ivel: it would have been madness not to include him
Pulsar Ven: . . . Madness?
THIS
*IS*
-trips and falls into pit before finishing-
---
Jumpropeman: any trust I once held for Cornwind has been utterly destroyed
ConstellationChao: is it because he stole your corn
ConstellationChao: your popped corn
Jumpropeman: I looked up the SNES Lion King game when he said it was better, and it turns out: the SNES and Genesis game are exactly the same
ConstellationChao: GASP
ConstellationChao: how could he
Harpy: i was about to ask "wait is that serious"
Harpy: and then
Gooper Blooper: I knew that already
Harpy: YES THIS IS VERY SERIOUS
Harpy: :U
Jumpropeman: why didn't you tell me Gooper ; o ;
Gooper Blooper: I assumed he was going into full 16-bit console war mode and was comparing minor technical aspects like the music
Pulsar Ven: Oh, the atrocity. Oh, the inhumanity. Oh, the unadulterated wickedness.
Gooper Blooper: "THIS GAME RUNS BETTER ON THE COLECOVISION THAN THE ATARI 2600"
---
Gooper Blooper: I noticed when I looked up Bravely Second on Amazon a minute ago they were offering 20 percent off all new releases
Gooper Blooper: which is pretty crazy if true
Jumpropeman: mhm, that's part of the prime savings
Jumpropeman: that i mentioned
Gooper Blooper: well damn son that's eight bucks off a brand new copy of BS
Gooper Blooper: what can I do with the 18 dollars I'll have left over, hmm...
Gooper Blooper: (I have 50 dollars in amazon gift cards from christmas)
Jumpropeman: I've considered preordering Bravely Second myself too
Harpy: nice
Gooper Blooper: I wasn't going to, I was going to buy on release day, but then I saw the little notification that promises Prime members who preorder will get it on release day
Gooper Blooper: Amazon isn't fucking around here
ConstellationChao: oh
ConstellationChao: oh my
Gooper Blooper: "20 PERCENT OFF STRAIGHT TO YOUR DOOR ON RELEASE DAY. PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT, GAMESTOP"
---
Draco quits job to play Bravely Second.
Draco: "Boss, I don't have time to 5S. I need to BS."
Pulsar Ven: Draco no! You'll never afford Bravely Third that way!
Draco: "WAIT, LET ME REPHRASE THAT."
---
Draco: Most important blind RP character: Cian without his glasses.
Jumpropeman: ... I forgot Cian wore glasses :V
Harpy: that was a more recent development
Jumpropeman: Himouto Umaru-chan ended so I lost my reminder :V
Draco: Listen, Parsee will break the knees of anyone who doesn't agree that Cian is the best blind guy.
Harpy: after his last revival, he kind of had terrible eyes due to the way sins/virtues revive
Draco rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 9
Draco: She manages to break her own knees. BV
Harpy: his sight isn't bad enough to be legally blind
Harpy: without his glasses
Module Sheep joined the chat
Jumpropeman: hi sheep!
ConstellationChao: sheeeeeeeep
Module Sheep: DID SOMEONE SAY BREAK KNEES?!
---
ConstellationChao: WRESTLING
Module Sheep: Do I dare click?
Harpy: plz no
ConstellationChao: yes.
Module Sheep: Do I even have a choice?
Module Sheep: "It's gluteous free!"
Module Sheep: It
Module Sheep: is the end for me
Module Sheep: Go on
Module Sheep: save yourselves
ivel: is that Saiyan armor
---
Gooper Blooper: I don't like pushing my posts at you since I know you have endless reading to do but I appreciate that you read them
Module Sheep: I do try and keep up
Module Sheep: I think the only one I'm behind on is Ven, and only because i assume he published seven posts in the time it took me to write this sentence
Module Sheep shakes fist at Ven's productivity
Module Sheep and CW's typing speed, for good measure
---
Jumpropeman: my first day of school when I moved back to San Antonio a kid next to me asked me to help get their pen to work by blowing into it. Instead, I sucked it up and my mouth was full of ink, so for a while that's how most people knew me, the kid who drank ink
MeteorChao: and now
MeteorChao: that is how i will know you!
