-KUWAHAWI ISLAND FITE CLUB-
The end of January was too early. Beheeyem didn't need that much time to set up. Not even he was really sure how his Fite Clubs worked - he simply rented rooms, and the odd people who came to him would do what they wished to furnish said rooms. Sometimes they barely altered them from their default "plain room with a wrestling ring" appearance, but other people seemed somehow able to make little pocket dimensions, like the wintry forest Letty Whiterock, his second-in-command, had made for her own battles. He didn't understand it, but he felt it wasn't important (though, if pressed, he's always assumed something like Big Bobby's portals were at work... but how they were able to follow him around without his knowledge even when he got a new facility baffled him).
In any case, the strangeness of his "tenants" meant that three months of preparation was about two months too many... but Beheeyem had been quite happy to change location, and was eager to see Kuwahawi for himself, quietly, peacefully, before things got chaotic in May when the Kobbers inevitably began rooting out corruption, evil, and darkness. For now, Beheeyem was just another tourist, and Fite Club was able to be set up at a quiet, leisurely pace.
What Beheeyem hadn't anticipated was that maybe he'd been around the Kobbers a little too long. Maybe their stink of attracting trouble had finally worn off on him after four years of greeting them, helping train them, and even fighting with or alongside them several times. Perhaps his joining in that time last October when Big Bobby got in trouble with a portal breach was the tipping point.
After all, how else could he explain the clearly non-native armored fellow currently swaggering into the Fite Club like he owned the place?
"...Uh, can I help you?" Beheeyem ventured.
"Good day, peasant!" the stranger bellowed entirely too loudly for how close he was to Beheeyem's face. "Just taking a look around my new facility!"
"Oh, well, there's not much to see yet, we're actually not open right now, but you can come back in-
Wait, your facility?"
"Why, yes!" The regal knight held up a very fancy-looking sheet of paper. "As you can see here, dear peasant- Wait." He lowered the paper, and his head tilted in a manner resembling concern. "Can you read?"
Beheeyem looked indignant. "Of course I can read!"
"Oh! Well, you know, not all of the rabble can read. Just making sure!" He promptly raised up the paper again. "As you can see here, dear literate peasant, I own this building!"
"WHAT? Let me see that!"
Beheeyem snatched the paper out of the startled knight's hand and read it carefully. "...But... There must be some mistake! This is my business! I've been running it for four years!"
"It's all there in black and white." the knight said, casually gazing at his reflection in the head of his staff. "The facility is mine. I own this 'Fite Club' now. Well, we do."
"...We?"
"Oh, haha, not you 'we', but my associates and I 'we'."
"Actually, I thought it was going to be the royal we."
"Ah, my associates said they'd beat me up if I kept doing that, so I stopped."
"And just who are these 'associates'?"
"I'm glad you asked!"
And in streamed seven more knights.
"I, King Knight, do decree that the Fite Club belongs to The Order Of No Quarter! You've got until the Kobbers arrive to move out, my literate peasant acquaintance!"
"This is an outrage! You can't do this! I'll... I'll sic the Kobbers on you!"
"Aha, but don't you see? That's exactly what we desire."
"...Huh?"
"Why else would we want to own Fite Club?" piped up the smallest knight, Tinker Knight.
"Facing the Kobbers sounds like the thrill of a lifetime!" Propeller Knight laughed, his headgear spinning.
"They're adventurous!" said Mole Knight, the round red one.
"They fear precious little, not even death." Specter Knight said in a quiet, dead voice as he clutched his scythe.
"Hee... and they're so VIOLENT!" Plague Knight cackled. "They even kill each other for fun!!"
"And best of all, they're totally loaded." Treasure Knight chuckled, smacking his anchor into his open palm. "Also, I gotta say I love all this water."
"Hmph."
Everyone looked at the huge Polar Knight as his mumble caught their attention. He wiped his brow and looked around, seemingly uncomfortable. "Where's the AC?"
"Um..." Beheeyem raised one hand gingerly. "It's not installed yet, but my assistant Letty Whiterock can-"
"Oh, yes, that Letty girl. She stays." King Knight interrupted. "Polar Knight insisted."
"Heh heh, he wouldn't come without some cold insurance." Plague Knight snickered.
"...So let me get this straight." Beheeyem said finally, once he was sure every member of the Order had said their piece for now. "You guys are claiming ownership of Fite Club specifically in order to fite the Kobbers."
"Yes!"
"Yep."
"You got it!"
"...Why didn't you just apply for jobs here?"
"WHAT?" King Knight looked taken aback. "The Order Of No Quarter will not be some peasant's lackeys! We take orders from nobody!"
"We took orders from The Enchantress." Tinker Knight helpfully corrected.
"Besides her!" King Knight snapped back. "Hmph! You, peasant, know little of how this world works. If I, KING KNIGHT, desire something, why, it is mine! And what I desire is to play with your little club of fiting!"
Beheeyem let it all soak in, and sighed.
"...Fine. Suit yourselves. Have a blast. Just don't say I didn't warn you."
With that, Beheeyem went off into the rooms in search of Letty Whiterock, one of only two other Fite Club staff members already on the island, to tell her the news. The Order began investigating the lobby, chatting amongst themselves, aside from Polar Knight who continued to stoically sweat and Plague Knight snickering to himself.
"Heh heh, 'have a blast', hee..."
-----
The Enchantress wasn't a peasant, so it's okay to take orders from her.
ReplyDelete