GB: So I got my package
GB: 6 more thirty-year-old games, whoo
SteelKomodo: woot!
GB: And as a special bonus
GB: One of them has what must be the worst AI of all time
SteelKomodo: ooh, do tell
GB: Air-Sea Battle was made in 1977
GB: and it shows
GB: It was a launch title for the Atari
SteelKomodo: D:
SteelKomodo: oh boy
GB: It was intended to be played two-player
GB: There's 27 minigames total, with like 7 different themes and the rest are variations
SteelKomodo: ah
GB: Most of these minigames are two-player only, like the default one where the players control two anti-air cannons and try to shoot down more planes than their opponent
GB: However, there's an option to play the anti-air game with the AI
GB: The AI is the exact equivalent of a guy hammering on the fire button as fast as he can without moving the joystick
SteelKomodo: D:<
GB: It doesn't aim, it just fires constantly
GB: But since the default cannon position is diagonally upward
GB: it can still hit planes
GB: Final score was 20-14
GB: (I was the 20)
SteelKomodo: welp
SteelKomodo: that is literally worse than Rise of the Robots A.I.
SteelKomodo: (never played Rise of the Robots, thank god)
GB: The only AI I can think of that might be worse is Big Rigs
SteelKomodo: oh lawd Big Rigs
GB: At least you can still actually lose to the Air-Sea Battle Button Masher
GB: But in Big Rigs, you're always winner
---
GB: In case you guys missed it, another Chatzy Madness went up
GB: We're all caught up now
TheDeleter: hoorah
RedSpy: But how are we caught up without more crackships
GB: oh is that what you want
GB: you want more crackships
TheDeleter: no
TheDeleter: it isn't
TheDeleter: it is 100% the opposite of what i most desire
RedSpy: Good news everyone: it's opposite day!
TheDeleter: yes
TheDeleter: and that means goops won't post any crackships
TheDeleter: either way i win
RedSpy: That put Del's sentence in a whole new light
GB: Same list as usual, with one addition
GB: I've added Destroyah let's do this
TheDeleter: let's not
GB: oh come on :<
GB: don't be such a party pooper
TheDeleter: ok fine
GB: wheee
GB: Spy X Widow Maker
GB: Solomon X Kayle
GB: Theodore Rex X Rainbow Dash
GB: Alex Triden X Richard
GB: Gloria X The Lord
RedSpy: Well, fuck
RedSpy: There will be no survivors from that last one
RedSpy: NO. SURVIVORS.
GB: Waspinator X Mac Tonight
GB: Sister Alice X Hella Jeff
RedSpy: . . . I take it back. Now that's the scariest of these
GB: Stella X The Roller Disco Devils
GB: Rain X Stag Beetle
GB: Skeiron X Walter
RedSpy: "YOUR MOTHER WAS A LOAF OF BREAD"
GB: Wheatley X Saguaro PI
GB: Ariel X Dr. Bulgrave
GB: Zephyrus X Ivar
GB: Pech X Dirk Pat
GB: Christopher Ravensky X Tapogrepogo
GB: Jaxx Tantra X Clippy
RedSpy: I think Ariel would be more likely to try and shiv Bulgrave
RedSpy: Dirty coal steam power? For MAH environment?
GB: Browny X Starscream
GB: Garnet X Destroyah
GB: Sarah X Jonesy
TheDeleter: wha
TheDeleter: nope
RedSpy: I lost my ability to nope already, Del
GB: Josephine X Ironichide
GB: The Sheep X Designate
GB: Blackbird X Oceanus
GB: Santos X New Marlinnium
RedSpy: No Santos
RedSpy: That's a fish
GB: and finally
GB: Major Failure X Gentleman Draco
RedSpy: Well
RedSpy: That's one way to raise money for the fights
---
GB: Fun Fact: There are over 10,000 games for Atari 2600
RedSpy: . . .
