Kauket's Mission

"So, uh... Kauket, is it? Yes, Kauket. Welcome. What can we do for you?"

"I'm applying for a travel grant."

"Ah! What's the story?"

"Well, I'm very interested in making a trip, but I'm no longer eligible for student assistance since I've gone twice already. I was told there's a new program that assists older and more frequent travelers."

"That's right. We recently worked out a solution that cuts fuel costs in half. We look through the applications and pair an experienced traveler with a newcomer. You will provide transportation and guidance for a young one who's never traveled to another planet."

"That sounds acceptable."

"Remember, of course, that it's not all fun and games. You can of course engage in recreational activities, but you'll be expected to provide a report about the planet and its people to help build up our knowledge of the universe."

"Absolutely, sir. Where do I sign?"

"Here, let me get the papers ready..."

-----

"Kauket, this is Baltan. He'll be your travel partner."

"Hello there."

"Hi, Crockit!"

"...It's Kauket."

"Hey, hey... hey. Hey.

Heyyy."

"What? What is it?!"

"Does your ship have a vending machine? I get hungry on long trips."

"Um, no."

"Okay, then you gotta excuse me for a sec while I stock up! Be right back! HOHOHOHOHO"

"...

Can I-"

"No, you cannot switch partners for being annoying. Please file any serious complaints to our email address. And be patient with Baltan, he's only 47."

"Does he have to do a report, too?"

"Yes, but it's separate from yours."

"Thank freaking god."

-----

"WE'RE WHALERS ON THE MOON, WE CARRY A HARPOON-"

"BALTAN SO HELP ME I WILL TURN THIS SHIP AROUND-"

Chatzy Madness Volume 49: Celestia the Yodeling Veternarian

Gooper Blooper: I mark for Dirk
SteelKomodo: XD

---

M Sheep: Oh, it appears the Unfortunate Mr. Splotch as been accepted into a game
M Sheep: Now all I have to do is post regularly, and not choke!
M Sheep: .....
M Sheep: AHAHAHAHAHAHAH

---

TheDeleter: In order to explain what happened next I'll have to use the sentence I've been waiting my entire life to type: One of the Rock and Roll Space Bandits switched to keytar mode and rocked the mind of a construction worker into hitting the giant lobster with a crane.

Cutting Room Floor 8: Rejected Characters Depot

Everyone who's roleplayed knows it doesn't always go according to plan. You have to adapt to other people's developments, or you may have a bright idea moments before needing to use it, or a minor character winds up taking over your RP.

I've had many a brainstorm concerning new entries to the ZFRPverse, but a lot did not pan out. Here's a rundown of some of the characters that have been cast aside.

Irresistable Golden Sponge Cake

Chatzy Madness Volume 48: Floppy Woppy Dingle Dongler Hours

TheDeleter: man how are skeletons so great all the time
SteelKomodo: even the name is inherantly awesome
SteelKomodo: skeleton
Saberwulf: skellington
TheDeleter: skelly
Saberwulf: They're the raddest, baddest dudes to ever inhabit crypts and then explode when you hit them
TheDeleter: they're always smiling

---

SteelKomodo: have some more off-the-top-of-my-head extracts from the Dirktionary
SteelKomodo: Drugs: (noun) Great for stress relief. Just watch out for the cops. See Also: Fun
Saberwulf: haha
SteelKomodo: Ireland: (place) An awesome country, and if anyone tries to correct me they're getting shivved.
Saberwulf: Pff
SteelKomodo: and inevitably: Sex: (noun) See Also: Fun, Celestia
Saberwulf: hahahahaha
SteelKomodo: you saw this coming :P
Saberwulf: Yep
SteelKomodo: Dance: (verb) Not everyone can do it. Some should never try.

---

Saberwulf: Okay, time to stat up velociraptors on Dungeon World
SteelKomodo: XD
Saberwulf: You know the kitchen scene in Jurassic park? That but the raptors are wearing ponchos

Chatzy Madness Volume 47: Wacky Wavy Inflatable Arm-Flailing David

RedSpy: So guys
RedSpy: Scott Pilgrim vs. all of Taylor Swift's exes
RedSpy: Who would win?
SteelKomodo: XD
SteelKomodo: hmmmm
SteelKomodo: depends
SteelKomodo: can you name one or two for me - I don't keep up with celeb gossip, you see :P
RedSpy: I can't think of specifics, but I do know A) there's a ton and B) they all bear the burden of public shame via songs being written about them
RedSpy: Less superpowers, more zerg rushes
SteelKomodo: well then Scott has this in the bag
SteelKomodo: none of them know Hadoukens and I doubt any of them could even throw a decent punch
RedSpy: Good point. Unless they swarm him all at once, he's got this

---

Saberwulf: holy shit My Chemical Romance broke up and Tumblr is falling the fuck apart
Saberwulf: If the borders of my feed just ignited I really wouldn't be surprised
Saberwulf: Seriously like that's the internet right now

---

Saberwulf: I'm surprised I didn't expect this
TheDeleter: the triden special right there
Gooper Blooper: Sarah will take ten
Gooper Blooper: Man, that's like the burger I read about
Gooper Blooper: They replaced the bun with glazed donuts
SteelKomodo: Oh boy
SteelKomodo: ...what
TheDeleter: holy fuck that sounds gross
Gooper Blooper: Look, it's noteworthy enough to have a wikipedia entry
Gooper Blooper: 1500 calories each
M Sheep: Please
Gooper Blooper: let the grease flow through you
M Sheep: Please tell me that pizza cookie monstosity is not real
M Sheep: Please
SteelKomodo: I'm sorry, sheep
SteelKomodo: it is
M Sheep: ;A;
M Sheep: If that wasn't enough, there's this peanut butter burger you can get in New Orleans
SteelKomodo: So um, this is all I can contribute right now
M Sheep: It's big as a dinner plate
Gooper Blooper: Okay, looked up the pizza cookie thing
M Sheep: I have been told eating it feels like a heart attack
Gooper Blooper: The cookies are not actually on the pizza to start with
M Sheep: Oh, thank God
Gooper Blooper: You get a normal frozen pizza plus a little pack of cookie dough
Gooper Blooper: That guy just combined them since they arrived together and he figured why not
M Sheep staring at wall
Gooper Blooper: From a review: "One other thing I thought was amusing: the box says there’s five servings of pizza, but 12 servings of chocolate chip cookies. I don’t think this will be a problem, however; stoners aren’t exactly picky about suggested serving sizes."
Gooper Blooper: lol servings
SteelKomodo: Sheep.exe has encountered a problem and needs to close.

SaRahPG Development Blog 1 - Intro and Confirmed Guests

I've discussed it a few times in the Chatzy - now's the time to place some information in a more permanent place.

SaRahPG is the working title for an RPG Maker XP game. It is a fairly standard turn-based RPG heavily influenced by the original Final Fantasy, with some unique extra elements added to the field that are normally not seen in such a game. Work on it has been progressing off and on in fits and starts since December 2011, and there is no release date - I expect it will take at least another year before I'm done. At present I would estimate it is roughly one-fourth complete (remember that I did not and likely will not work on this nonstop). Note that game elements, screenshots and details shown and discussed here may be changed or omitted, as many things about this game are far from finalized.