The GB Ensemble now has dates for when every major and secondary character first appeared. Because people care about when I started pretending to be a WarMech.
I'll also post the dates here in a timeline format:
August 15, 2010: The ZF5 bonus match between Widow Maker and Marlin the Magnificent is announced.
May 30, 2011: Hella Jeff demands to know where the nanchoes are.
June 9, 2011: Four white mages make their first appearance to surgineer Widow Maker.
July 1, 2011: Jumpropeman bets the Five-Mantis Band on Cash Cow.
July 3, 2011: The Necronomitron awakens.
July 12, 2011: Sweet Bro makes his first appearance.
July 14, 2011: The Nostronomitron is born.
July 30, 2011: WarMech-1 appears, communicating to Tiamat about finding Sarah.
July 31, 2011: Biollante appears in rose form.
August 1, 2011: The WarMech Leader is introduced.
August 3, 2011: WarMech-3 says his first line.
August 15, 2011: The Martian and Biollante combine into Biollante's final form to combat the Lord.
August 31, 2011: Marilith attacks the bar.
September 9, 2011: The first of Kraken's multiple attempts to accomplish something. Anything at all.
September 16, 2011: Cagnazzo crosses the ocean.
September 17, 2011: Lich's first line.
October 9, 2011: Shuma-Gorath pranks Oceanus by dumping live tarantulas on him. Sarah gathers up a few to give to Widow Maker as a get-well gift.
October 14, 2011: Zephyrus gives Widow Maker two beetles as gifts.
March 2, 2012: 'Unit 1' appears in a blog post.
March 22, 2012: Dr. Bulgrave makes his debut in the blog post "Origins".
April 15, 2012: The Storm Bikers drive out the Excite Bikers from Manhattan.
May 8, 2012: Browny makes his first forum appearance to arrest Blade.
May 16, 2012: Dr. Bulgrave introduces himself to the Storm Bikers.
May 24, 2012: Sarah is reunited with Josephine.
June 12, 2012: Clippy leaves Widow Maker's PC for the first time.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Cutting Room Floor 5
Here's some stuff I forgot to talk about in the last post!
-Browny was almost introduced early twice. I had an introductory post all written up where he dove into the bar to use it as cover, then headshotted a thug before noticing all the people behind him and awkwardly introducing himself. He was introduced for real a few days later during one of the first 2012 season events.
-The other possible Browny introduction is far weirder and goes farther back. He almost showed up during the 2011 season when Cornwind sent that giant alien to the bar. He would have appeared unannounced during the fight and shown a friendliness towards Zephyrus, and afterward Celestia would appear and reveal that Browny was actually a drastically upgraded Skeiron. However, I decided to keep Skeiron in his current form with his limited dialogue and love of bread.
-Speaking of Skeiron, he almost became a tagalong fanboy of Starscream, but wound up being one of sorts for Zephyrus instead when Starscream took like two weeks to recover after his Fite Yer Mates victory.
-The Necronomitron was going to lurk in the shadows for the whole tournament, then there'd be a Fite yer Mates event or something similar where a bunch of bargoers fought him. This was scrapped for two reasons: One, Air Man challenged Necro to a fight. Two, the RP Explosion rapidly made the Necronomitron small fry (and a hero).
-Who remembers this snippet from Hephaestus last year?
("FOOLS, I HAVE CAPTURED THE GIRL, AND SHALL USE HER TO-"
"Get back in thine jar, swit, or I shalt be forced to inject you into that pig I keep in the corner. It has Down's Syndrome.")
Yes, Hephaestus had somehow acquired a small, powerless fragment of Mr. Evil Midnight and was keeping him for (I'm guessing) experimental purposes.
At the end of my introductory post for the Tiamat event, after introducing all those bad guys, a pig with Down's syndrome was going to pop into existence, flying high in the air above the city, then squeal a squeal of challenge. LordPig would have had all the abilities of the Lord, but vastly weaker (although nearly as durable).
I removed LordPig for two reasons: I didn't want any Lord-related drama of any kind to taint the event, and I didn't want Cornwind to feel like I was making fun of him or something, bringing back everyone's villains and then doing this to his.
-Blade was supposed to be the important Storm Biker, what the hell :psyduck:
-Browny was almost introduced early twice. I had an introductory post all written up where he dove into the bar to use it as cover, then headshotted a thug before noticing all the people behind him and awkwardly introducing himself. He was introduced for real a few days later during one of the first 2012 season events.
