Because the harlot was a loaf of bread.
(Image is not explicit. However, it may cause mental trauma.)
Monday, November 28, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Happy Thanksgiving
I have had the mental image of Alex doing the same "giddy glee" pose Sarah uses for a long time now, and I've finally capitalized. Anyway!
Thanksgiving, befitting its place on the calendar, has always been the awkward middle child of the three big holidays the end of the year brings. Halloween stands out by virtue of being so different. Christmas overshadows everything else. Thanksgiving kind of gets lost in the shuffle, but nonetheless I have some memories of it.
The number one Thanksgiving memory for me is the yearly agony of having to wait so long for Thanksgiving dinner. It took longer to prepare - far longer - than a normal dinner, and of course we couldn't ruin our appetites with snacks. The result was having to wait several hours longer than usual for a meal - but at least the uniqueness of it made it all worthwhile.
Closely following this is, of course, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I didn't know why Thanksgiving managed to stand alongside the Fourth of July as one of only two major holidays so closely associated with parades, but I didn't mind. When it came to watching the show, I cared about one thing and one thing only - the floats. Huge inflatable representations of my favorite cartoon characters, larger than life, right there on TV. The floats with costumed characters and crazy productions were cool, too. I was mesmerized, and whenever they cut away to one of the concert numbers or other non-float things, I got annoyed. The one float I always looked forward to the most was the Garfield float.
Truly a thing of beauty. I remember the year they retired this float. I watched the parade, desperately awaiting the arrival of one of my beloved childhood icons, and he never showed up. I was very upset. And also like seven years old, you gotta understand. Fortunately they replaced him with a new float, but I preferred the old one because the new one stood upright, and the bipedal characters were always tilted way forward. Old Garfield was right-way-up. He knew the score.
Aside from the parades and some foggy memories of visits to the houses of various uncles, I have few memories of Thanksgiving. However, I do associate the cartoon A Pup Named Scooby-Doo with Thanksgiving, and I'm pretty sure that's because Cartoon Network held a marathon of it one year on turkey day and I flipped back and forth between it and the parade. I associate Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends with the Fourth of July and The Twilight Zone with New Year's Day for the same reason.
Batten down the hatches - two days from now the Christmas juggernaut steps up its game. We got our first major snowfall of the year this morning, so I'm in the right frame of mind. Christmas music, here I come!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
That Goddamn Sheep
Have you been wondering what that crazy sheep has been up to since Zoofights ended? (Because you just KNOW he's going to resurrect again)
Wonder no more!
Also, on GameFAQs, turns out Ramza went down without much of a fight. Bad Alex! BAD Alex! No Black Legend!
Wonder no more!
Also, on GameFAQs, turns out Ramza went down without much of a fight. Bad Alex! BAD Alex! No Black Legend!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Rivalries Are Rumbling
A couple weeks ago GameFAQs latest tribute to Legend of Zelda popularity contest started up and... it's been very, very by the book. The hardcore guys on there who closely follow every contest are annoyed because there hasn't been a single upset or close match yet even though there have been over two dozen matches. I filled out a prediction form and I've only gotten one match wrong so far (thought DK would lose in Round 1 - underestimated the power of a decent rivalry).
Coming up tomorrow at noon New York Time is the third-to-last match of the first round, between Siegfried/Nightmare (Soul Calibur) and Ramza/Delita (Final Fantasy Tactics). Now I mentioned this before when I previously blogged about this contest, but it bears repeating because goddamn.
This character.
This character.
I could buy and play Final Fantasy Tactics, beat the shit out of it, rack up 500 hours of playtime, it wouldn't matter. I can never, ever associate this character with anything but You-Know-Who the You-Know-What, and if the storyline of the game sets him up with a love interest I'd just be like "no that's incorrect sir" and pair him with a generic You-Know-Who named You-Know-What. And I would pretend the sprite is several pixels shorter or something, I dunno. And the healing items are sweets instead of potions.
This warped mentality also applies to Air Man. I'd be expecting him to apologize profusely every time he successfully hit Mega Man. They are TAINTED BY RP FOREVERMORE.
Coming up tomorrow at noon New York Time is the third-to-last match of the first round, between Siegfried/Nightmare (Soul Calibur) and Ramza/Delita (Final Fantasy Tactics). Now I mentioned this before when I previously blogged about this contest, but it bears repeating because goddamn.
This character.
This character.
I could buy and play Final Fantasy Tactics, beat the shit out of it, rack up 500 hours of playtime, it wouldn't matter. I can never, ever associate this character with anything but You-Know-Who the You-Know-What, and if the storyline of the game sets him up with a love interest I'd just be like "no that's incorrect sir" and pair him with a generic You-Know-Who named You-Know-What. And I would pretend the sprite is several pixels shorter or something, I dunno. And the healing items are sweets instead of potions.
This warped mentality also applies to Air Man. I'd be expecting him to apologize profusely every time he successfully hit Mega Man. They are TAINTED BY RP FOREVERMORE.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Cutting Room Floor 3
Zoofights is over, and there's unused pictures to share!
