Saturday, March 23, 2019

Power Play

-CENTRAL AMERICA-
-PACAYA VOLCANO NATIONAL PARK-

Pacaya Volcano. In 1965, it violently erupted, blanketing the earth with molten rock. Since then, it has remained quietly active, steadily unleashing a magma flow for decades. If there was ever a place for a dinosaur to live, this was it - at least, going by books old enough to have been published before the volcano blew its' top.


Gwangi surveyed his domain. For over three years, he and the Velociraptor known as Blue had lived here, free from the chaos of Las Vegas and the Neo Kobbers. They spent a lot of time in the lush jungles nearby, but they often returned to the volcano to explore and intimidate tourists. It was a strange life, but a safe one for monsters like them. They were joined by another former Neo Kobber, the giant mantis Spitfire. The three of them hunted in the jungles together, then spread out over the volcano to patrol their territory.

Today, their time here would come to an end.

It was Spitfire who detected the anomalous noise first. Her antenna twitched, and she held up a claw to stop Gwangi just as he was kicking off one of his territorial roaring displays. "Quiet. You hear that?" Blue cocked her head and listened carefully, chirping in surprise when she too heard the noise. It was a deep, low thrum, some sort of mechanical propulsion. Spitfire thought it sounded familiar, and tried to place it... ah, yes, now she remembered. It sounded like her old friend Captain Gordon's ship, the Gotengo. That flying battleship had a jet system on board that sounded similar to this. But that was the problem - similar. Not the same.

"...What is that?" Spitfire twiddled her mandibles in mild irritation at there being a question she didn't know the answer to. "Hang on, I'll get to the bottom of this." The three of them were at the fringes of the jungle, and unable to see past the canopy. Spitfire made short work of that problem, scuttling up a tree and reaching the top to peer into the sky.

It was then that she saw the airship approaching the park.

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 325: Kobber Girls With Huge Racks

Brandoo Champloo: tatami's reaction to everything is as follows
Brandoo Champloo: gklajfkljgfjljfldg

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Jumpropeman: "you didn't happen to see the Nakali gems"
Jumpropeman: *labrys laughs* You mean these?
Jumpropeman: *Goes Super Labrys*
Draco: You found me out. Neo Dark Million? More like Neo Labrys Million.

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Jumpropeman: future brinechar

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The Bill Wurtz Bad Boys: question
The Bill Wurtz Bad Boys: is dedede a penguin
The Bill Wurtz Bad Boys: are you sure
The Bill Wurtz Bad Boys: that's two questions i guess

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Goblet Time: Okay also there's been some new developments in Gorillaz lore
Goblet Time: but I'm ignoring all of it because fuck that
Goblet Time: the band is happy now, Damon, don't take this away from me D:
Bree: happy because they got rid of murdoc "pickledick" niccals
Jumpropeman: you know it won't last
Jumpropeman: he's gonna rise from his jail cell

Monday, March 11, 2019

Chatzy Madness Volume 324: Intellectual Articles about Tony the Tiger

Bree: it's my headcanon that when they encountered the niseis, phoenix was like "wat" and browny or the niseis had to be like "clones. it's a long story."
Bree: and further, that browny tried to introduce them out of politeness, but could only remember two of the niseis' names
Bree: admittedly I like to think most people can't remember their names aside from like, those who know them well or those who try especially hard
Bree: "simone and... the other five"
Jumpropeknack: Clawhauser has Know Your Niseis flash cards
Jumpropeknack: they don't help because they look the same :V
ivel: Simone and the Nisei 5
Bree: hahah yess

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Jumpropeknack: sorry for exposition barf, but I figured it easier than having everyone ask questions gradually
Jumpropeknack: of course, you aren't limited to just showing off your area. It's actually smarter to show off the whole of the game after all
Jumpropeknack: make me want Knack 3
MobileDraco: Make me want to save Knack. Jk
Bree: "no one wants a knack 3 except people with really low standards"
Bree: jrm
Bree: do you want some burn cream?
Jumpropeknack: I want Functional Knack 2 before a Knack 3
Jumpropeknack: how will I know the fate of the High Goblin if I don't get to beat 2 first?!

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Bree: I have fruit knacks
Bree: ...snacks.
Bree: I have fruit snacks.
Jumpropeknack: there we go, another tie-in
Bree: did I help OOCly and by accidently
ivel: you're so helpful
ivel: you have a real
ivel: KNACK for helping
Bree: if I said I'm too tired to continue the "nobody likes puns" meme, would that alarm you
Bree: because I kek'd
M Sheep: knackturally
Bree: don't worry, I still don't like steve buscemi jokes.
Bree: timing!
ivel: knack it off Sheep :I
M Sheep: knock.
Jumpropeknack: *moves the bar back to Atrocious*
M Sheep: Fool, you only make me stronger.
M Sheep: i mean
M Sheep: hi
Gooper Blooper: link
M Sheep: Missing from trailer:shot of a slightly bewildered Father Squid giving a thumbs up and saying "It's specknackular."
Gooper Blooper: Father Squid wasn't available for the first draft
Jumpropeknack: =o how'd you find my hidden file
M Sheep: "This game's no 'relic' and 'transforms' the franchise into..." Father Squid squints offscreen. "orb-iting greatness."
M Sheep: "Look for the code on specially marked Scorito snacks and Mt Dufe. Some will enter, less will win. Standard postage rates will apply. Knack is back."
M Sheep: "Remember to Knack responsibly."
M Sheep next up: Father Squid records the anti-theft PSA before every film
M Sheep: "You wouldn't steal a giraffe!"
RubyChao: yes i would
ivel: I would
MobileDraco: Well, I can't BUY one.
Jumpropeknack: when, as a reviewer, I find myself somewhat agreeing with a fictional fat plant man, you know you did good
Gooper Blooper: XD
Jumpropeknack: I've only brought it up once before, but Knack 3 as described reminds me a lot of Vexx, and there was a lot of joy to be found in just getting everything in that game for the sake of it... but the final level really strained that so it was relief to learn "hey, you ain't missing anything for not getting all the stuff"
Draco: Wait, what? Chuckster's not real? D:
Bree: chuckster's not fat!!!!!!
Bree: it's alllllll muscle baby
Bree: from CHUCKING
Bree: unless we somehow got another fictional fat plant man when I wasn't looking
Bree: who is also named chuckster because draco said chuckster
Draco: I assumed he meant Chuckster.
Jumpropeknack: I actually meant Zeldoten twas the Chuckster yes
Jumpropeknack: *googles Knack Crying for a reason that isn't a spoiler I swear*