Chatzy Madness Volume 404: Hitman Santa

Kuro: ventipost
Draco: >sparks of hope
Draco: Harpy's RPing Rabbids.
Kuro: no
Draco: );

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Kuro: posted
Kuro: *more incomprehensible screaming*

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Monumental Sheep gives self jumpscare with creepy art of Syzygy lurking in a tab
Monumental Sheep: I don't even need you!

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RubyChao: it is always inherently hilarious when you do things like knock out a guy and drag his unconscious body across the room
RubyChao: all while someone else is there but not looking
RubyChao: in hitman i mean
RubyChao: just the energy of "hmm. i wonder what's on tv'
Jumpropeman: i mean, do YOU know the sound of an unconscious body being dragged?
Jumpropeman: maybe it sounds JUST like the wind
Big Man: RubyChao: in hitman i mean
Big Man: Incredibly important clarification
Gooper Blooper: This is not the first time Chao started talking about Hitman without clarifying he was talking about Hitman
Jumpropeman: one day we play hitman and realize it doesn't line up at all with what he's been saying
Jumpropeman: it's just been a cover all along
Kuro: chao is a murderer

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Monumental Sheep egg timer sound
Monumental Sheep: Oh yeah. I have fancy mac and cheese that's just been
Monumental Sheep: sitting forever while I tried to push that post out
Monumental Sheep: brb

(later)

Monumental Sheep: Okay, I'm back
Monumental Sheep: The mac and cheese is delish
Monumental Sheep: Too much bacon though
Big Man: Impossible statement sheep
Big Man: It would have to be like
Big Man: Actually a 40/60 ratio of bacon to pasta might raise some eyebrows for me here so it's not an impossibility I guess
Big Man: I retract my statement
Monumental Sheep: Too much overwhelms the bouquet of textures and more subtle seasoning!
Monumental Sheep: I want just a hint of bacon with each bite! Not for it to be coated in it, darn it!
Jumpropeman: i like mac and cheese, i like bacon, but I don't know about mixing them
Monumental Sheep: Has bacon, creme freche, garlic chips, and fried onion, JRM
Jumpropeman: this isn't mac n cheese anymore
Monumental Sheep: :I
Monumental Sheep: This is like saying putting topping on a pizza, or replacing red for white sauce, no longer makes it a pizza!
Monumental Sheep attempts to appeal to the little pizza vampire in JRM's heart
Jumpropeman: pizza isn't called cheese and sauce!
Monumental Sheep: Macaroni noodles and cheese sauce is still the bedrock here!
Big Man: I've put bacon and leek into a Mac and cheese
Monumental Sheep: I would consider everything but the bacon to be subtle enough to qualify as seasoning
Kuro: look
Kuro: i dont' care 'bout whatever toppings on mac
Kuro: just do not put truffle on it unless you are ready to face the consequences of your actions
Kuro: truffle is about as subtle as a sucker punch to the teeth
Jumpropeman: we will need an expert opinion
Jumpropeman: Cheesasaurus Rex, what's the verdict
Kuro: hello, i am ex- how fucking dare you
Monumental Sheep: Wait until you hear I put eggplant on my pizza!
Jumpropeman: look harp
Jumpropeman: when the cheese starts flowing
Jumpropeman: it gets his noodle going
Kuro: i will rescind ani holds if you- NO
Kuro: I WILL RESCIND THE GENTLE CARESS IF YOU KEEP THIS UP
Kuro: I HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE WORDS

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Cornwind Evil: ""Ferrus Manus" means "Iron Hand" in Latin. His hands are made of xeno-necrodermis iron. His legion is called the Iron Hands. His flagship is called, "Hand Of Iron"."

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Crocodivel: >Game Hoard review of a childhood game ivelmom and I loved
Crocodivel: against my better judgement
Crocodivel: I sread it
Crocodivel: I shall read it*
Crocodivel: why did that get cut off so much
Gooper Blooper: Probably lag mid-typing, Ivel
Jumpropeman: what game ivel?
Crocodivel: Aaahh!!! Real Monsters (SNES)
Jumpropeman: did you play it on genesis or snes?
Crocodivel: snes
Crocodivel: my only Sega console was a Game Gear
Crocodivel: I still don't know why I had Robocop on that thing...
Crocodivel: ivelmom was always amused by Krumm's skill
Crocodivel: *keeps reading*
Crocodivel: :I
Gooper Blooper: Ivel and Game Hoard, name a more iconic rivalry
MobileDraco: Chris and EMMI
Jumpropeman: when does ivel destroy me and take my powers
MobileDraco: Harpy and Soup
MobileDraco: Or was it Harpy/Cereal?

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Gooper Blooper: link
Gooper Blooper: link
Draco: Clownpiece has cool mom's.
Draco: All three of them and Yellow too I guess.
Cornwind Evil: I clicked the wrong thing and went "Since when is Roll Clownpiece's mom."
Draco: I wasn't going to tell you all until next season...

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Jumpropeman: Fun fact: I originally thought that Suwako told Sanae she was a moriya descendant not because it was true, but because she already decided to adopt her and wanted to pep her up and avoid thoughts of unworthiness. Similarly, I thought Aqua wasn't really a moriya but was told she was one by the bad guys as they manipulated her to be their shrine-stealing stooge :V For some reason, I only believe Suwako can be a moriya
RubyChao: *scraps plans for the Annie Moriya reveal*
Jumpropeman: im just saying, i havent felt that frog-like aura anywhere else-
Draco: Suwako will teach them the frog-like aura during the off-season.
Draco: And then we find another Suwako granddaughter in Italy. That's a-Moriya!