GB: BUT
GB: The vast majority of them are pirates, bootlegs, and clones
GB: If you only counted actual separate games, there's about 600
GB: silly bootleggers
RedSpy: Wow
RedSpy: That's more than 10 times the bootlegs
GB: I'm endlessly amused by bootleg stuff
GB: it's a fascinating little market
RedSpy: Go on
GB: hold on, looking for pics
GB: okay
GB: Allow me to share some personal favorites
GB: https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3299/3407610555_baf07290ce_o.jpg
RedSpy: Robert Cop is superior
GB: https://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lcs27zsnSD1qe8we7o1_400.jpg
GB: http://www.fortheretarded.com/images/flea/jan04/hkphone3.jpg
RedSpy: Why is Sailor Moon training a fat-lipped Pikachu
GB: more importantly
GB: KITTY WAS PHONE
GB: http://www.theshiznit.co.uk/media/NewsDec2010/Toys-HarryPottermobile.jpg
RedSpy: Even Hulk Hello Kitty looks shocked
RedSpy: Why the Harry Potter DeLorean
GB: It's actually the Batmobile, I think
GB: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc3Uak53n-lioUQtcwryvVej5p5QqGCfMyWZeMHRANmWKBNYH7pUajlgFuW9EC31QDx_6j0QTYVKyFEtiu7FZV42SFAEHd7wDBgevrSF-NgYUYZe0sGQJm2xHJ2-9PoKSreijKY8Wm6g44/s1600/god-jesus-robot.jpg
RedSpy: GOD JESUS ROBOT
RedSpy: Who Zephyrus needs to see soon to get rid of his anger issues
GB: ROB was God all along
RedSpy: Also, it'll teach him how to pick up chicks
RedSpy: Win win for the bluebot
GB: http://imgs.inkfrog.com/pix/eric81837209/wz_0402.jpg
RedSpy: Luigi, Waldo, and a kitty
RedSpy: Get in a teleporter accident
GB: http://loyalkng.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/OBAMA-SONIC-Harry-POTTER-2010-bacpack.jpg
GB: http://www.tomopop.com/ul/9468-550x-9468-550x-1256814319665.jpg
RedSpy: What Japan thinks our President looks like
GB: http://i373.photobucket.com/albums/oo174/mechatoaster/sba4.jpg
RedSpy: What hapened to the Justice League
GB: That's not the justice league
GB: That's the Superman Big Alliance
GB: totally different
RedSpy: They need to appear in ZFRP
GB: http://www.sonicgear.org/BootlegFakes/SonFoxFakeToothbrush.jpg
RedSpy: . . . TAILS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
GB: http://cah4e3.shedevr.org.ru/cartsbase/JY-095.jpg
RedSpy: I'M NOT SONIC
GB: I had literally the exact same comment when I posted that picture on another forum XD
GB: http://afrotechmods.com/groovy/review/megason/megason2.jpg
GB: http://oi56.tinypic.com/2yyoa4h.jpg
RedSpy: "It's-a me, Mari-" WHAT A TERRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A CURSE
GB: http://i53.tinypic.com/2edblvd.jpg
RedSpy: RADI-BAT
GB: gotta get me some of that non-fall action
GB: http://i.somethingawful.com/u/garbageday/2010/comedy_goldmine/knockoffs/part_two/QwertySanchez_01.jpg
RedSpy: Wha
GB: Actually, looking at the link, I think that one might be a photoshop job
GB: sadly
GB: http://img577.imageshack.us/img577/9889/knockoffwii21413397.jpg
RedSpy: Sponsored by the Spy
RedSpy: "Oui! Oui!"
GB: Perhaps you've heard of the newly found, controversial scriptures that allege Jesus had a wife?
