Tuesday, December 29, 2020

What Got Cut From Dark Matter Plot?

A lot.

But no, really. My main 2020 plot was always intended to be smaller in size than The Curse despite the increased stakes, but even with that in mind, the massive plot logjam we wound up with in the second half of the season, one of the most intense ever despite the low overall post count of the season, ensured I had to keep Dark Matter trimmed down to the basics. If it hadn't been for the plot's collaborative nature, Dark Matter might not have left much of an impact, but the events from other users kept the plot going when I was unable to squeeze in any events (I managed just one Dark Matter plot in July, one in August, two in September, and the three-day finale in October.)

As a result, a ton of content was cut from the plot, as I scaled even further back from my original plans. Most of it was Kirby-related content I cut in favor of focusing on alternate dimension Kobbers, as I felt that was on the whole the more interesting angle. Kracko and Miracle Matter were non-negotiable, however - these two Kirby bosses are near and dear to my heart. Let's go into why.

Miracle Matter is the easy one to explain. Aside from the Kirby 64 connection, Miracle Matter was also set up earlier in the year as the method to get Bree to slip in a Dark Matter representative, that being Miracle the Ditto. I couldn't very well cut Bree's only representation in the plot, and really didn't want to, either, considering the status I was planning to assign to Miracle as being the most powerful of the vassals due to the Dark Star Kobbers being unable to keep up with its' rapid shapeshifting. (Side note: We would have had an extra round of combat against Miracle where she turned into various Kirby bosses I'd had to cut from the plot, but I cut that round of battle as well when people figured out her deal early in the fight.)

Kracko is a personal one. On another forum I used to frequent way back before ZFRP took off, I was the author of a Paper Mario-themed fanfiction that, while juvenile and crude by my current writing standards, I will always owe a debt to, because it was how I first got the courage to start writing and posting things online and joining a community instead of being at the fringes. The fanfic was received well by my peers, to the point I'd built up a minor cult of personality around myself. One of the most ridiculous results of this was a user joining the forum with a username nigh-identical to my own, which they took specifically out of admiration of me. This was flattering and all, but the resulting name confusion bothered me, and rather than ask this person to change their username, I did my own change, and shifted from one minor Nintendo boss to another, going under the username "Kracko" for a while in the mid-2000s. As a result of using him as my name and avatar, I felt a connection to this silly recurring Kirby boss, and so when I decided to do a Kirby plot, I knew I simply had to integrate him into the proceedings.

So, about those cut characters... 

Friday, December 25, 2020

Chatzy Madness Volume 377: Call Me Ishmael

pizza o’ clock: I overslept this morning
pizza o’ clock: you could set my morning to the saved by the bell theme and it would be accurate

--- 

RubyChao: here is a fun fact
RubyChao: that will make you all feel old
RubyChao: today i taught pitohui about Half-Life: Full Life Consequences
Gooper Blooper: pitohui has wepon
Draco: I forgot Pitohui is in diapers.
RubyChao: [4:45 PM] Hooded Pitohui: I hate (read: enjoy) how much the choice of music and the camera panning at the "Saver of humens" segment makes this feel like a serious ending.
It's great after so much time watching this glorious steaming pile of meme garbage.

Draco: Full Life Consequences starring Biscotti

---

pizza o’ clock: I just read that chatzy madness
pizza o’ clock: and jrm you need to explain what the fuck the Jailers are
pizza o’ clock: because the name alone is giving me the shivers
pizza o’ clock: Like i know it’s a story you told your step nephew to keep him quiet but
pizza o’ clock: what did you tell him about the jailers
Jumpropeman: I don't remember too much of what was said, but the Jailers watch and listen for bad little kids who break the rules and come scoop them up and throw them in the old-fashioned kind of prison with iron bars.
pizza o’ clock: That’s some premium nightmare fuel right there
Jumpropeman: I wonder if he even remembers, I haven't seen him in ages
pizza o’ clock: I c
Jumpropeman: because the Jailers scooped him up obviously
Deleton King: thats some dr who villain material right there
Deleton King: chatzy madness confirms harp's cat is sprinkles

---

Draco: When I downloaded Opera on my new PC, it came with a built-in VPN. Because of that VPN, I just got to see a Dutch drill commercial.
Jumpropeman: lucky draco D: I don't get ANY drill commercials
Draco: Someday you'll get to go to Spatula City, I promise.
Jumpropeman: is that where Spongebob gets his spatula in the first episode of The 'Bob
Draco: The holy site, yes.

