No Confidence

Why was the afterlife different from one person to the next? Why did people have so many different possible fates? There were many reasons why, but one of the most basic was that there were many afterlives, many hells and heavens. Which one you were sent to depending on numerous things, chief among them being your personal religion and culture. But you didn't always get to 'choose' your fate this way. The afterlives sometimes mingled with each other, the different godly and demonic beings in charge not always isolated. And especially sinful people could get in real trouble down here.

So it was that Hell, Incorporated came to be. Once just another offshoot of your standard fire-and-brimstone underworld, Lucifer had come up with grandiose plans long ago to make it all run just the way she liked it. A less chaotic hell. A less rambunctious hell. An organized realm with everything in its' proper place... and herself at the top, naturally. And as no one really subscribed to a land like this as part of their belief system, over time Hell, Inc became a sort of dumping ground for souls that other realms couldn't deal with or had no room for. Lucifer took pride in dealing with these especially troublesome beings, but not all the demons under her felt the same way.

Verosika Mayday was the perfect demon for Hell, Inc, because she was ambitious. Always a desirable quality for a high-ranking demon to have, it meant she worked hard and got results. The paradox was, though, that it was also an undesirable quality. Get too ambitious and you might start thinking you ought to be the one in charge. Lucifer had known to keep a close watch on Verosika. The woman was a little too ambitious for her own good. Over time, she had used her charms to win over other demons throughout Hell, Inc. Lucifer wasn't intimidated. Hell, Inc had a seven-member Board of Directors, herself and six others, and while Verosika was among their number and had been actively wooing the other five, Lucifer had plenty of pull herself and was working to keep her own subordinates pleased.

Too late, Lucifer realized her mistake. By the time Verosika's little movement had begun to pick up speed, the chance to be rid of her had passed. In the Hell, Inc rulebook, it was deemed possible for the Board to vote out any of its' own members, but this required a two-thirds or more supermajority - with the current roster of seven, that meant five demons voting in agreement. The rule was designed to cast out bad actors without making it too easy, but Lucifer hadn't wanted to pull the trigger the moment Verosika started showing signs of discontent, because she was a popular demon and voting her out at the first sign of ambition might have just made things worse. But now, things were a little more serious. Verosika had picked up two allies on the Board: Black Doom and the Vanterviper. With their help, she had a bulwark against being kicked off. Now it couldn't happen, and Lucifer was stuck with her, forced into a battle of personalities as her Board began to devolve into a standoff between two opposing parties.

It was a pain, but what Lucifer didn't know was that things were about to get far worse.

---

Most of Hell, Inc was stifling. Long hallways, cubicles, offices. Decorations weren't rare, but Lucifer's devotion to making Hell, Inc feel legitimate and organized had presented a starkly different version of the underworld from most. But here, in the board members meeting room, was where Lucifer retained some indulgences.

She sat at the head of the table, resting upon a wicked black throne carved from igneous rock. It was big. It was unwieldy. It was imposing. And it would be extremely uncomfortable to sit in for long periods if it wasn't for the large black cushion affixed to it. It was all of these things, and also an important reminder for Lucifer that she was a ruler of one of the many Hells, and the work she did here had consequences.

To her left, Lucifer saw Verosika and her merry little band, seated at their own less impressive but more practical chairs. Edil and Fice, the two heads of the Vanterviper, were already bickering with each other, and Black Doom was spinning around in his swivel chair. He had specifically requested 'a spinny chair' his first day on the board and had made the most of it ever since. It certainly didn't seem like a coup was at hand, considering the quality of Verosika's minions. They were useful in other ways, but it was difficult to take Verosika seriously with the company she kept... which made her current cool, collected demeanor all the more unsettling.

To her right, Lucifer saw her defensive wall. The board members she kept closest to her chest, that she trusted and had worked alongside for a long time.

Pandemonica. Lucifer's number two. She had been Lucy's first pick for the role of secretary, and had never left it. She nursed a mug of coffee - unsurprising, considering she was known as The Tired Demon. She'd gotten the title from overworking herself, leaning on coffee rather than sleep to keep going late. Lucifer had tried to get her to do less, but the woman was married to the job, and had taken to the transformation of their corner of Hell into Hell, Inc more than anyone, even Lucifer herself. She took a sip of her coffee and then made a mild grimace. It looked a little odd to Lucifer - she acted as if she didn't care for the coffee, but she'd been told this was Pandemonica's favorite brand. Maybe she should talk to her about it sometime.

Malina. Formerly a rebellious sort, Malina was known as The Sour Demon for her difficult personality, but she was a good worker when it counted. Her most recent act of defiance was to join the Salvagers, and to this day Lucifer still wasn't sure why. The Salvagers had wanted to flee a supposedly doomed planet... but that didn't include the underworld. Did Malina buy into the hype that hard? Did she just want to belong somewhere? Or perhaps by fleeing to another dimension she thought she could get out of work? In any regard, she'd cleaned up her act ever since Lucifer reprimanded her for the Salvager misadventure, and now she was a stalwart ally of Lucy.

Though... she also had a sister... 

Zdrada. Some called her The Bitch Demon, and while the title sounded insulting, it was one she had embraced whole-heartedly. Zdrada didn't give a damn what people thought about her, and Lucifer had found her brashness refreshing enough to promote her long ago. Zdrada had settled in well enough as a member of the board despite her troublesome tendencies, and Lucifer suspected that despite all of her efforts to prove otherwise, Zdrada cared about her nerdy little sister Malina.