GB: Well bootlegs knew about it first
GB: http://www.engrish.com//wp-content/uploads/2008/08/jc-the-girl.jpg
RedSpy: HAPPY THE BIRTHDAY
GB: http://oi52.tinypic.com/1zd817d.jpg
RedSpy: By TRONI
GB: https://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lba06juRj41qdykgio1_500.jpg
RedSpy: Why is Team Rocket melting
GB: http://www.robot-japan.com/images/stories/Collection/Godzilla.jpg
RedSpy: Godzilla weilds the ruler to measure and laugh
RedSpy: Also Gigan looks high
GB: https://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_laxtu80Ujn1qbabvjo1_400.jpg
RedSpy: THE NEW POOKEYMAN
GB: https://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7fs6i0fmL1qbaxcpo1_500.png
RedSpy: That
RedSpy: Is the ugliest fucking Pokemon
RedSpy: I have ever seen
GB: http://cdn1.gamepro.com/blogfaction/images/custom_1234902155295_P2090035.JPG
RedSpy: Why is Luigi's head
GB: Why is it what
RedSpy: Heads
RedSpy: They do not work this way
RedSpy: That's Sweet Malleo and Hella Weegee
GB: There's another Mario in the upper left
GB: https://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_laxslmcZqb1qbaxcpo1_400.jpg
RedSpy: D:
RedSpy: . . .
RedSpy: THE BABY
GB: THE FAT BABY
GB: Sarah: :<
Jumpropeman joined the chat
GB: And last but certainly not least
GB: oh hey JRM
GB: I am spamming the chat with pictures of bootlegs
RedSpy: Its a shame he didn't typo his name
RedSpy: "And last but certainly not least . . . JUMPEROPMIN"
Jumpropeman: If I was a midget, my username would be the_afk_dwarf, but since I am not I shall respond to JRM
Jumpropeman: that's why I came here. To share that with ya'll
GB: I see
Jumpropeman: because I am a child
GB: ANYWAY
RedSpy: Yay!
GB: This is probably my favorite bootleg
GB: Or at least one of my favorites
GB: https://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_l0tvxoNaqt1qbaxcpo1_500.jpg
RedSpy: Wha
RedSpy: Why
GB: everything about it
GB: The typo
GB: Ronald's expression
RedSpy: POKE, MAN
GB: The adorably tiny Arbok
GB: And the fact that, of all Pokemon, goddamn Arbok got the green light
GB: https://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_l8jyk0T0aR1qzp9weo1_400.jpg
GB: That one's pretty great too
RedSpy: GAME
RedSpy: Hypnocat Adventures, coming to an Antoinette near yo- Oh, wait
GB: she'll make it
GB: goddamn it she's gonna make it
RedSpy: Then Bus swoops in on a pale horse
RedSpy: Laughs in our faces
RedSpy: And skips away
Jumpropeman: oh god, what did you guys do to her while I was gone?!
RedSpy: . . . You don't want to know
---
Jumpropeman: On an unrelated note, my Anthropology TA is named Eshe
Jumpropeman: I always pronounced Eshe "esh", but my TA pronounces her name "Eshay"
---
RedSpy: He was literally immune to pringles
---
TheDeleter: oh shit
TheDeleter: even ohio is in the path of sandy kinda
SteelKomodo: D:
SteelKomodo: is none of our US friend group safe from Sandy?
RedSpy: But there is one the dire squirrel hurricane fears
RedSpy: In their tongue he is Goopvahkiin . . . BLOOPERBORN
---
GB: I have no idea what to think about Sandy
GB: If it's anything like Irene
GB: It will cause serious, devastating damage to southern Vermont
SteelKomodo: D:
GB: Meanwhile, up here in northern Vermont a lawn chair might fall over
GB: So I'm betting I'll be okay
---
GB: I've got more Pictures of Bootleg Shit if anyone's interested
RedSpy: YES
SteelKomodo: yay!
GB: One's mind boggles as to the thought process that birthed them
TheDeleter: go
GB: http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/4753/superman9.jpg
TheDeleter: we must see
TheDeleter: ...