-The other possible Browny introduction is far weirder and goes farther back. He almost showed up during the 2011 season when Cornwind sent that giant alien to the bar. He would have appeared unannounced during the fight and shown a friendliness towards Zephyrus, and afterward Celestia would appear and reveal that Browny was actually a drastically upgraded Skeiron. However, I decided to keep Skeiron in his current form with his limited dialogue and love of bread.
-Speaking of Skeiron, he almost became a tagalong fanboy of Starscream, but wound up being one of sorts for Zephyrus instead when Starscream took like two weeks to recover after his Fite Yer Mates victory.
-The Necronomitron was going to lurk in the shadows for the whole tournament, then there'd be a Fite yer Mates event or something similar where a bunch of bargoers fought him. This was scrapped for two reasons: One, Air Man challenged Necro to a fight. Two, the RP Explosion rapidly made the Necronomitron small fry (and a hero).
-Who remembers this snippet from Hephaestus last year?
("FOOLS, I HAVE CAPTURED THE GIRL, AND SHALL USE HER TO-"
"Get back in thine jar, swit, or I shalt be forced to inject you into that pig I keep in the corner. It has Down's Syndrome.")
Yes, Hephaestus had somehow acquired a small, powerless fragment of Mr. Evil Midnight and was keeping him for (I'm guessing) experimental purposes.
At the end of my introductory post for the Tiamat event, after introducing all those bad guys, a pig with Down's syndrome was going to pop into existence, flying high in the air above the city, then squeal a squeal of challenge. LordPig would have had all the abilities of the Lord, but vastly weaker (although nearly as durable).
I removed LordPig for two reasons: I didn't want any Lord-related drama of any kind to taint the event, and I didn't want Cornwind to feel like I was making fun of him or something, bringing back everyone's villains and then doing this to his.
-Blade was supposed to be the important Storm Biker, what the hell :psyduck:
Friday, June 15, 2012
Cutting Room Floor 4 and Ensemble Update
The GB Ensemble has been significantly added to and upgraded since it was first posted, and not just because the Dr. Bulgrave plot has created tons and tons of minor characters to write mini-profiles for. If you wanted to review the cast, check out their pictures, or just find out where the hell that sunglasses-wearing T-Rex with guns for arms came from, you can check it out here.
Now it's time for a quick Cutting Room Floor, with scrapped and altered storyline ideas!
* An old mini-plot I considered last year was about Widow Maker challenging Sarah to go a certain length of time without any sweets - either one or two days. Her success would probably have been tractored. Scrapped after Sarah went a day without sweets of her own free will to prepare herself for her fite with Draco.
* Project 29 was originally slated to be the "final boss" of the Projects - the last one to appear and the last one the bargoers fought. However, while drawing additional mutants I wound up making some that are even more dangerous-looking and powerful, so 29 was downgraded slightly and got to be unveiled early for the dinosaur hunt sequence.
* It was possible for the bargoers to tame Kasai Rex instead of killing him, but I didn't want to state it outright because if people knew it was an option they would obviously go for it and avoid killing him. Instead I figured maybe a T-Rex wearing sunglasses would get people to go "Wait, can we spare this one?". Sort of a secret bonus, if you will. Instead Jaxx Tantra punched him so hard his flesh vaporized. Welp.
* I have several scrapped RP characters, but I might use them someday so I won't say who they are. One I will mention is Cedric from King's Quest V, who I rejected in favor of Clippy, who fulfills a similar role.
Lastly, a few random RP thoughts.
* I was pretty much making the clockwork spider thing up from day to day. At first I thought about just making the spiders appear friendly. But then I thought, what if they actually were friendly due to glitches in their mass-produced AI?
* Dr. Bulgrave's name comes from a steampunk name generator. I took "Franklin" from one name and a last name from another was tweaked to "Bulgrave" from something else.
* I can't believe Lotta has nothing to do with the reincarnated Operatives.
* I actually thought Jonesy died when she was kidnapped by the Zerg. I normally would have been skeptical, but there was literally no way for her to escape. I figured it was a joint decision between Deleter and Erebus because they were bored of their main characters and wanted them to leave for a while, so this is how it would be accomplished, and after a lot of moping maybe Erebus would come back and there'd be a revival mission. What I didn't take into account was the possibility that the Zerg wanted her alive for something.
* The anniversary of the first RP couple forming (Saralex) is July 1. You can pretty much peg that as the starting point of the RP Explosion, as well, although it was a gradual thing that happened over the course of a month or so, starting in late June and reaching full steam by the end of July.
Now it's time for a quick Cutting Room Floor, with scrapped and altered storyline ideas!
