GB: http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc320/PapaGonzales/kjboou.png
SteelKomodo: ...
SteelKomodo: i got nothin
SteelKomodo: literally nothin to say
SteelKomodo: so have some farting noises instead
SteelKomodo: ppppprrrrrrrrrrt
---
Saberwulf: Hrm, I feel like writing a novel
Saberwulf: *eyes Microsoft Office*
SteelKomodo: DO IT
SteelKomodo: FOR GREAT JUSTICE
Toothpaste: YES!
Saberwulf: Oh christ, I already have the opening line:
Saberwulf: My name is Chet Mathis, and this is the story of how I blew up the Multiverse.
TheDeleter: oh god
TheDeleter: here we go
SteelKomodo: ALREADY
SteelKomodo: First line and it's already beautifully insane!
---
Saberwulf: Hahaha, oh god, the Italian version of What The Hell translates literally to What The Dick
Saberwulf: That's fantastic
Friday, November 30, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Gunningshire: Normal
VVVVVVVVRRRRROOOOOOOOOP
"...What the devil?"
He'd done it. Dr. Bulgrave had successfully added the new dimension to his sifter, and transported himself there with a hundred different ideas in his head for what could await him. He'd expected someplace run-down and slummy. A place Gust could blend in.
Which is why he was left dumbfounded when confronted with a green, well-kept suburban block that looked like it fell out of a picture-perfect fifties sitcom. Immediately Dr. Bulgrave was aware of two things: First, he was roughly a five zillion on the Scale of Conspicuousness, and secondly Gust would be just as much of a sore thumb.
"The poor boy's likely gotten himself arrested..." Bulgrave mused, strolling down the sidewalk and trying to keep his steam billowing to a minimum. "I'd better find the police."
"The very nerve of that man! Yes, I know it's not Halloween, you whelp! Hmmmmph!"
You could almost see the mask scowl as Bulgrave grumbled to himself on a bench. He glowered at the world around him. Yes, it looked pretty, and clean, and well-mannered, but something was off here. Something wasn't right. And not just the hundreds of weird stares he'd gotten from the citizens of this world. It almost felt like the whole thing was an act, and if just a few things were tampered with the whole of the society here would collapse.
Identical houses with white picket fences. Hard-working suitcase-toting fathers coming home to greet their kitchen-bound always-smiling housewife and their 2.5 kids and their dog. It was... what was the word? Stifling? Maybe that one, yes.
He was so busy moping he almost didn't hear the motorcycle. Well, it was more like a moped. Whatever you'd call it, it was a no-nonsense, bulky, and decidedly non-extreme motorbike, and the only non-station wagon Bulgrave had seen on the road since he first got here. The man riding it looked unfamiliar, but then again Bulgrave had never seen Gust without his helmet. An attache suitcase was hooked to the front of the scooter, and the nice suit the man was wearing indicated that he, like all the others, had a well-paying office job and was probably going home to a family. The eternally grinning foodmaker and their perfect little tousle-haired kids. And of course a dog, or maybe a dog and a cat.
The man turned his head to look at Bulgrave and his eyes just about popped out of his head. To be fair, this was the reaction the doctor had been getting all day. But when the man made a turn to get off the main road and drove up to near Bulgrave's bench...
"...Bulgrave?" The man murmured. "The heck are you doing here?"
"I could ask the same of you, Gust."
"I'm not Gust. Not anymore. I go by Lawrence now."
"Lawrence? My god... *psssh* You've really integrated yourself into this society. To what end?"
"To what end? Don't you remember what I talked about in the past? I'm sick of the nonsense that revolves around those other worlds. I wanted a normal life. And during that last fight, you know what happened? I ran into the guy who gave me that arm. And he said he could make all that junk go away. I trusted him, and I was right to do so."
"So you're happy here? But it's so sterile and dull-"
"Safe, Doc. It's safe. I've had enough adventure to last a lifetime, and almost got killed twice. I'm done. So please, vrop on outta here before you lure some kind of death virus mantis robot kobber thing into my hometown."
"..."
"Gotta go, Chas is waiting for me."
"Wh-! She's here too?!"
"She's here too, and you can't meet her. Unlike me, she doesn't remember a thing about our little adventure. And I think that's just fine." Gust got onto his bike. "Goodbye, Doc. Don't worry about us. We're happy now."
Gust started up his moped, gave a simple nod to Dr. Bulgrave, and turned back onto the main road, puttering away.
The doctor watched him go, remaining silent for a while before finally moving to a secluded area. When he was certain nobody else was around, he warped away.
"...What the devil?"
He'd done it. Dr. Bulgrave had successfully added the new dimension to his sifter, and transported himself there with a hundred different ideas in his head for what could await him. He'd expected someplace run-down and slummy. A place Gust could blend in.
Which is why he was left dumbfounded when confronted with a green, well-kept suburban block that looked like it fell out of a picture-perfect fifties sitcom. Immediately Dr. Bulgrave was aware of two things: First, he was roughly a five zillion on the Scale of Conspicuousness, and secondly Gust would be just as much of a sore thumb.
"The poor boy's likely gotten himself arrested..." Bulgrave mused, strolling down the sidewalk and trying to keep his steam billowing to a minimum. "I'd better find the police."
-2 HOURS LATER-
"The very nerve of that man! Yes, I know it's not Halloween, you whelp! Hmmmmph!"
You could almost see the mask scowl as Bulgrave grumbled to himself on a bench. He glowered at the world around him. Yes, it looked pretty, and clean, and well-mannered, but something was off here. Something wasn't right. And not just the hundreds of weird stares he'd gotten from the citizens of this world. It almost felt like the whole thing was an act, and if just a few things were tampered with the whole of the society here would collapse.
Identical houses with white picket fences. Hard-working suitcase-toting fathers coming home to greet their kitchen-bound always-smiling housewife and their 2.5 kids and their dog. It was... what was the word? Stifling? Maybe that one, yes.
He was so busy moping he almost didn't hear the motorcycle. Well, it was more like a moped. Whatever you'd call it, it was a no-nonsense, bulky, and decidedly non-extreme motorbike, and the only non-station wagon Bulgrave had seen on the road since he first got here. The man riding it looked unfamiliar, but then again Bulgrave had never seen Gust without his helmet. An attache suitcase was hooked to the front of the scooter, and the nice suit the man was wearing indicated that he, like all the others, had a well-paying office job and was probably going home to a family. The eternally grinning foodmaker and their perfect little tousle-haired kids. And of course a dog, or maybe a dog and a cat.
The man turned his head to look at Bulgrave and his eyes just about popped out of his head. To be fair, this was the reaction the doctor had been getting all day. But when the man made a turn to get off the main road and drove up to near Bulgrave's bench...