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RubyChao: jade could shoot some guys tomorrow if she wanted!
The Big Man Experience: ah cool
RubyChao: where the context needed is
The Big Man Experience: hmmmmmmmm
RubyChao: "there are a lot of guys and they want to shoot agama"
The Big Man Experience: might be tricky since i have futbol and then family time finishing rings of power
The Big Man Experience: but depending on start time i might join in
Kuro: i was gonna do more action but then i realized that i was not going to squeeze that much effort out on some post not everyone is jumping in on so there's less bandwagony shit
RubyChao: planning to post up the start of the big army thing at 1 pm your time
RubyChao: and then just let it go all day
The Big Man Experience: ah cool cool
The Big Man Experience: well, i'll probably be at my family's prepping for the futbol
RubyChao: and thanks to you offering months ago there's even ex-nbn and ex-weyland guys in this
RubyChao: thanks again
The Big Man Experience: segfiawhdouqawgo
The Big Man Experience: hell yeah
RubyChao: yeah it's a big army where a guy went to lots of mooks who weren't happy about the kobbers fucking up their big organizations and went "hey wanna sign up for a militia to kill all the kobbers"
Kuro: akjsdkljlgfdkjlgj to you too
RubyChao: so i drew on a lot of old big villain groups
The Big Man Experience: they sent a message to jackson howard and he didn't even look up from his latest creation
RubyChao: heeeeh
The Big Man Experience: just like "why would i do that"
RubyChao: jackson howard's just "hey i'm fine with them, brawled and everything"
The Big Man Experience: he has a new ball pit probably
RubyChao: that's all he really needs in life
Kuro: jackson howard's in the middle of his ball pit spa time
Kuro: call back never
The Big Man Experience: i fucking LOVE that
The Big Man Experience: i wrote in that ball pit one time
The Big Man Experience: and everyone IMMEDIATELY agreed they had to steal it
The Big Man Experience: and then they stole it, and him, simultaneously
RubyChao: ball pits are good in all cases except for one
RubyChao: (the one is dashcon.)
Kuro: you wouldn't download a ball pit!!!
Kuro: *kobbers does just that*
Kuro: i dunno, i think twitchcon cube pit edges it out just slightly, but they're both bad in different ways
RubyChao: as someone who has been on tumblr for years it's funny how much like
The Big Man Experience: we have multiple characters that could, in fact, download a ball pit
RubyChao: dashcon remains The defining event that changed the site forever
RubyChao: even more than the porn ban
Kuro: oersted would not download a ball pit but he would sit in it
Kuro: damien just cannonballs his way in
Kuro: tanya's one of those "i'mma dip my toes in the pool to make sure the water's the right temp" kinda ball pit people
The Big Man Experience: jade flops around in the ball pit
The Big Man Experience: little buddy immediately attempts to weaponise the ball pit
Kuro: i mean they weaponized ink, why not plastic balls
Kuro: balltoon
The Big Man Experience: they made a sonar out of the cup and ball game
The Big Man Experience: they can make weapons outta anything
The Big Man Experience: although the salmons prefer cookware
Kuro: mmm, grills.
The Big Man Experience: they made tanks out of bbq grills
The Big Man Experience: they're powered by... something?
The Big Man Experience: its not clear
The Big Man Experience: i'm fascinated by the salmonids because for an enemy designed for the horde mode they have a ton of detail???
The Big Man Experience: i shall attempt to convey this with little buddy
RubyChao: oh i totally know the energy
The Big Man Experience: anyway he makes a little cannon that fires the balls

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Cornwind Evil: Anyone mind if I smash a small part of the moon, missing anything like where Junko and the rabbits live?
Jumpropeman: define "smash"
Jumpropeman: no eggman piss
Small Man: HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT OBAMA
Small Man: I ADVERTISED NFTS ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT

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Jumpropeman: I own Garfield Kart on Steam AND Indie Gala
Gooper Blooper: because when I think indies
Gooper Blooper: I think viacom properties

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Big Man: Im running ICOn
Everyone Is Here: Oh damn, what's ICOn?
Big Man: It's like final fantasy tactics but you can be a frog person

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Gooper Blooper: Great Things About ZFRP 4826: Anywhere else, if someone was gonna have a super epic penultimate final boss from FF7, surely 99% of people would pick Sephiroth
Gooper Blooper: but no, Chao whipped out this dude I'd never even heard of
RubyChao: ahaahhahahaaha
SteelKomodo asked Chatzy to choose between eurobeat, europop, speedcore and jsrf. Chatzy chose: europop
Kuro: I knew him, he was the inspiration for one character in CarverCorp!
SteelKomodo: ...OH
SteelKomodo: OH NO
SteelKomodo: THE DAY IS TODAY
RubyChao: yeah he's the military weapons guy - IT HAPPENED - from the evil megacorp in FF7
SteelKomodo: thankfully i have an out
SteelKomodo: i shall use a song that I like
Kuro: so basically carvercorp but worse
RubyChao: i liked his vibes and he ended up falling into the penultimate spot because of the nature of the army taking shape
Kuro: i hate him on the same level as Hojo
RubyChao: and today you kill him
Gooper Blooper: I like how the usual befriend-arrest-kill fates for antagonists are scattered all over the place in Cardholders, but when it came time for the Kings our man Chao just said "murder all of them"
RubyChao: ahuhuhu
RubyChao: yeah i just looked at these four and quadrupled down
Draco: Time to arrest Heidegger then.

