Chatzy Madness Volume 315: Doing A Boo-Boo With the Wa-Wa

Bree: my character with the largest breasts is komachi, who is a shinigami and doesn't get tired because she's an unliving revenant
Bree: also she's a lazy blob and she doesn't run 'cause she's slow as fuck
Bree: so I think it's perfectly realistic

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Jumpropeman: it's not much, but check this out
Jumpropeman: I'm a recognized review source on mobygames :3
B.C.: aw
Jumpropeman: they only got the switch titles now but the others are in an approval queue
Gooper Blooper: Ha, that's great
Gooper Blooper: good work JRM
Bree: I could appreciate your achievement better if I knew what the mobygames site is about
Bree: do they collect reviews or something
Bree: is it like IMDB but for games
Jumpropeman: mobygames has been around since 1999. It's a video game information site sorta similar to IMDB yeah
infinitivel: "Video game information, credits, reviews, box covers, screenshots and more for 200+ video game platforms from 1950 to date!"
Jumpropeman: it's especially useful for finding info on retro games
Jumpropeman: so hopefully they'll approve my retro reviews as well
Bree: oh, okay, nice
Bree: cornflarturations
Bree: u did it
Gooper Blooper: Ah yes, the 50s, my favorite gaming decade
Jumpropeman: Gamerankings is my next prey, but they have a 300 review minimum before they recognize you :V
Gooper Blooper: maybe next offseason
Jumpropeman: a flood of atari and colecovision reviews
Jumpropeman: alternatively: a flood of barely different iOS dentist games
Gooper Blooper: I'm waiting for the day you review a real stinker from mobile game hell
Bree: I want a full disaster report on one of those inane beauty makeover games for little girls
Gooper Blooper: Honestly I feel like JRM could get a full disaster report out of mobile hell, but only if it was, like, a look at a number of different games all in the same category
Gooper Blooper: like "games that rip off Hello Neighbor" or "makeover/doctor games"
Gooper Blooper: Just one probably doesn't have enough substance for an in-depth lengthy review, and it'd let him dissect the general trend and the stuff that led to awful mobile shit being the norm
Jumpropeman: my white whale still remains A1 Celebrity Wedding Dentist Awesome Kids Little Surgery Salon HD - Fun Superstar Dental Doctor Office Makeover Game
Jumpropeman: I found the name, but by the time I had the hardware, it disappeared

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Jumpropeman: steamed hams would eventually get into rp no doubt
Jumpropeman: might as well be first day
Jumpropeman: *scraps Just the Entire Steamed Hams Scene mystery fiter*
Jumpropeman: you might think they'd get no kills
Jumpropeman: but there's no Krusty Burger in sight
Jumpropeman: he'll have to get that meat elsewhere
Gooper Blooper: their weapon is a burning house, that's pretty dangerous
Jumpropeman: "These burgers are quite similar to the combined flesh of our fellow entrants." "Patented skinning- SKINNER... burgers"

Chatzy Madness Volume 314: Embrace the Baby Shit

Jumpropeman: I don't know if I ever told anyone that my used original Xbox came with tons of early 2000s music downloaded on it and whoever owned it before me set the system name to WHORE
Jumpropeman: first time I played Halo and went into multiplayer and just saw WHORE plastered across the screen
Jumpropeman: so confused
Gooper Blooper: that sounds hilariously edgy
Gooper Blooper: so early 2000s it hurts

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Yijun: i want in on more mutant plot goddamn it and I NEED MORE MUTANTS
Yijun: *shoves Shiva in everything like he's the new fad*
Jumpropeman: *makes Knack into a mutant AND a psychic for maximum plot potential*
MobileDrac: Clone Sammy?
Yijun: we can't clone sammy
Yijun: that would destroy the very fabrics of our universe
MobileDrac: With joy

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Jumpropeman: chao said he wanted to read about the beanie baby boom
Jumpropeman: but what about the big mouth billy bass boom
Jumpropeman: catfish, swordfish, lobster
Jumpropeman: there were singing fish on plaques across the land
Jumpropeman: and then suddenly we realized
Jumpropeman: we didn't actually like them
Jumpropeman: but it was too late
Jumpropeman: we rocked the boat
Jumpropeman: we rocked the boat baby
Jumpropeman: we rocked the boat
Jumpropeman: we tipped the boat over
Jumpropeman: we rocked the boaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Assembly