---
Gooper Blooper: Goopsmom doesn't celebrate Mother's Day because several years ago we began calling it Mothra's Day instead and she likes to watch Mothra movies that day
Jumpropeman: that's amazing
Bree: that... is the best tradition
Bree: ever
---
Jumpropeman: my pizza got here, and the main reason I ordered the pizza was because we're low on Dr. Pepper and nobody wanted to go shopping so I ordered a two liter with it
Jumpropeman: guy shows up, the thing he is missing is the two liter
Harpy: damn u pizza guy
Bree: did he go back to get your two liter? because that's what ours have done when that happened
Jumpropeman: guy did run off to a gas station and get it, and I almost tipped him twice for doing it
Bree: a gas station? lel
Gooper Blooper: MY DIET DR. KELP? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS PIZZA WITHOUT MY DRINK
Draco begins backing up in fear. D:
---
Harpy: i imagine all my friends to be handsome men
MeteorChao: well, harpy
MeteorChao: you imagine right
MeteorChao flexes
---
M Sheep: >There was a game called Corpse Party.
ivel: a series
M Sheep: what an opening to a post!
UniverseChao: you're at agonyplot! yaaay
M Sheep: Yaaaay
Draco: Woo!
M Sheep muppetflailing
M Sheep but with more canrnage
M Sheep and carnage
Draco: Can rage is when you don't have a can opener.
---
M Sheep: >Patchy just likes to flop over and rest sometimes.
M Sheep: Words to live by
ivel: a lifestyle to live by
---
Jumpropeman: I finally clicked on the leave room button by accident
UniverseChao: rip
Jumpropeman: i can see why it happened to goops and chao so often since its right below My Messages
UniverseChao: good thing they added that messages thing, huh
UniverseChao: yep :V
---
Jumpropeman: I found a game called Stop Slapping Tenshi today. You just kinda slap her over and over and at the end she looks all happy because masochism
ivel: welp
CometChao: *googles*
CometChao: wow, it's true
(A few moments pass...)
CometChao: so wait
CometChao: how do you know
CometChao: did you
CometChao: slap tenshi
Jumpropeman: repeatedly
Jumpropeman: like 200 some times
Jumpropeman: its very repetitive
Gooper Blooper joined the chat
M Sheep: Goops walks in on the best conversations
CometChao: jrm why
Jumpropeman: i had to know
Jumpropeman: FOR SCIENCE
M Sheep: Jrm, please, this is a family chatzy!
Sad Sack of Sorrows Sung: I take it ghost hands don't break as badly on her skin as human ones do.
Jumpropeman: and COMEUPPANCE
M Sheep: Whelp
M Sheep: you've ruined that word for me then
M Sheep: cheers
CometChao: which one
CometChao: comeuppance?
M Sheep: yes
CometChao: good
---
Gooper Blooper: one week until bravely second
CometChao: o n e w e e k
Gooper Blooper: l i t t l e m o n e y
Jumpropeman: its been
Jumpropeman: One week since you looked at me
Bree: cocked your head to the side and said "I'm angry"
Bree: sorry I love that song lel
Sad Sack of Sorrows Sung: It will still be two days until you say "I'm sorry".
Jumpropeman: me too :V the Digimon Movie had the most 90s soundtrack of all time
---
Jumpropeman: new game on the Nintendo eShop: Epic Dumpster Bear
Jumpropeman: HMMMM
M Sheep: What is that sound when the bear lands on the wolf?
Draco: Splinch
Jumpropeman: that's the sound Jaws makes when getting a back rub
Jumpropeman: Oooo~
---
Draco rolled a die with 21 sides. The die showed: 21
Draco: Parsee MEGA PUNCHes herself in the face.
CometChao: >parsee rolls a 21, still loses
CometChao: what does it take, draco
CometChao: what does it take
Draco: She needs to roll a 22. :V
CometChao: Paru paru.
Draco: In this case, she actually won because she was trying to punch herself.
---
CometChao: "Take another look at the previous eleven images. Now imagine you work for the Pokémon Company. Is there any part of you that thinks, Boy, this Junji Ito fella should draw official artwork for our all-ages video games series?"
M Sheep: What are you reading, chao?