"...Bulgrave?" The man murmured. "The heck are you doing here?"
"I could ask the same of you, Gust."
"I'm not Gust. Not anymore. I go by Lawrence now."
"Lawrence? My god... *psssh* You've really integrated yourself into this society. To what end?"
"To what end? Don't you remember what I talked about in the past? I'm sick of the nonsense that revolves around those other worlds. I wanted a normal life. And during that last fight, you know what happened? I ran into the guy who gave me that arm. And he said he could make all that junk go away. I trusted him, and I was right to do so."
"So you're happy here? But it's so sterile and dull-"
"Safe, Doc. It's safe. I've had enough adventure to last a lifetime, and almost got killed twice. I'm done. So please, vrop on outta here before you lure some kind of death virus mantis robot kobber thing into my hometown."
"..."
"Gotta go, Chas is waiting for me."
"Wh-! She's here too?!"
"She's here too, and you can't meet her. Unlike me, she doesn't remember a thing about our little adventure. And I think that's just fine." Gust got onto his bike. "Goodbye, Doc. Don't worry about us. We're happy now."
Gust started up his moped, gave a simple nod to Dr. Bulgrave, and turned back onto the main road, puttering away.
The doctor watched him go, remaining silent for a while before finally moving to a secluded area. When he was certain nobody else was around, he warped away.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Chatzy Madness Volume 26: Original Wids
GB: hey guys
GB: I posted a thing on the forum
SteelKomodo: oh?
TheDeleter: lets see
SteelKomodo: oh shit Celestia
SteelKomodo is slightly terrified now
SteelKomodo: now she and Del can be prosthetic arm buddies
TheDeleter: niiiice
TheDeleter: XD
SteelKomodo: "Mine turns into a mace!" "Yeah, well, mahne turns into guns."
GB: "Arm! Mace! Arm! Mace!" "MOM CUT IT OUT"
---
Toothpaste: that awkwardly hilarious moment where your teacher for AP Bio is on Random.org with a 1-21 tractor up
Toothpaste: Then it turns out he's just rolling based on the 21 people in your class for who gets to ask a question during the test
SteelKomodo: ...XD
Toothpaste: But for a second I BELIEVED INSANTA CLAUS ZOOFIGHTS
GB: I posted a thing on the forum
SteelKomodo: oh?
TheDeleter: lets see
SteelKomodo: oh shit Celestia
SteelKomodo is slightly terrified now
SteelKomodo: now she and Del can be prosthetic arm buddies
TheDeleter: niiiice
TheDeleter: XD
SteelKomodo: "Mine turns into a mace!" "Yeah, well, mahne turns into guns."
GB: "Arm! Mace! Arm! Mace!" "MOM CUT IT OUT"
---
Toothpaste: that awkwardly hilarious moment where your teacher for AP Bio is on Random.org with a 1-21 tractor up
Toothpaste: Then it turns out he's just rolling based on the 21 people in your class for who gets to ask a question during the test
SteelKomodo: ...XD
Toothpaste: But for a second I BELIEVED IN
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Gunningshire: Rival
"Excuse me... pardon me, ma'am... whoops-"
Dr. Bulgrave weaved his way carefully through the crowd. Curse his lack of foresight - he was so close to accessing the dimension he believed Gust had vanished to, but unfortunately supplies had to be gathered. Vital, important, desperately needed items required to finish the project.
Like, um, confectionary nourishment, oh yes.
As the doctor emerged from a tunnel underneath a cobblestone bridge, checking and double-checking his shopping list, he was stopped in his tracks by an irritatingly familiar voice.
"Wellll! My first day back and already I've run into old Copper-mask! Fancy seeing you again so soon, old boy!"
Dr. Bulgrave's teeth ground together as he turned and raised his head to see the man standing on the bridge.
"Barnaby."
"Sir Barnaby McManus von Buxton the Third, I believe you mean. So, as I was saying, fancy seeing you!"
"Yes. Fancy that."
"I say, I only just got back from an expedition to Africa. Found the most amazing thing!" Barnaby said jovially as he descended the cobblestone steps to talk without yelling, leaving his two associates on the bridge.
"And what would that be?"
"You'll never believe it - a living dinosaur! Had my boys capture the thing with tranquilizers and nets. It's been shipped overseas and they're hard at work studying it."
"...A living dinosaur, you say."
"Indubitably! The scientific discovery of the century! Turns out those African savages were right - the 'Kasai Rex' spoken of in their native legends was in fact a real animal!"
"...Fancy that."
He had gotten there first. HE had, not this smug bastard. But he'd squandered his discovery by weaponizing it. And then Jaxx Tantra had punched it so hard it erupted into a pile of ribcages.
And then he had been too obsessed with Project 28 to go and fetch another.
And then he was in prison.
And then it was too late.
"Hmm, well then! I'd love to hear what you've been up to lately, old Copper-mask! How's the animal-fiddling business?"
"...I've given up on that. I work solely in the fields of medicine and machinery now."
"Ah yes, your little wind-up toys. A most amusing pastime, to be sure!"
Dr. Bulgrave's gloved hands briefly clenched into fists. He was extremely glad his mask covered his current grimace.
"I believe, Sir Barnaby, that my studies in clockwork will lead to great strides in the future."
"Do you? That's not what I've been hearing. I've heard steamworking is on the way out, old chap. Have you seen the wind turbines they're pioneering in Valleyridge? Power from wind! It's astounding!"
A travesty of engineering, that's what it was, thought the doctor.
"Well, I imagine you're very busy gathering watch parts and the like so I'll be on my way - I'd hate to keep you held up from your advancing towards the future of clockwork!" A quick bark of a laugh, like if a walrus was amused. "Do take care - wouldn't want you getting anything stuck in your intake valve from working too hard!"
Barnaby strode off, leaving Dr. Bulgrave to silently turn and stalk away to the shopping center of Gunningshire. The steam venting from his pack came thick and dark.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Chatzy Madness Volume 25: Thinking is Hard
TheDeleter: beat another sam and max chapter
ColorChange: woo!
TheDeleter: now i have to figure out where all these underpants-wearing sams came from
---
TheDeleter: that's weird
TheDeleter: one of my buddies has updated his facbook to say he's in a relationship, but he didn't specify who with
TheDeleter: i'm gonna assume it's his hand
---
SteelKomodo: "Garfield and Jon Arbuckle was sitting at home watching the tv when M. Bison came on tv with announcement to Garfield."
SteelKomodo: ALREADY
SteelKomodo: First sentence and it's already beautifully, batshit insane,
ColorChange: Why is Garfield a paragon of manliness
SteelKomodo: Why wouldn't he be?
ColorChange: woo!
