Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Chatzy Madness Volume 48: Floppy Woppy Dingle Dongler Hours

TheDeleter: man how are skeletons so great all the time
SteelKomodo: even the name is inherantly awesome
SteelKomodo: skeleton
Saberwulf: skellington
TheDeleter: skelly
Saberwulf: They're the raddest, baddest dudes to ever inhabit crypts and then explode when you hit them
TheDeleter: they're always smiling

---

SteelKomodo: have some more off-the-top-of-my-head extracts from the Dirktionary
SteelKomodo: Drugs: (noun) Great for stress relief. Just watch out for the cops. See Also: Fun
Saberwulf: haha
SteelKomodo: Ireland: (place) An awesome country, and if anyone tries to correct me they're getting shivved.
Saberwulf: Pff
SteelKomodo: and inevitably: Sex: (noun) See Also: Fun, Celestia
Saberwulf: hahahahaha
SteelKomodo: you saw this coming :P
Saberwulf: Yep
SteelKomodo: Dance: (verb) Not everyone can do it. Some should never try.

---

Saberwulf: Okay, time to stat up velociraptors on Dungeon World
SteelKomodo: XD
Saberwulf: You know the kitchen scene in Jurassic park? That but the raptors are wearing ponchos

---

Cornwind Evil: So
Cornwind Evil: I get up
Cornwind Evil: I hear my cat Lotus making a pained meow. I know what that means: a hairball.
Cornwind Evil: So she's near my shoes
Cornwind Evil: I move them
Cornwind Evil: She moves over, I swear, to try and cough the hairball on my shoes
Gooper Blooper: CATS
SteelKomodo: Your cat clearly hates your shoes

---

Draco: For the fantasy setting, my character will be Alfredo VonBorington, a failed street clown who carries deadly weapons painted in bright colors.
TheDeleter: Draco always has the wackiest characters
TheDeleter: What if we had a setting in a circus draco
TheDeleter: What then
Gooper Blooper: Then he brings in a knight
Draco: A circus?
Draco: I would be Wanda Smokes, a tax collector who speaks softly until she uses her spellsongs to collect your debts.
Draco: Unfortunately, she doesn't know how to count, so she's easily taken advantage of when it comes to payment.
Gooper Blooper: another talkamancer!
Gooper Blooper: If Draco isn't getting these character ideas from a random generator, he should totally make an RP Character Random Generator
Draco: That sounds like work. =I
Gooper Blooper: "You are Victor Higgens, a hog farmer who likes driving fancy cars and painting. Your weapon of choice is a pickaxe."
Draco: You are Count Earl Dukes, a minor noble who has been given the title of Minister of Crawling Into Small Spaces. You claim your weapon is a longstaff whose ends have been dipped in a poisonous solution, but really it's just a mop you dip in chlorine to clean those hard-to-reach places.
TheDeleter: Hahaha
Gooper Blooper: "You are Emily Schneider, a business executive who likes competing in weightlifting tournaments and stamp collecting. Your weapon of choice is a catapult full of poison-dart frogs."
Draco: Victor Higgens, though, frequently enters livestock contests at the State Fair and has never won. You've gotten so infamous that the announcers deliberately say "And the Victor is..." just to get your goat. They keep stealing your goats too.
Gooper Blooper: And then a long, deep, involved plot about Victor raising the greatest livestock those no-good goat-stealin city-slicker judges have ever seen takes up the entire summer
Gooper Blooper: Entire days are devoted to cleaning the sty
Draco: And it turns out Victor Higgens is Hercules.
Gooper Blooper: Legend tells of a god names Sneggih who lurks among us as one of our own
Gooper Blooper: He reveals himself at the darkest hour to lead humanity into the light
Draco: He receives the blessed Charlotte's Web for his prized pig in time to enter that year's contest, but the sponsors won't let him enter unless he beats Emily Schneider at arm-wrestling. Turns out she stole the stamp from his entry letter for her collection, so it didn't get mailed.
Gooper Blooper: it all comes together
Draco: Full circle!
TheDeleter: Its all connected
TheDeleter: And the best part is, it was less convoluted and insane than Heroes
Gooper Blooper: But exactly convoluted and insane enough to be ZFRP
TheDeleter: Oh goddamn
Draco: Did I mention the pig has buzzsaw tusks and the poison dart frogs are actually manning a catapult that transforms into a giant frog?