CometChao: it was a list of terrifying ito panels
CometChao: and someone decided yes
Jumpropeman: he did a great job though, so they were right :V
Gooper Blooper: That's not the first time Pokemon made an artist choice some might think was questionable
Gooper Blooper: Way back in the days of Pokemania, I got this neat set of translated manga as a gift
Gooper Blooper: "Pikachu Shocks Back", to be precise, fun little miniseries of four comics
Gooper Blooper: Found out years later the artist was known for drawing Manga Carta Back Room-tier lewdness before Nintendo earmarked him for their family-friendly series
CometChao: amazing
Draco: Is that why every woman in the manga is ridiculously busty?
Gooper Blooper: It would probably explain why they had to redo Misty's clothes for the western release
---
Jumpropeman: I think I had a dream recently where the top news story on facebook was that Esoteric became so well known a word that it was no longer, by definition, esoteric
Gooper Blooper: Sumireko dreams that, wakes up in a cold sweat
---
CometChao: 4:25 PM - The Red Superchao: basically, most of this dream had to do with me working together with Pech
4:25 PM - The Red Superchao: yes, that Pech
4:25 PM - The Red Superchao: it was a very grudging work together, as we were in some kind of superpower museum
4:25 PM - Steel Komodo: oh lawd
4:26 PM - Steel Komodo: Pech finally got a decent job :U
4:26 PM - The Red Superchao: well see we weren't working there
4:26 PM - The Red Superchao: just sort of checking things out
4:26 PM - The Red Superchao: however then there was some kind of assault from a dark world
4:27 PM - Steel Komodo: oh no D:
4:27 PM - The Red Superchao: so as i got ready to go there to try and stop it (we didn't know if you could get BACK from the dark world)
4:27 PM - The Red Superchao: pech knocked me out and teleported there instead
4:27 PM - The Red Superchao: i woke up before i learned what happened to him
CometChao: it felt surprisingly in-character
Brinehammer: I could see it, lol. Every alliance with Pech was grudging.
CometChao: my favorite chatzy reaction was "pech being a jerk and a hero as usual"
CometChao: the funny thing is, i dredged this up from chatzy circa 2014
CometChao: when my contact with you had been limited to setting up brawl champ match
Drachaoropeman: Pech once teamed up with his future self. He still hated it.
---
Drachaoropeman: What do you call an athlete with no money?
DrunkPhoneDel: I do not know
Drachaoropeman: A POOR SPORT. :D
DrunkPhoneDel: Get out
---
Jumpropeman joined the chat
CometChao: hi jrm
CometChao: tell them the good news
Gooper Blooper: They're making a Bad Rats 2?
Jumpropeman: they've been making that for a while
Jumpropeman: but
Gooper Blooper: Darn, I thought I remembered that just as I sent the message
Jumpropeman: the German guy on ebay selling Raven's Cry slashed his price by 10 euros
Jumpropeman: I'm still trying to haggle him down a few bucks
ivel: welp
Jumpropeman: but if need be, I will pay his asking price
Jumpropeman: and I can BE BRAVE, MOTHERFUCKERS
ivel: I forgot about that guy
Gooper Blooper: If his copy isn't the early version with BE BRAVE it ain't worth a dime
Jumpropeman: I would not be surprised if the patch is easily excised, considering how poorly coded it is
Not Draco: Wait what
Not Draco: JRM NO
Not Draco: DEFAULT! DEFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAULT!
Gooper Blooper: Look, this is what JRM does
Gooper Blooper: he buys literal garbage
Gooper Blooper: I'm used to it by now :V
Jumpropeman: *spends three turns getting wailed on after Braving too much*
---
Harpy: today it fucking snowed
Gooper Blooper: It has snowed here three days in a row
Gooper Blooper: it's Letty's Last Stand
Harpy: i almost wanted to make a mock anger video and ask "WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ALL THIS WHITE BULLSHIT ON MY LAWN LIKE WHAT THE FUCK FUCK OFF LOTTY"
---
ivel: link
Jumpropeman: a picture of Del's dreams
---
Gooper Blooper: battlebots safety tip: DO NOT DO THIS YOU LUNATICS
Jumpropeman: the easiest way to win Robowar India is to attach wireclippers to your machine
Gooper Blooper: I could hardly believe it the first time I saw a "robowar" video and saw that they use cabled controllers
Gooper Blooper: They have (mostly) advanced beyond that now at least but man they started from square freaking one over there
---
Jumpropeman: is Kikuri made of caramel or something
CometChao: she is a giant disc with a woman on it
CometChao: touhou 1 was weird
---
Draco: Pathfinder News: Sadly, there was a death in the Draco PFS Roster today. After failing at three chances to successfully use diplomacy to talk down the adventure's boss (low single-digit rolls), my character was filled with arrows until ded. Would've been a failed mission, but one Monk was able to disarm the boss of both of her weapons while the other Monk (who was also shot dead, but revived by the team's healer) managed to grab the item we were after, prompting a strategic withdrawal.