TheDeleter: now i have to figure out where all these underpants-wearing sams came from
---
TheDeleter: that's weird
TheDeleter: one of my buddies has updated his facbook to say he's in a relationship, but he didn't specify who with
TheDeleter: i'm gonna assume it's his hand
---
SteelKomodo: "Garfield and Jon Arbuckle was sitting at home watching the tv when M. Bison came on tv with announcement to Garfield."
SteelKomodo: ALREADY
SteelKomodo: First sentence and it's already beautifully, batshit insane,
ColorChange: Why is Garfield a paragon of manliness
SteelKomodo: Why wouldn't he be?
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Chatzy Madness Volume 24: Ticklecock Bridge
TheDeleter: i bet samus gets that all the time now
TheDeleter: go to a bar
TheDeleter: next smash bros tournament
TheDeleter: nothing but THE BABY
SteelKomodo: THE BOTTLE SHIP
SteelKomodo: SEE WHAT WE DID THERE
Gooper Blooper: She actually managed to make a baby-free cameo earlier this year!
TheDeleter: she did!
SteelKomodo: good for her!
TheDeleter: but in the future
TheDeleter: oh man
SteelKomodo: D:
---
Saberwulf: I like how ZF RP is literally devolving into a saturday morning cartoon
Gooper Blooper: pffff
Gooper Blooper: It was always like that!
Saberwulf: "Oh god we're out of villans! uhhhh oh! Make someone big!"
---
Gooper Blooper: Kayle has triggered Treehugger.exe
TheDeleter: damn hippies
Gooper Blooper: take a shower, ariel
Gooper Blooper: get a job
Gooper Blooper: oh god kayle I thought you were smarter than that
Erebus: "Nuclear power? Golly, Ariel, what's that? Is it good?"
TheDeleter: *godzilla*
Gooper Blooper: "So Ariel, how about those new light bul-" "BUY THEM RIGHT NOW! FILL YOUR HOUSE WITH THEM!"
Erebus: "Excuse me, Ariel, I have to throw away this container filled with rusted razor blades, dish cleaner, and used engine oil. And by "Throw Away" I mean throw into a lake."
Gooper Blooper: *Ariel has a seizure*
Erebus: "Quick, lie her down on these nonbiodegradable trash bags and spray aerosols into the air before we set the whole thing on fire to get rid of it! That is the correct course of action, right?"
Saberwulf: I am so glad Ariel hasn't met David. "I'm a walking nuclear waste dump!" *dumps vats of anti-matter on a puppy farm*
Gooper Blooper: "What do you think about global war-" *Ariel takes a deep breath* "RUNNN"
TheDeleter: unclean! unclean!
Gooper Blooper: FOREIGN CONTAMINANT
Saberwulf: NO DISASSEMBLE
TheDeleter: go to a bar
TheDeleter: next smash bros tournament
TheDeleter: nothing but THE BABY
SteelKomodo: THE BOTTLE SHIP
SteelKomodo: SEE WHAT WE DID THERE
Gooper Blooper: She actually managed to make a baby-free cameo earlier this year!
TheDeleter: she did!
SteelKomodo: good for her!
TheDeleter: but in the future
TheDeleter: oh man
SteelKomodo: D:
---
Saberwulf: I like how ZF RP is literally devolving into a saturday morning cartoon
Gooper Blooper: pffff
Gooper Blooper: It was always like that!
Saberwulf: "Oh god we're out of villans! uhhhh oh! Make someone big!"
---
Gooper Blooper: Kayle has triggered Treehugger.exe
TheDeleter: damn hippies
Gooper Blooper: take a shower, ariel
Gooper Blooper: get a job
Gooper Blooper: oh god kayle I thought you were smarter than that
Erebus: "Nuclear power? Golly, Ariel, what's that? Is it good?"
TheDeleter: *godzilla*
Gooper Blooper: "So Ariel, how about those new light bul-" "BUY THEM RIGHT NOW! FILL YOUR HOUSE WITH THEM!"
Erebus: "Excuse me, Ariel, I have to throw away this container filled with rusted razor blades, dish cleaner, and used engine oil. And by "Throw Away" I mean throw into a lake."
Gooper Blooper: *Ariel has a seizure*
Erebus: "Quick, lie her down on these nonbiodegradable trash bags and spray aerosols into the air before we set the whole thing on fire to get rid of it! That is the correct course of action, right?"
Saberwulf: I am so glad Ariel hasn't met David. "I'm a walking nuclear waste dump!" *dumps vats of anti-matter on a puppy farm*
Gooper Blooper: "What do you think about global war-" *Ariel takes a deep breath* "RUNNN"
TheDeleter: unclean! unclean!
Gooper Blooper: FOREIGN CONTAMINANT
Saberwulf: NO DISASSEMBLE
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Thanksephine
"Can you picture it, sis? Just close your eyes and imagine it.""Sarah, please-"
"A feast for the eyes, nose, AND mouth! Mom's world-famous Thanksgiving dinner!"
"She's not world-famous."
"Not yet!"
"Sarah, can you please calm down, you're going to make me-"
"C'monnnn, sis! It's Thanksgiving! The one day of the year completely and totally devoted to food! Stop being a wet blanket and imagine with me!"
"Fiiiiiine."
Josephine sighed and closed her eyes.
"Can you smell it?"
"Smell what, exactly?"
"The turkey. Smell the turkey, sis."
"Sarah this is stupid-"
"Smell it!"
Josephine scrunched up her face, and old memories of their mom's Thanksgiving dinner began to resurface.
Every year, the whole family looked forward to Celestia's Thanksgiving meal. She always prepared top-quality meals no matter her resources, but on Thanksgiving she truly brought her A game. Celestia loved to cook for her family, and this was where it truly showed. Turkey roasted to perfection. Potatoes whipped into a heaping fluffy cloud. Homegrown vegetables. And, Sarah's favorite part of all, the pies.
Yes, pies. She'd come up with an idea for a family tradition: Every year, they would vote on what kind of pie would follow the meal. However, while Sarah and Josephine voted for chocolate pie, Gloria and their father supported pumpkin pie and Ariel wanted apple.
Most mothers would have them flip a coin or draw straws. Celestia instead made all three. And it had never mattered how much any of them had eaten - when those pies came out, there was no leaving the table until at least one slice from one pie had been conquered. Of course, Sarah's preferred method was nabbing a slice from each of the three pies, and Josephine had pulled off that stunt more than once in her childhood.
It had been so long, it felt like. For obvious reasons, the tradition came to an end when Celestia left to provide for her family under Tiamat. And while Celestia had considered bringing it back last year, she had ultimately felt too much heartbreak at the thought of a Thanksgiving dinner without her husband at the table. But this year would be different. It was Sarah who'd floated the idea to her mother in private during a quiet night at the hospital. Celestia, newly empowered by the fall of Garland, had agreed almost immediately, and the other girls eagerly signed on, ready to experience a down-home holiday tradition they'd been unable to celebrate for a full decade.
