Chatzy Madness Volume 354: Borf Forfles

Jumpropeman: "Everyone talking about “baby Yoda” is jarring for me because I loved Yoda so much as a child my mom lied to me that the movie “Mac and me” was about “baby Yoda” and I was so fucking stupid I believed her even all the way through watching it."

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iKomodo: First leaks of Pokémon Gun looking great
Draco: XD

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Draco: The next Brinegirl.
Jumpropeman: seems perfectly accurate

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(Immediately after a discussion about classic RP villain The Lord)

Muddled Sheep: link
Jumpropeman: not now noonsa
Gooper Blooper: sheeplot 2020 is just "Here's More Joke Enemies From Slayers"
Muddled Sheep: Noonsa is always relevant :I
Jumpropeman: Noonsa is hopefully not relevant to very recent chat
Muddled Sheep: ALWAYS relevant
Jumpropeman: o.o
Jumpropeman: meanwhile im over here trying to convince myself not to eat a pizza for some reason
Muddled Sheep: Would you eat in a house?
Muddled Sheep: Would you eat it with a mouse?
Jumpropeman: don't get me thinking about green eggs and ham again
Gooper Blooper: you'll make him cry!
Draco: Let's try hash browns and bacon instead.
Jumpropeman: I was dangerously close to making two characters from it RP characters. DANGEROUSLY.
Muddled Sheep: Dangerously cheesy?!
Jumpropeman: ONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE BEEN
Draco: Which two characters?
Muddled Sheep: Was it the French mouse :I
Gooper Blooper: one of them is, of course
Gooper Blooper: Joey
Muddled Sheep sounds of pottery toppling off the back of a donkey cart
Jumpropeman: https://youtube.com/watch?v=VurfnihEVl0
Jumpropeman: my favorite part of this scene: "He's a liar!" "If the man were a liar, his pants would be on fire. Those are clearly just scaredy pants."
Gooper Blooper: #TooLateForCurse
Jumpropeman: McWinkle is something interesting, in that he's a gruff, tough guy who does not get fed up with his bumbling sidekick's shenanigans
Jumpropeman: he's a very understanding bad guy
Muddled Sheep: He seemed a little fed up at the end of that scene
Jumpropeman: on some levels yeah
Jumpropeman: like, he's not completely permissive
Muddled Sheep: I see
Draco: How does Green Eggs and Ham have BAD GUYS?
Jumpropeman: I will not go further into a potential character analysis, I recognize this trap
Muddled Sheep: Trap???
Cornwind Evil: "Realizing they will not be able to raise enough money by legitimate means, Debbie convinces the other girls to engage in sexual activities for more money. They agree, but only if it is on their terms. From this point onward, the film abandons the central plot (leaving it unresolved whether Debbie ever makes it to Dallas)."
Cornwind Evil: Because, of course, this is vitally important.
Muddled Sheep: CW
Muddled Sheep: why
Jumpropeman: he fell for my trap!
Gooper Blooper: well, I mean, it's in the title!
Gooper Blooper: How can Debbie do Dallas if she's not in Dallas?!?!
Jumpropeman: there isn't even a character named Dallas
Jumpropeman: which feels like a missed opportunity
Draco: Deb made it to Dallas at least.
Muddled Sheep retreats back to the entirely different hell of post making
Jumpropeman: "Graham Silcock as “The other boy in the shower”"
Jumpropeman: holy
Jumpropeman: there are a lot of remakes, sequels, and spinoffs to Debbie Does Dallas
Jumpropeman: Debbie Does Dallas: The Revenge (2003)
Jumpropeman: "In 2001, Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical was created by Susan L. Schwartz for the New York International Fringe Festival.[16] In 2002 it was made into an Off-Broadway musical comedy of the same name.[17] Unlike the original movie, the musical did not contain any actual sex or nudity,[17] which caused some disappointment among people"
Jumpropeman: I am
Jumpropeman: not going down this particular rabbit hole
Jumpropeman: I'm going for that pizza
Cornwind Evil: I will, JRM
Cornwind Evil: Or rather I did
Cornwind Evil: And it is never confirmed if she ever made it to Dallas
Cornwind Evil: Who would have thought a pornographic film would care so little about its story premise.
Draco: Shocker, I agree.

Chatzy Madness Volume 353: The Big Fat Flumpus! I'll Put Salt On His Grapefruit.