RedSpy asked for these two for Meat Boy's return to the bar - a silly disguise reveal. Instead, Meat Boy came in on Little Horn and Bandage Girl never made a personal appearance.
These miniature pictures were meant to be part of an end-of-year group shot. However, I wound up never making any other characters. Also, Widow Maker is way too small compared to Sarah.
Now, this picture did get used, but I don't think anybody caught that the dress is actually a reference to something. Anybody know what Sarah's fancy dress is modeled after? Hint: it wasn't eighties-related D:
COVER YOUR SOULS, IT'S KING TIMEZONIUS
This one went unused for a couple of reasons. Not only did Timezonius never appear outside of parenthetical asides, but he doesn't look threatening enough here. I'd wanted to make him taller.
He's got a weapon for every occasion. NYT on Steel Komodo! Work on Erebus! Calculus on Alex! HE'S A MADMAN
This one went unused for a couple of reasons. Not only did Timezonius never appear outside of parenthetical asides, but he doesn't look threatening enough here. I'd wanted to make him taller.
He's got a weapon for every occasion. NYT on Steel Komodo! Work on Erebus! Calculus on Alex! HE'S A MADMAN
Zoofights 6 - The End
The tournament is over! And not a moment too soon!
Seriously, all you dufes on the RP forum were great, Zoofights is great, and the final was amazing and full of twists and turns, but I have been suffering from some nasty Ending Fatigue. Compare my voting posts from Round 1 to my votes from the last few rounds - I'm freaking exhausted. And the RP was fun but it's such a time sink. I'm looking forward to focusing on video games and the like - I got Kirby's Epic Yarn for my birthday a month ago and I still haven't even touched it!
Also, I am so sick of people not understanding why the RP Forum got so big. Do you realize that, since September, we've been getting two fights a month? In May, there were five fights. Since the alternative was abandoning the forum, I don't see why keeping our little clusterfuck in the bottom was such a problem. Hopefully we can just elect Jumpropeman as a mod and be done with it.
Concerning my character roster, now is the time to trim the field. I have a few ideas already:
-Widow Maker will return. She's built for Zoofights both literally and figuratively. Fun Fact: Even when not specified, most of my comments in the voting and battling threads can be easily read as Widow Maker. She's basically my argumentative side personified, which is exactly what you want in a "talking head".
-Sarah goes with Alex. Simple as that. Her return is dependent on his.
-Celestia, being closely linked with Sarah, probably will only return if Sarah does.
-And Skeiron is linked to Celestia. Oy. Might just have these two be relegated to cameo appearances.
-Done with Hella Jeff (unless there's some potential for a cameo)
-Done with Biollante (same as Jeff)
-I'll likely bring in at least one new character depending on the theme of the next tournament. What I'd like to do is just have this character and maybe Widow Maker for a while, and perhaps bring in Sarah later.
I actually don't use social media sites like some of the rest of you, but I'll still be checking Blogger every so often for updates from you all.
Most likely, today my more important characters will all be saying their final goodbyes and splitting up. Peace out, dufes.
Seriously, all you dufes on the RP forum were great, Zoofights is great, and the final was amazing and full of twists and turns, but I have been suffering from some nasty Ending Fatigue. Compare my voting posts from Round 1 to my votes from the last few rounds - I'm freaking exhausted. And the RP was fun but it's such a time sink. I'm looking forward to focusing on video games and the like - I got Kirby's Epic Yarn for my birthday a month ago and I still haven't even touched it!
Also, I am so sick of people not understanding why the RP Forum got so big. Do you realize that, since September, we've been getting two fights a month? In May, there were five fights. Since the alternative was abandoning the forum, I don't see why keeping our little clusterfuck in the bottom was such a problem. Hopefully we can just elect Jumpropeman as a mod and be done with it.
Concerning my character roster, now is the time to trim the field. I have a few ideas already:
-Widow Maker will return. She's built for Zoofights both literally and figuratively. Fun Fact: Even when not specified, most of my comments in the voting and battling threads can be easily read as Widow Maker. She's basically my argumentative side personified, which is exactly what you want in a "talking head".
-Sarah goes with Alex. Simple as that. Her return is dependent on his.
-Celestia, being closely linked with Sarah, probably will only return if Sarah does.
-And Skeiron is linked to Celestia. Oy. Might just have these two be relegated to cameo appearances.
-Done with Hella Jeff (unless there's some potential for a cameo)
-Done with Biollante (same as Jeff)
-I'll likely bring in at least one new character depending on the theme of the next tournament. What I'd like to do is just have this character and maybe Widow Maker for a while, and perhaps bring in Sarah later.
I actually don't use social media sites like some of the rest of you, but I'll still be checking Blogger every so often for updates from you all.
Most likely, today my more important characters will all be saying their final goodbyes and splitting up. Peace out, dufes.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Christmas Creep
"When I was a kid, Halloween was Halloween, and Santa wasn't poking his ASS into it! Thanksgiving used to be Thanksgiving, and it was its own holiday, not 'Christmas: Part One'. When I was a kid, you ate, and you drank, and you passed out, and nobody woke you up and said 'let's go shopping.'"