And so it would all come back. The turkey, the potatoes, the side dishes, the pies. The hot, sweet, steaming pies. The pies filled with rich, indulgent filling made with love...
"Josephine?"
"...Chocolate fudge with chocolate chip cookie crust..."
"Josephine!"
"GAH!"
"So it worked! You imagined it!"
"Yeah, I sure did, and thanks to you I'm starving! And I just got up an hour ago, too!"
"Don't worry, we can watch the parade to pass the time!"
"But I was gonna shop for- Ugh, I can't go shopping now, I'll wind up buying a bunch of food."
"Oh well! Don't worry, you can shop later!"
Sarah plopped down on her couch, patting the seat next to her. "Hurry, it's gonna be on soon!"
"...Sarah."
"Mmyes?"
"Did you seriously do this just because you wanted someone to watch the parade with you?"
"No! That's ridiculous!"
Sarah hopped back up and gave Josephine a hug.
"I did it because I wanted you to watch it with me."
Josephine blinked.
And returned the hug.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Chatzy Madness Volume 23: A Really Awkward Terrorist
MannVsNature: I have learned a very valuable lesson yesterday
MannVsNature: Mario Strikers Charged is an evil, evil little game
TheDeleter: it is
TheDeleter: it hates you and everything you stand for
SteelKomodo: it truly is
SteelKomodo: but it's loads of fun as well
MannVsNature: My friend and I went from beginning to end, tearing a bloody path through the game
MannVsNature: Donkey Kong, Dry Bones, Monty Mole, and Shy Guy trampled everything in their way
MannVsNature: We even got to the end of the Striker Cup, ready to face down Petey Piranha
MannVsNature: He solidly demolished our asses
SteelKomodo: D:
MannVsNature: Fought so far, all for naught
SteelKomodo: mario sports games tend to do that
SteelKomodo: there will come a time when they will tear you apart, bit by bit
SteelKomodo: especially Mario Kart
MannVsNature: It doesn't help that the AI uses items with perfect precision
MannVsNature: While every time I try to use an item it hits more of our own team than theirs
MannVsNature: Hell, half the time our own Chain Chomp chases us
SteelKomodo: Chain Chomps are jerks
---
Erebus: SHALL WE SCRY?!
SteelKomodo: LET US SCRY!!
TheDeleter: LET'S SCRY PROFUSELY
TheDeleter: SCRY OUT IN TERROR
Erebus: AWWWWWWWW YEAH
MannVsNature: SCRY TIME!
TheDeleter: i'm trying to pun
MannVsNature: Mario Strikers Charged is an evil, evil little game
TheDeleter: it is
TheDeleter: it hates you and everything you stand for
SteelKomodo: it truly is
SteelKomodo: but it's loads of fun as well
MannVsNature: My friend and I went from beginning to end, tearing a bloody path through the game
MannVsNature: Donkey Kong, Dry Bones, Monty Mole, and Shy Guy trampled everything in their way
MannVsNature: We even got to the end of the Striker Cup, ready to face down Petey Piranha
MannVsNature: He solidly demolished our asses
SteelKomodo: D:
MannVsNature: Fought so far, all for naught
SteelKomodo: mario sports games tend to do that
SteelKomodo: there will come a time when they will tear you apart, bit by bit
SteelKomodo: especially Mario Kart
MannVsNature: It doesn't help that the AI uses items with perfect precision
MannVsNature: While every time I try to use an item it hits more of our own team than theirs
MannVsNature: Hell, half the time our own Chain Chomp chases us
SteelKomodo: Chain Chomps are jerks
---
Erebus: SHALL WE SCRY?!
SteelKomodo: LET US SCRY!!
TheDeleter: LET'S SCRY PROFUSELY
TheDeleter: SCRY OUT IN TERROR
Erebus: AWWWWWWWW YEAH
MannVsNature: SCRY TIME!
TheDeleter: i'm trying to pun
Monday, November 19, 2012
Dead Sarah
Have you ever noticed the URLs in topics on the Zoofights Forum? It goes up by 1 every time a thread is made, but there are a bunch of numbers that have been skipped over. The reason for this is twofold. The first explanation is that the missing numbers are spambot threads that were deleted. This is true for most of the threads, but there's still one number that isn't accounted for. This is a "lost" thread from 2011.The lost thread was made in the Bar subforum by the user "Gooper Blooper". It received 11 posts between 2:45 and 3:15 AM Eastern time on August 30, 2011. It's odd enough that Gooper Blooper was roleplaying at 3 in the morning, but that is the least of the things about the thread that seem "off". For starters, the thread is titled "Dead Sarah".
The date of August 30 is significant because that places the thread's creation time at just a few hours after the RP event of Sarah the white mage fighting Draco the dragon in a Fite Yer Mates battle. Although Sarah won, she was grievously wounded, and both her injuries and the subsequent medical care was described in cringeworthy fashion. However, by midnight Sarah had recovered and gone home with her boyfriend Alex. Posts continued into the night, but slowly dropped off. In the wee hours of the morning, posts were few and far between - Erebus is seen posting at 2:37 AM, followed by Gentleman Draco at 3:20. In between that time, the lost thread went up, acquired posts, and vanished.
At 2:45 AM the thread went up. Gooper Blooper's post is a little odd. Instead of using the default black text, a shade of gray is used instead. The post is also completely in italics, contains no pictures, and is written in the first person. The post in its entirety reads "What's going on? Where am I? I feel strange...".
The next user to post is AlextheJanitor. Her post is similar, except there are no italics and the text is shaded in the light green used for the character of Alexander Triden. "Are you all right, Sarah? You look pale... Do you need anything?"
Gooper Blooper replies in less than two minutes with "Everything is okay now, Alex. Everything is okay."
AlextheJanitor again: "O-okay, if you say so. Come on, let's get some sleep and we can celebrate more in the morning."
The next six posts in the thread are Gooper Blooper posting repeatedly. Each successive post uses lighter and smaller text - always in italics and always from Sarah's point of view.
The first post is a retelling from Sarah's perspective of the first time she ever saw Alex. This moment, which was only alluded to in other threads, is written with surprisingly deep detail, down to describing the clothes Alex was wearing and what exactly he was cleaning up at the time (Croaka Cola - the post goes into lurid detail of the fallen frog's organs and guts).
The second and third posts are also memories not covered in detail elsewhere - the second describes how Sarah felt after having used Exit to flee from Alex the first time they had a conversation, while the third post is about Sarah's thoughts while on the verge of death as Alex carried her to the hospital after she had been shot in the chest during their first date.