TheDeleter: that's a new look, bats
GB: https://farm1.static.flickr.com/13/19828186_b1bfc80645.jpg
RedSpy: Why does he have guns
SteelKomodo: ...that's not batman D:
SteelKomodo: pfffft
GB: https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3289/2858652322_7629f07e20.jpg
TheDeleter: at least it's honest
TheDeleter: "interesting motorcycle"
RedSpy: Pooh vs. Metro Cop Vader
SteelKomodo: ^
SteelKomodo: ...now I have this image in my head
TheDeleter: i am reasonably sure pooh doesn't even know how to count, let alone drive
SteelKomodo: 100-Acre Wood Cop
GB: http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb62/pacific_novelty/Bootleg%20Shirts/tony01.jpg
RedSpy: No, no, no
TheDeleter: that's grrrrrrrrrrreat
RedSpy: Tony the Tiger is part of the Bloods
RedSpy: Captain Crunch is on the Crips
RedSpy: Just look at their color schemes. You know it to be true
GB: Captain Crips
SteelKomodo: TONY NO D:
GB: http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb62/pacific_novelty/Bootleg%20Shirts/donkeykong02.jpg
SteelKomodo: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU MAN
RedSpy: . . . Wat
SteelKomodo: Pfffft
SteelKomodo: You sold out, DK
SteelKomodo: It used to be about the swinging D:<
TheDeleter: hahahahaha
GB: Konkey Dong is not alone in his hustling
GB: http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb62/pacific_novelty/Bootleg%20Shirts/mario03.jpg
TheDeleter: i want those tshirts
TheDeleter: like
TheDeleter: that mario one is awful
RedSpy: Grand Theft Mayro
TheDeleter: but i would unironically wear the DK one in public
TheDeleter: (i wouldn't)
GB: http://www.ukresistance.co.uk/pics6/sonic-gangster-hog-1.jpg
RedSpy: No
RedSpy: Knuckles is the one with dreads
GB: http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb62/pacific_novelty/Bootleg%20Shirts/koolaid01.jpg
SteelKomodo: OH YEEEAAAH
TheDeleter: who the fuck makes these
TheDeleter: i can't tell if it's sad or hilarious
GB: that's the beauty of bootlegging
GB: we don't know
GB: and we never will
RedSpy: Ghetto bootleg
GB: https://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_laxri2KyOU1qbaxcpo1_500.jpg
TheDeleter: GAH
TheDeleter: KILL IT
SteelKomodo: man, Pikachu's let himself go
RedSpy: D:
TheDeleter: KILL IT WITH NUKES
RedSpy: NO
RedSpy: I DON"T WANT THAT
---
GB: https://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfyozcOBRT1qa5504o1_400.jpg
SteelKomodo: looking a little bozz-eyed there, pika
SteelKomodo: shoulda gone to specsavers
GB: Eh
RedSpy: pffft
GB: Jamaica no problem
GB: https://farm1.static.flickr.com/108/291136328_111c9a544b.jpg
SteelKomodo: XD
SteelKomodo: just XD and no more
TheDeleter: well
RedSpy: We found Dirk's robot!
GB: "HONEYPANTS COME BACK"
SteelKomodo: oh my god i am laughing so hard right now
TheDeleter: hahahahaha
TheDeleter: oh man
SteelKomodo: "C'MON GAL, I KNOW YA LOVE BIG GEARS" "Never say that again D:"
GB: https://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfoqshfkIK1qgdx9qo1_500.jpg
SteelKomodo: epic fail
GB: http://www.reasonablyclever.com/bootlegtoys/photos/smoon/bike/sbikedetail.jpg
TheDeleter: that's one way of saving the world
GB: https://engrishfunny.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/engrish-funny-magic-lawsuit.jpg
RedSpy: I'd so read Harry Potter more if Hagrid was one of the main 4
RedSpy: Along with Harry, Sports Harry, and . . . Neville?