-ZFPD BUILDING-

Donuts were the finest food to ever be invented. On this, Officer Patricia Wagon was absolutely certain. She didn't care if cops and donuts was a stereotype - they were delicious, dammit, and nothing would keep her from her daily donut. But as she finished eating her treat and washed it down with a sip of black coffee, her eyes drifted over her mug to the girl sitting across from her nibbling worriedly on a toaster pastry with one hand while scanning the Hoku Lewa Times newspaper she clutched in her other hand. The girl looked like an overwound toy, ready to snap if the slightest thing went wrong... even though so far things had been smooth sailing.

Of course, Patty suspected she knew why.

"Are you going to be ready for this?"

"AAAGH!" Denise Marmalade flung her newspaper into the air in a panic, though she miraculously didn't throw her pop-tart. "What?! Now?! OKAY!" She opened her mouth wide-

"Wait, wait, hold on-"

Denise promptly shoved the entire rest of her pop-tart into her mouth, and promptly began choking on it. Patty groaned, put down her coffee, and slipped behind her coworker for the Heimlich maneuver. Once the artificial incident was over with, Patty spun Denise around and put her hands firmly on her shoulders.

"You're too tense, Denise. You need to calm down."

"B-but the kobbers are coming! They're coming in less than ten days! Some of them are already HERE!"

"I know. And there will be incidents, and there will be trouble, and there will be stress. I get it. But you have to take it easy and not act like it's the end of the world. This happens every year! I've read all about it, Browny's told me stories, it's crazy compared to other places but here it's nothing new. So just try and take it one day at a time, alright?"

"A... a-alright. Thanks, Officer Wagon."

"Please. We're coworkers!" Patricia patted Denise on the shoulder and gave her a friendly smile. "Call me Patty."

Chatzy Madness Volume 313: Former Tertiary Antagonist

M Sheep: Suddenly, all the dog barking
M Sheep: turned out to be nothing
M Sheep: What a surprise.

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Phone: The Big Bar Bawl, where competing' characters compare backstories for the darkest and/or saddest. Winner gets 1 year free therapy and drinks.
Brinehammer: At last, my time has come Again
Gooper Blooper: the triumphant return of Antoinette

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Jumpropeman: really powerful knockoff board games
Jumpropeman: plus my favorite star wars film
Gooper Blooper: holds 12 space figures
Typos quietly tapes Babbo from MAR onto the end of JRM's character profiles and returns to Brine's lurk corner

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MobileDrac: Hello. I think I've gone insane.
PalaModo: Oh no D:
PalaModo: what is wrong?
MobileDrac: I keep watching awful Globgogabgalab meme videos.
PalaModo: Why do you do this to yourself
MobileDrac: Losing X-Wing last night has left me a bitter self-loathing shell of my former self. Or something.

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RubyChao: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DZUw2cFXkAAnoQ9.jpg
Nintendy: That is... entirely too much fun to read aloud, Chao.
Gooper Blooper: apocalypse beanie
Draco: I might have one of those somewhere.
M Sheep: Sounds like an article of clothing a universal concept/hipster would wear
RubyChao: i should read about the beanie bubble

Chatzy Madness Volume 312: I Despise Wednesdays

Cornwind Evil: There was some point I wanted to raise to Sheep
Cornwind Evil: But I forgot
Draco: Was it your memory issues?
RubyChao: here's a point
RubyChao stabs Sheep to death
Draco: 😱
Cornwind Evil: Well Chao now you have to be prime sufferer of bad comics
Draco: But who will RP Junko now?
Gooper Blooper: I will
Draco: Awesome! :3
M Sheep: I guess I really got
M Sheep: the point
M Sheep: haha
Cornwind Evil: Knife pun, Sheep
M Sheep coughs
M Sheep: ...ha
Draco: You're a sharp one, Cornwind.
Jumpropeman: I'm gonna have to cut these puns short
Draco: No need to be on edge, JRM.