The fourth post is disjointed and hard to understand, but appears to be a stream-of-consciousness transcript of what Sarah was thinking during her battle with Draco.
The fifth post can be placed at just after the battle. It reads as follows:
"I think I'm dying.My legs are gone. My arms... one arm gone. My hair, my eyes, my skin... how could white magic bring me back now?
I was so stupid. I shouldn't have done this. Alex and Mom and One and Two and Four must be so upset.
I'll miss them.
I'm so sorry."
The sixth post appears blank, but this is because it uses the smallest possible text and pure white as a text color. However, it only contains a single word.
The seventh post is also made by Gooper Blooper, but this one is an aside note in parentheticals that reads "(Had a chat with Alex and decided to scrap this because it's too upsetting. NEVER MIND, FOLKS, SARAH'S FINE)"
Three minutes later the topic vanished. It is unknown who did this, as none of the regular roleplayers had any moderation powers. Attempting to contact any of the roleplayers about the thread results in assertions that it never happened. And, while the thread was viewable for two weeks on Google Cache, it was then deleted. Attempts to post the thread content on Pastebin result in deletions for "inappropriate content".
Not everything on the Internet is permanent. Sometimes it truly does vanish.
"...Father?"
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Chatzy Madness Volume 22: Stella's Zoofights Fanfiction
GB: So last night I played another one of my shiny new old Atari games
Saberwulf: Nice
GB: This one's called Mouse Trap
SteelKomodo: ooh
RedSpy: D:
GB: You have to avoid enemies and eat all the dots in the maze
GB: totally not pac-man guys
RedSpy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ0ko4zess4
SteelKomodo: ...pffffffft
GB: Actually there are a couple huge differences
GB: See, you're a mouse, and the dots are cheese
GB: Or at least they're supposed to be cheese
GB: And you're pursued by three cats instead of four ghosts
GB: If you hold down the fire button the whole maze transforms
GB: The reason I brought up Mouse Trap is because of this http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Decorated%20images/MouseTrapMaxScore1.jpg
GB: I guess that means I won
Saberwulf: Haha
Saberwulf: Nice
GB: it's not a very hard game
SteelKomodo: yesssss
RedSpy: Wait what?
GB: max score bitches
RedSpy: Holy shi-
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Decorated%20images/MouseTrapMaxScore2.jpg
GB: See, I nabbed one more dot and it rolled over
GB: Activating the "power pellets" whenever you want really helps
GB: You don't use them as soon as you touch them
RedSpy: That's OP
Saberwulf: Nice
GB: This one's called Mouse Trap
SteelKomodo: ooh
RedSpy: D:
GB: You have to avoid enemies and eat all the dots in the maze
GB: totally not pac-man guys
RedSpy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ0ko4zess4
SteelKomodo: ...pffffffft
GB: Actually there are a couple huge differences
GB: See, you're a mouse, and the dots are cheese
GB: Or at least they're supposed to be cheese
GB: And you're pursued by three cats instead of four ghosts
GB: If you hold down the fire button the whole maze transforms
GB: The reason I brought up Mouse Trap is because of this http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Decorated%20images/MouseTrapMaxScore1.jpg
GB: I guess that means I won
Saberwulf: Haha
Saberwulf: Nice
GB: it's not a very hard game
SteelKomodo: yesssss
RedSpy: Wait what?
GB: max score bitches
RedSpy: Holy shi-
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Decorated%20images/MouseTrapMaxScore2.jpg
GB: See, I nabbed one more dot and it rolled over
GB: Activating the "power pellets" whenever you want really helps
GB: You don't use them as soon as you touch them
RedSpy: That's OP
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Gunningshire: Storm
"Home... sweet home."
Dr. Bulgrave stood in the pouring rain, standing in front of his heavily damaged castle.
"This place has certainly seen better days. *psssh* Well, no sense standing out here in the rain."
The doctor entered slowly, looking around with some trepidation.
Alone.
He was completely alone here. It was such a bizarre feeling. Bulgrave had been a bit of a loner, true - aside from Dr. Welward, few ever visited him. Which had made this previous summer all the more unique.
There was no chance. No way. The kobbers had killed him. He couldn't have fled. The chances were infinitesimal. But to hell with probability, he was alone and had nothing else to do.
"...Gust? Gust, my boy, are you here?"
Silence descended upon the fortress once more, with only the rain and Bulgrave's breathing apparatus to dull the silent roar of emptiness.
He traversed the halls of his castle like a stranger, noting and observing every chipped stone, every smashed glass, every overturned object or fallen keepsake. The blackboard he'd used so many times to communicate with Blackbird was face-down on the floor. Some of his books had tumbled off the bookshelves, with one on insects having busted its spine upon landing. The food in the pantry had gone bad, except for the canned stuff.
Tcccththcccthcccccththc
The doctor stopped walking.
Thththccccccththccccccth
"...What?"
He reached behind him, grasping a handheld device hooked to his life support and sifter.
Tcccchthththcccccthcccthch
"It's picking something up... Someone sifted here?"
Bulgrave stared at the readings for a few moments before it dawned on him.
"...He got away. *Psssh*
He did survive."
He began fiddling with the device, flipping levers and turning dials, energy seeming to return to his movements.
"It might not be too late."
Dr. Bulgrave stood in the pouring rain, standing in front of his heavily damaged castle.
"This place has certainly seen better days. *psssh* Well, no sense standing out here in the rain."
The doctor entered slowly, looking around with some trepidation.
Alone.
He was completely alone here. It was such a bizarre feeling. Bulgrave had been a bit of a loner, true - aside from Dr. Welward, few ever visited him. Which had made this previous summer all the more unique.
There was no chance. No way. The kobbers had killed him. He couldn't have fled. The chances were infinitesimal. But to hell with probability, he was alone and had nothing else to do.
"...Gust? Gust, my boy, are you here?"
Silence descended upon the fortress once more, with only the rain and Bulgrave's breathing apparatus to dull the silent roar of emptiness.
He traversed the halls of his castle like a stranger, noting and observing every chipped stone, every smashed glass, every overturned object or fallen keepsake. The blackboard he'd used so many times to communicate with Blackbird was face-down on the floor. Some of his books had tumbled off the bookshelves, with one on insects having busted its spine upon landing. The food in the pantry had gone bad, except for the canned stuff.
Tcccththcccthcccccththc
The doctor stopped walking.
Thththccccccththccccccth
"...What?"
He reached behind him, grasping a handheld device hooked to his life support and sifter.
Tcccchthththcccccthcccthch
"It's picking something up... Someone sifted here?"
Bulgrave stared at the readings for a few moments before it dawned on him.
