Chatzy Madness Volume 361: Living With Big Ass Fishies

Jumpropeman: that new switch Cooking Mama game
Jumpropeman: is either out or not out
Jumpropeman: there is no developer claiming responsibility for its existence
Jumpropeman: it might have bitcoin mining built into it
Jumpropeman: it was announced by way of a delisted trailer uploaded months early and just found
Jumpropeman: some people associated with the game deleted their posts and tweets about it
RubyChao: jrm this sounds like a creepypasta
Jumpropeman: there is gameplay out there of it and it seems like it's just a generic Cooking Mama game except she says memes like "flex for the 'gram" and "pics or it didn't happen" sometimes
Jumpropeman: you know I'm gonna try and get it now though
Jumpropeman: it was also briefly on the eshop but then taken down
N Goat: That is some strange Cooking Mama news
N Goat: Makes me wonder if Mama's cooking the books...

(later)

Jumpropeman: the cooking mama situation is much more mundane than speculation
Jumpropeman: the developer, publisher, and rights owner are in a tiff. Publisher released the game early even though the developer and rights owner wanted more time to work on it and then it got pulled back to potentially be reworked
Motor Sheep: Ah-hah!
Jumpropeman: "The statement about crypto-currency was all buzz words. The head of planet entertainment knows very little about these things... he just put some fancy language to get potential investors who like that stuff."

---

RubyChao: i have so many ideas for this season and a third of them all revolve around the same trio of characters, send help

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Draco: Guys, I almost killed my gaming group by jokingly suggesting we name our starship the "Poo Poo Pee Pee"
SKINKS: Oh no
SKINKS: What
SKINKS: I need to know but I'm scared to ask
Harpy: tell me everything.
iKomodo: Oh god
Draco: We couldn't decide on a ship name, so we were throwing out suggestions. I threw out some serious ones and then said "Let's call it the Poo Poo Pee Pee". Cue about five minutes of us busting out laughing and making jokes about it, like "The enemy ships get -2 to Initiative because they're too busy laughing" and "Sir, our shields have withstood the Poo Poo Pee Pee." "I should hope so."
Draco: We just settled on "Lockdown" as the name.
Harpy: "UNLEASH THE POO POO PEE PEE"
SKINKS: Perfect
Harpy: for some reason i thought you TPK people with the power of POO POO PEE PEE or something
Harpy: or at least that woulda been funny...

---

RubyChao: can you believe there's less than a month
RubyChao: *shakes slightly*
Brinehammer: It's almost here! I'm bouncing between Hype and Oh No.
Draco: Oh n-oda
Brinehammer: Oh nobu

Chatzy Madness Volume 360: Momma Said Obliterate The Tri-County Area

ivel: was this ever shared in here
Harpy: ah yes
Harpy: dlc
Gooper Blooper: what the
Gooper Blooper: oh my god
Gooper Blooper: how did I miss the DLC
Harpy: goops you have failed us for the last time
Gooper Blooper: >she gives advice on scams because business and friends because Candid Friend
Gooper Blooper: beautiful
Gooper Blooper: Oh, I missed it because it literally came out today
Gooper Blooper: this is brand new hot off the presses gaming content
Harpy: holy shit ivel
Harpy: i take back your failure, goops
Harpy: BUT I'M WARNING YOU
ivel: oh wow
ivel: no wonder it was missed, yeah, it's brand new :U
Jumpropeman: denying us that cucumber consumption on the store page too
Gooper Blooper: only Komachi gets to see Nitori eat stuff in front of her for free
Gooper Blooper: "more like this: Spyro Reignited Trilogy"
Gooper Blooper: yes, that is just like nitori advice, good job steam
Jumpropeman: Nitori advises you get games in bundles for greater value!

