Chatzy Madness Volume 14: Meet the Kobbers

GB: so how about that small town sports team
GB: I hear they're having some trouble with that other rival small town sports team
RedSpy: Indeed
RedSpy: Indeed
RedSpy: Especially that
RedSpy: BIG, RIVAL sports team
GB: There was a game last night
GB: went into overtime
RedSpy: Oh, really?
RedSpy: What did the loveable yet easily distracted ref do?
GB: I was excited to see if Small Town Sports Team had what it took
GB: Well someone bumped into him and he fell like he'd been shot
RedSpy: I hate it when that happens
GB: That allowed Rival Small Town Sports Team to take out a steel chair
GB: he banged it against the ground a few times
RedSpy: Oh god no
GB: presumably to show how the steel chair was indeed a real chair
GB: STEEL CHAIR
GB: RHYMES WITH
GB: REAL CHAIR
RedSpy: PFFFFFFFFT
RedSpy: Perfect timing

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RedSpy: So, who is Godzilla
GB: Some say he was mutated by toxic waste and turned into a pigeon
GB: Others say he's just a weird old man in a pigeon suit
GB: Who knows? I don't
RedSpy: My god
RedSpy: Its all so clear now
RedSpy: SOYLENT GREEN IS WHEATLEY
GB: But Fuzzy Slippers tells me on dark nights you can hear him squawking with the pigeons

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GB: Sarah: I am Heavy Weapons Mage, and this is my weapon. *thor's hammer*
GB: "She weighs twenty kilograms and fires two million volts of electricity per minute."
GB: "It costs four hundred thousand dollars to feed me... for twelve seconds."
RedSpy: PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT
GB: "Oh my god, who touched Thor's Hammer?!"
GB: "All right... WHO TOUCHED MY HAMMER?!"
GB: "Some people think they can outsmart me."
GB: "Maybe."
GB: *sniff*
GB: "Maybe."
GB: "I've yet to meet one who can outsmart Holy."
GB: "WAHHHHHHHH! UWAHHHHHHHH! AAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!​ CRY SOME MORRRRRRE!" *shooting thunderbolts into crowd*
GB: "Heheh... cry some more."

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GB: Antoinette: "Sniping's an AWESOME job!"
RedSpy: So Sarah is the Heavy (pffft)
RedSpy: Antoinette's the Sniper
RedSpy: Who else . . .
GB: "It's challenging work, outdoors, and I guarantee you'll never go hungry!"
GB: "Because in the Warhammerverse, somebody wants someone dead!"
GB: "Pech? Pech, I'm not a 'crazed gunman', Pech, I'm an assassin!"
GB: "...Well the difference is one's a job and the other's a mental sickness!"
GB: "I'll be honest with you: Pech does NOT care for it."
RedSpy: pffffffffft
GB: "...I think his friend saw me."
GB: "YEAH HE DID, OOPS"
RedSpy: "My daughter sshould NOT be throwing . . . THAT at people!"
RedSpy: "And the Razorback iss a HORRIBLE sself defensse system!"
GB: "Feelings? Look, you know who has a lot of feelings?"
GB: "Mean people who yell a lot! Professionals have standards." *proud pose*
GB: "Be polite!"
GB: "Be efficent!"
GB: "And have a plan to befriend EVERYONE you meet!"
GB: "Pech... Pech... Pech, put Eshe on the phone!"

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GB: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zm1_zBSUYFc
GB: Celestia: "Okay, listen closely, dear. I'm an Engineer."
RedSpy: So THAT'S who the female classes are
RedSpy: The Bargoers
GB: "That means I solve problems."
GB: "Not problems like 'what is beauty?' because I've forgotten about keeping myself pretty until recently, hmhmhm!"
GB: "I solve practical problems."
GB: *Celestia sips Bacchus' Wine while Skeiron attacks Artemis*
GB: "For instance, how do I stop some big mean no-good from killing my children?"
GB: "The answer? Use a gun."
GB: "And if that doesn't work..."
GB: *ED-209*
GB: "Use more gun."
GB: "Like this class A WarMech unit designed by me..."
GB: "Built by me..."
GB: "And hopefully not pointed at you! Hmhmhmhm!"
RedSpy: pfffffft nice