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Gooper Blooper: In the buildup to this event, Chao had two of his normie girls (Minori and Kaede) going around asking all sorts of past Kobbers for help and giving them sifters
Gooper Blooper: So pretty much every old face that showed up in this event was recruited by them
Gooper Blooper: they saved us all
RubyChao: the theme of this concept was basically "all the connections the kobbers made in the past come back to save them in the present" because i love the thematic vibes of reaching out and being repaid for the willingness to extend to others
RubyChao: and boy
RubyChao: did it come out like that.
Gooper Blooper: the only reason I went full Everyone Is Here was just because I like Kaede and Minori
Gooper Blooper: (it was one of plenty of reasons)
RubyChao: it's also a good contrast to this army being made of all the rage and hatred that still persisted
Draco: Chao sent me a list of cameos he wanted so I did more.
Small Man: now im imagining the incredibly awkward scene of kaede asking vinny for help
RubyChao: ahahahahahhaa
RubyChao: kaede would definitely have let minori do most of the talking for that one.
Small Man: just the both of them standing around tiptoeing around what happened
Small Man: lol
Draco: "Vinny, at least listen to the marshmallow or I'm gonna Rider Ground you."
Gooper Blooper: I originally had a list of Chao's favorite past GB characters written up and ready to use, but come post time I threw it out and went "fuck it, I'm using everyone, he'll be so excited"
RubyChao: i was absurdly excited
RubyChao: so goops was right!
RubyChao: just this big dumb grin on my face getting bigger and dumber as i kept scrolling down
Kuro: yeee
Hooded Pitohui: That tracks with my experience. I had a recommended list from Chao, but seeing folks going so hard on using as many characters as possible made me expand that list.
Small Man: jonesy and delmond don't know kaede but they'd look and be like "this marshmallow is asking for help, we shall turn up"
RubyChao: she is a very friendly marshmallow

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Jumpropeman: gonna grab Neptuneman and Bambietta as well
RubyChao: jrm: draco called dibs on Bambietta
Jumpropeman: oh, sorry, draco got bambi
RubyChao: Neptuneman's still free tho
Jumpropeman: dang, then I can't say I did every cardholder fight :V
RubyChao: you'll just have to MURDER HER IN THE BRAWL next year
Jumpropeman: I'll do Neptuneman and Bambietta
Jumpropeman: wait, I meant Shimano
Jumpropeman: *just wants to kill her so bad my mind swapped her back in*
Draco: That's right. I have dibs on Bambietta during this plot, after this plot, and every other plot forever. ;V

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Small Man: theres a tweet from the japanese splatoon twitter that says big man is the patriarch of the manta clan?
Small Man: big dad????
RubyChao: that sounds exactly like a yakuza boss intro, how you phrased it
RubyChao: do i have to have kiryu fite big man
Small Man: uhhhhh
Kuro: kiryu works under big man
Kuro: we do not ask questions
Small Man: i was wrong, there's a scroll with big man's family tree on and he aint a dad
Small Man: so it might in fact be a yakuza situation :U
SteelKomodo: WELP
SteelKomodo: Kiryu vs Big Man!
Small Man: the new splatfest
Small Man: kiryu vs majima vs big man
Kuro: big man in a wwe game
Kuro: aaand entering the ring, it's... THE. BIG. MAN!
Kuro: *spamton's theme plays on kazoo*
Small Man: imagining the big man texture stretched over a wwe model and weeping
Kuro: suffer

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RubyChao: so fun fact
RubyChao: after much practice, on one of the hitman 2 sniper levels i got up to... #79 on the leaderboard!
RubyChao: out of like 300,000
RubyChao: i like these levels.
Draco: Rip in Cirno
Jumpropeman: nice work!
RubyChao: could probably do a little better, i did make one mistake at the very end, but that's for later
Jumpropeman: i don't put much weight in online leaderboards... until I've placed high on one and now they're legitimate measures of my skill :P
RubyChao: see? you get it

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Gooper Blooper: link
Jumpropeman: shaaaark
Draco: shork
RubyChao: i fully expect someone to faceclaim Gura for a whalestrand OC
Gooper Blooper: a
Jumpropeman: I'll put her in a yellow outfit instead and give her some pokemon
Draco: I'll do it if I'm allowed to give her the power to turn into a shark monster.
Draco: It's not a dragon or a Suwako so it's different, right?

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RubyChao: tomorrow
RubyChao: i leave boston
RubyChao: it was a fun time
Jumpropeman: chao got his target and got out undetected
RubyChao: if you hear about any suspicious boston deaths, no you didnt
Kuro: okay agent 47

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RubyChao: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/100490990
Draco: Yohane smugly asking when You's wedding is.
RubyChao: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/97673103
Gooper Blooper: "The wedding? May." "I know who you're marrying, but when IS it" "god dammit of course we would end up together huh"
Kuro: huge kekasaurus
Draco: "You would."
Gooper Blooper: "did you hear may is marrying you" "Well I should hope I'd know if someone proposed to me, but you're saying they might not go through with it?"
RubyChao: i'm changing my mind about the pairing
Gooper Blooper: <announcer voice> M A Y
Kuro: bad luck watanabe
Kuro: ooo, big stretch
Draco: I love it even more now.