---

Jumpropeman: you know what I forgot existed?
Jumpropeman: the arby's waifu
Draco: How could you?
Jumpropeman: the only way to make up for such a grievous sin is to eat at arby's for the first time
Draco: Dew it

---

Jumpropeman: how dare wikipedia not have a full list of all the tiger handhelds
Jumpropeman: how am I supposed to cherrypick one, be underwhelmed, and not play any again for 3 or so years?!
Gooper Blooper: link
Jumpropeman: three separate little mermaid handhelds
Jumpropeman: JUMP
FASTER
Jumpropeman: what perils await the potato heads
Gooper Blooper: JRM, look!!
Gooper Blooper: Another Terrible!!
Jumpropeman: I still have a bad rendition of that Bonjour song from the start of the film etched into my memory
Jumpropeman: "1947: Flippers introduced" Pinball was rough before 47
Gooper Blooper: it really was
ivel: there's a reason it was considered gambling
Gooper Blooper: I think the history of pinball has come up in here before a long while back but it's a fascinating story
RubyChao: meanwhile, pachinko forgot to ever move past the gambling RNG part
Gooper Blooper: and the amusement industry eventually gave us arcade games, which led to home video games!
ivel: pachinko machines are neat but not the gambling aspect of it
Jumpropeman: the definition of all flash, no substance
Gooper Blooper: JRM reviews pachinko
Gooper Blooper: Going by the definition presented in that The First Video Game documentary, Tiger handhelds don't qualify
Gooper Blooper: but they sure are close
Jumpropeman: I reviewed Sushi Cat
Jumpropeman: but I haven't touched anything that's straight pachinko like an odyssey2 game I very deliberately did not do back then :V
Gooper Blooper: Catch The Ball, more like Watch The Ball
Jumpropeman: at least you know what you're getting into there
Gooper Blooper: now this is gaming
Jumpropeman: one day I'll realize I have no review lined up when it's posting time, and that's when Slot Machine will be there to save my bacon
Jumpropeman: oh wow goops, didn't know you posted a full longplay of slot machine
Gooper Blooper: it did amuse me in 2018 when you had less of a Game Hoard backlog and so posted a bunch of Atari reviews during Brawl Season

---

RubyChao: status update
RubyChao: i have been using windows 7 for two months past its end of support date and i haven't died
RubyChao: mad with power

Chaos In The Undercity

Even before The Curse had fallen, there had been a warning spread by those who planned ahead. A warning that just because The Curse was so big, and so omnipresent, and had already killed off nearly every other major criminal organization on Olympia before their own demise, did not mean that defeating The Curse meant the end of crime and corruption in Olympia. Make no mistake, progress had been made and defeating The Curse was the right thing to do, but the battle for Olympia still raged on, now moving more fully into the dark alleys and graffiti-stained corridors of The Undercity.

The Curse had simply been too big for their defeat to mean the end of the war. While the group technically still existed as The Cure, it was a tiny fraction of its' former self, and a massive void had been created in Olympia, particularly the Undercity. The parasites that had been in hiding came scrabbling out of the woodwork, every idiot with a handgun and something to prove thinking they had a shot at being the next Plague. However, they lacked something that The Curse had possessed in spades: teamwork. Sure, The Curse had had its' mavericks and traitors, any group big enough had some of those, but The Curse had gotten as far as it had due to unity and a shared sense of purpose. Without that, these no-hopers were fighting amongst themselves as much as they were fighting the forces of good that were reclaiming Olympia - The Cure, The Corps, the police... and of course the Kobbers.

And one such underground street fight was going down right now, in the territory of Yamato, former leader of a gang of cybernetic samurai who had staked a claim on part of the Undercity before Plague's forces had forced him into retreat minus most of his men. Now he was under attack once more and had no allies to defend himself with, though his foe didn't seem as intimidating as The Curse's army had been.

Darkness

Observation log, day... day... I don't even know any more. I've lost track of the days. But it's been a long time. Feels like years, probably been a month, maybe something in between.