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GB: *Shot of Gezora's fridge*
GB: *There is a Black Legend inside*
RedSpy: MEET THE BLACK LEGEND?
GB: Sarah: *groaning in pain*
GB: Garland: THERE SHE IS!
GB: Tiamat: "You! Stop right where you are, that is an order! She's getting away! Do not let her get to the re-"
GB: *Sarah grabs the Black Legend*
GB: Garland: DON'T YOU DARE!
GB: Tiamat: DO NOT DO IT!
GB: Sarah: *om nom nom*
GB: Tiamat: Ohhhhhh, hell.
GB: Garland: Okay, hold on, we can work something out if we- OH GOD
GB: *Sarah giggles*
GB: Garland: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY G-"
GB: "MY BLOOD! SHE SMASHED OUT ALL MY BLOOD!!"
GB: Tiamat: You call that breaking my neck?! You pathetic Light Warriors wouldn't know how to break a neck if-"
GB: "AAAAAAGH MY NEEEEEECK"
GB: *Cut to Sarah eating*
GB: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3853FW88kHQ

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GB: I know what to do
GB: TO RANDOM.ORG
RedSpy: I have a bad feeling about this
GB: Celestia X Lotta
RedSpy: . . . Oh god
RedSpy: Its bar crackships again?
GB: Closet Monster X Cagnazzo
GB: Beer Garden Frogs X Burton Cummings
GB: Jonah X Rainbow Dash
GB: Wheatley X New Marlinnium
RedSpy: PFFFFFFFFT
RedSpy: This is Deluxe Edition, looks like
GB: Wukong X Missingno
GB: For the second time, Sister Alice and Dirk Pat
GB: It's meant to be
RedSpy: Oh god
GB: Morgana X Operative 4
GB: Doomrider X Stag Beetle
GB: Lord of the Night X Rafflesia
RedSpy: Doomrider X Stag Beetle
RedSpy: Best ship
GB: Stella X Nepeta
GB: Cocytus X Optimus
GB: Purnima X Discord
GB: Nostro X Widow Maker
GB: August X Sakura Atari
GB: The loner is Clippy
RedSpy: D:
RedSpy: Who did the ro-bros get?
GB: Eddie X Wall
GB: Zephyrus X Designate
GB: Oceanus X Wily
GB: amazing
RedSpy: . . . MY BRAIN ;A;
GB: Gust X Saguaro PI
GB: Kirby X Spy
GB: Lightwing X Alex Triden
GB: Ariel X ROB
GB: Gloria X Shao Kahn
GB: Josephine X Tut-Tut
RedSpy: Fun fact: Gloria wears the pants in that relationship
GB: Sarah X Charizard
GB: Father Squid X Jonesy
GB: Pech X Pit
GB: Antoinette X Custard Kittens
GB: "KITTIES"
GB: Yahoo Bot X Dr. Hanz
GB: Dr. Bulgrave X Ogopogo
GB: And finally, Hella Jeff X Major Failure

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GB: Ariel has a megaphone now, we're all doomed
TheDeleter: oh dear god no

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GB: Ariel is so pumped
GB: all the time
TheDeleter: hell yeah
GB: "Sarah how are you today" "I recycled some newspapers today" "METAL"
TheDeleter: xD

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Erebus joined the chat
Erebus: LIKE A FUCKING PHOENIX I ARISE ONCE MORE
TheDeleter: EREBUUUUS
TheDeleter: :D
RedSpy: . . .Who the hell are you?
TheDeleter: :DDD
RedSpy: Never seen you before
SteelKomodo: YAAAAAAY
RedSpy: Welcome to the forum
TheDeleter: :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
TheDeleter: XD spy
SteelKomodo: Woah calm down del XD
TheDeleter: you so craycray
Erebus: Holy FUCK this has been an absolute shit week, but goddamnit I AM BACK AND READY TO PRETEND TO BE THINGS ON THE INTERNET
TheDeleter: welcome back erebus
TheDeleter: :3