Jumpropeman: people make fun of Pokemon characters for saying "An egg appeared! We don't know how it happened!" but they're probably just avoiding telling these child protagonists the pokemon are boning
Draco: Most likely, yes.
harpydoodle: "let me tell you about the pidgeys and the beedrills..."
Jumpropeman: they need to add a stork pokemon
Jumpropeman: so they can be how babies are mad
ivel: >mad
ivel: babies are fed up with storks carrying them around
Jumpropeman: i mean
Jumpropeman: babies seem pretty pissed after they're born
Draco: DeMonde just tells Shimmer that babies are made by moms in a hot forge for nine months after the dad provides them with raw materials.
harpydoodle: there's so much i can say on that
harpydoodle: but i won't
Jumpropeman: "Ewww, I thought they just had sex!"
Jumpropeman: even if Shimmer didn't know how babies were made before, she became pretty good friends with Meiling soooo...
harpydoodle: welp
harpydoodle: fair
Draco: "Nope. Forges. Parents only have sex when they want to annoy the neighbors. At least, that's what my neighbors apparently do."

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Jumpropeman: "a Chef’s hat traditionally has 100 folds. This is said to represent the number of different ways a chef knows how to cook eggs"
Jumpropeman: "Hushed silence as a mysterious chef steps into the kitchen with 101 folds.
Tears begin to stream down the faces of the cookstaff, seemingly unable or unwilling to move or speak.
Tears stream from the new chef’s eyes as they open their mouth, but what comes forth is only a high-pitched buzzing, louder and louder.
Every egg for a hundred and one miles begins to shudder and crack of its own volition"
Galar Blooper: final boss 2020
RubyChao: gordon ramsay returns
Draco: He was THE KING IN YELLOW all along!

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harpydoodle: >watching a video with ivel about google feud where the prompt was "what body parts can you ____"
harpydoodle: >one answer is "fill with bees"
ivel: another is "use in soccer"
ivel: which I understand what it means
ivel: but
ivel: it sounds much different
RubyChao: *Dr. Bees vibrates intensely*
harpydoodle: "there's a surprising lack of BEES in here-"
RubyChao: wait
RubyChao: you know what i realized?
ivel: there's a lack of BEES?
RubyChao: Queen Sectonia
RubyChao: is a bee
ivel: oh
harpydoodle: dr. bees betrayal incoming
RubyChao: who's ready for Dr. Bees to be my main character for Goopplot
harpydoodle: I'M SCARED
Galar Blooper: but what if Dr. Bees saves us all instead
harpydoodle: bee jesus...

The Curse Retrospective, Part 3: What Got Cut

Here it is, the third and final installment in my Curse blogposts - the one that goes over the cutting room floor to bring you all the Curse members and event ideas that didn't make it to the forum.

We start with Watson up there, who was my "faceclaim" for Evolution, the evil supercomputer that got merged with Masher in an earlier draft of the plot. That story was already recounted in Masher's entry in the previous installment of this series, so let's move on.

Chatzy Madness Volume 352: Moida Da Bum

Draco: Time to start writing a huge boss fight post to rival King Dice finale.
RubyChao: wow draco
RubyChao: that's a really early start on the Deb boss fight
RubyChao: good enthusiasm!
Draco: There's a lot of her to kill. Gotta get started early.
Jumpropeman: I'm not saying it's equal in importance or impressiveness to the finale of Curse plot, but I DID just beat Santa Clause 3: Escape Clause for GBA so...
Draco: :D
Draco: I can't wait to read the review.
Jumpropeman: you will actually have to wait
Jumpropeman: and don't worry, I already played Pilotwings
Draco: If I have to wait, then I'm rioting and demanding you give Limbo of the Lost a better rating.
Jumpropeman: *makes a new lowest rating and gives that to Limbo of the Lost*
Draco: (; yes

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Jumpropeman: holy
Jumpropeman: crap
Jumpropeman: we live on a planet where this happened
Jumpropeman: a wrestling event featured actual undertale content
Multi Sheep: I'm actually speechless
Draco: Best timeline.