* An old mini-plot I considered last year was about Widow Maker challenging Sarah to go a certain length of time without any sweets - either one or two days. Her success would probably have been tractored. Scrapped after Sarah went a day without sweets of her own free will to prepare herself for her fite with Draco.
* Project 29 was originally slated to be the "final boss" of the Projects - the last one to appear and the last one the bargoers fought. However, while drawing additional mutants I wound up making some that are even more dangerous-looking and powerful, so 29 was downgraded slightly and got to be unveiled early for the dinosaur hunt sequence.
* It was possible for the bargoers to tame Kasai Rex instead of killing him, but I didn't want to state it outright because if people knew it was an option they would obviously go for it and avoid killing him. Instead I figured maybe a T-Rex wearing sunglasses would get people to go "Wait, can we spare this one?". Sort of a secret bonus, if you will. Instead Jaxx Tantra punched him so hard his flesh vaporized. Welp.
* I have several scrapped RP characters, but I might use them someday so I won't say who they are. One I will mention is Cedric from King's Quest V, who I rejected in favor of Clippy, who fulfills a similar role.
Lastly, a few random RP thoughts.
* I was pretty much making the clockwork spider thing up from day to day. At first I thought about just making the spiders appear friendly. But then I thought, what if they actually were friendly due to glitches in their mass-produced AI?
* Dr. Bulgrave's name comes from a steampunk name generator. I took "Franklin" from one name and a last name from another was tweaked to "Bulgrave" from something else.
* I can't believe Lotta has nothing to do with the reincarnated Operatives.
* I actually thought Jonesy died when she was kidnapped by the Zerg. I normally would have been skeptical, but there was literally no way for her to escape. I figured it was a joint decision between Deleter and Erebus because they were bored of their main characters and wanted them to leave for a while, so this is how it would be accomplished, and after a lot of moping maybe Erebus would come back and there'd be a revival mission. What I didn't take into account was the possibility that the Zerg wanted her alive for something.
* The anniversary of the first RP couple forming (Saralex) is July 1. You can pretty much peg that as the starting point of the RP Explosion, as well, although it was a gradual thing that happened over the course of a month or so, starting in late June and reaching full steam by the end of July.
Monday, June 4, 2012
The Death Toll
Because I like useless statistics and because why not, it's time to count up how many times each of my characters has been killed!
Widow Maker - 3
- Sliced in two vertically in the Big Bar Brawl by Alexander Triden
- Bisected by the Lord
- Bisected by Urkrathos' chainsword
Wow, Widow Maker gets cut in half a lot.Yesterday's death at the hands of Urkrathos is the first time someone besides Elohim revived her, which means it's the first time she's avoided baby form.
Sarah - 2
- Gunned down during the Terminator Squadron fight
- Soul eaten by Atma
Sarah managed to go a seriously long time before her first death, but it did eventually come. She also came VERY close to dying after defeating Draco in Fite Yer Mates, but only just hung on.
Celestia - 0 (!!!)
I think Celestia might be the only major character of the 2011 season to never be killed. Everybody else I can think of either lost a Fite or died in RP. Rebecca could possibly count, although she didn't appear too often. After her you have to go down to characters like the Kirby Brigade and the Five-Mantis Band to find people who weren't killed at some point.
Skeiron - 4
- Crushed by Devastator
- Destroyed by Jaxx in the Fite Week Rumble
- Ripped to pieces by the Servitor shadow clone
- Blown up by Blade
Skeiron seems to die or be severely crippled very easily. I think it's because I can play fast-and-loose with him since he feels no pain and can just be rebuilt by Celestia.
The Martian/Biollante - 3
- Necronomitron - defeated by Zephyrus in FYM
- Nostronomitron - shot down by Celestia during the WarMech fight
- Biollante - Roasted by WarMechs
I'm not certain how many of these can be considered deaths. The Martian and Biollante have never needed outside help to recover from injury.
Hella Jeff - 2
- Destroyed by ROB in the Big Bar Brawl
- Killed by Doomrider in Fite Yer Mates
Hella Jeff also lost to Ironichide in FYM, but this was before losing a Fite was pretty much guaranteed death. I portrayed him as just really FUBAR instead.
Villains - 10
- Marilith - Destroyed by Alexander Triden
- Cagnazzo - Obliterated by a group effort from the bar
- Lich - Taken out during the Tiamat event
- Tiamat - Her death capped off the Tiamat event
- The Storm Bikers - Gale, Hurricane, and Tornado killed by Devil Ed, Doomrider, and Marcus
- The Projects - Projects 30, 31, and 32 murdered by Chet, Marcus, and Widow Maker
What's more notable are bad guys who manage to escape with their lives. So far that's limited to the Excite Bikers and some heel-face turns from Celestia, her Warmechs, Kraken, and the Martian.
