Where We Stand

So Erebus recently did a thing where he basically listed off all his characters and his current thoughts on them and where they're going. I liked this idea so I'm doing it too!

I had kind of wanted Widow Maker to remain in baby form for longer, but alas various fites and plotline requirements forced her to grow up fast. I know the baby has her fans, so don't fret - eventually I'm sure she'll slip up in the arena or out in the city, and we will once more be graced with her baby form in all of its baffling cuteness. I'm glad the mantis finally got her plot thread - her never getting a real one was something that bugged me last year, especially since the plot I had planned for her got scuttled due to... outside circumstances.

Writing Sarah without Alex has been less of a challenge than I'd anticipated. I once said that with Alex gone I would retire Sarah because there wasn't enough to her character beyond the pairing, but I feel that's been proven false by this year. Alex and I were going to collaborate a little on a proper explanation from the knight himself on why he's been gone and will remain gone, but she's been too busy I suppose.

I think Celestia is really starting to come into her own now. For too long she was used almost exclusively as a robot-fixing plot device, not really getting a chance to do much else. Lately, though, she's been making more appearances and doing more interesting things with her technology, and her current connection to Pit and his alter ego is certainly entertaining. I believe she's risen up to equal footing with Widow Maker and Sarah.

Skeiron was pretty active in the first chunk of this year, playing a role in the biker plot and pirate adventure, but he's done little more recently. Last week I downgraded Skeiron to the Secondary Characters section in the Ensemble to reflect his lesser role (I think Josephine has passed him in importance as well). I like the rivalry he's built with Artemis. Skeiron usually doesn't get that sort of character interaction.

I've got a good idea of how to use Browny. The one-night post office adventure is an example of what I think Browny'd be good at - he'd wander into the bar with a police case, and people could assist him and/or Samson with the job. Simple, one-night encounters and battles, the sort of plot Jumpropeman says he likes. Good to just jump right in with.

Clippy has been quiet recently, but I have a few ideas of what to possibly do with him. I can't retire the character yet - third place in the Big Bar Brawl deserves better than that!

Making Sarah's sisters unique was a great idea. Josephine is fun to write and a nice contrast to Sarah and it's nice just knowing that Sarah's sisters are seeing the same sort of benefits she is from abandoning some of their old world's values and traditions that no longer apply in Manhattan. The main thrust behind Gloria and Ariel as well as Electra is that they have fairly interesting lives just like the kobbers, but only know the bar through friends/family (Sarah, Celestia, and Widow Maker). Sort of a "but that's a story for another day" thing. You don't know everyone's story in real life, so it stands to reason the RPverse would also have minor characters that are still interesting, it's just their lives happen "offscreen", if you follow.

If you were curious as to what's become of The Swarm, I'm not certain myself. Best guess is that they're holding down the fort at Widow Maker's summer home. When Del posted that the Beer Garden Frogs had all died and were replaced by their offspring, that made me look up praying mantis and stag beetle ages. Regardless, tarantulas can live for decades so at least those are fine.

In case anyone is wondering about Gust, M Sheep is preparing a sendoff for the character. As always, it's amazing to think what the whim of the tractor can accomplish. If Gust hadn't gotten a string of good rolls, he would have gone down like a bitch just like all the other bikers, and the Dr. Bulgrave plot may have ended very differently. Gust was instrumental in making the villains of that plot more likable and less "BLARG I AM THE DARKNESS THAT CRAWLS IN THE HEARTS OF MEN". He was an ordinary guy wrapped up in events he only sort of understood, and he met a lady along the way. As for the good doctor himself, he is essentially retired, but due to him still being alive, one never knows when he could cameo.

While our current very small player base practically requires everybody to manage a stable of characters to keep the place from being a ghost town, I still definitely don't need any more dudes. I've got at least one more character I've considered bringing in a few times, but the roster is just too crowded, even with Bulgrave and Gust out of the way. Maybe Sarah and pals will go on a family vacation...

Cutting Room Floor 6: Dr. Bulgrave Edition

The Dr. Bulgrave storyline, my longest and most-developed plot ever, has finally ended. And in unique fashion, too. I was getting kinda choked up there, honestly.

An absolute shitton of stuff did not make it into the plot, or was done differently than planned. Here's a look.

The Best of Zoofights Forum Spambots

I've got a few choice tapogre posts from last year saved on my computer that were deleted off the forum by Gravitas. Allow me to share.

First, here's an argument held in the topic where the infamous TRAMADOL made its first appearance.

Honk on Honk Bag: But what are TRAMADOL's abilities? How would it stack up against Ned Killy?

RedSpy: Nothing could stack up against Ned Killy. A giant, pissed off fish who does anything to win and has a whole arsenal of weapons? He earned his position of champion of Zoofights IV.

Gooper Blooper: Ned Killy is nowhere near as affordable or effective. Ned Killy no chance.

#TRAMADOL

Gezora: Gezora can't believe its found such a bargain. Gezora will pour TRAuMADOL Slammers all around!

Gentleman Draco: Ned Killy doesn't stand a chance against Traumadol. He's from Australia, right? Well, Australia is populated mostly by criminals and criminals are not to be trusted, therefore Zoofights would not give them access to the best surgineers for Ned Killy. Meanwhile, Traumadol is "U.S. Licensed" and thus has big money backing him up. His speed is also greatly superior to Ned Killy's! "Fast overnight shipping" versus...what? 20 km/h? 30? Traumadol has the speed and endurance to cross an entire continent in just a few hours! "Free prescription included" also means he's smarter; if he's giving out prescriptions, he must be a doctor, right? Finally, he's got Ned Killy beat in the stealth department. "Discreet unmarked packages" give him the ability to hide in plain sight; you wouldn't know you were looking at him until you were already dead.

#TRAMADOL all the way!

RedSpy: When I said Ned Killy would win, I forgot his latest upgrades.

He is now frontman of Ned Killy and the Kings of Beasts, his body replaced with that of a rockstar. What are rockstars known for doing?

POPPING PILLS

Ned Killy will seem to win the fight against our proud new contestant via consumption, only to overdose on Tramadol and die for it. It'll be like Steamcrab vs. Reanimamut or Drillz vs. Hyperpotamus, the victorious pill bottle bursting right through Ned Killy's now humanoid gut.

Tramadol is truly the future godbeast of Zoofights. It will make From Hell, Seanet, Elohim, and Gamma Constrictor wet their pants with terror. God help us if this . . . beast is ever released to the public.