This threesome wouldn't have been Lucifer's first choice to keep Verosika at bay, she had to admit, but after months - years - of the pink bitch building up her little cult of personality, she'd shown no sign of being able to get through to any of them. Zdrada had laughed her off. Pandemonica found her unprofessional. And Malina was just kind of grumpy towards everyone, but her consistent excellent work made Lucifer confident she knew which side her bread was buttered on. Yes, this would do. These three would ensure that Verosika would never succeed if she ever attempted a-

"I'd like to initiate a vote of No Confidence."

Lucifer blinked in stunned silence, looking over at Verosika, sitting quietly with her hands clasped together. "What did you say?"

"A vote of No Confidence." Verosika repeated. "Someone needs to go, and it's you. You are no longer fit for the role of CEO of Hell, Inc."

"You don't have the votes." Lucifer snapped.

"You can't dismiss the voting just because you say I don't have the votes." Verosika replied cooly. "If armchair quarterbacking was enough to determine winners, no one would need to play any football. If you're so confident in your position, the votes will see you though, won't they?"

Lucifer fumed. She had no veto power here, not when her own seat was on the line. "...Fine. We'll go in alphabetical order, then. Black Doom, your vote."

"Wheeeeeee~" Black Doom said, spinning in his chair.

"BLACK DOOM, YOUR VOTE."

"Ah! Right!" Black Doom stopped spinning. "It's an Aye from me. Sorry, Lucy, but you gotta go! We need someone willing to tempt the mortals and get some fresh blood down here! I can only play around with these dead gangster and would-be conqueror souls so many times!"

Lucifer let out a puff of air in disdain. She knew Black Doom would vote for her removal, but it was still a pain in the ass. "Very well. My turn next. I, of course, vote Nay. I've done great things for Hell, Inc, and things will only improve with time. Malina?"

"Nay." Malina said immediately, and Lucifer smiled. "Lucifer shouldn't be getting removed for such a petty reason. Hell, Inc is running smoothly and a change in leadership would probably fuck it up. Let's not."

"Very good. So that's one Aye and two Nays so far." Lucifer said a bit smugly, knowing just one more Nay would ensure she kept her job. She looked to Pandemonica, ready to see her deliver the finishing blow to Verosika's charade. "Pandemonica, your vote, please."

Pandemonica slowly looked up from her coffee. She stared at Lucifer, and the smile began to fade off of Lucy's face as she realized something was wrong.

"Aye." Pandemonica said. 

".......What?"

"I said aye. Or could you not hear me?" Pandemonica said quietly, stirring her coffee. "Wouldn't be surprised. You never could hear me."

"What are you talking about?"

"How many centuries have we been in this together, Lucy? How many times have you come to me for advice? How many times have I busted my ass for you? And yet I'm still just your secretary, nothing more, nothing better. Where's the upward mobility?"

"You're on the board! What higher rank could you want?!"

"I wanted to be your equal, Lucifer. I wanted us to be partners. Not whatever the Hell this is. We went into this Hell, Inc stuff together. But if you won't give me what I want, I have other ways of making it happen." She slurped her coffee. "Also, this coffee is awful and you're an idiot for changing the brand."

"I was told you loved that brand!"

"Well, I don't!" Pandemonica snapped. "It's TRASH. Who told you Wilkins was any fucking good at all?"

"I... Malina did, in a memo to me."

"Well, she was WRONG. If it was good, it would sell itself. Instead they got some insane Muppet hitman to force it on people. Show some common sense."

"Huh?" Malina blinked in confusion. "What are you on about, Boss? I never sent you any coffee memo." 

"What? Yes you did!" Lucifer said, whipping her head to face Malina. She felt like she was going crazy...

"I mean, I do like Wilkins Coffee, but I never..." Malina said quietly, her head lowered.

"Let's move on, shall we?" Verosika began to smirk. "Vanterviper, you're up."

"For once, Fice and I are in agreement!" Edil proclaimed, his mouth twisted into a sneer. "We both say Lucifer stinks! Vote her out!"

"Aye-aye!" Fice nodded.

"I see, I see." Verosika rubbed her chin. "My turn. Aye. Lucifer, you're a disgrace to devils everywhere."

"Wh-what is going on?!" Lucifer gripped the handles of her throne, looking around in a panic. She'd apparently been given bad advice... she'd lost Pandemonica's support... and if Malina didn't feed her the wrong information about Pandemonica's preferred coffee brand, then who-

"Ahahahahahaaaaaa."

Zdrada took a long drag on her cigarette, then blew a smoke cloud into the air. Verosika looked at her and pointed her way. "Zdrada. Got a vote for us, girl?"

"Yep." Zdrada gazed up at the ceiling, her smile widening. Lucifer felt her stomach drop. "Aye." 

"Zdrada... you..."

"You're boring me, Lucy." Zdrada cackled. "It's been fun, until it wasn't. Now get lost."

"The ayes have it!" Verosika proclaimed, rising from her seat. "By a vote of five to two, the board has removed you from your post. You have until tomorrow at 5 to clean out your office, Lucifer."

"This can't... this can't be happening..." Lucifer groaned, clutching at her head. Zdrada chuckled and puffed on her cigarette. The wrinkled visages of the Vanterviper crinkled with mirth. Black Doom went back to spinning in his chair. 

"Of course, we can't carry on without a CEO..." Verosika continued, her honeyed tone oozing with poison. "I humbly nominate myself for the job. All in favor, show of hands."

Lucifer silently looked on as everyone except Malina raised their hands. Well, and the Vanterviper, but the two worms saluted with their flexible horned noses to cast their vote.

"Then it's settled!" Verosika tittered. "I'll be in charge from now on. As for you, Lucifer... allow me to say the words I've been waiting oh so long to give you."

"You're fired. Get out."