---

Draco: Korn-on-the-Kobber
Gooper Blooper: Calling All Kobbers
Gooper Blooper: Kobbing A Feel
Gooper Blooper: Mortal Kobbat okay I'm done
SteelKomodo: Pfffft
SteelKomodo: Kobbing a Feel: What Dirk does
Gooper Blooper: Or attempts to do
Gooper Blooper: "I'd kobber her if ya know what I mean"

---

M Sheep: I am gripped with ze madness and throwing....something..t​ogether.
TheDeleter: Hell yeah
M Sheep: You say that...but....ye Gods...It's Purnima all over again.
TheDeleter: Oh shit is it lovecraft purmina
TheDeleter: We cannot be having that
Gooper Blooper: this isn't even purnima's final form
Draco: Bwa ha ha
Gooper Blooper: all grubs metamorphose eventually
TheDeleter: Noooooooooooooooooo
TheDeleter: Ooooooo
TheDeleter: O
SteelKomodo: DDDDDDDDDD:
Gooper Blooper: 1: Purnima goes into her cocoon
Gooper Blooper: 2: Two months of buildup
Gooper Blooper: 3: M Sheep stops posting
Gooper Blooper: 4: PROFIT
TheDeleter: Final boss - one wing purmina
Gooper Blooper: two wings is inefficent
Draco: One wing per Purnima
TheDeleter: One purmina is enough thanks =-O

---

TheDeleter: At least we didn't get jonesy vs erebus
TheDeleter: I would have noped my way out of that
Gooper Blooper: it almost happened
Saberwulf: COUPLE'S COUNSELING CAGE MATCHHHHH
Gooper Blooper: Erebus wins, has to sleep on the couch
M Sheep: Dr. Light as ref
SteelKomodo: Welp

---

TheDeleter: Speaking of ZFRP have we had the obligatory steampunk AU yet
TheDeleter: *psssssh*
Gooper Blooper: hmmm
M Sheep: Great, now picturing David with a big mustache and as a cattle baron
Saberwulf: Haha
M Sheep: THAT'S NOT STEAMPUNK, BRAIN
Cornwind Evil: Blackbird joins with the doctor again, wears a gas mask and carries around a smoke machine to fit in
Saberwulf: David shall be Dr. Prof. Sir David Arcturus Wulf PhD. Esq. famous entrepreneur and all around Danger Man
Saberwulf: Featuring his manservant Sir Chesterfield, and the exotic Ulrika
Gooper Blooper: Found a pretty steampunky version of the creature from cryptozoology that I'm using for the mysterious, still-not-unveiled-to-yo​u Kauket
TheDeleter: Steampunk Jonesy and Del are downtrodden railway workers in the South planning union strikes and risking being shot and blown up by coal companies
TheDeleter: Steampunk Santos likes knives too much
Cornwind Evil: Steampunk Sine has read too many books and fancies herself a great explorer
Cornwind Evil: She also tinkers with too many things
SteelKomodo: Steampunk Pit has mechanical wings instead of a jetpack, and wears a cockney flatcap
Cornwind Evil: And her home is filled with junk
SteelKomodo: Steampunk Dirk, meanwhile, rides a coal-powered motorbike for the lulz
Saberwulf: Pff
Gooper Blooper: So basically Sine is unchanged
TheDeleter: Don't say that goops
TheDeleter: She doesn't travel the universe
TheDeleter: That's a change
TheDeleter: Also because this is steampunk jonesy and del stole some steam power armor from somewhere too
Saberwulf: Steampunk David is not Literally David But Just Wearing A Mustache To Fit In. He doesn't have any of them thar fancy UTGs and infinity drives and all that
TheDeleter: Sadly image searching for steampunk starcraft just gets me porn of the assistant robot from starcraft 2, so i can't really show you
Saberwulf: Still a goat demon with a bunch of weird shit in his house, though
Saberwulf: Comes with the territory
SteelKomodo: Steampunk Dirk's pickup lines are also considerably worse.
SteelKomodo: So many piston puns.
Saberwulf: Haha
Saberwulf: Also Ulrika's probably made of steel and clockwork so is even crazier
Saberwulf: "OI LOVE LET ME BRAID YOUR HAIR" *grinding cogs dangerously close to Sarah's hair*