M Sheep: Oh no! It wasn't DeMonde, was it?!
Draco: No.
Draco: It was originally going to be credited to Twilight Tengu, my Vigilante, but Twilight Tengu doesn't have the resources for resurrection, so the GM - who felt bad about killing my character - let me apply it instead to my Druid that I haven't played in over a year and didn't mind killing off.
M Sheep: the Druid is dead!
M Sheep: Long live the Druid!
CometChao: rip druid
M Sheep: It's how they would have wanted to go
Draco: I did enjoy the scenario though; the previous combats were fun and we had a lot of laughs when we realized that NONE OF US had any kind of magical knowledge that would've made things easier on us. We joked about not even being able to get out of a tower and one of the Monks bought a balloon replica of the tower that looked suspiciously like a penis. At the end, I was able to rest easy knowing the balloon survived the battles.
Draco: GM: Does anyone have Knowledge *Insert Knowledge Here*? Me: Is it a Local thing? No? Then no.
Draco: Me: Is it a NOBLE tree? No? Then no.
Draco: Monk 1: Is Mayonnaise a Temporal Essence?
Draco: Any time that monk asked if mayonnaise was a relevant thing got a laugh.
ivel: welp
Draco: One thing proven to me though was the power of having a Fairy Dragon familiar. Our first encounter we burned through most of our heals because an invisible Fairy Dragon with a Scorching Ray wand caused at least three occurrences of knocks out, and it only left once we'd managed to knock out every other enemy on the field. And we only found out what it was because the GM told us after announcing we were out of rounds.
Draco: But I had a good time today, and not just because PFS DeMonde founded the Absalom Meowfia.
ivel: nice
M Sheep: But tell us about the Meowfia
Draco: That worked out by happy coincidence too: we'd just fought three giant rats, so we had giant rat corpses when we went to the orphanage that was crawling with orphans and cats. So I casually started tossing pieces of rat to the cats and they started following me.
ivel: welp
Draco: So the GM said I had about a dozen cats following me around when we spoke to an NPC and I just kept tossing them bits of rat. With the NPC's cats now MY cats, I told her to quit drinking malt whiskey with every meal or her ceremonial urn with her ancestor's ashes would get pushed off a shelf.
ivel: amazing
Draco: Old woman, you can't run an orphanage in MY town if you're going to be sauced at all times. BI
Draco: So once she gets 5 PP, she's getting a caravan vanity so she can have the Meowfia following her everywhere.
(later)
Draco: Side note: I need to somehow get a picture of Sumireko with an army of cats wearing black suits and sunglasses.
Theon Greyjoy: edit as necessary
M Sheep: Well, that was quick
Draco: GESP
Draco: I might just have to use that picture with no edits.
Theon Greyjoy: if I were home I could edit it easily
Draco: You'd also give Sumireko a nose.
Theon Greyjoy: your point? :I
Theon Greyjoy: just for that, I'm giving her two noses!
Draco: OH NOSE
Theon Greyjoy: and five ears!
Theon Greyjoy: AND TWENTY FOREHEADS
Brinehammer: And one hand?
Theon Greyjoy: let's not go crazy here Brine
Draco: AND...a partridge in a pear tree. BV
(later)
Jumpropeman: I made the picture I promised Draco last night
Jumpropeman: Sumireko with two noses, five ears, and twenty foreheads
Gooper Blooper:
Jumpropeman: also one with just the kitties changed
---
Theon Greyjoy: thanks to some sharp eyes on my part, the residents of Madison Estates will not be ordering Poopy Seed Salad off their lunch menu today
M Sheep: You're a hero, Jrm
Draco: Gasp
Draco: POOPY SEED SALAD?