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Kuro: i'm just glad to have an excuse to write even though now i have to revise chapters 2-4 to an extent
Steve Birdscemi: it actually comes to me when i just go "i dunno lets make it up on the fly"
Kuro: it comes from the part of me that wants actual "young adult" fiction, as in, "actual fucking people adjusting to early adulthood"
Kuro: we emerge from the cocoon of puberty an awkward, stumbling butterfly that has yet to know how to use these damn wings
Kuro: need more fiction to represent that
Mogwai Sheep: Like an actual butterfly!
Kuro: i am being the change i want to be
Kuro: because i sure am 29 and going, "okay so how the fuck am I gonna reconnect with someone I like but only talk to occasionally?"
Kuro: how do i reconnect, period
Kuro: beep boop
Mogwai Sheep: Well that's nice
Mogwai Sheep sitting in rocking chair, knitting
Kuro: okay grandma
Mogwai Sheep tells the same story about that winter in the old country where we boiled our socks

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Mogwai Sheep: "She didn't really know any of them. All of these new faces. All of these strange people."
Mogwai Sheep: Jonesy, you had a space squid for a bartender. They're just as strange as they've always been.
Jumpropeman: to be fair sheep
Jumpropeman: he was a cuttlefish
Steve Birdscemi: listen, gezora didn't dress in spandex and shout his attack names
Mogwai Sheep: to be fair, jrm
Jumpropeman: as far as you know
Steve Birdscemi: nor was he one of like a million girls in fancy dresses that fly around and shoot magic bullets
Mogwai Sheep pushes JRM down some stairs
Mogwai Sheep: We had a Sarah
Jumpropeman: you let one touhou in and then a few years later its an infestation
Mogwai Sheep: That's practically the same thing!
Mogwai Sheep: "Optimus was there"
Mogwai Sheep: Honestly, his presence is more surprising than Erebus-
Steve Birdscemi: whalestrand surprise return, optimus prime
Steve Birdscemi: as a boat
Mogwai Sheep: Hearts of Steel Optimus go

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MobileDraco: I have asked for Live A Live for my birthday so hopefully I get to join the "knows Oersted's source material" club
Kuro: hell yeah
Kuro: chao isn't here but he'll probably go "hell yeah"
MobileDraco: hell yeah
Jeff Goldbird: yell heah
RubyChao joined the chat
RubyChao: hell yeah
Kuro: can't believe i made that jackass likable-

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RubyChao: "Inspiring Woman Becomes Professional Surfer Despite Shark Biting Head Off"
RubyChao: congrats, bonki
Gooper Blooper: "That shark couldn't stop me from heading for success."
Draco: lol

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MobileDraco: Official Pizza of Kobbers:
Richard Attenbird: hell yeah
Richard Attenbird: jade ordering from there erry weekend
Richard Attenbird: little buddy stealing the pans for weapons

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SteelKomodo: did Kaydence's epilogue
RubyChao: i gotta say
RubyChao: and i say this with full "this is good character writing and i express this opinion while making it clear i don't dislike the character because of it"
RubyChao: kaydence is a bitch, huh :V
MobileDraco: Kaydence should have asked for some of Silvania's cocaine
SteelKomodo: she is very bitchy
SteelKomodo: she's a bored, overstimulated teen forced to live in real-life EPCOT
SteelKomodo: and also she can hear computers talking but can't shut it off
SteelKomodo: end result = bitch
Kuro: its like carol except immature
SteelKomodo: yes
SteelKomodo: highly accurate actually
Kuro: "carol we found your kid please help"
Kuro: :V
SteelKomodo: lmao
MobileDraco: We'll send her to No Computers Land where there's no tech to hear.

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Bree: so I've mentioned critical role's ridiculous nordVPN ads but apparently after much joking about it they finally made a joke a reality and did a nordverse oneshot
Draco: lol
Bree: it's called GENERATION NORD and the player characters are all teens and it's set in the year 1995 and they have to save the still-young world wide web from a virus called RU1NAT1ON that is trying to ruin the internet for everyone
Bree: yes really this is the premise
Bree: the virus is described as "the internet's first ever troll" -- it basically is trying to annoy/frustrate people so much that they quit using the internet
Bree: this is an actual thing sam said to the players: "I will reward players who make up complex technical terms. I will reward the overuse of hacker jargon. I will reward obscure 90s pop culture references."
Bree: everyone's characters have a different specialty (including one guy's specialty being "The Dude With The Car" because they're all teens and when you're a teen someone having a car is a Big Deal :V)
Bree: but liam's character is The Gamer Geek
Bree: his sordid hacker history is that he got kicked out of college for selling people cheat codes for video games
Bree: they're currently trying to break into a building and liam's character pulled out a sega saturn and tried to wire it into the keycard reader to hack it
Bree: (sam explicitly said "this is not the real world, this is the nordverse, don't be afraid to think outside the box" :V)
Bree: two guards overheard this and came outside and are attacking him
Bree: and liam was like
Bree: "I'm going to grab the sega saturn"
Bree: "and I'm going to yell RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE and hit him across the face with the sega saturn"
Draco: Damn Sharon.
Bree: and so I wanted to come in and tell you all that I recognized a reference because y'all have made it before :V
Bree: yeah sadly he didn't land the hit
Bree: for reasons that I'm too lazy to explain they earlier covered liam's character in vaseline
Bree: so when he rolled poorly liam narrated that the saturn shot right out of his slippery hands like a rocket (he made a sound effect like "SHOOP")
Bree: and is now lost forever
Draco: Amazing.
Gooper Blooper: RIP
RubyChao: sharon permakill
Draco: She was retiring anyway.
Jumpropeman: poor thing
Bree: also liam made a meta joke by having his character say that sega will rule the console market for 1,000 years :V
Draco: They will. By making the best Sonic games Nintendo could ever want.
Jumpropeman: there's an anime based on a dude who gets isekai'd and comes back to reality utterly disappointed sega no longer makes consoles
Jumpropeman: especially since he used his sega knowledge to kick butt in the other world
Bree: they modified a d20 RPG system for this oneshot (sam explicitly said they did not playtest it so it's probably horribly broken) and among the apparent adjustments made are a bunch of new skills, and liam's character has a "knowledge of gaming" skill
Bree: also instead of rolling d20s, they roll d8s and sam said it's because 8-bit and then liam pointed out that it was already 16-bit by 1995 lel
Jumpropeman: he was still on game boy timeline
Jumpropeman: it was still 8-bit
Bree: the anachronisms are rampant, lou's character said something about DVDs and sam said they hadn't been invented yet and lou made up something about it being top secret experimental not-yet-rolled-out tech or something and sam looked it up and DVDs did debut in '95 or something apparently :V
Bree: the teen protags have been assembled by a government agency, the NSAA, who are top-secreter and cooler than the NSA and have a second A in their name so they're the NSAA
Bree: and sam described how state of the art all the NSAA's hardware is and he described the agent putting in a VHS and showing it on a 38 inch TV and aimee said "38 inches thick" :V
Gooper Blooper: sounds about right
Bree: at one point a character pulled an entire 90s-era desktop computer out of his pocket
Bree: this was after the group was given a laptop which sam described as weighing 18 pounds
Bree: oh and when the NSAA lady told them they had one last chance to ask for any equipment they thought they'd need, aimee's character asked for rollerskate sneakers and then sam and aimee argued about whether those exist yet
Bree: they rolled to determine if aimee could or could not have some and aimee won so she got to have them and then someone apparently messaged sam that those were invented in 1999 so aimee's character just has something that doesn't exist yet :V
Draco: TIME COMPRESSION
Draco: All times exist at once!
Bree: liam, asked what he wants to do on his turn: do I see the sega saturn anywhere?
sam: yes. in pieces, all over the place.
Bree: RIP sharon
Jumpropeman: QQ