The 2012 season has so far handed me two non-villain deaths. I expect quite a few more as we go through the summer - especially because I know my current perfect FYM record of 2-0 is not going to hold if I keep entering characters.
Widow Maker - 3
- Sliced in two vertically in the Big Bar Brawl by Alexander Triden
- Bisected by the Lord
- Bisected by Urkrathos' chainsword
Wow, Widow Maker gets cut in half a lot.Yesterday's death at the hands of Urkrathos is the first time someone besides Elohim revived her, which means it's the first time she's avoided baby form.
Sarah - 2
- Gunned down during the Terminator Squadron fight
- Soul eaten by Atma
Sarah managed to go a seriously long time before her first death, but it did eventually come. She also came VERY close to dying after defeating Draco in Fite Yer Mates, but only just hung on.
Celestia - 0 (!!!)
I think Celestia might be the only major character of the 2011 season to never be killed. Everybody else I can think of either lost a Fite or died in RP. Rebecca could possibly count, although she didn't appear too often. After her you have to go down to characters like the Kirby Brigade and the Five-Mantis Band to find people who weren't killed at some point.
Skeiron - 4
- Crushed by Devastator
- Destroyed by Jaxx in the Fite Week Rumble
- Ripped to pieces by the Servitor shadow clone
- Blown up by Blade
Skeiron seems to die or be severely crippled very easily. I think it's because I can play fast-and-loose with him since he feels no pain and can just be rebuilt by Celestia.
The Martian/Biollante - 3
- Necronomitron - defeated by Zephyrus in FYM
- Nostronomitron - shot down by Celestia during the WarMech fight
- Biollante - Roasted by WarMechs
I'm not certain how many of these can be considered deaths. The Martian and Biollante have never needed outside help to recover from injury.
Hella Jeff - 2
- Destroyed by ROB in the Big Bar Brawl
- Killed by Doomrider in Fite Yer Mates
Hella Jeff also lost to Ironichide in FYM, but this was before losing a Fite was pretty much guaranteed death. I portrayed him as just really FUBAR instead.
Villains - 10
- Marilith - Destroyed by Alexander Triden
- Cagnazzo - Obliterated by a group effort from the bar
- Lich - Taken out during the Tiamat event
- Tiamat - Her death capped off the Tiamat event
- The Storm Bikers - Gale, Hurricane, and Tornado killed by Devil Ed, Doomrider, and Marcus
- The Projects - Projects 30, 31, and 32 murdered by Chet, Marcus, and Widow Maker
What's more notable are bad guys who manage to escape with their lives. So far that's limited to the Excite Bikers and some heel-face turns from Celestia, her Warmechs, Kraken, and the Martian.
The 2012 season has so far handed me two non-villain deaths. I expect quite a few more as we go through the summer - especially because I know my current perfect FYM record of 2-0 is not going to hold if I keep entering characters.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
GB Crew Board Meeting
(I wanna do one too!)
A mantis. A white mage. A black mage. Several robots, a steampunk scientist, a horde of unruly bikers... it was quite crowded and chaotic in the small meeting room. A boombox desperately tried to keep the peace with relaxing elevator music.
Okay, people. People, can we bring this meeting to order?
People.
"Gooper is right. Can we settle down, please?", asked a girl wearing a green hood and brown dress.
"Four," Celestia said coldly.
They said they couldn't make it. Sick, I think.
Yes, lets. Okay, first item on the agenda... the Storm Bikers wanted to air a grievance?
Will you calm down?!
Listen, you guys are villains. Villain characters have a pretty poor record of survival at Zoofights. If you want to live, I suggest a Heel Face Turn.
Uuuugh.
Don't know. I want to see if we can reach Erebus first. It'd be nice to have Eshe or Erebus or Pech or even Antoinette onboard, and I know Tornado is aching to match bikes with Doomrider.
Yes, yes, heard it a million- Sarah, what are you doing.
"Just having a snack."
"Heh heh. Good ol' little sis."
Put that away, there's no eating in the meeting room.
Please have patience, Electra. There are an awful lot of you and I don't know if-
Jeff, go away.
Jeff, that ship has sailed. Big character rosters and subplots everywhere in this bitch.
Yeah, whatever. Does anyone have any other issues they'd like to address?
"I was thinking about adding a moral to our subplots."