Monday, December 7, 2020

Chatzy Madness Volume 376: But Why, Though

(Re: Elliott's epilogue)

Draco: "They're good for business but my life doesn't revolve around them!" <- It does revolve around Citrus though.
Jungle Book 2 on Disney DVD: Someones gotta keep those breadheads in check!
Violet: breadheads, haaa

--- 

Miserable Sheep sees video titled: "A Witch's Spiritual Hoedown [Bonus Footage] [VHS]"
Miserable Sheep: Tempting.
Miserable Sheep: you're supposed to unspook it though
Violet: you're not supposed to unspook it
Miserable Sheep: unspook it you're supposed to though
Violet: okay yoda.

---

Jumpropeman joined the chat
Jumpropeman: i return in human form
thanksgivel: I'm not convinced
Draco: Me neither. Looks a bit...stretchy.
Jumpropeman browses at a thrift store but doesn't buy anything
Violet: that sounds like me
Jumpropeman: are you a human?
Violet: i window shop in more places than thrift stores
Violet: almost wrote "thrist stores"
Violet: which looks like "thirst stores"
Jumpropeman: Thirst Stores
Violet: so... dollar tree
thanksgivel: she's a Harpy, jrm
Jumpropeman: dang
Jumpropeman: my cover blown
Jumpropeman makes a nest out of string and human flesh? I'm new at this
thanksgivel puts a "You Tried" star on the nest
Draco: Harpy is secretly a creature of the Fey Wilds. RP is her way of dousing us in almost-lethal levels of cuteness.
Violet: i pledge my allegiance to the winter court, in an attempt to warm people's hearts
Violet: and also maybe overdo it.
Jumpropeman: I hadn't seen Brine's new cool ladies!
Violet: like gentle snowflakes turning into a dump of a snowstorm
Violet: its in his profiles now?
Jumpropeman: which one do I need to get unreasonably attached to this time
Jumpropeman: yup!
Violet: noice
Jumpropeman: I'm leaning toward Chunor
Draco: Goops and I already discussed which one DeMonde is adopting this year.
Jumpropeman: Game Gear's offseason misadventures as a stepmom: "You kids wanna play games together?" "Nah, not really." "Shit I'm out of ideas"
Violet: puppies...
Violet: or squidie...
Draco: It's okay, Game Gear. They're Nintendo Kids.

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Chatzy Madness Volume 375: Alfred Hitchcock, Original Shitposter

 Jumpropeman: new bartender?
Draco: Heck....that's way better than mine. D:
Jumpropeman: I don't see yours doing midair splits BI
Draco: No, this is true. :(
Draco: And look at that bar! So clean!

--- 

Jumpropeman: "Appearance
Blond mohawk (A Goofy Movie), buzzcut (An Extremely Goofy Movie), sunglasses, necklace with a gold triangle, ear piercing, white T-shirt (green in "An Extremely Goofy Movie"), shorts (pants in "An Extremely Goofy Movie"), and sandals (shoes in "An Extremely Goofy Movie")"

Jumpropeman: disney wiki on point with Bobby's wardrobe

---

Hooded Pitohui: My PROPS to JRM, for being a fellow willing to genuinely come back after a highly active season and writing 100 Fites to put forth the effort needed to give a living piece of candy a well-written, respectful death.
Jumpropeman: thank you pitohui! I must have tapped a vein too personal while writing this because it got me to tears
Hooded Pitohui: You made me tear up a little, too, so it's not just you, though I'm a sentimentalist anyways. You really gave this fellow a fitting ending.
Draco: My goodness, what an emotional scene! ;o;
Hooded Pitohui: srspost - which, unless JRM has a surprise in store, I think wraps it up
Hooded Pitohui: My thanks to you, JRM, for this epilogue!
Jumpropeman: thank you pitohui. The scene was about Yellow, but it was for Hermes
Hooded Pitohui: It was, truly! I'm glad to say that, after all of this, Hermes and Kino will be back in S11, hopefully with the both of them getting more individual moments and chances to play off of other characters.
Jumpropeman: oh! That's good to hear!
RubyChao: god fucking dammit you two
RubyChao: you made a legitimately strongly emotional scene out of a living piece of candy and a talking motorcycle
RubyChao: zfrp at its finest
Jumpropeman: it's not about what they are chao, but who they are
Gooper Blooper joined the chat
Gooper Blooper: APPROACHING FEELS BARRIER
Sumalee: was reading this epilogue before i came back in here and
Sumalee: i'm crying over a peanut m&m...
Jumpropeman: me too harp
Sumalee: you've seen crying over an old lady and a hermit crab, now witness crying over a talking motorcycle and an m&m!
Gooper Blooper: he approached the sound barrier, harpy
Gooper Blooper: he did it.
Sumalee: STOP I CAN'T SEE IT IN THE SAME JOKEY WAY ANYMORE
Sumalee: you've ruined this meme and it hurts my heart
Draco: I gotta step up my game. You're next, Bag of Chips.
Gooper Blooper: and hermes will cast his gaze into the sky, see his friend among the stars, and say
Gooper Blooper: "look, a nut"
Sumalee: i'm glad i swallowed my coffee.
RubyChao: that's what happened to me too, harpy
RubyChao: the meme just isn't the same...
Sumalee: this meme... is sacred.
Sumalee: i'm glad i experienced this very epilogue without distractions.