"...He got away. *Psssh*
He did survive."
He began fiddling with the device, flipping levers and turning dials, energy seeming to return to his movements.
"It might not be too late."
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Gunningshire: Plague
Nobody had ever expected a deadly virus from an earlier age was lurking in their hometown. Nobody had even the slightest suspicion. And that is for the best. If they had known, there would have been panic. There would have been pushback. There would have been resistance to science, to the study of knowledge and discovery.
You see, after the Black Plague was finally completing its greatest grim tour of Europe those 600 years ago, someone had the foresight to capture it. Bottled up a bit of the germ in a glass jar and put it on ice in the hope that someday something less indiscriminately genocidal could come of it. Such forward thinking was rare in those days.
Through the centuries, the knowledge was passed down but kept limited to a tiny few. Whoever had managed to capture the plague told a fellow scientist. In his old age, this scientist passed it on to his brightest understudy. And so did the secret follow the best of humankind through the ages. Some of those who knew studied the plague under microscopes, spending weeks, months, or years trying to crack its code. Others knew, and passed it on, but never once decided to mess with it themselves, being too fearful.
It was inevitable that someone would finally get careless. And about five years ago, someone did. And so the secret was secret no longer.
This was where being more advanced as a society came in. We knew what the plague could do. We'd all read about it in school. And we'd changed. Our streets were not dirty and filled with animals. The homeless and deprived were kept clean and safe in group homes. People knew what showers were. And antibiotics were more advanced. The Black Plague wasn't just a musty memory from our history books. It had come back, weaker, in recent centuries. But it never made the same impact - not in more developed nations. And our advances in science were why. It's things like that that make me proud to be a scientist.
The moment the first deaths were reported, a quarantine was placed upon the city. Citizens were allowed to evacuate only if passing a complete and total examination to determine they and all possessions they wished to bring were 100% free of the plague and of carriers like fleas or ticks.
I was lucky. I have no family here, and I never caught the plague. Why would I? I spent most of my time holed up in my fortress, and on the rare occasions I left for errands I was covered in my typical dress quite well. Once I'd heard of the plague spreading I added a hooded coat to my ensemble, but that was all.
But really, I was especially fortunate that I didn't have to see my colleague, Dr. Welward, as anything but a friend.
Bartholomew Welward... is a morbid man. A man who has worked with the dead for his entire career. He has two specialties. The first is studying fatal diseases with no known cure. The other is study of the limits of human life - where life ends and death begins, how long the mind can persist, and whether there is such a thing as a soul. The coming of the plague gave a huge boost to his activity. He seemed to take more pride in his grim work than ever, and for the first time in years he began treating live patients rather than just doing autopsies and funeral services. He quickly rose to prominence as the go-to man in the city for plague-related treatments and discussion.
And he began wearing that damned birdlike plague doctor mask all the time. He was entirely too excited about this.
"Afternoon, Welward."
"Afternoon, Bulgrave! Keeping well?"
"Well enough."
"No symptoms?"
"None at all. *psssh* Seems my choices in fashion are a boon."
"Good to know."
"How many today?"
"Just two. The government's done a fine job keeping everyone orderly about this. We've hardly got more than twenty cases, none outside Gunningshire, and it's been two whole weeks. A few of them even look like they'll survive."
"You sound disappointed."
"Well..."
"Welward, why? Why do you have such a sick fascination for human suffering? *psssh* You and I, our job is to relieve suffering, not revel in the causes."
"I do nothing of the sort, Bulgrave. Seeing these people... men, women, children, all types - seeing them in need moves me to find a cure. I have studied the Plague for-"
"There is no cure for the Black Plague. Immunization, yes - surgery, possibly - but not a cure."
"No KNOWN cure, my comrade. But I'll find it. I'll be the first. I will be the one who saved the people from the Plague."
"You're a few hundred years late on that one."
"This year begs to differ. It could rise again for real, Bulgrave, immune to our antibiotics. What then? Why, that's when the world turns to me."
"Seems rather selfish of you to wish a disease to return from the grave just so you can be the hero."
"You're one to talk about selfishness. How's that research in brain disorders coming along?"
"Pah, I've given up on that for now. It's not possible at this time... *psssh* Instead I'm considering applying to join a Zoofights team, and learn that way."
"Zoofights? That traveling gladiatorial animal show? A fascinating pursuit to be sure, if a tad morbid. I've looked at many animals in my studies of the crossing of life and death, and I'm not certain that-"
"Humbug, they're only animals. Animals don't have souls, or feelings. And they don't feel pain like we do. They are tools for advancing our knowledge, and devices for human entertainment."
Dr. Welward stared, deep in thought, before finally responding.
"Are they?"
For years after our conversation, I thought I knew the answer to that question. And it was "yes".
Today, I am no longer so certain.
You see, after the Black Plague was finally completing its greatest grim tour of Europe those 600 years ago, someone had the foresight to capture it. Bottled up a bit of the germ in a glass jar and put it on ice in the hope that someday something less indiscriminately genocidal could come of it. Such forward thinking was rare in those days.
Through the centuries, the knowledge was passed down but kept limited to a tiny few. Whoever had managed to capture the plague told a fellow scientist. In his old age, this scientist passed it on to his brightest understudy. And so did the secret follow the best of humankind through the ages. Some of those who knew studied the plague under microscopes, spending weeks, months, or years trying to crack its code. Others knew, and passed it on, but never once decided to mess with it themselves, being too fearful.
It was inevitable that someone would finally get careless. And about five years ago, someone did. And so the secret was secret no longer.
This was where being more advanced as a society came in. We knew what the plague could do. We'd all read about it in school. And we'd changed. Our streets were not dirty and filled with animals. The homeless and deprived were kept clean and safe in group homes. People knew what showers were. And antibiotics were more advanced. The Black Plague wasn't just a musty memory from our history books. It had come back, weaker, in recent centuries. But it never made the same impact - not in more developed nations. And our advances in science were why. It's things like that that make me proud to be a scientist.
The moment the first deaths were reported, a quarantine was placed upon the city. Citizens were allowed to evacuate only if passing a complete and total examination to determine they and all possessions they wished to bring were 100% free of the plague and of carriers like fleas or ticks.
I was lucky. I have no family here, and I never caught the plague. Why would I? I spent most of my time holed up in my fortress, and on the rare occasions I left for errands I was covered in my typical dress quite well. Once I'd heard of the plague spreading I added a hooded coat to my ensemble, but that was all.
But really, I was especially fortunate that I didn't have to see my colleague, Dr. Welward, as anything but a friend.