A moral? Sarah, this isn't Aesop's Fables or a Saturday morning cartoon. This is Zoofights RP!
"That doesn't mean we can't use our positions to help educate!"
"Thanks, Electra. Eheheh..."
What exactly did you have in mind, Sarah?
"I was thinking clean energy."
...What?
"You know, going green! We could have the bikers switch to electric bikes, and outfit the slums with LED bulbs, and-"
"Advocate steam power and you've got my support."
"I'm also in favor of eating, breathing, and playing Sintendo games."
"Oh, FUCK YOU."
"Can I at least tell people to recycle?"
Sarah, I don't think we need any morals in our- DON'T YOU GIVE ME THOSE EYES.
STOP.
STOP THAT.
MEETING ADJOURNED, MEETING ADJOURNED!
A mantis. A white mage. A black mage. Several robots, a steampunk scientist, a horde of unruly bikers... it was quite crowded and chaotic in the small meeting room. A boombox desperately tried to keep the peace with relaxing elevator music.
Okay, people. People, can we bring this meeting to order?
"You quit freakin' staring at me, Bulgrave."
"Or else what, Project 28?"
"I'll sic Sarah on you."
"Ooh, a girl in a wheelchair. Pardon me while I wet myself, Project 28."
"Leave my daughter out of this."
People.
"Gooper is right. Can we settle down, please?", asked a girl wearing a green hood and brown dress.
"Who the hell are you?"
"Don't talk to my daughter like that!"
"What, another one? How many freaking kids did you pop out, anyway?"
"Four," Celestia said coldly.
"Where are the other two?"
They said they couldn't make it. Sick, I think.
"Bah, whatever. Let's get started."
"For once I'm agreeing with Dr. Bullshit. Let's get this over with."
Yes, lets. Okay, first item on the agenda... the Storm Bikers wanted to air a grievance?
"Damn right. We want assurances that we won't be killed off."
"This is the first steady job I've ever held!"
"I DON'T WANNA DIE"
Will you calm down?!
"WHY DID THE BIKER HAVE A SNACK AFTER BEING FIRED? BECAUSE THE PINK SLIP WAS A LOAF OF BREAD."
Listen, you guys are villains. Villain characters have a pretty poor record of survival at Zoofights. If you want to live, I suggest a Heel Face Turn.
"Fuck that noise! I ain't pulling a Celestia, and the boys won't either."
"YEAH!"
"Stop discriminating against the working villain, you ass!"
"WE'LL SUE"
Uuuugh.
"So when is the fight happening, anyway?"
Don't know. I want to see if we can reach Erebus first. It'd be nice to have Eshe or Erebus or Pech or even Antoinette onboard, and I know Tornado is aching to match bikes with Doomrider.
"That fire-headed mutant's bike is far inferior to Cyclone."
Yes, yes, heard it a million- Sarah, what are you doing.
"Just having a snack."
"Heh heh. Good ol' little sis."
Put that away, there's no eating in the meeting room.
"I hope you brought enough donuts for everybody."
"She didn't even bring enough donuts for herself! Pfffft hahahaha-"
"Am I ever going to get to do anything else?"
Please have patience, Electra. There are an awful lot of you and I don't know if-
"So i have been THINKING......... about a SUGESTOIN to improve the RP......."
"Oh for fuck's sake what is he doing here"
"What am I looking at?"
Jeff, go away.
"The RP has too many WORDS and SAYINGS! Ther should be more short posses like in the goog old days that I was there for."
Jeff, that ship has sailed. Big character rosters and subplots everywhere in this bitch.
"god DAMMMMMMNNNNNNNNN"
Yeah, whatever. Does anyone have any other issues they'd like to address?
"I was thinking about adding a moral to our subplots."
A moral? Sarah, this isn't Aesop's Fables or a Saturday morning cartoon. This is Zoofights RP!
"That doesn't mean we can't use our positions to help educate!"
"Uh, you got a little frosting on your cheek there, kid."
"Thanks, Electra. Eheheh..."
What exactly did you have in mind, Sarah?
"I was thinking clean energy."
...What?
"You know, going green! We could have the bikers switch to electric bikes, and outfit the slums with LED bulbs, and-"
"Advocate steam power and you've got my support."
"Sarah, this is ridiculous. And green technology sucked in the 90s, anyway. Also Dr. Bozo supports it and you'll never catch me on board with any plan of that bastard."
"Oh, FUCK YOU."
"Can I at least tell people to recycle?"
Sarah, I don't think we need any morals in our- DON'T YOU GIVE ME THOSE EYES.
