Friday, April 30, 2021

Chatzy Madness: The Meiling Collection


Bree: dumb mental image
Bree: meiling is like "hey patchy you want to be my fitness buddy" "no" "it would mostly consist of me carrying you to make my training more difficult" "can I read while you do it" "sure" "...fine"
Gooper Blooper: thirty keks
Bree: that's a whole barrel of keks
Ivy Dragon: Patchy is like a lazy Yoda.
RubyChao: patchy gives training for everyone who asks
RubyChao: it consists of doing the work for her

---

Gooper Blooper: okay, I attempted to jump to the booby paragraph by hitting control+F and typing "booby"
Gooper Blooper: but something went wrong
M Sheep: Jumped to Meiling's entry?
Gooper Blooper: and that's how I wound up staring at the phrase "Kamen Rider Booby"

---

Bree: "meiling, what are your plans to save kawashiro" *picture of nitori's rear* *picture of IDK MITSUO's rear*
Bree: chiharu: "I think it's a great plan!"
Draco: Chiharu pls
Bree: there's a reason chiharu and meiling are bes frands
Bree: (the reason is they're goofballs)

Thursday, April 22, 2021

The Rest Is Silence

Blade kept wishing that he would wake up and this would stop happening.

His boots echoed off the white tile as he made his way down the hospital hall. Reverberating voices around him from the staff as they milled about went into his ears and dispelled into formless muck he couldn't focus on. It was just another day for them. He approached the room he'd been told to visit, simultaneously trying to hurry and also trying to delay the inevitable, resulting in a stilted and stiff stride.

Blade stopped at the threshold, peering into the room. He saw Helios Canicco, head of the KOB Hospital, taking notes on a clipboard with a grim expression. Again, two clashing emotions filled Blade's head. He was relieved Helios had managed to appear in Las Vegas on such short notice, but he was also very concerned that he was present at all. Helios was one of the best doctors any Kobber had ever seen. The man was quite literally a miracle worker. So for his presence to be required this far from either Olympia or Agama was grim tidings indeed.

Blade put a gloved hand against the door railing to stabilize himself. He closed his eyes and took a deep, long breath. Helios looked over at him sympathetically and made a gesture with one hand. Blade's eyes cracked open and he took in Helios' hand beckoning at him. He sighed, shook his head, and stepped inside.

Together, the two of them looked at Sally Bishop.

Heavily swaddled in bandages, hooked up to a large beeping machine, and out like a light. It had been years since she had stepped in the ring, but Silence still had some fairly impressive muscles. They did her no good here, though, and the tall, strong woman had never looked smaller and more weak to her long-time friend. Her skin was pale and her chest slowly rose and fell with each slumbering breath.

Blade let out a choked noise. "G...grgh! Why... why couldn't I have been there... I should have been there."

Helios did his best to comfort Blade, placing a hand on the biker's back. When Blade flinched, Helios flinched in kind, but Blade calmed down enough to let Helios keep his hand there. "Don't blame yourself. You couldn't have known this would happen."

"...You're right. Blaming myself won't do anything." Blade fell silent for a time, his fists clenching and unclenching. "I should be blaming the rat bastard who did this to my best friend."

"I can at least tell you she's not in pain right now. I've made sure she can get all the medication she needs, and get lots of sleep. If anything else comes up, I'll let you know. A private detective has already offered to investigate the case and has hired help with boots on the ground as we speak."

"Private schmivate. They can investigate all they want, but I'm not sitting by waiting for them to figure this out." Blade gently placed his hand on top of one of Silence's hands, taking in a shuddering breath. "I'm... I'm gonna get this guy, Sally. You can... c-can count on me."

Blade removed his helmet to see Sally better, and tears dripped onto her hospital bed.

"Because we're friends." 

Friday, April 16, 2021

End Of The Line

Slowly, she walked into the general store.

She looked at the man behind the counter. "Hello." he said. "Welcome to The Trading Post." She turned away from him, unable to speak. Even now, even at a time like this, he was as cheerful as ever, the same as she always remembered him being.

Even though the end was coming. The end of everything.

She'd heard about it a month prior. Since then she'd been to every town and city she had passed through on her journey years ago. She caught up with old friends, fought some old enemies. And even though nothing on the surface had changed, it all felt different somehow. She paid more attention to the smaller details of the world around her. The way weeds gently formed pathways on less-used cobblestones. The way moss spread to cover the side of a stone wall. The quiet corners of the shop she was standing in right now, where people rarely browsed.

It was all just as she had remembered, now appreciated in a new light. And it would all be going away.

Monday, April 12, 2021

A Flood Of Quickie Game Reviews

It's been a long time since I last posted any opinions of video games I've played on this blog. Funnily enough, I stopped not long before Jumpropeman launched The Game Hoard and became the de facto game reviewer of the community. He does a fantastic job at it and I couldn't compare... but after four years, I've decided to dig through the games I've beaten since the beginning of 2017 and share my thoughts on them. As a caveat, some of these memories are quite old, and I also skipped some games I just don't have much to say about. Let's get right to it.

Saturday, April 10, 2021

Chatzy Madness Volume 383: Ghostbusting Balan's Wonderlinens 'N Things

MobileDraco shoves Chao out of the way and gets in his spaceship to go read Chatzy Madness.

---

Jumpropeman: "A girl shooting fruit PRO - Hunting apples, pears and other fruits, test your skill will be a fun confrontation. Do not fail or the game is over, you are the best hunter. Good Luck."
Jumpropeman: that's not the game's description
Jumpropeman: that's its' title

--- 

RubyChao: link
Del And Knuckles: amogus
MobileDraco: lol
MobileDraco: Kanade is looking pretty dess

---

Draco: The sequel to Pelswick RP.
Gooper Blooper: Peppa Pig?!
Jumpropeman: well
Jumpropeman: if gooper ever rps lucina
Jumpropeman: we know what to expect
Gooper Blooper: pig slayer
Jumpropeman: Peppa Pig's father... was the consumer
Jumpropeman: it's all coming together
Gooper Blooper: pig lore
Draco: Is Lucina's mom Tenshi?
Gooper Blooper: link
Gooper Blooper: link

---

Draco: Kind of a creepy Bravely Default 2 theory. When you cut down trees and bushes and grass and find stuff, who's to say there's not a pile of bones nearby? It's always stuff sold locally that you pick up too! You're grabbing that Glaive off of someone the goblins killed awhile back, Seth.
Gooper Blooper: m-maybe it just fell off the back of a caravan
Draco: Yeah, after a goblin killed the guy driving it.

---

RubyChao: world war 2 has been solved, with trains
Draco: Good job, Chao. You saved Hitler.
RubyChao: excuse you, i saved Stalin
RubyChao: and then he made me build a railroad across siberia
Gooper Blooper: They Saved Hitler's Train

(later)

RubyChao: *look at rt2*
RubyChao: ...motherFUCKER
RubyChao: look at the minimap
RubyChao: look at the name
RubyChao: this map is called The Dream
RubyChao: I literally never got it until right now.
Gooper Blooper: link