Bartholomew Welward... is a morbid man. A man who has worked with the dead for his entire career. He has two specialties. The first is studying fatal diseases with no known cure. The other is study of the limits of human life - where life ends and death begins, how long the mind can persist, and whether there is such a thing as a soul. The coming of the plague gave a huge boost to his activity. He seemed to take more pride in his grim work than ever, and for the first time in years he began treating live patients rather than just doing autopsies and funeral services. He quickly rose to prominence as the go-to man in the city for plague-related treatments and discussion.
And he began wearing that damned birdlike plague doctor mask all the time. He was entirely too excited about this.
"Afternoon, Welward."
"Afternoon, Bulgrave! Keeping well?"
"Well enough."
"No symptoms?"
"None at all. *psssh* Seems my choices in fashion are a boon."
"Good to know."
"How many today?"
"Just two. The government's done a fine job keeping everyone orderly about this. We've hardly got more than twenty cases, none outside Gunningshire, and it's been two whole weeks. A few of them even look like they'll survive."
"You sound disappointed."
"Well..."
"Welward, why? Why do you have such a sick fascination for human suffering? *psssh* You and I, our job is to relieve suffering, not revel in the causes."
"I do nothing of the sort, Bulgrave. Seeing these people... men, women, children, all types - seeing them in need moves me to find a cure. I have studied the Plague for-"
"There is no cure for the Black Plague. Immunization, yes - surgery, possibly - but not a cure."
"No KNOWN cure, my comrade. But I'll find it. I'll be the first. I will be the one who saved the people from the Plague."
"You're a few hundred years late on that one."
"This year begs to differ. It could rise again for real, Bulgrave, immune to our antibiotics. What then? Why, that's when the world turns to me."
"Seems rather selfish of you to wish a disease to return from the grave just so you can be the hero."
"You're one to talk about selfishness. How's that research in brain disorders coming along?"
"Pah, I've given up on that for now. It's not possible at this time... *psssh* Instead I'm considering applying to join a Zoofights team, and learn that way."
"Zoofights? That traveling gladiatorial animal show? A fascinating pursuit to be sure, if a tad morbid. I've looked at many animals in my studies of the crossing of life and death, and I'm not certain that-"
"Humbug, they're only animals. Animals don't have souls, or feelings. And they don't feel pain like we do. They are tools for advancing our knowledge, and devices for human entertainment."
Dr. Welward stared, deep in thought, before finally responding.
"Are they?"
For years after our conversation, I thought I knew the answer to that question. And it was "yes".
Today, I am no longer so certain.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Cutting Room Floor 7: Garland Edition
ColorChange: Question for Goops: is there a cutting room floor for the Garland fight?
GB: There is quite a bit of stuff that got left out
GB: Partly because of general circumstances not coming up
GB: And partly because so much insane shit was happening at once I just had no time
ColorChange: Ah
ColorChange: Show us D:
GB: Well
GB: The biggest thing that didn't happen is based off this foreshadowing from the bar
GB: 2 months ago - Mystery Knight slays the Great Ahriman of Earthgift Shrine
7 months ago - Scrap Metal Dug Up by Dr. Unne - Believed to be a Piece of the Legendary Omega
14 months ago - Infamous Scarmiglione Found Dead Outside Hellfire Chasm
3 years ago - Mysterious Purple Tentacle Washes up on Beach
5 years ago - Phantom Train Off the Rails - Mystery Challenger Derails the Fearsome Ghost
8 Years Ago - Graveyard Desecration - Corpses Litter Corneria Cemetery, Sword Marks on Local Grave
SteelKomodo: CORNERIA NO D:
SteelKomodo: WHERE'S STAR FOX WHEN YOU NEED THEM
SteelKomodo: (i may have made this joke before)
GB: See, Garland didn't kill Sarahdad
ColorChange: Wait, didn't we fight a few of those summons?
GB: We did
GB: But look at the last line
GB: This is from after we fought the summons, when Zeph and Gloria were doing research in the bar
ColorChange: . . . I don't like where this is going ;A;
GB: Garland didn't kill Sarahdad
GB: But he might have killed a necromancer along the way
SteelKomodo: ;^;
ColorChange: . . . Oh god what
ColorChange: No no no no no that's too sad
TheDeleter: well
GB: The idea was that he would go to the gravesite, summon the necromancer, and kill Zombie Sarahdad so he could summon Sarahdad
TheDeleter: that's terrible
GB: (It would probably have been the necromancer from Castle Crashers)
SteelKomodo: in the words of Orson Wells, "Why, that's terrible!"
GB: But due to having literally no time to write anything long like that during the fight Garland just beat the shit out of the girls instead
ColorChange: Ouch
GB: Next, here's a few unused summons Garland did not bring into any fights
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/Golem.png
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/Odin.png
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/Rubicante.png
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/SteelGiant.png
ColorChange: Oh fuck the All-Father
SteelKomodo: aw shit, I could have had Saxton Hale deck Odin in the face
SteelKomodo: "Don't you know you've been replaced by the globe-encompassing power of AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM?!"
GB: At some point, Electra was going to do this: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/ElectraCharge1.png
SteelKomodo: she still needs to do that
SteelKomodo: swear to god
GB: There's also this guy: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/GreenNinjaFFTMugshot.png
SteelKomodo: NINJAS =D
GB: This ninja was going to be working for Garland as an assistant
GB: maybe
ColorChange: RAIN YOU FIEND
GB: In truth I was confused about what his alliance would be
GB: I think at one point he was actually a concerned Mysidian coming to warn people about Garland, but he's one of those weird Japanese types who only gives up information if you prove yourself worthy
GB: So yeah, didn't know what to do with him and I had more than enough characters running around anyway, so he got dropped
ColorChange: I was going to have this be Zephyrus' swan song, but with Antoinette already dying I figured it'd end up just feeling like a repeat. So I axed it.
ColorChange: Oceanus would've lived to see the fight's end if he didn't deal with the fearsome foot of the tractor.
GB: Also, there is a major villain possibility for Browny if he ever does anything prominent again
ColorChange: So I had to emergency-draft Wheatley for a slow speed boat chase
ColorChange: . . . I read that as Browny being a major villain
SteelKomodo: ^
SteelKomodo: D:
GB: I saw that wording too. No, he doesn't have it in him
ColorChange: So now instead of Zephyrus becoming a corpse, he becomes a mechanic
ColorChange: Lets hope he can figure out how to fix a deadbro!