---

Draco: I'm dying. My folks have someone to come over and clean the floors every other week and they just texted me to say they won't be here tomorrow. No problem, I say back. Then I notice my screen still has some sauce on it from when I spilled so I wipe it off. I don't notice until I'm done that I sent her a huge smiley emoji, so she sent one right back and I don't know if I should laugh at myself, cringe at myself, or both at myself. XD
SteelKomodo: lmao
SteelKomodo: amazing
Harpbebobop: She took it in stride my dude
Harpbebobop: 🙂

---

RubyChao: me and draco posted Annie and Kirika's epilogue
RubyChao: it is very cute, you should read it
Gooper Blooper: it was indeed very cute
Gooper Blooper: I'll miss those two <3
Draco: Pretty good for Chao's jerk, eh? ;p
Gooper Blooper: she was SUCH a jerk
RubyChao: as it turns out, if you want to write a jerk
RubyChao: don't make them an orphan with anxiety
Gooper Blooper: lessons learned
Jumpropeman makes all my villains orphans
Draco: Oh well. When you introduce the next Atelier girl, SHE can be the jerk.

---

---

Draco: Suwako: Aqua, we're hungry!
Darkness: Aqua! What's for dinner?
Sanae: We're hungry, Aqua!
Aqua, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

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Cornwind Evil: One thing that Ash loved in Season 5 was "I'M SOMEWHERE WHERE CONVIENENCE STORES EXIST AGAIN."
Jumpropeman: thanks to grab n go, we'll never be without any again!
Gooper Blooper: happy to help
Cornwind Evil: Yeah but there's no Grab and Go in Weav
Draco: Yet.
Draco starts setting up the rocket full of cute commerce witches.
Jumpropeman: you're doing god's work, drac o7
Cornwind Evil: Dawn: Why do you need a rocket
MobileDraco: Because it's cooler than just walking through a portal with a hundred boxes of Chex Mix.
Cornwind Evil: That or they'll think someone is attacking them
Draco: It will be the most delicious of invasions. :3

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Mogwai Sheep joined the chat
Mogwai Sheep: ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMA-
Mogwai Sheep slams door shut and barricades it.

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Gooper Blooper: peachpuff prevents world war 3 by summoning Every Kobber Ever At Once, film at 11
Gooper Blooper: while simultaneously taking care of a decade-old loose thread without even trying, no less
Gooper Blooper: ultimate power play
Draco: link
Jumpropeman: kaede calling her bodyguard back
Kuro: like summoning beetlejuice
Draco: Nah. Kaede's saved the world. She's ready to settle down with a nature vampire.
RubyChao: too bad Peko is going to Whalestrand babyyyy
Gooper Blooper: I enjoyed how, when me and Chao memed Peko at each other, we'd always go "pekopekopeko" but then JRM had Cirno use "Pekokokokoko" and now both are used
Kuro: pekokokokopekokokokokopekokokoko
RubyChao: it's a spooky gothic setting how can i NOT use the vampire
RubyChao: (reminder that originally she would have probably retired at the end of season 10)
Gooper Blooper: Peko continuously finding ways to keep going is one of my favorite Chao RP things
Draco: pepepepepepepepepepepepepepeko
Gooper Blooper: pipis
RubyChao: *vibrates* Peko room.

---

RubyChao: >youtube recommends me a song named Blood Sugar
RubyChao: you know what i thought of.
Kuro: yep
Wayne Kite: hell yeah
Wayne Kite: is it by pendulum
RubyChao: yep
RubyChao: is that specifically where teo got their eidolon name
Wayne Kite: yes!
Wayne Kite: it sure was a banger in *checks notes* 2005
RubyChao: nice
RubyChao: well i'm listening to it now and it's still a banger
Wayne Kite: hell yeah

---

Seychelles joined the chat
Kuro: hi sey
Big Man: Hey sexy
Big Man: *sey
Big Man: Wow autocorrect
Big Man: Land me in the shit again huh???