Theon Greyjoy: I know, right? I made sure to fix what it said
Theon Greyjoy: weird how someone misspelled Dirt in a Cup so badly
Draco: Poopy Weed Salad?
Draco: Oh.
Theon Greyjoy: Draco, we aren't a five star restaraunt!
Theon Greyjoy: Poopy Weed Salad, might as well ask for diamonds on a plate
M Sheep: Jrm, can I have diamonds onna plate?
Theon Greyjoy: sure thing buddy =D
Theon Greyjoy: *puts Dr. Dia Monde on a plate and serves*
M Sheep: Too rich for my palate
Draco: >:I
Draco: I only got one diamond. This place sucks Poopy Seeds.
Theon Greyjoy: we assure you only our finest chefs spit in our food!
Draco: Your chefs wouldn't know fine if the FDA slapped them with a $300 one! >: U
M Sheep: If someone hasn't put out a cigarette butt in it, why even put it in my mouth
Draco: Seriously.
---
M Sheep: Unless anybody needs anything, i should sleep
Draco: Bye Sheep.
M Sheep: Seeya on the flip flop
Theon Greyjoy: *waits patiently atop the flip flop for Sheep's return*
Theon Greyjoy: *eyes trained on the sea, always hoping to see his sheepship over the horizon*
Theon Greyjoy: this is my widow's walk
---
Theon Greyjoy: "Komodo Dragons actually do have venom-producing glands and are "remarkably clean" animals, debunking the 30 year assumption that they used harmful bacteria from rotting flesh."
Theon Greyjoy: somebody tell SK!
Theon Greyjoy: we can finally take him out of quarantine :D
---
EclipseChao: "jojos bizarre adventure: *gets kicked in the dick* you fool. you utter imbecile. didnt you realize getting kicked in the dick by you was my plan from the start? its over."
EclipseChao: i can confirm that this is basically the whole series
SteelKomodo: yep
---
Jumpropeman joined the chat
Jumpropeman: frieeeeeeeends
Fiddlesticks on sleep: Romans!
Countrymen!
Fiddlesticks on sleep cuts off ears and lends them to JRM
Gooper Blooper: JRM is enthusiastic
Gooper Blooper: maybe he bought raven's cry
Jumpropeman: well you can't buy Raven's Cry through Amazon anymore
Jumpropeman: ebay is the only outlet
Jumpropeman: AND I FINALLY GOT IT
Gooper Blooper: for whatever reason, that popup feels ominous
Gooper Blooper: "You are about to install Raven's Cry."
Jumpropeman: I finally got the German guy to sell it to me
Jumpropeman: he wanted 32.99 in euros, I payed 30
Jumpropeman: I refused to pay his asking price no matter what after our months long battle
Gooper Blooper: I'm kind of surprised he even put up with you that long :V
Fiddlesticks on sleep: You haggler, you.
Jumpropeman: it's not like there was anyone else to sell it to :V
Gooper Blooper: He must have finally understood you were the only person left in the entire world who actually wanted to pay a substantial amount of money to own it
Gooper Blooper: but not TOO substantial, German Guy, so lower that price
Gooper Blooper: and so he did
EclipseChao: yep, jrm can now BE BRAVE, MOTHERFUCKERS
Harpy: kek
Gooper Blooper: well, not yet
Gooper Blooper: first he has to manage to install it successfully and boot it without it crashing
Fiddlesticks on sleep: That isss sometimes the great barrier, innit?
---
---
EclipseChao: that just ain't right
Gooper Blooper: poor kisume
Draco: It's actually two Kisumes standing on each other's shoulders.
Gooper Blooper: she's lost the bottom of her bucket and gained three feet worth of leg
Draco: Just like Yuugi.
Fiddlesticks on sleep: Ordinary I'd welcome three feet worth of leg, but that bucket was special.
Gooper Blooper:
EclipseChao: goops you have gone mad with legs
EclipseChao: you must stop
Draco: Is that canon, Chatzy?
Draco asked Chatzy to choose between Yes, No, Cereal and Zook. Chatzy chose: Yes
Draco shrugs!
---
M Sheep gibbers into that good night
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