There are only three of us left. Attempts to contact other stations have all failed. I think we might be alone. It's me, Twilight, and her sole remaining daughter, Gloria. We've been holed up in here in hiding from the darkness outside. We thought maybe it would go away eventually, or that help would arrive, or... something. I honestly am not sure what exactly we thought would happen.

I'm not sure why Dark Matter hasn't taken us yet. Maybe it's been busying itself elsewhere. Maybe it's recuperating from the fight it had with the Kobbers. Our greatest failure. We threw everything we had at it over the course of several days, desperately trying to finish it off, but it was too late. We were fighting something bigger than even the Kobbers, so vast we could barely comprehend it. For every Dark Matter we beat back, more came. It's blanketed the entire planet by now, it had endless resources to throw at us. The Kobbers had achieved many victories in their short reign, but they weren't prepared for this scale of attack. Kobbers fought battles. We weren't ready for an all-out war.

Dark Matter had played smart. It had steadily grown, targeting less populated areas first to quickly overwhelm local resistance and grow larger off of easy meals. It saved the Kobbers for last, and we noticed it much too late. We faced it several times, and at first we seemed to be winning, but the endless reinforcements proved too much, and as Dark Matter noticed we were tiring, it grew more eager to expend resources to defeat us. The breaks it took grew shorter, and our forces thinned gradually as more and more Kobbers were lost to the darkness over the years.

A last stand had been made. Some of the Kobbers made a sacrifice, going down fighting so that the others could flee into space and escape, hopefully to regroup on another planet with reinforcements. In the chaos, Twilight, Gloria, and I ended up unable to reach our rocket in time, and Dark Matter destroyed it. Twilight led us here to her safehouse, and we barricaded ourselves in against the alien menace. Twilight had a plan. She's a brilliant scientist and inventor, and she was close to a breakthrough in "sifter" technology, a handheld device that could warp between dimensions. She'd been working with other Kobber scientists to perfect the invention, but work had slowed as they were picked off by Dark Matter or forced to flee. Now she's trying to finish the work alone. Gloria and I don't know anything about dimensional travel, so we're not much help.

The sifter is nearly complete. Thank goodness, because we don't have much time left. Even if Dark Matter leaves us alone, we only have enough food and water left for about another three weeks before we have no choice but to abandon the shelter. Time's running out, and I can tell Twilight is feeling the strain. Gloria's doing her best to keep us sane, reading aloud to us from her large collection of books. Bless her.

I chose to write today because I've realized I may not get another chance. Instead of always putting it off until we were safe, I wanted to record this just in case something goes wrong. I don't want to be a pessimist, but I'd like to be realistic about our chances with what's outside. It's scary, but

Chatzy Madness Volume 359: Sakuya Izayoi Gives You Advice And Dabs

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Chatzy Madness Volume 358: Hit Da Button To Hit Da Bawl

RubyChao: so remember how we had oak's alolan form?
RubyChao: we have his mega evolution too
Jumpropeman: oh my giggles
Jumpropeman: they're out of control
Mluh Sheep: Oak became a DJ?!
Jumpropeman: the grand kai comparison in the comments is great
Jumpropeman: we really deserved more Grand Kai
Jumpropeman: JRM says, surprising no one
RubyChao: oh, jrm
RubyChao: i already know he's in your future folder
Jumpropeman: maybe I can repurpose the desi- please chao, I'm not THAT transparent