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TheDeleter: when are you next free, bus?
TheDeleter: when are you next free, bus?
TheDeleter: del has decided to talk to the country bumpkins
SteelKomodo: DELCEPTION
Erebus: Tomorrow I only work until 4 my time, so that'd work.
TheDeleter: awesome
Erebus: Hell yeah
TheDeleter: and your double is fine because i have to get up on wednesday
TheDeleter: and your double is fine because i have to get up on wednesday
TheDeleter: goddamn it
Erebus: Double doubles
TheDeleter: and your double is fine because i have to get up on wednesday
TheDeleter: chatzy y u so buggy
TheDeleter: TRIPLES
TheDeleter: FUUUUUUUUU
RedSpy changed name to TheDeIeter
TheDeleter: Wha
SteelKomodo: Oh noes D:
TheDeIeter: and your double is fine because i have to get up on wednesday
TheDeleter: stop that
TheDeleter: >:I
TheDeIeter: Okay, okay
TheDeIeter changed name to SteeIKomodo
SteelKomodo must fetch his brain from that corner now.
SteelKomodo: Don't you start, Spy >:|
SteeIKomodo: Fine
SteeIKomodo changed name to G8
SteelKomodo: STEEL KOMODO IS SPY
TheDeleter: SPYCHECK
SteelKomodo: SPY IN OUR MIDST, MEN
Erebus: OH GOD
G8: Hey guys! Its me, Gooper Blooper!
G8: Sunshine and happiness and squee!
SteelKomodo: XD
G8 changed name to Erebuz
TheDeleter: ITS LIKE HES REALLY THERE
Erebuz: Pah. We have no use for such things in the 40th milennia
Erebuz: There is only pain and screaming and torment
Erebuz: And kittens. Yessss.
Erebuz: Kittens are the most metal creatures on Earth, they say
Erebuz changed name to ImpersonationsByRedSpy
TheDeleter: hahahahaha
Erebus: XD
GB joined the chat
ImpersonationsByRedSpy changed name to G8
G8: SO
G8: WE MEET AGAIN
G8: BROTHER
SteelKomodo: Round 1
SteelKomodo: FIGHT!
TheDeleter: oh lawd
TheDeleter: hey goops
GB changed name to RedSpy
G8: D:
G8: A coup!
RedSpy: MEGA MAN
RedSpy: VALVE
RedSpy: GLORIA
SteelKomodo: XD
RedSpy: DEAD ROBOT MASTERS
G8: HAPPINESS
Erebus: Pffffft
G8: CHEERFUL CHARACTERS
G8 changed name to GB
TheDeleter changed name to Sabrewulf
GB: YOU LEFT YOURSELF OPEN
Sabrewulf: oi
Sabrewulf: git
Sabrewulf: lass
Sabrewulf: tat
Sabrewulf: mate
RedSpy: EVERYTHING ZEPHYRUS TOUCHES DIES
GB: MY VILLAINS SHALL KICK ALL THE PUPPIES
GB: ALSO, SARAH WILL DEMOLISH YOUR CAKES
GB: ALL OF THEM
RedSpy: NIGHTMARE SEQUENCE
GB: GODZILLA
Sabrewulf: um
Sabrewulf: insult cornwind
SteelKomodo: DONKEY!
Sabrewulf: mma
GB: WHO SHOULD I BE TODAY CHATZY?
Sabrewulf: drugs
Sabrewulf: um
Owlmaton joined the chat 2 minutes ago
Sabrewulf: oi git lass tat mate
Owlmaton: Hoot
Owlmaton: I did things
Owlmaton: And then left a hole in your lives
GB asked Chatzy to choose between Zilla, King Kong, Bagan, Battra and Kamacuras. Chatzy chose: Bagan
SteelKomodo: XD
SteelKomodo: YES BE BAGAN
Sabrewulf changed name to Cornwand Ebil
GB: ALRIGHT THEN
GB: NOW LETS PLAY KAIJU BASKETBALL
Cornwand Ebil: COMICS
Cornwand Ebil: ANIME
Cornwand Ebil: SINE
GB: I WANT KING GHIDORAH ON MY TEAM, HE'S GOT MAD HOPS YO
Cornwand Ebil: RAVENSKY
Cornwand Ebil: BLAH BLAH BLAH
RedSpy: GODZILLA GOT BUSY
Designate 5 joined the chat 75 seconds ago
Designate 5: SPACE
Cornwand Ebil changed name to The Deleter
GB: SO
Designate 5: SPAAAAACE
GB: WHO NEEDS A CHARACTER HEALED?
Designate 5: (Death)
Designate 5: SPAAAAAAAAACE
RedSpy changed name to EnforcerWolf
GB: I'VE GOT IT ALL: BUILDINGS, ROBOTS, PEOPLE, KNOWLEDGE
SteelKomodo: D:
EnforcerWolf: good fucking god you people are all tremendous idiots
The Deleter: welp
GB changed name to Major Failure
Major Failure: Eh
Major Failure: Fuck it, just have a burger
EnforcerWolf: yeah whatever
The Deleter: you people are so confusing
SteelKomodo: ok that's enough now guys
The Deleter: i don't know who is who anymore
Timezonious joined the chat

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RedSpy rolled a die with 8 sides. The die showed: 2
GB: Spy rolling a D8 and yet no sign of Cornwind
RedSpy: Nah, rolling HP for a Pathfinder character
RedSpy: Chatzy decided to be an ASS and give my poor Kobold the abolute minimum starting HP
GB: D:
GB: On the plus side, Stag Beetle reached deep down inside
GB: and found a single
GB: solitary
GB: fuck
GB: to give
RedSpy: WHAT!!!?!?!?!?!?
SteelKomodo: BLASPHEMY

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TheDeleter: here, sk
TheDeleter: take this sarong
SteelKomodo: What sarong?
RedSpy: Sauron?
TheDeleter: nothing
TheDeleter: what's a-wrong with you?
SteelKomodo: :/
TheDeleter: badumtish