---

Hooded Pitohui: Google started sending a news push notification to my phone that I haven't bothered to turn off yet because it's silent, but I think it may, just perhaps, be broken. It's sent me, two times a day, the same "New Horizons Version 2.0.6 Minor Update Released" article for three days now. Half-tempted to see how long it sticks on that one.
Jumpropeman: you don't understand pito, this is THE minor update you've been waiting for!
Hooded Pitohui: Animal Crossing has achieved perfection, clearly

---

Draco wobbles.
Jumpropeman wibbles
Draco sends out his first Pokemon, Agumon.
Jumpropeman sends out my first Pokemon, Krypto the Super Dog
Draco: O_O
Draco flees.
Jumpropeman: that's what I THOUGHT

---

SteelKomodo: i still live
Mogwai Sheep: We'll see about that!
SteelKomodo: D:
Nagy Ember: Sheep
Nagy Ember: You're cool as hell
Nagy Ember: But if I touch my bro
Nagy Ember: *you
Nagy Ember: Touch my bro
Nagy Ember: Nobody will find the body
SteelKomodo: you should also not touch me bro
Nagy Ember: Lmao
Nagy Ember: You'd break my nose
SteelKomodo: i would
Nagy Ember: And also other bones
Nagy Ember: But hey
Nagy Ember: That ain't happening
Mogwai Sheep: Nobody touch anybody!

---

Mogwai Sheep: It looks like there is a strange Action Movie With Christmas coming
Mogwai Sheep: Where Santa appears to be the hitman for a young girl
Mogwai Sheep: Or at least taking orders from her over phone
SteelKomodo: welp
Nagy Ember: Santa would be an excellent hitman
Nagy Ember: Untraceable
Nagy Ember: Can get anywhere in a single night
Nagy Ember: Like the Futurama gag but good
Jumpropeman: au contraire, he leaves his DNA at every scene! If he'd just finish the cookies and milk instead of leaving them half eaten though he'd be good

---

iKomodo: So there is a new true facts from zefrank
iKomodo: but it is about tarantulas
iKomodo: so if you are the big arachnophobe like i am, do not watch
iKomodo: Although it will teach you how little fucks a cricket gives
Jumpropeman: considering the fact that when everything else gets quiet a cricket still makes a noise that means "I'm horny" as loud as possible, that sounds in line with their usual character

---

Cornwind Evil: Well, Happy Birthday Draco.
Cornwind Evil: I have a gift!
Cornwind Evil: See, Clownpiece heard about this symphogear thing that all the cool kids are doing, and a bunch have kaiju, so she decided she'd do the same!
Cornwind Evil: But she was told that such powers were 'memetic" if she activated them
Cornwind Evil: She got confused
Cornwind Evil: At first she thought that meant the powers were "me" focused.
Cornwind Evil: Then she thought it meant the powers were "meme" focused.
Cornwind Evil: And, uh...it kind of...affected...the final result

Jumpropeman: cool art, cornwind!
Draco: lol
Draco: Thank you, Cornwind. XD
Cornwind Evil: You're welcome Draco. The drawer included two slight variants, here they are
Kuro: so is this piece of Clownpiece's temporary transformation form after getting a bite outta chaos
Draco: Permanent. She's going to find another Eggert Particle and achieve her Perfect Form.
Gooper Blooper: That art is excellent, I look forward to Draco finding a way to use it on-forum
Cornwind Evil has probably set up his latest nightmare horror destroyer villain to be bapped into submission via a giant spatula.
Kuro: yeah basically
Gooper Blooper: It's been twelve years. You know how we operate.
Kuro: we save the serious people for the serious threats
Kuro: and oersted just ain't it-
Cornwind Evil: Who the heck decided to give Symphogear Clownpiece that as a weapon?
Cornwind Evil looks around.
Cornwind Evil: ......oh.

---

Draco: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/5837181
Jumpropeman: chris is such a badass in rp I have trouble seeing her like that
Jumpropeman: kanade in the other hand... surprised she's in anything fancy-
RubyChao: https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/5798517
Draco: The AU where Chris outgunned both Pitohuis to win a date with Kanade or something IDK.

---

Mogwai Sheep: https://youtube.com/watch?v=nPwDYhPE_bw
Jumpropeman: christmas is only a month away!
Draco: Got your lineup of Grinch games ready to review?
Jumpropeman: there's a ds and dreamcast grinch game, but paying more than 10 bucks for either feels wrong

---

Gooper Blooper: It returns: https://vtrans.vermont.gov/name-a-plow
Draco: Ice Dragon is a good choice.
Jumpropeman: UNSTOPPABLE JEFF
Jumpropeman: Buzz Iceclear is a good one

---

Jumpropeman: I often wonder if Jay Jay the Jet Plane has any cultural footprint
Jumpropeman: am I keeping this flash in the pan franchise alive by rarely mentioning it
MobileDraco: Yes
Jumpropeman: it's on Yippee, a "faith-based" streaming service
Jumpropeman: "A wholesome alternative to YouTube
No ads, no algorithms, no sassy attitudes."
Jumpropeman: I always hated Youtube's sass!
Gooper Blooper: They must be referring to when you right-click a youtube video and one of the options is "stats for nerds"
Jumpropeman: wait...
Jumpropeman: there's a series on Yippee
Jumpropeman: that uses Butch Hartman's art style... is this his long promised Christian streaming service?
ivel: no, Hartman's was different
Jumpropeman: https://watch.yippee.tv/the-garden-2
ivel: his was Oaxis
Gooper Blooper: For only 200 dollars you can have Butch Hartman trace a picture of Jay-Jay the Jet Plane
Jumpropeman: first thing I'll do if I win the lottery
ivel: "Yippee TV is an American children’s subscription video on-demand over-the-top streaming service, founded in December 2019 and is based in Los Angeles, California.[1][2][3] Through a partnership with NBCUniversal and Big Idea Entertainment, Yippee TV became the exclusive streaming service of the Christian computer generated musical children's animation series The VeggieTales Show in 2019.[4] "
ivel: why so many descriptors?
MobileDraco: Wow. And I thought it looked bad when Butch traced Ranma for a commission.
ivel: anyway someone in LA founded Yippee
Gooper Blooper: Personality: American (currently), children's (hopefully), subscription (pls)
Jumpropeman: a rebooted Jay Jay series was announced back in july
Jumpropeman: unfortunately, they are removing the horrifying human faces on all the vehicles >:I
Gooper Blooper: JRM's next character: Buster from Arthur flying Jay-Jay
Jumpropeman: "Savannah is a supersonic jet who lives in TarryTown. She can go really really fast because when she goes fast, she can to a sonic boom. She is the flying teacher of Tracy, who tries to fly high just like her. But she stills needs to practices until she gets better. She camed all the way from Georgia and she was thinking about a flower from a swmap."
Gooper Blooper: WHAT ARE YE DOIN IN MY SWMAP