STOP.
STOP THAT.
MEETING ADJOURNED, MEETING ADJOURNED!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
In Case of Emergency, Add SCIENCE
So last week I was browsing a forum and I used their search function and I noticed it had an identical layout to the Zoofights forums. Now, what gave me cause for minor concern was that this forum had a sticky topic where one of the admins asked people for donations because they had to pay to keep the forum up. So I got to thinking: If this forum requires payment from the admins, wouldn't that apply to the identically-formatted Zoofights Forums? What happens if Zoofights shut down? What of our hundreds of thousands of posts? Our lively match banter and ridiculous RP shenanigans?
For the last 47 hours, there has been a guest viewing the Zoofights Forums. This guest is my new friend and yours, HTTrack, a free program that allegedly mirrors websites and copies them to your computer. HTTrack's first mission is to copy the entirety of the Zoofights Forums. So far it's saved over 1.1 GB of data and written 8555 files. That extremely large filesize is a problem for sharing but perhaps I can lower it by deleting non-essential pages like the login page and whatnot, or maybe I could break up the results into separate topics.
If the worst does happen - there is no Zoofights this year and Major Failure forgets or neglects to pay his hosting fee - or the second worst happens and the Bar is wiped for whatever reason - we'll have a backup. I don't want to lose that summer of madness.
Hope this works!
For the last 47 hours, there has been a guest viewing the Zoofights Forums. This guest is my new friend and yours, HTTrack, a free program that allegedly mirrors websites and copies them to your computer. HTTrack's first mission is to copy the entirety of the Zoofights Forums. So far it's saved over 1.1 GB of data and written 8555 files. That extremely large filesize is a problem for sharing but perhaps I can lower it by deleting non-essential pages like the login page and whatnot, or maybe I could break up the results into separate topics.
If the worst does happen - there is no Zoofights this year and Major Failure forgets or neglects to pay his hosting fee - or the second worst happens and the Bar is wiped for whatever reason - we'll have a backup. I don't want to lose that summer of madness.
Hope this works!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
The Changing of the Gang - Part Three
Skeiron locked onto the bikers and prepared to fill them with lead and lasers. He'd gotten into plenty of scrapes like this on his regular city patrols, and didn't expect Blade and his gang to be any different.
Blade saw Skeiron's slightly dented eyes light up, and he quickly leaped backward towards his bike, still clutching his trusty lead pipe. In one swift movement, Blade got onto his bike and hit reverse, swerving around a nearby building and out of sight. Skeiron ignored the other bikers and chased after the one who'd attacked him. Gale waved over his fellow yellow-wearing biker Gust, while the red-clothed bikers Tornado and Hurricane exchanged a few words, glancing at the WarMech as it stomped towards Blade's hiding place.
All four biker henchmen saw the lead pipe strike Skeiron again as soon as he reached the corner of the building. Then the robot let loose with his weapons at last, but Blade roared forward on his bike and dodged the attacks, speeding just out of range. Skeiron swung his body around, trying to lock on to the pesky biker.
Gust and Gale urged their bikes forward. Gust's bike slammed into Skeiron hard from his left side, sending him staggering. Gale was next, lunging out with his own lead pipe (rustier than Blade's) and managing a dent. Skeiron spun on one leg from the force of the impact, before activating his jetpack and rising into the air.
"Shit!" Hurricane yelled. "We can't reach the damn thing!"
"YOU can't," Tornado shot back as he pulled out a pistol. "I got it covered."
Tornado began firing at Skeiron as the WarMech tried to aim at the bikers, which were all zipping around on their bikes. Tornado was a good marksman - he was still driving around, but every so often he'd casually point his gun at his enemy and squeeze off a shot. A few bullets dinged Skeiron's armor, and one actually embedded in his armor. However, the bullets couldn't get past the Ultralisk plating installed over Skeiron's body, unlike the pipe shots.
At last, Skeiron connected with his laser on Gust, who yelled as his arm was burned and he lost control of his bike. The motorcycle tilted and skid, crashing into Hurricane's bike and leaving both gang members in a heap on the ground with their rides.
Blade, meanwhile, was forming a plan. Even though Manhattan wasn't his usual turf, he knew the layout pretty well from reconnaissance missions, and knew that the Excite Bikers had set up a series of ramps and platforms to do mad tricks on when they weren't making a ruckus. Hopping off his bike, he walked over to the collection of ramps, half-pipes, and metal boxes and began to haul them around.
