SteelKomodo: ...i have had a theory
SteelKomodo: this never bodes well, but here we are
SteelKomodo: you know the theory that every Link in the Legend of Zelda games is the reincarnation of the same hero?
RedSpy: mhm
SteelKomodo: This is incorrect. Every Link is the reincarnation of a pimp
RedSpy: . . . pfffffft what
RedSpy: Explain this sounds amazin
SteelKomodo: Well, consider the amount of girls he comes into contact with
SteelKomodo: a good portion of whom have shown an interest in him
SteelKomodo: Granted, one is a fish girl, one is a tree and the other is his best friend's mom (long story)
SteelKomodo: but is there any sign of him rejecting these advances?
SteelKomodo: Hell, Fi notes that he seems quite receptive to Peatrice, and despite her warning him not to tell Zelda he goes along with it
SteelKomodo: He's not trying to save Hyrule from Ganon or Vaati or whatever. His main objective, first and formost, is the hoes
SteelKomodo: I rest my case
RedSpy: Brilliance
RedSpy: He even borrows Boozer's ho train
SteelKomodo: wait, hang on, gotta elaborate a bit - Skyward Sword was the first Link, right?
RedSpy: Yush
SteelKomodo: And that link got involved with Peatrice and a lot of stuff got implied with Pipit's mom (again, long story)
SteelKomodo: so basically that Link was a pimp, and every Link since then is his reincarnation trying to top himself in the ho department
SteelKomodo: hell, the subtext of every conversation he had with a female in OoT seemed to be, as Yahtzee put it, "Fuck me"
RedSpy: Pffft
SteelKomodo: The legends call him a hero because he beats the bad guy. But what they fail to mention was that this only happened because the bad guy got in the way of his pimpin'
SteelKomodo: once again, I rest my case
RedSpy: Well, he DOES have a big phallic sword
RedSpy: That he uses to solve all his problems
Erebus: Link was just a level 20 or so Bard. Especially in Oot.
SteelKomodo: XD
SteelKomodo: also yeah, the Master Sword isn't called that without reason
SteelKomodo: wink wink nudge nudge
SteelKomodo: of course, there were setbacks - the whole thing on Koholint Island was the dream of a giant whale, and thus makes things complicated
SteelKomodo: and imagine the squabbling the Links in Four Swords had
RedSpy: Dirkfest 2011
SteelKomodo: petty much XD
Cornwind Evil: *is not amused by the slander of the greatest video game hero ever*
TheDeleter: Incredible
RedSpy: Paul Phoenix hasn't been slandered
SteelKomodo: http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/Deal_With_It.jpg
Cornwind Evil: *puts Redspy in a box*
SteelKomodo: also thanks del :3
RedSpy: You cannot hold me in a box
RedSpy: You cannot stop me with a fox
RedSpy: GREEN EGGS AND EGGS
Cornwind Evil: Ah, but you see
Cornwind Evil: It was all just an elaborate scheme
Cornwind Evil: To get you sued by the estate of Theodore Giesel
RedSpy: Fuck D:
---
SteelKomodo: ...additional theory - the Four Swords Links were representations of Link's approaches to hoes
SteelKomodo: Green is the nice guy, Purple is old-fashioned candles and roses, Red is the horndog and Blue is a macho man
Gooper Blooper: Don't forget Mario
Gooper Blooper: Literally every single important female character hits on Mario in TTYD
SteelKomodo: XD
Gooper Blooper: Except Kammy Koopa I think
---
RedSpy: Gentlemen, it is time to give the Spy moves
RedSpy: Fortunately I have a strategy: take every move with the word "French" in it
SteelKomodo: be careful there, spy
SteelKomodo: with that kind of attitude, he might end up being a jobber D:
RedSpy: Then everything with the word "backstabber" in i- pft
RedSpy: France is the jobber among countries, really
---
RedSpy: Hale KOs Reptile, Mega Man gets the win
RedSpy: THQuality
TheDeleter: Amazing
TheDeleter: Megaman is a killstealing beeyatch
RedSpy: I rewatched the footage and everything. It says he KO'd Saxton Hale, but Hale was last seen standing up and celebrating
RedSpy: He probably just feigned a KO for the poor guy's self esteem
TheDeleter: Hahaha
---
RedSpy: Also, Spy with the Taker's entrance + French Patriot placeholder music = hilarity
RedSpy: Because short loops and long entrances lead to us hearing France's national anthem more than we've ever wanted to
RedSpy: By the end we were just going "WE GET IT! HE'S FRENCH!"