-Lewis Black
It's an ongoing phenomenon, and it gets worse every year - Christmas muscling in on the calendar before it's time. I know it's the biggest holiday of the year, the final celebration of the previous twelve months, a day for family and friends and snow and presents and traditions and love. That's all wonderful. But it's too damn early for that. I love Christmas, I really do, but I don't start to warm up to it until either the day after Thanksgiving or the first of December. Or a murky area between those two days. Notice how this blog doesn't have a winter theme yet.
There are a lot of things that make me get into the Christmas spirit. Shopping and holiday music are two of those things. But no matter how early the stores try to force those, what they can't do is make December and the first permanent snowfall come faster - and without those, it's not truly the holiday season for me. I especially don't appreciate the shoving aside of Halloween in the final weeks leading up to it. Nobody wants Frosty in October. I for one am still much more interested in spiders, skeletons, and jack-o-lanterns at that time.
One of the most hilarious examples of Christmas Creep I know of is something I ran into just recently. It seems that not only are Christmas cards being sold, but so too are belated Christmas cards. I found the concept of seeing a card for sale in November that read "Can't believe Christmas is over..." on the front to be the funniest thing I'd seen all day. Maybe eventually we'll just have a year-round push to buy for Christmas.
In any case, I don't need a snow-and-elf motif to tell me when to start my holiday shopping - I keep an eye out all year for interesting items to give at Christmas, especially if they're on sale. Both this year and last year, I'm going to include an item I bought at an early summer yard sale as one of my presents. I suggest the same to anyone else - as long as it's not some huge thing you can't hide for long, buy your Christmas gifts ahead of time if you can. That item may not still be available come November!
-Lewis Black
It's an ongoing phenomenon, and it gets worse every year - Christmas muscling in on the calendar before it's time. I know it's the biggest holiday of the year, the final celebration of the previous twelve months, a day for family and friends and snow and presents and traditions and love. That's all wonderful. But it's too damn early for that. I love Christmas, I really do, but I don't start to warm up to it until either the day after Thanksgiving or the first of December. Or a murky area between those two days. Notice how this blog doesn't have a winter theme yet.
There are a lot of things that make me get into the Christmas spirit. Shopping and holiday music are two of those things. But no matter how early the stores try to force those, what they can't do is make December and the first permanent snowfall come faster - and without those, it's not truly the holiday season for me. I especially don't appreciate the shoving aside of Halloween in the final weeks leading up to it. Nobody wants Frosty in October. I for one am still much more interested in spiders, skeletons, and jack-o-lanterns at that time.
One of the most hilarious examples of Christmas Creep I know of is something I ran into just recently. It seems that not only are Christmas cards being sold, but so too are belated Christmas cards. I found the concept of seeing a card for sale in November that read "Can't believe Christmas is over..." on the front to be the funniest thing I'd seen all day. Maybe eventually we'll just have a year-round push to buy for Christmas.
In any case, I don't need a snow-and-elf motif to tell me when to start my holiday shopping - I keep an eye out all year for interesting items to give at Christmas, especially if they're on sale. Both this year and last year, I'm going to include an item I bought at an early summer yard sale as one of my presents. I suggest the same to anyone else - as long as it's not some huge thing you can't hide for long, buy your Christmas gifts ahead of time if you can. That item may not still be available come November!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Ten Things For A Dime: Top 20 Misses
As I mentioned in my post concerning buying ten things for ten cents, I had to lose a lot of auctions before I managed that victory. Here's a quick list of some of the more outlandish things I bid on just because they were one cent with free shipping. Items are selected for their sheer randomness and for how ridiculous it would be to only pay one cent for them.
20: Plush Snivy
19: Namco Museum for the N64
18: A Japanese 5 yen coin
17: A pair of 3D glasses
16: 17 plastic toy tanks
15: Magatama pendant
14: Plush Angry Bird
13: Two card albums containing a total of 74 gold-plated baseball cards
12: Wii Remote and nunchuck set
11: A bootleg Pokemon Emerald cartridge
10: Halo Reach for the Xbox 360
9: An Agent Smith action figure
8: Beyblade Battle Stadium
7: $25 Petco gift card
6: Plush Mr. Krabs
5: Xbox Live card for 4000 Microsoft Points
4: A Hello Kitty comb
3: Dog flea medication
2: A listing called "hotwheels" with the description "hotwheels" and no photo
1: Microsoft Office 2010
20: Plush Snivy
19: Namco Museum for the N64
18: A Japanese 5 yen coin
17: A pair of 3D glasses
16: 17 plastic toy tanks
15: Magatama pendant
14: Plush Angry Bird
13: Two card albums containing a total of 74 gold-plated baseball cards
12: Wii Remote and nunchuck set
11: A bootleg Pokemon Emerald cartridge
10: Halo Reach for the Xbox 360
9: An Agent Smith action figure
8: Beyblade Battle Stadium
7: $25 Petco gift card
6: Plush Mr. Krabs
5: Xbox Live card for 4000 Microsoft Points
4: A Hello Kitty comb
3: Dog flea medication
2: A listing called "hotwheels" with the description "hotwheels" and no photo
1: Microsoft Office 2010
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