---

Jumpropeman: WOOF WOOF
Mluh Sheep: WOOF WOOF
Boop: boof
Boop: bork
Mluh Sheep: Well, I thought that was pretty good, all in all
Jumpropeman: I do appreciate the show balancing harley's in-depth character development and serious moments with its absurd jokes and reveling in violence
Boop: i understand nothing and yet want to be included into this elaborate ritual-
Mluh Sheep: There's a dog that barks at the end of the end credits, Harpy
Jumpropeman: OUR CLAN'S RITUAL REVEALED TO A COMMONER?!
Mluh Sheep: YOUR MISTAKE WAS TRUSTING ME
Mluh Sheep: IT SHALL BE YOUR RECKONING
Jumpropeman: barks is being charitable
Jumpropeman: the dog literally says WOOF WOOF in I think Harley Quinn's voice
Mluh Sheep: It's definitely Harley
Boop: i can't believe harley is a bulldog fan-
Mluh Sheep: Chatzy Madness: (JRM and Sheep post WOOF WOOF in Chatzy every time they finish watching an episode of Harley Quinn, for reasons I'm sure I would understand if I saw it myself)
Mluh Sheep: Goops giving us a lot of credit here
ivel: and now he'll know
ivel: because SOMEONE spoiled it
Boop: gee, sorry for asking ;V

---

Gooper Blooper joined the chat
Boop: hi goops!
RubyChao: hey goop
Boop: which i accidentally pronounced "joops" in real life and ivel was like "whyYY"
Boop: on accident, mind
Draco: It's Gif, not Gif.
Boop: shut

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(Re: Chao doing jury duty)

Jumpropeman: do they wipe your memory if something is stricken from the record?
RubyChao: not that i know of... but how would i remember?
Boop: spoopy
Gooper Blooper: Will you buy citrus merchandise with your jury money
RubyChao: *looks at the upcoming symphogacha*
RubyChao: maybe

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Jumpropeman: link

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Jumpropeman joined the chat
Jumpropeman: B O I P
Brinehammer joined the chat
Jumpropeman: Boiphammer
Brinehammer: I was summoned by the Boip, is everything okay?
Jumpropeman: I think the volume and spacing is out of whack
Brinehammer: Well... Shoot.
Jumpropeman: maybe you should diversify your tool kit beyond the hammer
RubyChao joined the chat
Jumpropeman: hi RuboipChao
RubyChao: boip Boipboipboip
Jumpropeman: it's getting worse than I thought D:
Jumpropeman: mr. president
Jumpropeman: prepare the nukes

Chatzy Madness Volume 357: We Respect Your Grinch Lust

Jumpropeman: ive been eager for the next madness
Gooper Blooper: because you knew it would have the alvin and the chipmunks wiki in it, right

(later)

Jumpropeman: "I really want to find me a woman who gets stuck in tight spaces in Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Squeakquel"
Jumpropeman: put this on my gravestone

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Merit Sheep: "12 Games of Christmas: Adolescent Santa Claus"
Merit Sheep dread
iKomodo: Good
iKomodo: Oh dear
iKomodo: much dread
Merit Sheep: I will say
Merit Sheep: JRM's article on it is well constructed though

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Jumpropeman: oh yeah cornwind
Jumpropeman: they updated River City Girls to have a marginally better secret ending!
Cornwind Evil: Well stomp on frogs and shove a crowbar up my nose.
Jumpropeman: give me a second, I don't have a crowbar on hand
Gooper Blooper: A+ Garfield reference CW
Cornwind Evil: The fact that GB recognized that reference kinda scares me
Gooper Blooper: It was one of my favorite strips back in the day
Gooper Blooper: Garfield at his most aggressively sarcastic

---

Jumpropeman: I went to family video again today, place is stripped dry
Jumpropeman: didnt buy anything except ice cream
Jumpropeman: the few games I'd still want to buy left hadn't discounted below 10 bucks
Jumpropeman: the shelves had 1: sports games 2: kinect/playstation move games and 3: Fallout 76 :V
Gooper Blooper: they're happy no one bought their freezer yet so they could still sell ice cream

---

Bree: snom? snom.
Tori: Appletun is so good
Draco: SNOM

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Jumpropeman: oh no
Jumpropeman: I had forgotten that I had given Dracozolt Gijinka a name
Tori: HAHA
Tori: YOU ARE AS DOOMED AS I AM
Tori: i’m sorry for your loss