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Jumpscareman: another dunkey vid has helped me discover the worst merch store on the planet: The one for Kanye West's new Jesus is King album
Jumpscareman: for 240 DOLLARS, you can wear this disaster
Jumpscareman: or maybe you'd rather wear this 20 dollar sock
Phreak: What a disaster
Phreak: ...but why
Jumpscareman: maybe shorts with an extremely stretched Jesus face instead for 100 bucks?
Phreak: Do i want jesus on my leg?
Phreak: no
Jumpscareman: or 60 for TWO ORBS
Jumpscareman: on purple!
Phreak: Wow.
Phreak: who would even wear that
Jumpscareman: people blinded by the cult of personality
Phreak: So Prawn
Phreak: or ivan
Phreak: ...tsurubami to troll
Jumpscareman: the Curse uniform people refused to wear actually had a stretched out lobster image on it and the words PRAWN IS KING
Phreak: disaster
Jumpscareman: The Curse just thought Plague got a crosspromotion deal with Red lobster when he showed it to em
Phreak: blurg
Phreak: disgusting
Jumpscareman: *checks*
Jumpscareman: okay, the Curse Membership Kit did NOT include any expert level foreshadowing
Phreak: Lel
Jumpscareman: goop coulda totally put in a ten dollar red lobster gift card or something
MobileSpooko: wao
Jumpscareman: but nope
Jumpscareman: instead it had 3D glasses as its weird inclusion
Jumpscareman: "-The current issue of The Curse's newsletter (you'll get a new issue every month!)"
Jumpscareman: the October issue must have been depressing
Jumpscareman: or conversely
Jumpscareman: uplifting to motivate people for the big push
Phreak: Highlight that dinosaur collection
MobileSpooko: Chompette's handlers wrote the newsletter.

The Curse Retrospective, Part 2: About The Cast

With the biggest plot of all time came the biggest cast of all time. There are far, far too many Curse members for me to give my thoughts on them all, but I will at least offer a bit of commentary on each of my own additions, plus a few honorable mentions for some of my favorite guest Curse.

The Curse Retrospective, Part 1: How The Curse Came To Be

The Curse. The biggest ZFRP plot of all time, and certainly not a record I'm willing to ever try to beat! Depending on how you count it, as many as sixty - or more - events in Season 9 had to do with The Curse. But how did it all start?

I haven't made it a secret that the name of The Curse, as well as eight of its' members - Plague, Shrapnel, Reaper, Impact, Titan, Puma, Ogre, and Troll - and several of the machines/vehicles that appeared, like Ogre and Troll's mech suits and the Badass Plague Tank - came from a real toyline. But the true origins of The Curse go back further than that. The Curse's origins are a tale of a little British toy company that could, their habit of reusing any molds they can to cut costs, and the world of 3.75-inch action figures.

Chatzy Madness Volume 351: The Curse Finale Edition

Jumpropeman: you know
Jumpropeman: Permakill would be a good name for a Kobber villain...
Jumpropeman: *rewrites my 2020 plot*
Gooper Blooper: any character he successfully damages is permakilled
Gooper Blooper: this can't possibly go wrong
Jumpropeman: so he's just Gregg
Gooper Blooper: I thought Gregg only normal killed
Jumpropeman: true, true
Jumpropeman: BUT
Jumpropeman: "In Conker's Bad Fur Day, Gregg has green shoes. However, In L&R, his shoes were changed to purple, along with his robe having a slight dark blue tint."
Jumpropeman: CLEARLY
Jumpropeman: Green Shoes Gregg permakills
Jumpropeman: and we only met Purple Shoes, Slight Dark Blue Tint Gregg
Gooper Blooper: I hope that wiki tells us about Gregg's personality
Ripple: I died to gregg?!?
Jumpropeman: the conker wiki does not appear to indulge in personality lists
Jumpropeman: "Gregg is very short (which Conker points out in the game when he dies for the first time) and speaks with an English accent. He despises cats (which have nine lives) and the Undead alike. Despite being the (or perhaps "a"?) Grim Reaper, Gregg is less than frightful."
Jumpropeman: however it is a fan of parenthetical statements

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Jumpropeman: why is doremy your least favorite hu goops
Modded Sheep: She knows what she did!
Jumpropeman: her last name is sweet
Jumpropeman: how can anyone hate her!
Gooper Blooper: Doremy is my least favorite hu because I regularly see her in a Yukari-esque holier-than-thou trolling role, AND the majority of that time she is focused specifically on going after Sumireko because of the whole "Sumi dreams to visit Gensokyo" thing and Doremy is all about that kind of stuff
Gooper Blooper: Now, those two things alone would be a rough tie with Yukari, but
Gooper Blooper: Yukari is cuter
Jumpropeman: but Doremy is covered in balls!
Modded Sheep: That IS true...
Modded Sheep: She IS covered in balls, Goops...
Modded Sheep: You CAN'T deny that she's covered in balls...
Modded Sheep has no idea who Doremy is

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RubyChao: you want me to edit my post to take out my stuff for your team, draco?
RubyChao: cause i'm cool with that
Gooper Blooper: As long as Yohane's attack is still "hacking" because I've already written that part
Jumpropeman: it's not just hacking
Jumpropeman: it's wheezing too!
RubyChao: i mean
RubyChao: yohane's attack options are basically
RubyChao: -Hacking
RubyChao: -Flopping
RubyChao: -Throwing Her Hair Meatball Somehow
RubyChao: so i think you're good