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

Chatzy Madness Volume 374: Throw The Butt Casually

(Re: Halloween costumes)

LaptopDraco: Nobody is going to react to DeMonde telling Gale she has to dress up as a Nintendo thing tomorrow? jk
Jumpropeman: Game Gear walks in as a Game Boy Advance
LaptopDraco: Perfect! :V
Jumpropeman: Master System dresses as the Virtual Boy too
Jumpropeman: mostly because she wants to be ignored
LaptopDraco: Too late. She appeared and had dialogue. We love her now.

--- 

LaptopDraco: "You've got such a handsome forehead, Ravio! I'd like to see it more often~" <- Saturn's disgusting fetish emerges at last. jk
Jumpropeman: Saturn loves to flirt but is unsure how to confront the idea of being in an actual relationship!

---

RubyChao: i am going to Crash
RubyChao: just
RubyChao: megaflop
RubyChao: right after halloween rp
RubyChao: and then i can do things like epilogues!
RubyChao: but first, flopping.

---

Muffet Sheep gears grinding
Muffet Sheep: Darn, I meant to have the raccoons take bets on the fites
Muffet Sheep: oh well
Jumpropeman: well when they all end in friendship no one will get a prize
LaptopDraco: Hey, still time for it. We've got...by generous estimates...six hours?
LaptopDraco: Maybe nine
Muffet Sheep posts BK doing a backflip
LaptopDraco: Perfect!
LaptopDraco: And he backflips all the way to Agama.
Muffet Sheep: BK will not be coming to Agama
LaptopDraco: Agama will be coming to BK?! 8D
Muffet Sheep: We'll see if I hold to it, but I'm intending to cut down on appearances from prior character hanger-ons in Agama next year
LaptopDraco: Oh no! I thought Blanket was a shoo-in for a return!

---

The Bree joined the chat
The Bree: hi!
The Bree: frands <3
Jumpropeman: hello bree!
Jumpropeman: happy hallowbreen
The Bree: ah, my favorite day of the yearrr
The Bree: that inexplicable 24-hour period where you can... poke komachi in the tum and hear her make the sound like the pillsbury doughboy!
The Bree: no, wait, that's my second favorite. oh right, the one where everyone in RP wears nifty costumes and goes spoop in the night!
Muffet Sheep: I don't remember that holiday...
The Bree: speaking of nifty, what's niftu
Muffet Sheep: A potato
The Bree: *inb4 niftu's costume is "a god damn nap" like hina's*
The Bree: potato also very appropriate!
Jumpropeman: sheep beat me to it
Muffet Sheep: The Elcor has gone as a sumo table
Jumpropeman: i should just have sheep do my costumes
Jumpropeman: he's 2 for 2!

---

The Bree: was googling to doublecheck spelling of "schwarzenegger" (like, AHNOLD) but accidentally portmanteau'd it with terminator, typed "schwarzenator"
harpy: nailed it

Saturday, October 31, 2020

Chatzy Madness Volume 373: Yogi Bear Is My Boss

The Deleter: I kinda love that we have lovingly rendered breath of the wild link and byleth and joker
The Deleter: And banjo even
The Deleter: And then here's programmer-art-ass steve
The Deleter: Who can barely move
Jumpropeman: I'm so glad he's stiff as a board
The Deleter: Looks like garbage
all hallows ivel: that's how I felt about Game & Watch :U
The Deleter: And apparently is a stone cold killer
Jumpropeman: I like that if they look up you even see that black patch where there's no texture
all hallows ivel: Steve and Villager hang out, clearly
Jumpropeman: it's shocking how close to Just Minecraft it can look when you're Steve in the Minecraft stage
Jumpropeman: I kinda wish his reveal had been that. Just something at that Minecraft convention with Steve running around, nothing looks unusual... then Donkey Kong just bumbles into frame

--- 

all hallows ivel: Prodigious 36 lbs Lot of Pez Dispensers
Current Price: $153.00
Minimum Bid: $154.00

all hallows ivel: uh...
Jumpropeman: I like their choice of adjective
all hallows ivel: but of course, it IS a PRODIGIOUS lot

---

Misty Sheep: "The Sega Hard Girls are a set of characters where women have outfits based on the different consoles Sega manufactured back when it was still in the hardware game."
Misty Sheep: Sound like a buncha WEIRDOS
Misty Sheep: "Rather than having traditional difficulty settings, you unlock plans as you go, these options sometimes being as small as determining whether or not you can see the eyebrows of the main cast through their hair"
Misty Sheep: Okay.
Jumpropeman: while I understand why art has eyes/eyebrows visible through hair, I've personally never liked the look
Jumpropeman: I actually edited the art Setz did of Gysel to undo the eyebrows you could see through her hair :V
MobileDraco: 😱
MobileDraco: Butcher!
Misty Sheep: You do realize
Misty Sheep: You can never make fun of Goops and noses again
Jumpropeman: I'm making images MORE realistic!