---

Gooper Blooper: Look at what this asshole on ebay is doing
Gooper Blooper: pawning off a normal insect toy as a "Kamacuras" figure from Godzilla
Saberwulf: hahaha
SteelKomodo: D:<
Gooper Blooper: I've seen their listings for years
Gooper Blooper: They've also put up dollar store rubber spiders claiming it's Kumonga
Saberwulf: Oh man, I just googled kamacuras toy and that's not even close
Gooper Blooper: And normal plastic octopus toys as THE Giant Octopus from Godzilla vs King Kong
SteelKomodo: THE SWINE
Saberwulf: Poundland Kumonga

---

Saberwulf: Oh god I can't think of a name for Hub GURPS
Saberwulf: I've already used "City of Light" in, if I remember correctly, four different occasions
Saberwulf: What do
SteelKomodo: Oh noes
Gooper Blooper: When in doubt
Gooper Blooper: Pull out Google Translate
Saberwulf: Hahahaha
TheDeleter: Sound advice goops
Saberwulf: No, Goops, that's for dialogue and naming everything /but/ the title
Gooper Blooper: All of a sudden, the boring "City of Light" becomes "Civitatem Lux"
Saberwulf: AGRIS FESTUM, OMNUS, CYCLUS SCATAREN
Gooper Blooper: Now doesn't that sound exciting
TheDeleter: Whoooo
Saberwulf: Hmm, I could go with that older name, City of Doors. But then it sounds like I'm running a Sigil game
Gooper Blooper: City of Doors is just the Scooby-Doo hall scene forever

---

Draco joined the chat
Draco: >​u>​
Draco: <u<
Draco: *leaves fake dog poop on the floor before running away*
Draco left the chat
M Sheep joined the chat
M Sheep: Gosh darnit, Draco
M Sheep: I just washed these shoes

---

TheDeleter: I hope they don't do a Robin sequel/trilogy though
TheDeleter: But if they do Harley Quinn ought to be a villain
TheDeleter: Just cause
Gooper Blooper: Don't worry, Hollywood NEVER does sequels
Gooper Blooper: Never ever
SteelKomodo: ...what D:
TheDeleter: What the cock
Gooper Blooper: Announced on April 2, just so everyone knew they were dead serious
Gooper Blooper: Coming 2015 so you have plenty of time to prepare (why announce a movie this far in advance, christ)
SteelKomodo: I thought it was an April Fools joke until you said that
SteelKomodo: or it could be a real late one
Gooper Blooper: DORY FORGOT WHAT DAY APRIL FOOLS IS
SteelKomodo: XD
TheDeleter: Lel

---

TheDeleter: pendas
SteelKomodo: peinous
TheDeleter: peindish
SteelKomodo: piness
TheDeleter: piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiiiiii​iiiiiiiingaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas​sssssss
SteelKomodo: D:
SteelKomodo dies in a fiery inferno

---

Gooper Blooper: "chickens"
Saberwulf: hahaha
SteelKomodo: Those aren't chickens D:
TheDeleter: that's racist D=<

---

Gooper Blooper: holy shit
Gooper Blooper: remember when Sheep gave Dr. Bulgrave Schrodinger's Butter
TheDeleter: Yeeees?
Gooper Blooper: It's an actual thing
TheDeleter: What the cock
Gooper Blooper: "You'd THINK It's Butter!"
TheDeleter: Schrödinger's butter goddamn
Gooper Blooper: man, why aren't any of these amazing fake butters in my area