Skeiron swung his body and embedded the street with bullets. One dinged off Gale's helmet, and the frightened biker quickly sped off to seek shelter. Tornado grit his teeth and aimed carefully as Skeiron turned to face him, still hovering in the air.
One instant, Skeiron's eye was glowing, a laser about to shoot into the red biker's chest.
The next instant, Skeiron was stumbling back, kicking his legs and blaring a warning siren. Tornado had managed to shoot out his laser eye, and the bullet was stuck, preventing regeneration.
Things only got worse for Skeiron as Blade returned to the fray, using wheelies to jump from rooftop to rooftop. The leader of the bikers urged his machine forward, and drove clear off the roof of the nearest building. Blade reared back with his lead pipe and swung, knocking Skeiron out of the air and sending him to the road with a teeth-grinding shearing of metal. Blade touched down, his motorbike's powerful shocks absorbing most of the impact. Blade and Tornado climbed off their bikes and approached the downed mech.
His gears were grinding together roughly, his weapons were all offline (at least for now), and he could barely lift himself to face his opponents, but Skeiron remained resolute. He took one slow step towards the two bikers. Another. Another.
Blade grinned under his helmet, and beckoned the WarMech closer. He reached behind him into a storage compartment on his bike, and if the scene of a heavily damaged WarMech struggling to keep fighting against two opponents in the city streets wasn't deja-vu inducing enough...
"Come on then, ya fuckin' toy. I've got a present for ya..."
Tornado, realizing Blade's intentions, quickly backed away. The leader of the bikers pulled out a small black object, yanked it to remove a piece, and tossed the rest at Skeiron's feet before quickly backing up.
The grenade exploded, kicking up dust and smoke and obscuring Skeiron from view. Blade shielded his eyes and waited patiently, his lead pipe twitching in one hand.
(2)
When the smoke cleared, all that remained of Skeiron was a pile of twisted, maimed wreckage and what was probably one of his feet.
KO
Blade dusted himself off. "Well! Guess that settles that. Come on, Tornado, let's round up the others and get a move on.
Tornado laughed as he got on his bike. "You still got it, boss!"
"Damn straight!"
The two bikers high-fived and puttered off to assist Gust and Hurricane.
"UNIT SKEIRON IS ONLINE."
"Oh, Skeiron, Skeiron, Skeiron. You really do take after Zephyrus, don't you?"
Celestia sighed and patted the chassis of her creation. Skeiron looked down at her.
"SKEIRON TO CELESTIA. SKEIRON TO CELESTIA. YOU ARE SHRINKING."
"No, Skeiron, I just had to put your consciousness in the ED-209 body until I can get around to building a new WarMech body. What happened, anyway?"
"THIS UNIT GOT ITS ASS KICKED."
"So I gathered."
"REQUESTING ASSISTANCE."
"How about you tell me about the ones who took you out?"
Skeiron proceeded to relate (in ridiculously detailed and obsessive fashion) the appearance and mannerisms of the bikers while Celestia took occasional notes, nodding.
"Hmm. They could be anywhere in the city. They could be doing anything to anyone, too. In my experience, the gangs of this city are quite unpredictable. At least I'm confident they won't find the lab. It's not like this is Sarah's house or anyth-"
Celestia froze and slowly put her hand to her mouth.
"Oh god. Skeiron, I think we'd better start this hunt sooner rather than later. My daughters aren't safe."
Celestia went to her toolbox and produced her staff. Skeiron stomped a foot in anticipation.
"Let's move."
Blade saw Skeiron's slightly dented eyes light up, and he quickly leaped backward towards his bike, still clutching his trusty lead pipe. In one swift movement, Blade got onto his bike and hit reverse, swerving around a nearby building and out of sight. Skeiron ignored the other bikers and chased after the one who'd attacked him. Gale waved over his fellow yellow-wearing biker Gust, while the red-clothed bikers Tornado and Hurricane exchanged a few words, glancing at the WarMech as it stomped towards Blade's hiding place.
All four biker henchmen saw the lead pipe strike Skeiron again as soon as he reached the corner of the building. Then the robot let loose with his weapons at last, but Blade roared forward on his bike and dodged the attacks, speeding just out of range. Skeiron swung his body around, trying to lock on to the pesky biker.
Gust and Gale urged their bikes forward. Gust's bike slammed into Skeiron hard from his left side, sending him staggering. Gale was next, lunging out with his own lead pipe (rustier than Blade's) and managing a dent. Skeiron spun on one leg from the force of the impact, before activating his jetpack and rising into the air.
"Shit!" Hurricane yelled. "We can't reach the damn thing!"
"YOU can't," Tornado shot back as he pulled out a pistol. "I got it covered."