RedSpy: (Then he won and we were treated to more)
---
RedSpy: The King has a disturbing tendency to end up being upskirted in front of the camera, too
SteelKomodo: oh god, we don't need to see that D:
RedSpy: His legs are so fucking hairy
SteelKomodo: DDDDDD:
SteelKomodo: that's gonna haunt my nightmares now
RedSpy: Good
RedSpy: Let it seep into you
SteelKomodo: King Harkinian and his hairy legs
RedSpy: Terrify you
SteelKomodo: "Mah boi, this peace is-" "FUCKING HELL PUT SOME CLOTHES ON"
---
Gooper Blooper: infuriariel_and_sadsephine.jpg
SteelKomodo: XD
---
Saberwulf: Time for TABLETOP POSTS
Saberwulf: because that's all I ever do
---
TheDeleter: i posted in league m
TheDeleter: and im gonna post in CoL in a bit too
Gooper Blooper: RP League: Other M
Gooper Blooper: you're not authorized to rp as that character
Saberwulf: woooo hahaha nice one goops
TheDeleter: damn it goops there is no baby here
SteelKomodo: XD
TheDeleter: i know max has childlike proportions but come on
---
Saberwulf: I am quite peeved this Arabic bellydancing music cuts off a few seconds before the video ends
Saberwulf: I'm missing like three seconds of them saying "beledi"
---
Gooper Blooper: It's 4/20
TheDeleter: aw yeeeeeeeeeeeeee
SteelKomodo: snapture approved
---
Gooper Blooper: I have entered a contest
SteelKomodo: ooh, do tell
Gooper Blooper: My Toys R Us receipt had an invitation on it to enter a sweepstakes
TheDeleter: nice
TheDeleter: what can you win
Gooper Blooper: First you do an online survey telling them how your store experience was
Gooper Blooper: Once you do that, then you fill out the contest form
Gooper Blooper: Once a month, they do a random drawing, and five people win 500 bucks
SteelKomodo: seems legit
Gooper Blooper: I'm assuming it's in the form of Toys R Us giftcards but hey
TheDeleter: Not complete random crap at all
Gooper Blooper: watch, I'll get a micropet
TheDeleter: XD
SteelKomodo: D:
SteelKomodo: oh dear god I hope not
SteelKomodo: then you'd know my shame
SteelKomodo: shaaaaaaaaame
Gooper Blooper: Xenoblade Komodo - You Will Know Our Shames
---
Jumpropeman: My beard has reached the point that it covers the neckbeard unless I look completely skyward
Jumpropeman: I have evolved beyond the need to shave
---
M Sheep: Does anyone else just have a word document full of crazy phrases from their head?
SteelKomodo: no
TheDeleter: nope
M Sheep: .....
M Sheep: >_>
M Sheep: <_<
M Sheep: .....
SteelKomodo: sorry, sheep :<
M Sheep: Just got all these weird little pieces of things in here. It's sort of like a junk drawer
M Sheep: Except instead of dried out pens, there's "The flies came in droves", "Koenraadkoenraad", "400 rabbits", "carrilon", and "Death is a pale horse"
M Sheep: So vague, I don't even remember what half of these are about
---
SteelKomodo: ...god damn it
SteelKomodo: ever since I made that Darkwing Dirk joke, that's all I hear every time I watch an episode that starts with the intro
SteelKomodo: #RuinedForever
RedSpy: And all you can see are the gyrations
SteelKomodo: that makes it worse
SteelKomodo: and what makes it even worse is that in this episode, Darkwing makes this joke:
SteelKomodo: "A hero must do the undo-able, risk the unriskable, and think the unthinkable!" *Beat, then waggles eyebrows at camera"
SteelKomodo: god damn everything
---
Saberwulf: brb
RedSpy: brb too
TheDeleter: don't leave me here
TheDeleter: noooooo
Saberwulf: I RETURN
RedSpy: SO DO I
TheDeleter: oh good
Saberwulf: KERPLOW
TheDeleter: that's weird
TheDeleter: you both vanished and returned at the same time
TheDeleter: are you the same person
RedSpy: Sorry, was getting food
Saberwulf: Actually I was getting food too
Saberwulf: what the fuck
TheDeleter: i knew it
TheDeleter: you're both the same person
TheDeleter: this confirms everything
Saberwulf: Hahahaha
---
TheDeleter: i have lots of new work to do!
TheDeleter: i have made a big spreadhseet
TheDeleter: *spreadhseet
TheDeleter: *spreadsheet
TheDeleter: i cannot type
TheDeleter: imma riter me fingers r movin
---
Gooper Blooper: *Josephine chasing the Wheel-A-Meal* SARAH! STOP THIS CRAZY THING!