GB: He dropped off later in the year because people kept joining the police force and I wanted to do things with all of them together
ColorChange: D: Browny
GB: Browny was also very difficult to make a strong character out of, it seemed like
GB: He's so formal
GB: There is quite a bit of stuff that got left out
GB: Partly because of general circumstances not coming up
GB: And partly because so much insane shit was happening at once I just had no time
ColorChange: Ah
ColorChange: Show us D:
GB: Well
GB: The biggest thing that didn't happen is based off this foreshadowing from the bar
GB: 2 months ago - Mystery Knight slays the Great Ahriman of Earthgift Shrine
7 months ago - Scrap Metal Dug Up by Dr. Unne - Believed to be a Piece of the Legendary Omega
14 months ago - Infamous Scarmiglione Found Dead Outside Hellfire Chasm
3 years ago - Mysterious Purple Tentacle Washes up on Beach
5 years ago - Phantom Train Off the Rails - Mystery Challenger Derails the Fearsome Ghost
8 Years Ago - Graveyard Desecration - Corpses Litter Corneria Cemetery, Sword Marks on Local Grave
SteelKomodo: CORNERIA NO D:
SteelKomodo: WHERE'S STAR FOX WHEN YOU NEED THEM
SteelKomodo: (i may have made this joke before)
GB: See, Garland didn't kill Sarahdad
ColorChange: Wait, didn't we fight a few of those summons?
GB: We did
GB: But look at the last line
GB: This is from after we fought the summons, when Zeph and Gloria were doing research in the bar
ColorChange: . . . I don't like where this is going ;A;
GB: Garland didn't kill Sarahdad
GB: But he might have killed a necromancer along the way
SteelKomodo: ;^;
ColorChange: . . . Oh god what
ColorChange: No no no no no that's too sad
TheDeleter: well
GB: The idea was that he would go to the gravesite, summon the necromancer, and kill Zombie Sarahdad so he could summon Sarahdad
TheDeleter: that's terrible
GB: (It would probably have been the necromancer from Castle Crashers)
SteelKomodo: in the words of Orson Wells, "Why, that's terrible!"
GB: But due to having literally no time to write anything long like that during the fight Garland just beat the shit out of the girls instead
ColorChange: Ouch
GB: Next, here's a few unused summons Garland did not bring into any fights
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/Golem.png
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/Odin.png
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/Rubicante.png
GB: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/SteelGiant.png
ColorChange: Oh fuck the All-Father
SteelKomodo: aw shit, I could have had Saxton Hale deck Odin in the face
SteelKomodo: "Don't you know you've been replaced by the globe-encompassing power of AUSTRALIAN CAPITALISM?!"
GB: At some point, Electra was going to do this: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/ElectraCharge1.png
SteelKomodo: she still needs to do that
SteelKomodo: swear to god
GB: There's also this guy: http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a135/Kracko/Zoofights/GreenNinjaFFTMugshot.png
SteelKomodo: NINJAS =D
GB: This ninja was going to be working for Garland as an assistant
GB: maybe
ColorChange: RAIN YOU FIEND
GB: In truth I was confused about what his alliance would be
GB: I think at one point he was actually a concerned Mysidian coming to warn people about Garland, but he's one of those weird Japanese types who only gives up information if you prove yourself worthy
GB: So yeah, didn't know what to do with him and I had more than enough characters running around anyway, so he got dropped
ColorChange: I was going to have this be Zephyrus' swan song, but with Antoinette already dying I figured it'd end up just feeling like a repeat. So I axed it.
ColorChange: Oceanus would've lived to see the fight's end if he didn't deal with the fearsome foot of the tractor.
GB: Also, there is a major villain possibility for Browny if he ever does anything prominent again
ColorChange: So I had to emergency-draft Wheatley for a slow speed boat chase
ColorChange: . . . I read that as Browny being a major villain
SteelKomodo: ^
SteelKomodo: D:
GB: I saw that wording too. No, he doesn't have it in him
ColorChange: So now instead of Zephyrus becoming a corpse, he becomes a mechanic
ColorChange: Lets hope he can figure out how to fix a deadbro!
GB: He dropped off later in the year because people kept joining the police force and I wanted to do things with all of them together
ColorChange: D: Browny
GB: Browny was also very difficult to make a strong character out of, it seemed like
GB: He's so formal
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Chatzy Madness Volume 21: The Air-Sea Battle Button Masher
GB: So I got my package
GB: 6 more thirty-year-old games, whoo
SteelKomodo: woot!
GB: And as a special bonus
GB: One of them has what must be the worst AI of all time
SteelKomodo: ooh, do tell
GB: Air-Sea Battle was made in 1977
GB: and it shows
GB: It was a launch title for the Atari
SteelKomodo: D:
SteelKomodo: oh boy
GB: It was intended to be played two-player
GB: There's 27 minigames total, with like 7 different themes and the rest are variations
SteelKomodo: ah
GB: Most of these minigames are two-player only, like the default one where the players control two anti-air cannons and try to shoot down more planes than their opponent
GB: However, there's an option to play the anti-air game with the AI
GB: The AI is the exact equivalent of a guy hammering on the fire button as fast as he can without moving the joystick
SteelKomodo: D:<
GB: It doesn't aim, it just fires constantly
GB: But since the default cannon position is diagonally upward
GB: it can still hit planes
GB: Final score was 20-14
GB: (I was the 20)
SteelKomodo: welp
SteelKomodo: that is literally worse than Rise of the Robots A.I.
SteelKomodo: (never played Rise of the Robots, thank god)
GB: The only AI I can think of that might be worse is Big Rigs
SteelKomodo: oh lawd Big Rigs
GB: At least you can still actually lose to the Air-Sea Battle Button Masher
GB: But in Big Rigs, you're always winner
GB: 6 more thirty-year-old games, whoo
SteelKomodo: woot!
GB: And as a special bonus
GB: One of them has what must be the worst AI of all time
SteelKomodo: ooh, do tell
GB: Air-Sea Battle was made in 1977
GB: and it shows
GB: It was a launch title for the Atari
SteelKomodo: D:
SteelKomodo: oh boy
GB: It was intended to be played two-player
GB: There's 27 minigames total, with like 7 different themes and the rest are variations
SteelKomodo: ah
GB: Most of these minigames are two-player only, like the default one where the players control two anti-air cannons and try to shoot down more planes than their opponent
GB: However, there's an option to play the anti-air game with the AI
GB: The AI is the exact equivalent of a guy hammering on the fire button as fast as he can without moving the joystick
SteelKomodo: D:<
GB: It doesn't aim, it just fires constantly
GB: But since the default cannon position is diagonally upward
GB: it can still hit planes
GB: Final score was 20-14
GB: (I was the 20)
SteelKomodo: welp
SteelKomodo: that is literally worse than Rise of the Robots A.I.
SteelKomodo: (never played Rise of the Robots, thank god)
GB: The only AI I can think of that might be worse is Big Rigs
SteelKomodo: oh lawd Big Rigs
GB: At least you can still actually lose to the Air-Sea Battle Button Masher
GB: But in Big Rigs, you're always winner
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