*"
Saberwulf: Chet stands to the side, his Nebraskan pride weeping at such a misuse of corn products
---
Saberwulf: "So wait, what do you do with all the corn if you don't put it in food products, use it for fuel, oil or even decoration?" "Corn? Bloody hell, we don't even grow the stuff in the Hub!"
Chet's farmer's tan went pale as the words hammered into his mind.
No. Corn. Products.
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