---

Gooper Blooper: So I decided to look at my blog's stats page
SteelKomodo: Oh?
Gooper Blooper: There's a section that tells you what keywords people used in search engines to find your blog
Gooper Blooper: Mine lists five keyword combinations
Gooper Blooper: The first one is "clevermantis.blogspot.c​om", the site's address. Nothing weird about that
SteelKomodo: Mmhm
Gooper Blooper: Next we have "my top 10 video games of all time". Someone must have found 100 Games that way
SteelKomodo: Yaaaay
N Goat waiting in trepidation
Gooper Blooper: The third one is "dunkleosteus"
SteelKomodo: that's kinda badass
Gooper Blooper: I blogged about it once, briefly
Gooper Blooper: And someone thought my site would be THE ONE
Gooper Blooper: Next, two seperate people found the site by searching for "heart cliches and widowmaker"
Gooper Blooper: she's not that kind of widow maker guys
SteelKomodo: ...ok, that one confuses me
SteelKomodo: is that a reference to something?
SteelKomodo: halp D:
Gooper Blooper: Well, a widowmaker is a heart condition
N Goat: Sarahlex?
Gooper Blooper: As for "cliches", I thought maybe that was a use of the word I didn't know, but it appears not
Gooper Blooper: So someone was looking for, like, sayings or phrases related to widowmakers
SteelKomodo: Ah
Gooper Blooper: And they thought my site had what they were looking for
Gooper Blooper: The fifth and final search was "pumpkin tower"
Gooper Blooper: That got them my post from October 2011 about my favorite Halloween decorations
SteelKomodo: Pffffffft
Gooper Blooper: Blogger also keeps track of what websites link to my blog
Gooper Blooper: Google, of course. Google Canada, sure. Zoofights Forums, yeah. Chatzy, okay
Gooper Blooper: The blog itself, I guess that works
Gooper Blooper: Then it lists "Filmhill.com"
Saberwulf: Hahaha
Gooper Blooper: Which is a very suspicious looking "free movie" site
SteelKomodo: Whaaaaaaaaaa
Gooper Blooper: Following the link to see exactly where I get linked...
N Goat: This oughta be good
SteelKomodo waits tensely
Gooper Blooper: It's an ad for weight loss medication
Gooper Blooper: And my site is not linked anywhere
Gooper Blooper: JOSEPHINE
N Goat insert Statler and Waldorf here
SteelKomodo: Sadsephine :<
Gooper Blooper: Okay, what else... We got "Yandex". That's a Russian search engine
SteelKomodo: HEAVY LIKES THIS LEETLE BLOG
Saberwulf: The ruskies link to my blog as well
Gooper Blooper: The last one is a clump of random numbers that I suspect might be a leftover from Mr. Bones' Wild Website Copier trying to archive the entire Internet
SteelKomodo: i gotta try that with my blog
SteelKomodo: But not right now, it's 8 past midnight
Gooper Blooper: wait a second, what's this one
Gooper Blooper: "surveys.questionpro.com​"
SteelKomodo: Ooh
Gooper Blooper: "Select what political party best describes you."
Gooper Blooper: Question 2: "Do you feel its wrong to have an abortion?"
Gooper Blooper: After answering both questions it asks if I want to make a QuestionPro account
SteelKomodo: whaaaaaaaaa
Gooper Blooper: where exactly does my blog come into play here
Gooper Blooper: questionpro pls
SteelKomodo: God, that makes me wonder what kind of horrific things would link to my blog
Gooper Blooper: You'll find out if you so desire
Gooper Blooper: ...I have twelve pageviews from Poland
Gooper Blooper: I forgot Poland
SteelKomodo: XD
Gooper Blooper: I have more pageviews from the UK than I do from the US
Gooper Blooper: This week, at least
Gooper Blooper: Britbros takeover
SteelKomodo: Pffffffft
Gooper Blooper: 28 views from Germany
Gooper Blooper: SPY IS THAT YOU CAN YOU HEAR ME

---

TheDeleter: kakuna ratatta
TheDeleter: it means no worries

---

Gooper Blooper: hahaha yessss the Twitch chat has a guy in it named "Weedlord Bonerhitler"
SteelKomodo: XD
Draco: That sounds like an M_Sheep original.
Gooper Blooper: For those unaware of the saga of Weedlord Bonerhitler
Draco: Except I guess M_Sheep would give him a title and a single tentacle that you don't know where it begins.
Draco: "Detective Rex Hardbody"
TheDeleter: Weeeeeeedlooooooord
TheDeleter: Bonerhitleeeeeeeeeeerrrr​rrr
Draco: What nobody knows is is that it really WAS Jigglypuff who signed.
M Sheep: Trolls are useful?!
M Sheep: Who knew?????!!!
TheDeleter: Naming my firstborn son weedlord bonerhitler
Draco: Dang. My troll only guards my bridge against goats.
Gooper Blooper: he'll love you so much, del
SteelKomodo: XD
TheDeleter: You know it