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Jumpropeman: *opens THE NEW AND IMPROVED STEAM WISHLIST*
Jumpropeman: ...why is the background touhou
M Sheep: They've finally taken over
M Sheep: my god
Jumpropeman: cirno looks displeased by my top game choice
M Sheep: We should have known a company of hat lovers would buckle to them

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Jumpropeman: hey sheep
Jumpropeman: Metal Gear Survive comes out tomorrow
N Goat: Jrm, there is such a thing as tact
N Goat lies down
N Goat sinks through the floor and into the basement
N Goat keeps sinking
N Goat: busts through the crust
N Goat skedaddles past the mantle
N Goat bores through the core
N Goat collapses in on self under the weight of despair and creating a gravity well that forms a supermassive black hole event
N Goat via subjecting this space to effects cause the breakdown of various rules of physics, a wormhole is formed
N Goat popping Sheep into a dimension where Metal Gear Survive does not exist
N Goat however, popped into existence in a javelina pen
N Goat startling said javelinas
N Goat and is mauled to death
N Goat: On the one hand, it sucks that a game a team of people put time and effort into looks like it may not come out great
N Goat: but there is a part, in the deepest, darkest, Persona-esque Shadow part of my heart and soul that hopes this game bombs so badly their pachinko feels it

Chatzy Madness Volume 311: Sheep Buscemi

Honster Munter: holy fuck
RubyChao: goodbye snorlax
Honster Munter: he ded

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Jumpropeman: "Search for beautiful wife of developer" it also struck me as odd when a headline brings in words like "beautiful"
Jumpropeman: "maybe if we call her beautiful she'll show up"
Gooper Blooper: that's all she wanted
B.C.: Works for ivel
Draco: Yeah, Ivel says he's looking for his beautiful wife and people know exactly who he's talking about.
Gooper Blooper: :3

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Jumpropeman: >Bratz Forever Diamondz is on Console Classix
Jumpropeman: *vibrates intensely*
Gooper Blooper: IT'S TIME
Jumpropeman: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/vRumWIQVF_c/hqdefault.jpg
Gooper Blooper: Angry Sun in a rare moment of happiness
Gooper Blooper: judging by the things JRM has been digging up I think he's down the ConsoleClassix rabbit hole
RubyChao: he's lost to us now.
Gooper Blooper: who knows which of these ridiculous gamelike objects he's shown us tonight will be his 52nd review
Jumpropeman: I'm trying to find at least one game per system for the ones I now have access to so I can get a good feel for the various emulators and make a proper site review
Jumpropeman: I might put off things like Bratz and Mario's Early Years until after that though :
Jumpropeman: those things must be enjoyed slowly and carefully
Jumpropeman: like a filet mignon

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PhoneDel: Current mood - the two team skull members squatting on royal avenue
SteelKomodo: current mood - slow down any can can ytpmv to 0.75

Chatzy Madness Volume 310: Numerous Of Chucksters

Miniscule Sheep: "I am tempted to try and think of such a name for myself. A Hydrusona, perhaps."
Miniscule Sheep: did Vykarius ever do this?
MobileDrac: I assume that's why he's Duke Snugglecrusher.

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Gooper Blooper: heading off
RubyChao: night goops
Jumpropeman: night gooper the war criminal
Gooper Blooper: I'm guilty of youtube crimes
Jumpropeman: you're strange man goop
Jumpropeman: but you steam a good ham
Draco: Bye Goops.
Gooper Blooper: I roleplayed Edea who I made an expert burger chef because of one dumb picture, I need to be able to steam hams
Draco: You called Brgrgrs "steamed hams" even though they're clearly grilled?
Gooper Blooper: Um... uh...
Gooper Blooper: you know
Gooper Blooper: one thing I sh...
Gooper Blooper left the chat
Jumpropeman: sounds like goops is pooped

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Marauder Sheep: Ugh, I can't escape Metal Gear Survive trailers
Marauder Sheep: Has not this poor series suffered enough?
Marauder Sheep: STOP
Marauder Sheep: STOP
Marauder Sheep: 'E's DEAD

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yugivel: "Godzilla is now playing Total War Shogun 2"
yugivel: well, rip
SteelKomodo: rip all of us
Smol Catto: godzilla picked a good game
Smol Catto: i wonder if he started with the shimazu or something