TheDeleter: Blame the Jetsons, Josephine
TheDeleter: Blamesephine
Gooper Blooper: jetsephine
Gooper Blooper: crackedsephine
Gooper Blooper: dirksephine
Gooper Blooper: it goes with everything
SteelKomodo: pffft dirksephine
SteelKomodo: it'll- PFFFFFFT
SteelKomodo: funnily enough, I thought of the dirksephine thing myself once
SteelKomodo: never mentioned it because I'm slow
Gooper Blooper: it flows well
TheDeleter: you've both jinxed it now
TheDeleter: it's bound to happen
TheDeleter: you've NAMED it
SteelKomodo: naaaaah, it'll never happen
SteelKomodo: ...right?
Gooper Blooper: We'll avoid it
TheDeleter: you are nepeta, it's you
Gooper Blooper: just like you did when you said Eshe/Del was too weird
Gooper Blooper: you dodged a bullet, you did
TheDeleter: yeah, but that just
SteelKomodo: :P
TheDeleter: me and bus said we'd avoid it
TheDeleter: and then it happened anyway because i don't know
TheDeleter: and then me and bus were like "welp"
Gooper Blooper: You don't have total control of your chars
Gooper Blooper: things happen when they get off the leash
SteelKomodo: see also: Nicky-Poo
Gooper Blooper: stel-stel
TheDeleter: god daaaamn
Gooper Blooper: And now an orator from Final Fantasy Tactics is the queen of outworld, with a half-dozen puppies and a tarkatan army
Gooper Blooper: I love RP
---
TheDeleter: zoofights is dead
Saberwulf: it's been dead as a doornail for a while now, what do you mean?
SteelKomodo: the forum is gone
SteelKomodo: kaput
SteelKomodo: 404'd
TheDeleter: the website and the forum is down
SteelKomodo: ;_;
Saberwulf: Oh shit, really? Damn
TheDeleter: at least goops saved the forum
SteelKomodo: mmhm
Saberwulf: Sad to see it go. But yeah, thankfully Goops snatched it up in time
RedSpy joined the chat
RedSpy: NOooooooooo!
SteelKomodo: ey spy
SteelKomodo: yep, it happened :<
Saberwulf: Heya Spy
Saberwulf: The forums have moved on to the big Geocity in the sky
RedSpy: ;A;
RedSpy: Cremate the remains in the great big AngelFire. Its what they would've wanted
Saberwulf: DannyBoy.wav
SteelKomodo: *insert lots of mourning and tears*
---
RedSpy: Sonic Adventure is like an old Geocities site. There's lots of things wrong with it, it's hilariously outdated, it tries to do too much, and breaks a lot of rules that exist now but didn't then. But there's genuine enthusiasm behind it that I can't help but enjoy.
RedSpy: So true ;-;
---
Saberwulf: Ajax soap? The slogan is "stronger than grease". Ajax was a Greek soldier who was renown for his strength.
Saberwulf: He was stronger than ALL OF GREECE
Saberwulf: Ahhhhhhh who comes up with theseeeeee
Gooper Blooper: brilliant
TheDeleter: son of a BITCH
---
RedSpy: Huh, Gorps is usually here by now
SteelKomodo: indeed
SteelKomodo: guess he forgot about THE NIGHT
RedSpy: We must cast Summon Goops IX
SteelKomodo: we must
TheDeleter: i shall help cast Summon Goops
RedSpy shares energy for the Spirit Bomb
TheDeleter: Goops look, white mage artwork!
TheDeleter: that usually is the perfect bait
SteelKomodo: um
SteelKomodo: RAMZA IS ALEX BECAUSE D'AAAAW
RedSpy: THE BRITBROS HAVE SPROUTED IDIOT HAIRS
SteelKomodo: ...odd, you'd think that would work as well
RedSpy: ARRIVE IMMEDIATELY, MORTAL
SteelKomodo: oh no we have not D:<
TheDeleter: i dispute that assertation
Gooper Blooper joined the chat
SteelKomodo: IT WORKED =D
TheDeleter: yaaaaaay
RedSpy: Haha, yes!
Gooper Blooper: I never
Gooper Blooper: EVER
Gooper Blooper: forget The Night
RedSpy: Good!
SteelKomodo: good :P
---
TheDeleter: goddamn wario
TheDeleter: wario stop
TheDeleter: that's a human being
TheDeleter: wario pls
SteelKomodo: DDDDDD:
TheDeleter: wario no
No comments:
Post a Comment