SteelKomodo: XD
---
RedSpy: http://twinbeardstudios.com/frog-fractions
TheDeleter: oh my god
TheDeleter: this game
TheDeleter: what the fuck
---
RedSpy: http://i.imgur.com/hc1iD.jpg Pictured here: the story of two dying game series' fight for survival
SteelKomodo: ...this is a thing that is happening, right?
RedSpy: Its a crossover between the two comic series, both by Archie
RedSpy: AKA the only good thing to come from Mega Man these days and the most divisive Sonic material ever
SteelKomodo: ah
SteelKomodo: well, in that case, http://i.imgur.com/GpHXz.png
RedSpy: pffft
---
RedSpy: . . . I just found the saddest youtube video
RedSpy: Back from 2010, before Other M came out, somebody being hyped and optimistic for it
RedSpy: Seeing the game's general reactions makes this vid description :smith: as hell
SteelKomodo: ...;_;
---
RedSpy: I can't take this hurricane seriously
RedSpy: Not when its named after a goddamn Spongebob character
GB: careful spy
Saberwulf: FRANKENSTORM: HURRICANE PECAN SANDY
GB: it will wreck kara-tay all over your home
RedSpy: XD
---
RedSpy: How to simultaneously piss off all 4 of the Sarahkiin
RedSpy: A high-fat bad tasting product made from burned books and pulverized baby seals
GB: And it's got magnets in it so you can't keep it near computers
---
Saberwulf: SO that's a kindle fire and a kindle fire carrying case
Saberwulf: Why do I have a feeling like I'm buying bags for holding chocolate bar bags
GB: Chocolate?
GB: Did you say... chocolate?
RedSpy: http://earbashcentral.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/spongebob_chocolate1.jpg
---
Saberwulf: What else should I blow this cash on
SteelKomodo: give £20 to Slender Man
SteelKomodo: so he'll leave you alone
Saberwulf: The Jersey Devil keeps away Slendy for me
Saberwulf: I'm like "thanks JD" and he's like "no problem bitch"
---
Saberwulf: Did you know we had a gay president
GB: obviously not an out one
RedSpy: Huh, really?
Saberwulf: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Buchanan
Saberwulf: Yep
RedSpy: Huh
RedSpy: Never knew that
GB: hmmm
SteelKomodo: well
GB: Reading it, it looks like clues were there, just nothing 100% confirmed. But yeah, seems plausible
SteelKomodo: i am learning so much about american politics today
---
TheDeleter: i'm gonna look up what mormons actually believe
Saberwulf: That Joseph Smith wasn't an idiot
GB: wait till you get to the part about black people, del
TheDeleter: shit, according to wiki Joseph Smith "established cities and temples"
TheDeleter: that's not bad work there
RedSpy: Oh god Mormon belief in why black people are black
TheDeleter: what the fuck
TheDeleter: "this is the mormon explanation for the negro race"
TheDeleter: ahahahahaha you are fucking kidding me, really?
RedSpy: It gets better
RedSpy: Wait until you see how Mormonism got to America
TheDeleter: what
TheDeleter: okay wow
TheDeleter: fuck mormonism
---
Saberwulf: I seem to have an obsession with giving characters meaningful and cool sounding middle names
Saberwulf: LORD KING SIR CHESTERFIELD LEONIDAS MATHIS WORCESTERSHIRE THE SECOND OF LOWER SAXONY, CHANCELLOR OF B-BALLERY, DUKE OF LONG PINE, ONE WIELDER OF THE TARSANKI
---
GB: wonderful, Photobucket has updated again
SteelKomodo: yay!
GB: If it ain't broke, fuck with it and unleash it upon an unsuspecting public
TheDeleter: yaaaay?
GB: Now I have to click on a photo to get its link instead of mousing over
GB: how wonderfully inconvenient
GB: great jorb there, photobucket
SteelKomodo: pfffft
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