---

Gooper Blooper: gonna head out, nite guys
Jumpropeman: good night gooper!
Gooper Blooper left the chat
Cornwind Evil: I somehow read that as "Good night Goopbert"
Jumpropeman: i only use his full name when he's misbehaving

---

RubyChao: Rhaena reached out and grabbed his beard and pulled his face to hers. “Hear this, my lord. Do not think to wed again. Take care of the whelps my mother gave you, my half-brother and half-sister. See that they want for nothing. Do that, and I will let you be. If I should hear even a whisper of your taking some other poor maid to wife, I will make another Harrenhal of Storm’s End, with you and her inside it.”
When she had stormed from the hall, back to her dragon in the yard, Lord Rogar and his brothers shared a laugh. “She is mad,” he declared. “Does she think to frighten me? Me? I did not fear the wroth of Maegor the Cruel, should I fear hers?” Thereafter he drank a cup of wine, summoned his steward to make arrangements for his wife’s burial, and sent his brother Ser Garon to invite the king and queen to stay on for a feast in honor of his daughter.*
* Rogar Baratheon never wed again
RubyChao: i like the footnote
RubyChao: this was one guy who knew better than to fuck around and find out
Jumpropeman: his libido: destroyed

---

Regular Del joined the chat
Regular Del changed name to Unregular Del

---

Jumpropeman: "Sometimes you will find yourself in the Rumpus Room!"
Jumpropeman: Pokemon Rumble Blast does not explain what a rumpus room is after this note
RubyChao: and you may find yourself
RubyChao: in a rumpus room
Jumpropeman: this is not my beautiful rumpus!

(later)

Jumpropeman: "You've wandered into the Rumpus Room"
Jumpropeman: IT'S HAPPENING

---

Mogwai Sheep: "Zoey wasn't sure how to feel about Sousa's behavior"
Mogwai Sheep: No one does.
Draco: Crispy.
Mogwai Sheep: If you feel crispy, you should consult a physician!
Draco: I did. He suggested I feel Buffalo style.
Jumpropeman: Sousa's repaired spine will be our revenge on the academy
Jumpropeman: they will never be free of his antics now
Draco: They'll need to give someone a robot spine to combat him.
RubyChao: penny has a robot spine by definition!
Draco: This is true. She might have to fight Sousa.

---

Jumpropeman: "RubyChao: i don't think i'm winning dym anyway so i'm not that fussed"
Kuro: push chao to the moon out of spite

---

Brine: Everyone’s asleep? Oona time.

---

(A few highlights from the one-day trend of using an AI generator that redoes the pictures you give it)

Ani
Benita
Dennis
Ebisuwaru
Game Gear
Hakra
Kotohime
Margit
Mary
Naoko
Natasha
Rachel and Mega Drive
Yui
Zoey
Jester Chao, The Unreadable

Jumpropeman: jester chao cannot be comprehended
Gooper Blooper: I love that the AI can't do anything with Jester Chao, that's absolutely perfect
RubyChao: it really is
RubyChao: his visage is too powerful
Jumpropeman: ran it a few times, it's consistently a problem
RubyChao: don't run it too much jrm
RubyChao: you don't want to risk what might happen

---

VERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES: God damnit now all I can think about is Jade attempting to hit third base by putting on Freek'n You after a date
EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES: Deeply troubling

--- 

Dr ivesy: https://i.redd.it/8y6fsv3p5o3a1.jpg
Jumpropeman: puddi puddi
Dr ivesy: https://i.redd.it/he06bbvp5o3a1.jpg
Jumpropeman: oh no
Jumpropeman: tragedy
Dr ivesy: the worst thing to happen to Nep
Jumpropeman: she'll never recover from this

---

Gooper Blooper: small pokemon thought: I appreciate that Zangoose and Seviper appear together these days. It was kind of hard to sell the "they're bitter rivals" thing back in Gen 3 when you would literally never see one of them
Jumpropeman: in Pokemon Go, Zangoose and Seviper aren't even allowed in the same parts of the planet
Gooper Blooper: long distance rivalry
Gooper Blooper: they play angry chess by mail
Jumpropeman: maybe the idea is that in any one area they both occupy, one has been completely killed off by the other

---

Sey (Seychelles) joined the chat
Jumpropeman: hi sey!
Sey: Hey
Draco: Hey sey
Sey: Sorry about my absence
Hooded Pitohui: Hey there, Sy
Hooded Pitohui: *Sey
Sey: I have been called worse

---

RubyChao: video games!!!!
RubyChao: that is all
Draco: I'm playing VIDEO GAMES.
Gooper Blooper: gideo vames
Jumpropeman: video games? never heard of 'em
Gooper Blooper: they're pretty cool, you should give them a shot sometime
Kuro joined the chat
Kuro: hunger keeps me awake
Jumpropeman: harpy needs food badly
Kuro: i'm toasting up waffles, i'm good
RubyChao: god jrm
RubyChao: there was a song based on that line that's been in my head forever
RubyChao: even though i haven't listened to it in like 10 years
RubyChao: let me see if i can find it
RubyChao: found it, it's not even very good
RubyChao: i just remember the cadence on "THE WIZARD NEEDS FOOD BADLY" from the chorus
Jumpropeman: "You say Tomato, I say Video Games"
Jumpropeman: what a line

---

Jumpropeman: "Pokemon Violet Bird-locked" I can't believe Pito didn't play it this way

---

Jumpropeman: "Hey, trust the fungus!" Classic Mario :')
Draco: Wow! He's my MAIN MAN.