Tornado began firing at Skeiron as the WarMech tried to aim at the bikers, which were all zipping around on their bikes. Tornado was a good marksman - he was still driving around, but every so often he'd casually point his gun at his enemy and squeeze off a shot. A few bullets dinged Skeiron's armor, and one actually embedded in his armor. However, the bullets couldn't get past the Ultralisk plating installed over Skeiron's body, unlike the pipe shots.
At last, Skeiron connected with his laser on Gust, who yelled as his arm was burned and he lost control of his bike. The motorcycle tilted and skid, crashing into Hurricane's bike and leaving both gang members in a heap on the ground with their rides.
Blade, meanwhile, was forming a plan. Even though Manhattan wasn't his usual turf, he knew the layout pretty well from reconnaissance missions, and knew that the Excite Bikers had set up a series of ramps and platforms to do mad tricks on when they weren't making a ruckus. Hopping off his bike, he walked over to the collection of ramps, half-pipes, and metal boxes and began to haul them around.
Skeiron swung his body and embedded the street with bullets. One dinged off Gale's helmet, and the frightened biker quickly sped off to seek shelter. Tornado grit his teeth and aimed carefully as Skeiron turned to face him, still hovering in the air.
One instant, Skeiron's eye was glowing, a laser about to shoot into the red biker's chest.
The next instant, Skeiron was stumbling back, kicking his legs and blaring a warning siren. Tornado had managed to shoot out his laser eye, and the bullet was stuck, preventing regeneration.
Things only got worse for Skeiron as Blade returned to the fray, using wheelies to jump from rooftop to rooftop. The leader of the bikers urged his machine forward, and drove clear off the roof of the nearest building. Blade reared back with his lead pipe and swung, knocking Skeiron out of the air and sending him to the road with a teeth-grinding shearing of metal. Blade touched down, his motorbike's powerful shocks absorbing most of the impact. Blade and Tornado climbed off their bikes and approached the downed mech.
His gears were grinding together roughly, his weapons were all offline (at least for now), and he could barely lift himself to face his opponents, but Skeiron remained resolute. He took one slow step towards the two bikers. Another. Another.
Blade grinned under his helmet, and beckoned the WarMech closer. He reached behind him into a storage compartment on his bike, and if the scene of a heavily damaged WarMech struggling to keep fighting against two opponents in the city streets wasn't deja-vu inducing enough...
"Come on then, ya fuckin' toy. I've got a present for ya..."
Tornado, realizing Blade's intentions, quickly backed away. The leader of the bikers pulled out a small black object, yanked it to remove a piece, and tossed the rest at Skeiron's feet before quickly backing up.
The grenade exploded, kicking up dust and smoke and obscuring Skeiron from view. Blade shielded his eyes and waited patiently, his lead pipe twitching in one hand.
(2)
When the smoke cleared, all that remained of Skeiron was a pile of twisted, maimed wreckage and what was probably one of his feet.
KO
Blade dusted himself off. "Well! Guess that settles that. Come on, Tornado, let's round up the others and get a move on.
Tornado laughed as he got on his bike. "You still got it, boss!"
"Damn straight!"
The two bikers high-fived and puttered off to assist Gust and Hurricane.
-CELESTIA'S LAB-
"UNIT SKEIRON IS ONLINE."
"Oh, Skeiron, Skeiron, Skeiron. You really do take after Zephyrus, don't you?"
Celestia sighed and patted the chassis of her creation. Skeiron looked down at her.
"SKEIRON TO CELESTIA. SKEIRON TO CELESTIA. YOU ARE SHRINKING."
"No, Skeiron, I just had to put your consciousness in the ED-209 body until I can get around to building a new WarMech body. What happened, anyway?"
"THIS UNIT GOT ITS ASS KICKED."
"So I gathered."
"REQUESTING ASSISTANCE."
"How about you tell me about the ones who took you out?"
Skeiron proceeded to relate (in ridiculously detailed and obsessive fashion) the appearance and mannerisms of the bikers while Celestia took occasional notes, nodding.
"Hmm. They could be anywhere in the city. They could be doing anything to anyone, too. In my experience, the gangs of this city are quite unpredictable. At least I'm confident they won't find the lab. It's not like this is Sarah's house or anyth-"
Celestia froze and slowly put her hand to her mouth.
"Oh god. Skeiron, I think we'd better start this hunt sooner rather than later. My daughters aren't safe."
Celestia went to her toolbox and produced her staff. Skeiron stomped a foot in anticipation.
"Let's move."
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