---

Gooper Blooper: hnnnnnng
SteelKomodo: hnnnnnnnng

---

Cornwind Evil joined the chat
Draco: Greetings, Unicronwind.
Cornwind Evil: *suddenly hungry and eats the Earth*
Cornwind Evil changed name to Unicronwind
Unicronwind: THERE WAS A TIME...I CONSIDERED SPARING...YOUR WRETCHED LITTLE CHAT PROGRAM....
Unicronwind: BUT NOW YOU SHALL WITNESS...ITS DISMEMBERMENT
Draco: Nooooooooooooooo!
Gooper Blooper: To dismember a Chatzy you must become a paid member
Draco: *shoots Cornwind in the chin*
Gooper Blooper: only 50 cents a day
SteelKomodo: D:
Unicronwind: *ignores it because, you know, size of a planet*
Unicronwind: *And...eats Draco?*
Unicronwind: *Is that what happened with Galvatron?*
Draco: *Yes, it is*
Draco: *is still wearing the plot device around his neck like bling*
Unicronwind: *Draco finds Sarah inside Unicronwind*
Unicronwind: *Because he always has to beat up the White Mage*
Unicronwind: *But Sarah steals the plot device and turns into the White Wizard from the original Final Fantasy*
Unicronwind: *Because, as you recall, dude was built like Marcus Fenix*
Unicronwind: *And throws Draco out through a wall and into the depths of space*
SteelKomodo: Buff Sarah D:
Draco: Nooooooooooooooo.
Draco: *lands on a volcano planet and goes insane*
Unicronwind: *Then Sarah destroys Unicronwind by pulling on a magic grip*

---

Gooper Blooper: bladeworksmaster: my mom went out to a wedding just like Bazza
Mod thetoh: Your mom's marrying Bazza. Sorry to break it to you
thedarkwayneknight: He's busy at a wedding, or as they call them in England, a shaggledy waggledy flip floppy trollamaloo

SteelKomodo: we have some weird traditions over here :P
SteelKomodo: like maypole dancing
SteelKomodo: *disclaimer: we don't call weddings that*
TheDeleter: Sk lies we totes call weddings that
TheDeleter: And it's not maypole dancing its floppy woppy dingle dongler hours
Gooper Blooper: http://bitsandpieces.us/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/imagesenglish-American-vs-British.jpg
TheDeleter: Get it right, god

---

Gooper Blooper: So apparently there's some cocky upstart spinoff of VGCW called "Wrestlemania" or something
Gooper Blooper: It'll never catch on

---

RedSpy: . . . What the fuck Saxton Hale broke the ring in the first 4 seconds and won
SteelKomodo: ah
RedSpy: Maybe I shouldn't have set finishers to 3 at the start
Gooper Blooper: well that's certainly in character
SteelKomodo: ...whaaaaat XD
TheDeleter: hahahaha
SteelKomodo: SAXTON HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA​AAAAAAAALE
TheDeleter: that's accurate to tf2 canon
Gooper Blooper: Yeah, don't give them finishers, the ring break is an auto-win
TheDeleter: YOU NO LONGER EXIST
RedSpy: I'm gonna save this as "accurate to TF2 canon"
RedSpy: But yeah, I wasn't sure of the finishers meant "in total" or "at the start"
RedSpy: Also, not using the NXT arena. Whoever comments isn't as funny as Cole

---

RedSpy: One of Hale's signs is just a snake
RedSpy: Not even any words. Just a snake staring into the camera
SteelKomodo: Snake-ston Hale
Gooper Blooper: I think I know what the snake sign represents
Gooper Blooper: In terms of WWE
TheDeleter: what doth it mean
Gooper Blooper: There's one guy whose finisher is putting a snake sock puppet on his hand and then making it "strike" his opponent's throat
RedSpy: pfffft puppet finisher what
TheDeleter: what the fack
RedSpy: That's more ridiculous than that one guy who hypnotized people
RedSpy: "Aaaa!"
RedSpy: !!!!
SteelKomodo: AAA

---

Harpy: one day you guys should play a game of cards against humanity
SteelKomodo: we know, it rules :3
Harpy: they added more cards recently
TheDeleter: oh shit i thought of the perfect white card
TheDeleter: SKELETONS
SteelKomodo: SKELETONS
TheDeleter: Spice up your sex life by bringing SKELETONS into the bedroom
Harpy: Actually, "An army of skeletons" is a card
TheDeleter: What did the Americans airdrop to the children of Afghanistan? SKELETONS!
TheDeleter: holy shit it's true
TheDeleter: that's beautiful harpy

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