---

RubyChao: https://youtube.com/watch?v=vEK0AHppJzQ
Jumpropeman: she's got life figured out
Draco: RP Canon
Jumpropeman: this is what we all thought her job was

---

Jumpropeman: https://youtube.com/watch?v=RWxEHTGYRbM
Okuyasu’s Cheese Fiasco: What a find
Jumpropeman: hearing a shopping channel personality scream CHIKORITA is wild
Okuyasu’s Cheese Fiasco: Lmao

---

Jumpropeman: https://youtube.com/watch?v=68QizttYqmQ
Gooper Blooper: GRRRR MEDIA BAD, MUST MURDER
Jumpropeman: i mean, who hasn't pulled a movie out and immediately started smashing it to pieces because it was kinda bad
RubyChao: it's like i'm really in 2009!
Gooper Blooper: JRM's disaster reports would be much better if the last picture was a shot of the cart/disc being destroyed

---

Dr ivesy: oh nooooooo
Jumpropeman: It's a Blast!
Jumpropeman: ""Super Mario Bros." may be junk, but it's superior junk."
Gooper Blooper: "In short, it's a blast."
Gooper Blooper: He said the thing!
Dr ivesy: I really want to know how their original idea would have turned out
RubyChao: never forget

---

AlternateChao: i miss clickhole's old content
AlternateChao: just presented this stuff completely earnest
Gooper Blooper: (rude)
AlternateChao: link
Gooper Blooper: I like how getting Jurassic Park's year of release wrong is really the only actual mistake present 

---

Draco: Not Saturn like I thought but still #RUINED.
Jumpropeman: baby saturn trying to become the protagonist
Draco: She girlbossed her way into becoming the protagonist of Ravio's heart.

---

Dr ivesy: huh, more famous people than I thought who have birthdays on the 13th
Pokémon Kromer: S
Pokémon Kromer: Steve Buscemi??????
Pokémon Kromer: We share our birthday with Steve Buscemi...
Pokémon Kromer: Steve Britscemi more like
Jumpropeman: lucky
Kira’s Sandwich Fiasco: Wait
Kira’s Sandwich Fiasco: what
Kira’s Sandwich Fiasco: holy crap i did not know this
Dr ivesy: that was the one that stuck out to me :U

---

Pokémon Kromer: I have to get up to go to the fucking office
Pokémon Kromer: Cos my twat coworker wants us to meet up for drinks
Pokémon Kromer: Bro I HAVE drinks I got rum right here
Pokémon Kromer: Dont make me leave this flat and brave the cold and go to the damn office
Draco: Uff da. D:
Pokémon Kromer: Yeah
Pokémon Kromer: It sucks
Pokémon Kromer: Oh well
Pokémon Kromer: At least I get to start my Pokemon scarlet journey on the bus???
Draco: That's something at least.
Draco: If you for whatever reason don't pick Fuecoco, I'll get an egg for you later.
Pokémon Kromer: I picked the fire croc
Kuro: everybody gets croc, i'm here still set on weed cat
Pokémon Kromer: Ha
Pokémon Kromer: That's all I've done so far
Dr ivesy: I also still want weed cat
Sey: Weed cat is amazing can confirm
Sey: Mine is named Blake
Jumpropeman: I think I'm going to be team weedcat too
Jumpropeman: Fuecoco is cute and I like it's final evo more than the others... but uh...
Jumpropeman tries to remember why I am not picking it
Kira’s Sandwich Fiasco: I have not picked mine yet
Kira’s Sandwich Fiasco: but i was considering either the cat or the duck
52 Kromer: As a representative of splatfest team water
52 Kromer: Despite being part of the chatzy majority picking the croc
52 Kromer: I have to say the duck
Kira’s Sandwich Fiasco: Neat
52 Kromer: Splatfest is legally binding you see

---

AlternateChao: new incorrect quote
Jumpropeman: Chris the sass master, although considering she's a dracogal, that's no surprise
Dr ivesy: but who's the ass master-
Jumpropeman: that field is way too competitive

(later)

Gooper Blooper: I translated the angry Italian in Chao's new meme
Gooper Blooper: non sai di merda neanche se ne mangi un secchio, diocane
"You don't know about shit even if you eat a bucket, Diocane"
Gooper Blooper: sick burn, lanterby

---

Cornwind Evil: So I had a dream where the Kobbers were facing 'their ultimate foe'
Cornwind Evil: But all I remember is the name this enemy had
Cornwind Evil: It turns out the greatest threat the Kobbers ever faced in another universe was...Broadside Jack.
AlternateChao: well we know who to bring in during Season 20

---

Jumpropeman: meant to press a to talk to an important character, press b by mistake and shoulder ram them and they instantly disintegrate
AlternateChao: i hope you didn't need them jrm
Gooper Blooper: Even now, the evil seed of what you've done germinates within you

---