---

Jumpropeman: so, I've quadruple checked it, but it appears The Game Hoard is in the first page of results when you google a little game called Helltaker
Misty Sheep: Never heard of it
Gooper Blooper: ...how
RubyChao: holy shit it is
Jumpropeman: I have no idea why spam emails keep acting like getting front page of google is hard-
Misty Sheep: That is a surprise
MAGIC: wow!
RubyChao: link
Gooper Blooper: Steam, Know Your Meme, Wikipedia, The Helltaker Wiki... and Game Hoard
Jumpropeman: why am I above Escapist
MAGIC: above metacritic
Jumpropeman: why am I above METACRITIC
MAGIC: because
MAGIC: u quality
Gooper Blooper: you beat TV Tropes, too
Gooper Blooper: And vanripper's twitter
MAGIC: i mean it has to beat it in clicks and all i'd assume
RubyChao: but jrm
RubyChao: does this make you as proud as being the top result
RubyChao: for DRACULA, CRAZY VAMPIRE
Jumpropeman: that will always have a spot in my heart

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Chatzy Madness Volume 372: Thrive, Bratty Egg

Jumpropeman: the only people as excited for bread as ZFRP characters are
Gooper Blooper: beautiful

--- 

Mel Returns was timed out
Mobile Draco: Mel did not return.

---

Jumpropeman: did Betty or Kalcyon stick around outside?
Jumpropeman: Maya's giving Grab some coins for the phone but isn't sure if he can reach the coin slot :V
Gooper Blooper: In my post, Stella goes back outside and gets the scoop from Maya
Jumpropeman: that works!
Gooper Blooper: the catbot cannot reach the coin slot :V
Jumpropeman: oh
Jumpropeman: that doesn't works!
Mop Sheep: Kalcyon's already been stripped for parts and put up on concrete blocks
Gooper Blooper: it is smol
Jumpropeman: they'll pile on top of each other
Mop Sheep: I can't believe a coin slot defeated the Kobbers
Mop Sheep: It all ends here
Mop Sheep: They had a good run
Gooper Blooper: well I mean all Chao has to do is respond to JRM :V
Mop Sheep: Choa, if your presence is with us, knock twice!
Jumpropeman: the suspense is killing me!
Mop Sheep: Deb tries to put the money in
Mop Sheep: Accidentally uses the drill hand
RubyChao: hi
RubyChao: sorry, multitasking
RubyChao: let me catch up
RubyChao: something that's been long-running finished up on my other forum
Jumpropeman: over on that forum they were struggling to reach a coin slot too
Jumpropeman: it's basically what chao's good for these days
RubyChao: i'd say kalcyon stayed outside, betty was inside
Jumpropeman: but can HE reach it
Mop Sheep: I put him under one of the legs of my coffee table to keep it steady
RubyChao: i mean
RubyChao: he's very tall
RubyChao: so probably
Mop Sheep: Then it turns out he's TOO tall and his robot body is to inflexible to reach down-
Bree: why IS kalcyon so tall, that wasn't his height as a human was it
RubyChao: nah
Bree: new headcanon, kalcyon was quite small as a human and when he became a robot he just went MAXIMUM LORGE
RubyChao: it was basically a side effect of the various other weapons and such
RubyChao: need the space for all that
RubyChao: scale up the body
Bree: no
Bree: I refuse
Bree: kalcyon just wanted to be thicc
Mop Sheep: A lot of people say "I wish I was taller".
Mop Sheep: Kalcyon just made it happen
Bree: like a football linebacker but made entirely of metal
Bree: the weapons were an afterthought, like "shit we got all this space, might as well put something useful in it"
Jumpropeman: Kalcyon as a human had a huge head but a baby's body
RubyChao: also i'm not sure i'll be able to focus for a while longer so
RubyChao: i'm just gonna let you guys borrow betty and kalcyon for now
RubyChao: thanks!
Mop Sheep: Seeya, Chao
Jumpropeman: that fool, leaving them in my care!
Jumpropeman: I'll make Kalcyon's baby body canon!